


Perfect

by MVgetanAttitude



Series: YG's Leaders [1]
Category: Winner (Band), iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Canon Compliant, Exhibitionism, Hanbin getting dicked-down bc he deserves it, Hanbin has a screwed sense of self-worth, Heat Sex, Heat Suppressants, Hurt/Comfort, I just know that I hurt Bin too much, I made chapter 5 suck a bit less pls reread that, I swear he’s my ult bias, I’m also sorry Bobby, I’m sorry Bin, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Miscommunication, My tags are all over the place oops, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, OT7, Omega Hanbin, Omega Seungyoon saves the day, Scent Marking, Separation Anxiety, Smut, This is set present day, brb while I put all of the tags for butt stuff, clingy Hanbin, for the love of god don’t question my motives, hanbin-centric, hopefully not the cringey kind tho, i have no fucking clue what I’m doing okay., m'sorry babie, okay I lied it’s cringey, okay Min stop tagging stuff jfc, so I’M OK era, that's my fav tag can y'all tell, there's actually a plot too, this is more feelings than fucking, twice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 111,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVgetanAttitude/pseuds/MVgetanAttitude
Summary: Hanbin wished that he could just accept himself for what he was, but when he looked in the mirror- all he could see were his faults and failures.He was already ashamed of being an Omega, and after hearing some of his group mates’ opinions, Hanbin decided that the best thing to do was to hide his status behind a sharp gaze and some suppressants.So, what happens when the secret gets out and the image he’s created of himself shatters?





	1. I’m used to being alone

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title from I’M OK - iKON
> 
> Waaaaaa look who’s finally posting this mess!!
> 
> I’m sorry it probably sucks yall ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> The fic is set in the I’M OK era, aka when I’m writing this, so I kinda pictured everyone based off of the music video bc they all look hot af  
> (+Am I the only one that thinks Bin looks so tiny in it?? Sobbing)
> 
> Okay I’m done. 
> 
> Bye.

“So why haven’t you guys made it official?” 

“Yeah! All of your fans—iKONICs is it? And even non-fans, everyone is wondering why you seven haven’t formed a pack yet? It’s been what... _four_ _years_ since your debut?”

Hanbin hated this question _more than anything._ Recently, it’s been coming up more often in interviews and during shows, and Hanbin gave them the same answer _every time._

“It just hasn’t been something we’ve gotten around to, I guess,” Hanbin answered the two hosts in front of him, “We weren’t sure of the definite line-up for a while, and we’ve just been really busy since then. Not to mention having to wait for—”

“But how does the rest of the group feel?” The female host cut Hanbin off, directing the next part to the rest of the members, “B.I doesn’t feel like it’s necessary to form that bond? Does it feel like he’s too focused on the fame, or like he just doesn’t care enough about you together as more than an idol group? You’re the oldest Alpha, what’s your view on the matter, Song?” she asked, bringing her microphone to Yunhyeong’s face.

Hanbin was panicking. This wasn’t how the interview was meant to go, and judging by the look of surprise on the second host’s face, he was just as thrown-off as Hanbin was.

Yunhyeong, not expecting the sudden question, stumbled a bit over his response, “Uh. Like Hanbin said, we just haven’t had the chance to sit down and discuss the matter yet, but we plan on having that talk soon,” followed by Yunhyeong’s nervous laughter.

That wasn’t entirely true. On multiple occasions, a member has asked about forming a pack bond, and each time Hanbin had shot down the idea, promising to talk about it another time.  

“Well, you six better hope that B.I makes up his mind on the matter. People are starting to believe that the seven of you don’t truly like working together, and that’s why you’re avoiding the bond. It’s not entirely uncommon for idol groups to not form a pack, but most of those groups were older, or had been disbanded by the company shortly after.”

Hanbin was really starting to hate this woman.

“Enough of this serious talk,” the male host _finally_ got to cut in, “How about we showcase your new song? This is _I’M OK_ everyone!”

 

* * *

 

“Really, Hanbin? People are starting to question why we haven’t become a pack yet,” Jinhwan spoke from his place at the back of the van, “ _I’m_ starting to question it, too.”

He really didn’t want to have this conversation, not now, not ever. “Can we do this some other time? _Please_. I have a headache.” Hanbin shut his eyes and leaned his head against the window. He could hear Jinhwan scoff, and Junhoe mocking him in a higher pitched tone.

“We’ve tried talking to you about this before, but each time you delay the conversation,” Yunhyeong was trying to keep an argument from breaking out, Hanbin could tell. “Do you not want to be pack with us?”

“That’s not it. Can you guys just drop it?” Why couldn’t they just accept his answer and be done with it? Although he supposed it was a fair question, and he was, in fact, being the unfair party. Whatever, he still wasn’t going to talk about it right now.

“If you don’t want to be pack with us, just tell us now. That way, the six of us can form our own. We don’t need you to be a part of it, if you didn’t want to be,” Yunhyeong said, sounding like he was trying to calm Hanbin down. Sounding like he thought that his idea would _help_.

The mere thought of the others becoming a pack without him, of them not _needing_ him sent tendrils of panic snaking around his neck, a heavy weight settling against his heart.

“ _Drop. It.”_ He didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but the only way he could speak around the tightness in his chest was to grit the words out from between clenched teeth, hands fisted inside the pocket of his hoodie.

The van grew silent, but all he could hear was the harsh beating of his heart and the even harsher echo of words in his head.

_We don’t need you. We don’t need you. We don’t need you._

He had no place in their pack. Not as their leader. Not as their Alpha.

Not as their Omega, even.

They didn’t want him as an Omega, they had made that clear. No one wanted him as an Omega. He was too soft-hearted for his father, a disgrace. Yet, he was too cold, too distant for the fans. They saw him as nothing more than what he tried to portray himself as, a head-strong leader.

They didn’t want him as an Omega, but he couldn’t give them what they needed as an Alpha.

No—Not needed. They didn’t need him. Yunhyeong was more than capable of being a Pack Alpha, or even Bobby. They didn’t need him.  

They didn’t need him as an Alpha.

They didn’t want him as an Omega.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Hanbin would describe Jinhwan as safe.

The eldest had joined the company after Hanbin had already been there for around two years, but was the first trainee that really attempted to be his friend. Jinhwan was about to turn 17 and had presented as a Beta almost a full year before then, so Hanbin wasn’t really sure why he wanted to hang out with his pimply 14-year-old self.

Shortly after, they were joined by another.

Hanbin didn’t quite know how to describe Bobby.

Bobby had come from the States, all jumbled Korean and nervous laughter. The first few times the other had spoken to him, Bobby had addressed Hanbin formally, thinking that the native Korean was actually older than him.

After finding out that Hanbin was almost a full year younger than him, Bobby had taken to treating him in the same way Hanbin imagined one would treat a pesky younger brother. Annoyed, but often endeared.

A few months later, December to be exact, Bobby had turned 16. No one was surprised when he ended up presenting as an Alpha a few weeks after his birthday. Bobby didn’t change much, sure he was a little bit louder, but he still treated Hanbin and Jinhwan the same.

It wasn’t until YG decided that Hanbin would be the leader that Bobby had started to act differently around him. Hanbin was not only younger than him, but also unpresented. It didn’t matter that Hanbin would most likely present as an Alpha, Bobby still didn’t want to submit to anyone a lower rank than he was.

Hanbin remembered one conversation they had in particular, it was right after Bobby had presented and they were discussing the newest Big Bang comeback when the topic had shifted to G Dragon.

“Man, I just don’t understand how YG could let an Omega lead the group. G Dragon is a fucking cool guy and everything, but Omegas just don’t do that. I can’t imagine how the other four are willing to follow him, it’s just fucking wrong and unnatural, dude. Taeyang should’ve been the leader,” Bobby had said.

Hanbin wasn’t really sure as to why that had stung so much, considering he wasn’t an Omega—wasn’t _anything_ , yet—but all he could bring himself to do was just nod in agreement.

April of the next year had brought even more changes. Two more trainees had joined their trio, with Hanbin still the leader. Yunhyeong was 17, and probably the most chill Alpha Hanbin had ever met. Bobby wasn’t much of a fan at first, not only was there another Alpha in the group, but an older one. The other trainee was the youngest of them all, yet somehow the tallest, even if he had just turned 15. Junhoe was still unpresented, but you could tell both of his parents were Alphas just in the way he acted and his build.

October had come and passed, along with Hanbin’s 16th birthday, and he still had yet to present. It wasn’t all that uncommon to present a few weeks before or after you come of age, so Hanbin wasn’t too concerned with being a little late. November had brought another trainee named Donghyuk, an early bloomer that had recently presented as a Beta, into their group. Donghyuk was a quiet kid at first, but the more time the younger spent around Bobby, the more open he became with them.

The six of them continued to work and train together as a group, with Hanbin still acting as the leader, by the time YG had announced his plans to all of the trainees of having a survival show take place the next month. The CEO hadn’t announced which trainees would be participating in the show that April, giving the groups one final monthly evaluation.

Hanbin had cracked down on the others. This was their chance to finally make it to debut, and he was doing everything in his power to get them whipped into shape before the upcoming evaluation.

 _But of course,_ Hanbin ended up going into the first stages of his presentation just before the evaluation, leaving his team to go through the stage without him while he went home to go through his cycle. The timing was absolutely awful, but at least he’d finally present as an Alpha.

-

By the time Hanbin had made it home, he was only in the early stages of his rut, so his head was still pretty clear. He was excited to see his parents, as well as his baby sister, even if it meant a week of constantly being horny and missing a ridiculously important event.

His mother had been equally excited for him to be home, even if it was just for a week. She never outright said it, but Hanbin knew that she was worried that something was wrong with his hormone balance. There was a small percent of the population that stayed unpresented, which could cause problems later in life. Hanbin was just happy that his hormones were perfectly normal, and he couldn’t wait for people to stop talking down on him because he hadn’t presented yet.   

He still remembered the look on his father’s face when it became obvious what his sub-gender was.

The first tell was his scent. As his cycle progressed, his scentlessness began shifting into a soft cinnamon. Cinnamon wasn’t exactly an unusual smell for an Alpha, but it still wasn’t all that common (even rarer for a Beta, and only a bit more common for an Omega). He figured he would just have a slightly more unique scent for an Alpha. It wasn’t until his mother had commented on the underlying sweetness that was slowly bleeding into his scent that Hanbin started to question his dynamic. Once the first full day had passed, Hanbin had spiked a fever, and his mother had immediately known what was wrong.

She had sat him down and explained how first heats tended to go. Hanbin wasn’t quite able to connect the dots, so his mother had to outright tell him what was happening.

He was presenting as an Omega.

His _heat_ was horrible. It was rather short, only three days, but it was _Hell_. It was so embarrassing, too. The fact that his mother had been there to witness him all _needy_ and _strung out_ just because his body wanted to be mated. It felt so _wrong_ , it felt like his body was betraying him.

Other than the horror that was his heat, this caused so many new problems to arise. Omegas didn’t _lead_. They were submissive and demure, they were followers. Sure, YG had let G Dragon be the leader of Big Bang, but Hanbin was still convinced that the older Omega was some sort of god or another kind of unearthly being.

Plus, G Dragon _still_ received tons of backlash on the issue. Hanbin wasn’t sure he could deal with that much hate and be able to just ignore it.

Then there was his own group. Bobby had already made his views on the matter pretty clear, which, as the person Hanbin admired the most in their group, had really hurt. Yunhyeong may not care, but that ultimately would cause the other to be the Alpha of the group. Would he even want that pressure? He didn’t even what to think about how Junhoe would react, considering the youngest came from a predominately Alpha family.

But, the biggest problem was his father.

He was _not_ pleased, to say the least. Hanbin had just finished his heat when his father had come home from a business trip. He was nervous about what his father would say, but he wasn’t quite expecting the reaction that he did get.

As soon as the new scent had been identified as him, Hanbin’s father had started screaming at both him and his mother, as if it was their fault, completely disregarding the presence of Hanbyul in the room.

Hanbin was already the family disappointment for dropping out of school to pursue music, but now he presents as an _Omega?_ Male Omegas were the least common of the gender and sub-gender match ups, and also the most looked down on. Men weren’t supposed to be submissive, they were meant to be dominant and protect their families. Plus, male Omegas could rarely conceive, making most of them useless for breeding purposes.

His father had demanded that Hanbin immediately go on suppressants, as he would not allow his name to be soiled by his mistake of a son. His mother argued against the idea, suppressants were known to have some pretty negative side-effects, even if they worked well. She was no match for his father, though, and soon enough Hanbin was prescribed the strongest medical-grade suppressants that money could buy, along with a plethora of other items. There was a new hormone blocker being tested at the time, one that would work to emulate Alpha pheromones. His father had, again, ignored all warnings from the doctors, signed the paperwork and cut a check right there.

Maybe it was for the best, hiding what he was. The suppressants and blockers wouldn't completely rid him of his basic Omega instincts, but he was a good actor. He’d be fine.

A week later, Hanbin had come back to the news of their group having been chosen, as well as the fact that Junhoe had presented right after the showcase.

The others had been curious as to why he’d been out for over two weeks, but Hanbin just made up some story about a sick relative. Everyone had bought his lie, _both of them,_ and then they were congratulating the two newest Alphas in the group.

Bobby had even treated him to lunch, throwing out a “ _Thank God you didn’t present as an Omega, right?”_ and they both had laughed. Hanbin felt sick.

He knew that things were going to be difficult from here on. Not only was he the only Omega in the group, but he was going to be constantly surrounded by three Alphas. Plus, he had to _lead_ them. He had no idea how this would even work, considering the others most likely wouldn’t bother keeping the Alpha pheromones down, and he had no idea of the effect they would have on him.

When Minho-hyung’s group had been announced as the other team, Hanbin became nervous. They would be going against five of their closest friends in the company, and only one team would make it to debut. He knew how bad their friends wanted to win, but he had to put the success of his team first. It was a competition, after all, and he didn’t need to be an Alpha to have a competitive streak wider than the Han River.

As the days went by, Hanbin was finding it surprisingly easy to assume the role of an Alpha. He had always been a take-charge kind of person, and he was good at adapting to situations. He quickly learned the best ways to lead the others. Jinhwan was more of a follower by nature, and Yunhyeong preferred to stay out of the way when it came to being in charge. Donghyuk liked constant feedback, be it positive or negative, to feel like he was improving.

The last two, however, were proving to be the hardest to work with. Bobby had never been much of a leader, but he wasn’t a follower either. Hanbin had learned early on that Bobby preferred to make his own rules. Junhoe, on the other hand, still wasn’t used to his instincts, causing him to argue with Hanbin over everything, even if he was the youngest of the group.

Hanbin wasn’t worried, though. He knew they would get over it sooner or later. Bobby would get used to a group dynamic, and Junhoe would learn to control his instincts.

Filming for WIN had gone by in a blur.

At first, they had been the leading team. Challenge after challenge had ended with Team B being the praised team in terms of skill, yet Team A was consistently winning the popular vote.

Mid-way through the competition, Minho had gotten hurt. YG had decided to make Seungyoon the leader of Team A, and everyone had been shocked by the choice. Maybe it was the fact the Seungyoon was an Omega, but that hadn’t stopped the CEO before. Hanbin thought it had more to do with the fact that Seungyoon didn’t _act_ like a leader. He was naturally one of the quieter members, but he was determined and hard-working, and that’s all he really needed.

The audience had raved over the development. Team A were the underdogs of the show, and viewers found them more personable, more likable.

Hanbin knew that most of that was his fault. He knew he came off as too harsh, too demanding to the audience. His leadership was questioned a lot during that time. Even if they had the stronger group, they wouldn’t get anywhere without the viewers’ support.

The vulnerability that everyone had been dying to see from him didn’t come until their last challenge, but by then it had been too late.

Hanbin had actually been in heat, but the suppressants stopped almost everything but the painful cramping and sensitivity to pheromones. It was easy to work through that, though, with everything that was happening at that time. He would never forget what it felt like, standing there in front of that crowd, baring his soul for all of them to see. He remembered the music cutting and all he could think about was how far they had come, how hard they had worked, and he couldn’t let that go to waste. When he finally opened his eyes, the first face he had noticed was his mother’s. Like most of the crowd, she had tears in her eyes, but also so much _pride_. It didn’t matter that his father wasn’t there, Hanbin had a mother that would never stop loving him.

Except he didn’t deserve that pride, or any of their support, because he had failed at the one thing he had needed to do.

Team A had been announced as WINNER and the competition was over.

_They lost._

The first few months following WIN had been hard on all of them. They weren’t quite sure what the future of their group would be. Were they going to be disbanded like YG had said? The days all started running together to Hanbin, spending countless hours in the studio, writing music that would never be heard. He had such a bleak outlook on life, everything he had done felt _meaningless_. He knew the others resented him for what had happened, and he didn’t blame them. He wasn’t a good leader, too harsh and unforgiving, _selfish_. He had heard time and time again what others thought of him.

He agreed with most of it.

 

* * *

* * *

 

It was tense, the atmosphere.

It was tense, and it was all his fault.

Hanbin _knew_ that he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret forever, but had tried anyway.

After exiting the van, he had immediately headed for his room, not waiting for the others to file out before he was already through the building doors.

Making his way into his bedroom, he locked the door and stripped off the jeans he had been wearing, balling them up and throwing them in the direction of his hamper. He heard them hit the floor, instead, and he turned to see them lying about a foot away from the target. Not being able to stomach the idea of his room being in any sort of disarray, he had instantly moved to pick them up, placing them into the basket and sighing at the amount of laundry piled into it.

His head hurt.

Turning on his bedside lamp, he walked back towards the doorway to flick the overhead light off, bathing the room in a soft yellow.

His heart hurt.

But, he knew there was no switch he could flip to help that.

Hanbin pulled back the covers on his bed, climbing in. It was still pretty early, but he felt _exhausted_. He knew that he should probably put more effort into working out again, but even the thought of standing up made him dizzy. Considering his dynamic, it was harder for him to keep muscle mass, which often led to him working out too much to try and overcompensate. Recently, however, he had been too drained to even think about going through his normal routine, and it was starting to show. Both his shoulders and waist had slimmed down, his abs were barely visible, and a stylist had _praised_ him for dropping a size today.

This was all so fucked.

He turned over, burying himself even further into his blankets. He could hear Yunhyeong and Chanwoo in the kitchen, probably working on dinner, but he was too tired to care. He would just pick up something tomorrow morning before he went to the studio, or maybe he should spend some time in the practice room. His dancing was starting to feel sloppy, and he couldn’t let that happen.

He missed when he could crawl into Jinhwan or Bobby’s beds, missed being able to let go of some of the pressure, missed when mindless touches weren’t overthought.

When Bobby had snapped at him during that live, Hanbin had honestly felt his heart break. Well, maybe snapped wasn’t the right word. Bobby had laughed it off afterword, like it was just some _joke_ , and he had too. After that day, he had tried to limit how much he touched the older, which was easier said than done. He hadn’t realized just how often he would lean his head on Bobby’s shoulder, or play with the other’s hands. It had gotten to the point where he just stopped sitting next to the older rapper. At first, Hanbin had latched on to Yunhyeong, but it didn’t take much for the oldest Alpha to complain about his clinginess, and he backed off again.

The worst part, though, was watching Bobby with the others. He had no problem pulling Jinhwan into a backhug or tossing an arm over Donghyuk’s shoulders, he was even comfortable enough to flop against Yunhyeong multiple times when they were tired.

What made him so different?

He waited to fall asleep for what felt like hours, but was really only a few minutes, before the exhaustion finally caught up with him, head filled with cotton and bones filled with lead.

A sense of dread settled into his chest, and he couldn’t help but feel like things were about to go horribly wrong soon.

He just hoped the fallout wouldn’t leave him too broken.

Maybe it would just kill him.

That might hurt less.


	2. But I'm scared my heart will leave too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s funny, how life seemed to run in parallels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from Don’t Let Me Know by iKON
> 
> Also, about what Bobby said last chapter. Think about a 16-year-old, brand new alpha. Submitting to an omega would go against every instinct you had. That would probably feel pretty heckin unnatural
> 
> I wrote almost all of this between the hours of 2-7 AM last night (this morning?)
> 
> So I'm sorry it s u c k s
> 
> Yeet

Waking up was not a pleasant experience.

There was a throbbing pain at the base of his spine and an uncomfortable tightness in his muscles that was making his head swim in a very disorientating way.

 _Fuck._ He was exhausted, still. Hanbin hadn’t even made it through the week yet, but he felt like he was running on empty. That was one of the biggest downsides to the suppressants he was on, they always made him so _tired._ He learned to work through the dull ache that lingered when he was technically in heat, but the low fever and sensitivity were slightly harder to ignore.

He needed to get up.

A glance at his phone showed that it was just past 5 in the morning. He didn’t actually have to be anywhere today, it being an unofficial writing day for him.

Well, he was already awake now. Might as well do something productive with himself.

Sitting up took far too much energy. Hanbin was starting to get slightly worried. He sat at the edge of his bed, digging through his nightstand for the little case that he kept his suppressants in. Although considering he was pretty anal about how he kept his room, it was less _digging_ and more grabbing it from where he kept it hidden under random papers.

When he popped open the case, the reason the room felt so hot and the faint nausea that was lingering made sense.

Heats usually happened every three months, suppressants tended to regulate them enough to be able to predict the week it would happen. Most suppressants were pretty weak, and you weren’t meant to take them every day, just when you absolutely needed to. Within the past decade, however, more and more people were using them daily, Hanbin being one of them.

And his weren’t the weak ones, either, his heat always hit on the exact day the suppressants predicted. That was the only good thing about them.

The worst side effect was the anxiety. He wasn’t sure why, but ever since he started taking them, he always felt paranoid (Or, if it wasn’t the anxiety, it was a _numb_ feeling where everything seemed so far away, like he was running on auto-pilot). It seemed to worsen the longer he’s been taking them, but he was more or less used to it by now.

He popped the pill out of the foil, dry swallowing it like he has almost every day for the past 6 years, and counted how many days until his heat was meant to hit.

He hoped it would wait until after their award show performance coming up.

_One, two, three, four, five, six._

Six.

Good enough.

They had been invited to perform as a guest for some smaller award show in Japan—e wasn’t really filled in on all of the details, and truthfully? He didn’t care.

They were set to fly out tomorrow, perform the next day, and have a few days off to sightsee before flying back.

Depending on how many days they stayed, there was a chance he would be in the beginning stage of his heat during the plane ride home. It was more of an inconvenience than a problem—there would be no actual heat, it was just highly uncomfortable dealing with plane rides when you were constantly cramping and hot, but he could handle it. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before.

The pull in his muscles eased up enough for him to at least stand up without wanting to puke, so he grabbed a few things before going into the bathroom to shower.

-

Hanbin rolled his shoulders as he walked into the living room. The heat from the shower had helped a lot, as well as the pill kicking in. He still packed a few muscle relaxers into his bag, just in case. He planned on spending a few hours in the practice room, just to sharpen up his dancing.

Walking into the kitchen to grab his water bottle from one of the cabinets, he rinsed it out and dried it off again before putting it away in his bag.

“Oh, Hanbin.”

When he looked up, Yunhyeong was standing in the entrance of the kitchen, slippers on and bed-head showing that the older had probably just woken up. “Uh. Good morning, hyung.” He still felt a little upset about what the Alpha had said yesterday, even though he knew that Yunhyeong (probably) hadn’t meant it like that. “Don’t forget you guys have vocal practice at 8, and that Bobby needs to see Teddy in—”

“Hanbinnie,” Yunhyeong cut him off, placing a hand on Hanbin’s shoulder, “I know. I already texted everyone else last night,” The vocalist gave him a smile, “Don’t worry about it.”

Hanbin blinked, “Oh. Okay, uh,” He shuffled away from the hand that was uncomfortably close to the scent gland on his neck. “I’m just gonna head to the practice room then.”

 _Of course_ , Yunhyeong knew and had told everyone while Hanbin was throwing a pity party in his bedroom.

Just as Hanbin was walking past him, Yunhyeong answered, “Just don’t overdo it, alright?” Hanbin gave him a half-hearted salute before walking out the door.

Yunhyeong would have made a good leader.

 

* * *

 

_“Fuck.”_

The pain was starting to pick up again, and this time it was even worse than when he woke up. Every time he moved it felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing him in the kidneys.

It’s never this _bad_. Hanbin didn’t know why it hurt so much, he still had a week before his heat was meant to hit, and even then, the suppressants kept it from being so _obnoxious._

The room was too hot.

He stumbled over to where he threw his bag, leaning against the mirror as he slid down, stretching his legs out in front of him. There were the pain killers he had stashed in there, as well as the muscle relaxers. He opted for the former, as the muscle relaxers made it feel like his head was filled with cotton and put a nasty taste in his mouth.

Probably taking more than he should, Hanbin threw back the pills, downing the rest of his water with them.

This was worrying. He hadn’t even been dancing for two hours, yet it felt like he’s been going at it for a week straight.

Hanbin groaned, shutting his eyes and letting his head fall back against the cool mirror. Once he felt less like roadkill, he’d head back to the dorms and rest.

But, resting meant not being useful.

Maybe he’ll just head to his studio, then?

He wouldn’t be doing anything physical, so it was still kind of resting.

“ _Woah_ , dude. You good?”

He groaned again, could he not get a fucking break? Why was everyone on his _ass_ today.

“Seriously man, you look like shit.” The voice was closer, sneakers padding across the room.

He knew that voice.

“What do you want, Minho-hyung?” Hanbin opened his eyes to glare at the older Alpha, “Bobby should be with Teddy-hyung right now, so you’ll have to wait to bother him.”

Minho sat down in front of him, crossing his legs, “Just passing by. Seunghoon-hyung and I are waiting for Jinwoo-hyung and Yoonie to finish with the vocal coach. But—” His cut himself off, looking down at his phone when it _ping_ ed, “Nevermind—Yoon just asked what room we were in. He says he misses his favorite dongsaeng,” Minho let out a laugh, but it quickly turned into a grimace. “He’s probably gonna hyung-out on you.”

“Do I really look that bad?” Hanbin asked. He felt pretty bad, so he probably looked even worse.

“Dude, the entire room smells like my grandmother’s house at Christmas time. Hell, I could smell it out in the hallway.” Minho raised his eyebrow at him, “Did you not notice that you’re leaking pheromones like crazy?”

Hanbin stilled. Could Minho smell him through the suppressants? Or was he smelling his scent with the Alpha pheromones?

Considering he hadn’t asked any Omega-related questions, Hanbin really hoped it was the latter.

A knock on the door echoed through the room as Seungyoon peaked his head in, “Hey, Bin.” He walked in, scrunching his nose up as he entered the room, “I don’t know how you Alphas can stand to smell the way you do. I feel like I’m being punched in the face by a snickerdoodle.”

As Seungyoon sat down, both Seunghoon and Jinwoo walked in, hand-in-hand, greeting Hanbin in a much less vocal manner.

Hanbin rolled his eyes, “It’s nice to see you too, Seungyoon-hyung,” he said, sarcastically. “And it’s _actually_ nice to see you guys,” nodding at the eldest two.

Seungyoon took a seat between him and Minho, not so subtly leaning closer to Hanbin. He raised the back of his hand against Hanbin’s forehead, the youngest not even bothering to pull away. “You’ve got a pretty high fever. What are you doing out? You should be at home resting.”

Hanbin looked toward Minho and Seunghoon for help, but the older rappers just laughed at him.

“It’s because he’s the maknae,” Minho explained, “You’re awakening his hyung instincts and- Yoon?”

Hanbin looked back at the Omega, Seungyoon had gotten suspiciously quiet while Minho was talking, and now he was just staring at Hanbin.

“Uh, Seungyoon-hyung? What’s wro—”

“You’re on suppressants.”

Hanbin froze. Seungyoon hadn’t asked, it was a statement. “Wh- _What_? I—” How could he have known?

“Hanbin, calm down.” Seungyoon had moved closer to him, and through his tunneling vision, Hanbin saw the other three backing away from them. He needed the space, everything felt like it was closing in, and if it weren’t for the calming scent Seungyoon was releasing, he would have already succumbed to the panic. The Omega was kneeling in front of him, hands coming up to gently rest along Hanbin’s jaw, “You’re going to make yourself sick at this rate. Whatever you’re on, you _need_ to stop.”

He was barely registering what the other was saying, couldn’t think past the sheer disbelief that someone has seen through it, “H-How did—?”

“I used to be on them, too. A few years back. I ended up in the hospital because I accidentally overdosed. They fucked up my body pretty bad. I can’t conceive anymore, Hanbin,” Seungyoon’s voice cracked, “Your scent was too... _chemical_ to be natural.” He sat back on his heels, pulling his hands away to wipe at his own eyes. “Not to mention too sweet. You smell like a goddamn Cinnabon.”

Was it that easy to tell? Or did Seungyoon only notice because he knew what it was like?

 _Fuck._ Four people knew. Four people that he didn’t want to know. What if the others found out?

“No-No no no _no._ You can’t— you can’t tell any of the others. They can’t _know_ , you have to promise you won’t tell them—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Seungyoon cooed, “Look at me.”

As some point, Hanbin had started looking at the ground. Probably around the same time he had started pulling at his hair.

“If you don’t want me to tell them, I need to know that _you_ will. This isn’t something you can ignore. You also need to get off whatever suppressants you’re taking. It seems like your body is building up a tolerance to them, and that’s why you’re feeling so bad. You probably won’t go through this heat, but _please_ stop taking them after this one before you end up in the hospital.”

He couldn’t do that. His father would kill him.

Oh fuck.

A whole new wave of desperation hit him. _His father._ How could he possibly forget about his father? Last time he had gone home to ride out a heat there had been almost three years ago, at this point. His father had come home and beat the _shit_ out of him, he couldn’t go through that _again_. If this went public, would he even be able to come home anymore? Oh god. What about his mother? What about _Hanbyul_?

And then, what would everyone else think? If he managed to switch to lower grade suppressants, he could probably keep it from the public, but the other six would find out.

What would he even _tell_ them? _Oh, hey guys. I’ve been lying to you all for the past six years. Jokes on you, but you’ve been following an Omega this whole time. Funny, right?_

Not funny.

What if they wanted to kick him out of the group? Would they be upset enough to do that? At the very least, they’d probably make him step down as the leader. None of them would listen to him anymore, and that’s even if they decided to _keep_ him. Which they _won’t._

_“ —he dropping?” _

_“I don’t —so.” _

_Sandalwood?_

“—back with us?”

Hanbin snapped his head up to look at Seungyoon, but ended up knocking into something, making whatever was behind him curse and causing his own teeth to rattle. “ _Wha_?” His eyes started focusing and the haziness in his head was starting to clear.

Seungyoon looked relieved, “Oh, thank god. I thought you were going to drop,” he breathed out a sigh, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

His brain was still lagging slightly, but his body felt like he was submerged in cool water. It was calming. Waves of _relief_ gently crashed into him, almost as if he were in the ocean.

“Looks like he might have a similar chemical structure to you, Yoonie,” came a soft voice next to his ear. The noise had shocked him, causing him to jump again and the arms around his waist to tighten.

He turned his head to see Seunghoon sitting behind him, long legs caging his own and arms drawn across his stomach.

Hanbin wanted to get out of the hold but the pain in his _everything_ had all but left. He felt his tense muscles go lax as he dropped his head back against the alpha’s shoulder.

“I think you may be right, hyung,” Seungyoon hummed, fingers swiping through Hanbin’s hair. “Omegas can react differently to the scents of Alpha. Some Alphas will be more soothing, especially during pre-heat, while others can act as a catalyst and cause the heat to come on even quicker.”

He supposed that was why Bobby and Junhoe’s touch always caused the cramping to worsen, whereas Yunhyeong unknowingly soothed it.

His thoughts were interrupted by a yawn. He was _exhausted,_ and each second he spent wrapped in Seunghoon’s arms caused his eyelids to feel heavier and heavier.

“Bin-ah, where is everyone else?”

He barely had enough energy to talk, he hoped the mumbled _vocal practice_ was good enough for the older Omega because that was the best he could do before his eyes slipped shut for good.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Hanbin was _pissed._

They had gotten a second chance at debut, another survival show.

Mix & Match.

Except, this new show meant three new trainees.

Now, that wasn’t why he was _currently_ wanting to bash his skull against cement—but he was still pretty annoyed about that.

 _No._ The current reason was one Goo Junhoe.

It seemed like the younger Alpha was going out of his way to do the _opposite_ of what Hanbin would ask.

Bobby, who was thankfully settling into this whole _team_ thing incredibly well, had told him that he just needed to “out alpha” Junhoe, show him who was boss.

Great plan, but Hanbin wasn’t exactly the textbook definition of an Alpha.

He wasn’t exactly an Alpha _at all._

Plus, Junhoe happened to have ridiculously strong _everything —_pheromones, Alpha commands, body, you name it. Hanbin supposed it made sense, the boy was the shining example of a pure Alpha, after all.

Bobby had suggested trying to use an Alpha command to get him to “roll-over” for him, but that idea was off the table. Yunhyeong had told him to simply sit down and talk with the younger.

Which led to the current conversation.

“Why can’t you just tell me _why_ you won’t just _listen to me_?”

“I already fucking told you why.”

Hanbin was actually to the point of pulling at his hair in frustration, “NO. You. _Haven’t_.”

“I _just_ said that I don’t _listen_ to you because your orders- _Piss. Me. Off._ ” Junhoe was practically snarling at him. The sharp scent of burnt leather was filling the room, and it was causing Hanbin’s eyes to water.

_Calm down. Be rational. Take a deep breath. Let it go —_

“Now can you just fucking leave before your smell makes me _actually_ kill myself?”

_Fuck. This._

“What the FUCK is _WRONG_ with you?!” Hanbin walked up to the younger, practically getting in Junhoe’s face. This close, the angry alpha pheromones were much stronger. He could feel the way his body automatically wanted to submit, but he _couldn’t_ do that. He grit his teeth, his fists clenched so tight he could feel his nails cutting into his palms. “You’ve never ONCE acted against me, but ever since you’ve presented, that’s all you’ve been FUCKING DOING. _I’M_ _THE_ _LEADER._ ” He was panting by the end of it, having given up on Yunhyeong’s plan of _calmly talking it out_.

Junhoe pushed Hanbin away from him, causing the shorter to stumble back into the mirror. The shove had stunned him, thoughts of _angryalphamyfaultbadomegabadomegabadomega_ taking over his head.

The younger scoffed at Hanbin’s unwilling back-down, “Aren’t you supposed to be an Alpha? Stop being a little _bitch_ about everything.” Junhoe’s red eyes narrowed. There was an intensity in his voice that caused Hanbin’s throat to close up.

Speaking around the lump that had formed, he focused on keeping his voice careful, even if he wasn’t able to clear the anger from his tone, “ _What do you mean?”_

Junhoe pushed him back again, this time keeping his hand fisted into Hanbin’s shirt, “Stop trying to be something you _aren’t_ ,” he snarled, “It’s _pathetic._ ”

His skin was crawling. He could feel it burning in all of the places Junhoe was even slightly close to touching. Hanbin felt like he couldn’t _breathe_. Not only was the scent of rage coming off of the younger suffocating, but his chest was tightening up with _panic_. Going against his every instinct to just _submitsubmitsubmit,_ he used as much strength as he could muster to push Junhoe’s hand away, growling out, “Get your fucking hands _off_ of me!”

This just outraged the other even more. “I’LL FUCKING LISTEN WHEN YOU BECOME A BETTER ALPHA,” Junhoe screamed at him, grabbing at the collar of his shirt again and practically lifting him off the floor.

_Bad Omega bad Omega bad Omega ba —_

“Now leave me _ALONE_.” With one final shove, Junhoe had knocked Hanbin back into the mirror, harder this time, forcing the air out of his lungs, before he turned around an stalked away.

“Get back h—”

“Just fucking **_SHUT UP_ ** AND **_SIT DOWN!_** ”

Hanbin barely registered the door slamming shut, but all of a sudden it felt like all of the air was gone from the room. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, _hard_. It was almost like Junhoe was still there and had pushed him down himself.

The pure amount of _panicsubmitpaniclistenpanicpanicpanic_ coursing through his veins was causing his entire body to shake. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t even open his mouth. _Shut up shut up shut up shut up — _He could feel his vision going black around the edges, could feel his hands pressing against his chest, he wished he could crush his ribcage and make his lungs feel less _trapped_.

“Hey? I heard screami—  _Oh my god_.”

Hanbin looked up to see Hongseok fall to his knees in front of him. He wanted to yell out to the other, tell him to _get away_ , to _leave_ , to _make it stop_.

But he couldn’t do any of that.

_Shutupshutupshutupshutup._

“Hanbin? What’s wrong?” Hongseok’s voice was filled with panic, “What’s going on?” He brought his hands up to the younger’s shoulders.

Hanbin _flinched_ back away from the beta, knocking his head against the wall.

_Submitsubmitsubmit._

He bared his neck, closing his eyes as a few tears slipped out. He wanted to cry out, to _scream_ but he wasn’t allowed to. He still couldn’t _breathe_ and everything was _burning_ and he had disobeyed an Alpha. That’s why he was being _punished_ , because was a bad omega and he deserved this. _He couldn’t fucking breathe —_

“Hanbin! **_Snap out of it. You don’t need to listen anymore.”_ **

It felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks. He pitched sideways with a choked off gag, hands hitting the wood to hold himself up as he started coughing.

He felt Hongseok’s hand pressing right between his shoulder blades. The mere touch caused his arms to give out, sending him falling face-first into the ground, but he was stopped by a pair of thin arms hooking around his stomach, gently pulling him back. Unlike Junhoe’s, the Alpha’s scent was _soothing_ the pain in his chest.

Wait—

“You-you’re an Alpha?” He choked the words out before falling into another coughing fit. The residual _shutupshutupshutup_ that was still lingering in his head causing his throat to tighten up once again.

Hongseok rubbed his back, “Yeah. And you’re not.”

 _Nonono._ Hanbin started thrashing in the older’s arms, he needed to _get away_. He couldn’t have anyone find out, how did he find _out?_

“ _Calm down, calm down, you’re okay_ ,” Hongseok rumbled near his ear, Hanbin could feel the words vibrating through his chest as he relaxed against the singer.

“ _How —_”

“How did I know?” Hongseok cut him off. “My father used to use Alpha commands on my mom a lot, I learned to recognize it pretty quick.”

Hanbin can’t muster up enough energy to do much other than nod against the sharp collarbone his face was pressed against. His whole body was tingling and he could still feel Junhoe’s hands on him.

“C’mon. Let’s go back. The others are out getting food right now, only Jinhwan is there and he’s sleeping off his cold.”

He felt himself being lifted up before his vision blacked out.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Hanbin had later found out that Junhoe’s rut had started, and the aggression had been triggered by the scent of an Omega in heat in the building, and the pheromone emulator Hanbin used smelled like a threat. That was why he was so violent that day.

That didn’t stop the fire that rippled across his skin every time Junhoe touched him, or the tightness in his chest every time he heard the other’s voice that stuck around for _weeks_ after the incident.

It had been a long time since then, and Junhoe had calmed down after making it through to debut. Hanbin thought that a little bit of that could be due to the addition of their current youngest, Chanwoo.

After Hongseok had found out, Hanbin had made the other swear that he wouldn’t say anything, to which he complied. He had become almost a confidante of sorts, but Hanbin had still tried to avoid getting too close. He knew Hongseok wouldn’t be chosen, they both knew.

“I think you’ve imprinted on Chanwoo,” Hongseok had told him, it was a rare day of just the two of them running through the choreography.

Hanbin had stopped dancing to look at the vocalist, “What do you mean?”

“Your Omega seems to have taken a liking to the kid.” He didn’t bother to stop dancing, even with Hanbin standing and gaping at him. “For your sake, I hope he gets picked. I know I don’t fit that well with all of you, but this is still my chance to get my name out there. Chanwoo-yah, though, I think he has the best chance.” He stumbled, letting out a groan, “Why do I keep flopping this part?”

Over the years, Hanbin had grown fiercely protective over the new youngest, even if he was just a year younger than Hanbin himself. He still kept in touch with Hongseok, occasionally, and he was glad to see that the singer had found a perfect fit with Pentagon.

Hanbin rubbed his eyes, hoping to clear the fog from his still sleep-addled brain. Waking up for the second time that day was much less painful than the first time, at least. He could still feel the panic lingering in his chest, just from knowing that Seungyoon and the rest of WINNER _knew_ about him.

He didn’t know what to do.

Seungyoon wanted him to tell the others, and Hanbin had no doubt that the older Omega would (gently) force him to tell them. He knew what he was doing could be dangerous. He had accepted that fact long ago.

But finding out that Seungyoon couldn’t carry anymore? He couldn’t imagine how bad that must have felt. The older was lucky enough to be apart of the small fraction of male Omegas that could actually conceive, just to have that ripped away from him.

Would the same thing happen to him? Or did it already happen?

No. He’s being stupid. He didn’t even know if _was_ fertile, let alone now. Now wasn’t the time to worry about having pups, anyway. He was at the height of his career.

Not to mention un-mated.

_Nope. Not the time to think about that._

Getting up from his bed, _again_ , Hanbin saw his phone laying on his bedside table—plugged in, probably thanks to one of the guys that brought him up.

 _Oh god._ Seunghoon had _carried_ him here.

Hanbin ran his hand down his face, groaning from the embarrassment.

He unlocked his phone to see a message from Yunhyeong saying they were going out for lunch after vocal practice and should be back before 1.

It was almost 2 PM now, so where were they?

He dialed Yunhyeong’s number, hearing it ring a few times before connecting.

_“Hanbin? I figured you’d still be asleep.”_

So they had stopped back here after vocal practice? “Uh. No, hyung. Hey, where—ah—where are you?” It sounded pretty loud over the line, he was pretty sure that was Junhoe ~~singing~~  screaming in the background.

_“Oh! I’m making sure that the other four are packing for the flight tomorrow. Did you pack?”_

No. “Yes.” Why did he feel so uncomfortable talking to Yunhyeong, suddenly? “Should I...come down there?”

_“It’s fine, Bin-ah. I’ve got it covered. Plus, Jinhwan-hyung isn’t in a very good mood right now, I would give him some space if I were you.”_

Was Jinan mad at him? “Why isn’t he in a good mood?...”

_“Hanbin, there are some...rumors going around because of that interview. Just give it time and it’ll clear up.”_

“Oh. Thanks. I’ll—uh. See you later.”

Hanbin didn’t even wait for Yunhyeong to echo his goodbye, instead, he hung up before immediately opening another app and clicking the search bar. Typing in his name and the name of the interview, he sat back down on his bed as he waited for the searches to pop up.

_“ —B.I of iKON withholding from bonding—” _

_“Will YG disband —” _

_“Netizens are outraged —” _

_“ —B.I gaining another place in the list of scandals in the industry?” _

_“iKON —Friends or Fame?” _

He kept scrolling through them, clicking links that seemed more incriminating than the last. Some of them were just down-right _stupid_ , but other’s were just _hurtful_.

It felt like he was an 18-year-old kid again, being crushed under the weight of his father’s mistakes.

Except this time, the fault could only be placed on him.

The phone slipped out of his grasp and hit the floor. He slouched forward, resting his head in his shaking hands.

Everything was falling about around him.

He couldn't let that happen.

If he came out and told the others that he wasn’t an Alpha, they’d be pissed knowing they were being led by an _Omega_.

 _But,_ maybe they’d be a little less upset if he were a Beta? He could admit to using alpha pheromone replicators to try and pass off as an Alpha, and his Beta-status was why he couldn’t form a pack bond.

He’d have to stay on the suppressants and scent neutralizers, but that was a small price to pay to not lose everything he loved.

He still had to pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment and shit and tell me how bad it was 
> 
>  
> 
> (Sorry that you have to put up with me Adrian. ily)
> 
> ((and @omghanbin im sorry i tease u all the time))  
> (((no im not)))


	3. Living in past memories is a helpless sense of loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin wanted to be needed.
> 
> Needed to be wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all wazappenin it's ya boi skinny penis
> 
> i'm sorry hi
> 
> title is from Goodbye Road - iKON. like plot twist they're all gonna be iKON songs.
> 
> anyway, enjoy this blah blah blah i'm sorry it's so long

Hanbin was trying his very hardest to curl up and just _die._

The time on his alarm flashed a bright 3:27 AM, the red light harsh in the pitch black room.

Sleep seemed to be avoiding him, which in and of itself wasn’t all that uncommon. Hanbin had a tendency to work for _days_ at a time, not giving himself a break until he either finished whatever he was working on or dropped trying. But when either of those two things happened, it usually led to him sleeping for 12 hours before getting up and repeating the process. If he was tired enough, he could fall asleep anywhere, or sleep through anything. Except sometimes, even with the bone-deep exhaustion that always seemed to follow him, sometimes he just _couldn’t_ sleep. He would usually work this restlessness off by exercising, or trying to write, which would end up _restarting_ the hellish cycle that his body seemed to only function by.

Although, he didn’t think exercising right now was the best option, not with him curled around a heating pad, biting down on the heel of his palm to avoid _sobbing_ from the pain. Over the course of the past few hours, the dull burn that had settled into his muscles had once again flared back up into a raging forest fire. Upon hearing Yunhyeong and Chanwoo come back late last night, Hanbin had not been able to even get up from where he was curled on the floor in front of his closet, wrapped in one of Bobby’s old hoodies that he had found stuffed between his own clothing. It was a faded navy with white English lettering on the front that he couldn’t care to translate, oversized and slightly stretched from use. He was equal parts disappointed and relieved that the fabric no longer carried the Alpha’s scent, knowing that it would cause his heat to spike, but at the same time wanting, _needing_ to drown himself in it. Despite its lack of scent, Hanbin had pulled the jumper on and almost immediately starting shaking. Being draped in the fabric was overwhelming him, but he couldn’t bring himself to take it off.

He had crawled into his bed, nested into the covers and _cried._

It was almost as if he were teasing himself. He wanted Bobby to be his Alpha—wanted Bobby to wrap him up in his clothing as if to claim him, douse him in smokey pine and never let him go.

But that wasn’t what Bobby wanted.

The older had mentioned on multiple occasions that his ideal girl was someone that could give as good as she could take, he wanted a _challenge_.

And sure, Hanbin knew how he acted as a leader—and sure, he knew that was all him, not just an act he put on for the cameras. He was passionate and determined and wouldn’t give up without a fight.

That was him as a leader, but that wasn’t all he was. 

He was also scared, and _tired,_ and he wanted to be held and promised everything would be _okay._ He wanted a pack that could separate him as an Omega from him as a leader. He didn’t want to be treated differently as a leader for how he acted as an Omega.

A _male_ Omega.

Even if the others decided to keep him, he doubted they would want him the same way he desired to be wanted.

He knew that all of the members of Big Bang considered themselves straight, but Seunghyun used to help Jiyong through his heats. The senior group had bonded, but not _mated —_Whereas in WINNER, Minho had said he was Seungyoon’s primary Alpha, but Seunghoon and Jinwoo both stepped in frequently as all four of them were both bonded _and_ mated.

Hanbin wanted _that._ He wanted to be able to let _go_ and just be taken care of sometimes, wanted to be able to curl up against the others when he was sad, wanted to be _marked_ and _claimed._

He wanted to be _theirs,_ and he wanted them to be _his._

He wanted to be the reason Donghyuk got caught shyly smiling down at his phone. He wanted to be the reason Junhoe’s shirts and hoodies mysteriously disappeared.

He wanted Jinhwan playing with his hair when he was stressed and just wanted to give up. He wanted Yunhyeong making his favorite foods when he was in heat.

He wanted to fold himself up on Chanwoo’s lap while the younger played his stupid games.

He wanted Bobby to accept him for what he was.

He wanted to be included in the scent-swapping and cuddling.

He wanted to _mean_ something to the others.

But life wasn’t fair, and Hanbin never really got what he wanted.

- 

“—bin. Hanbin!”

Hanbin’s eyes snapped open, chin slipping off of where it was propped on his palm. “Who’s dyin’?” His words were slurred slightly as he looked up to see who had woken him.

Yunhyeong stood in front of him, hands on his hips as he peered down at the rapper, “We have to head out soon. Hurry up and finish eating before we end up being late.”

He couldn’t tell if it was worry or disappointment that he saw in the elder’s eyes before he was alone in the kitchen again. Although he supposed the idea of it being _worry_ was rather stupid, Yunhyeong was just unhappy that Hanbin wasn’t taking on his responsibilities like he should be.

Last night was rough, and he was _feeling_ it.

When it had been time to get up and get ready, he had taken his suppressants and popped a muscle relaxer to calm the fire that was burning underneath his skin, waiting for it to kick in while he showered.

The pain had faded into a dull ache, but he was left with a hazy film over everything. Time felt like it was delayed by a few seconds, making his responses feel slow and his thoughts muddled.

Hanbin had barely finished packing (considering he was too busy crying last night) before Yunhyeong had collected him for breakfast. The hand placed on the small of his back had sent a chill running down his spine, the spot tingling long after the Alpha had moved away from him.

Speaking of Yunhyeong, what little appetite he had was gone. The look on the singer’s face was seared into his mind every time Hanbin closed his eyes.

Which, considering how tired he was, ended up being pretty often.

-

The next time Hanbin had full awareness was just as iKON was boarding the plane to Tokyo.

He remembered falling asleep during the van ride to the airport, but his dreams had been filled with angered words and disgusted glares. He woke up a few minutes before arriving, feeling nauseous and shaky, surrounded by the scents of six other people that he was _convinced_ hated him just moments ago. The remnants of the fear and panic that stayed weighing down his heart had stopped him from talking with the others for the rest of the drive—Not that many words had been exchanged, considering they all seemed to be giving him the cold shoulder, but all of the things that had been said were laced with barely-concealed annoyance.

Time continued to pass by in a conflicting mix of numbness and agony. He had stayed with the staff during the check-in, but he couldn’t even recall passing through security.

Right as he had taken his seat on the plane, Hanbin had finally felt his shoulders drop. He was pretty sure that he had gotten the seat that was in a separate aisle from the rest, and only next to their manager, meaning no annoyed scents to cause him to want to vomit any more than he already did.

He could handle that. He just wanted to be able to catch a nap during the 3-hour flight, or at the very least _relax._

Just as he was searching through his bag for his bottle of pain pills, a body dropped into the seat next to him. Hanbin didn’t bother looking, he knew it was just their manager. If he asked about the pills, he’d just claim a headache. Then, he could easily get away with not talking and hopefully just _sleep_ until they landed.

The crisp scent of _ginger_ and  _comfort_  hit him.

Hanbin stilled in his search, looking to his right to see the person sitting next to him was _not,_ in fact, their manager.

“We need to talk.”

Hanbin most definitely did _not_ want to talk.

Ignoring his lack of response, Yunhyeong continued, “Look, Hanbin. I know that forming this bond is a really _big_ deal _,_ but you and I both know that we’re ready. It’s not fair to everyone if you continue shrugging us off and always keep us in the dark. We never know what you’re thinking, it’s impossible to read you through your scent,” the Alpha said lightly, bringing his palm to rest on Hanbin’s leg. “If you honestly don’t feel like we should become a pack, _please_ just tell me why.”

Maybe it was hearing the note of desperation in the Alpha’s voice, or maybe it was the warm hand that was pressed against his thigh, but Hanbin had just wanted to let _everything_ go.

Yunhyeong had the most comforting presence when he was stressed, his scent was rich and woody, spicy with just the right amount of sweet to make him want to drop his guard.

(Yunhyeong’s scent relaxed him, whereas Bobby’s scent made him feel _safe_ and protected, and Junhoe’s made him feel like play-fighting and like he wanted to _tease_ the younger, almost.)

Hanbin slouched further back into his seat. The Alpha sitting in such close proximity was dulling the ache, but it was also making the exhaustion harder to fight. His eyes slipped shut and he felt Yunhyeong guide his head down to rest on the elder's shoulder.  

(It reminded Hanbin of the time they were filming Bobby’s episode of iKON TV. He had been mid-heat that day, and he was achy and tired and _really_ didn’t want to be there. Thankfully, though, being seated next to Yunhyeong in the van meant he could press himself against the vocalist and make the pain _go away,_ even if just for that short ride.)

“Please, Hanbin. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

The bitterness that tinged the calming scent almost caused Hanbin to whine, but he had clenched his jaw just in time to cut it off.

_“I’m worried about you.”_

The words were whispered into his hair, a quiet admission that Hanbin wasn’t expecting. The desire to spill everything had doubled, _tripled._ He didn’t want to be the reason Yunhyeong was anything other than happy, the thought made his heart clench and caused his throat to close. He was on the verge of tears, but he knew that he didn’t even have enough energy to cry.

He needed to tell him. Hanbin needed to tell Yunhyeong that he wasn’t an Alpha and he had been lying to them about it for almost the entire time they’ve known him.

But he was so _scared._

It wasn’t until the wave of _calmcalmcalmcalmcalm_ rushed through his veins like cold water that Hanbin realized he was shaking. 

It was just three words. Three _stupid_ words and everything was out in the open.

_I’m an Omega._

Hanbin took a deep breath and held it for a few moments before he let it go.

“I’m—” He couldn’t do it. He thought back to the scornful looks that have been haunting his dreams. He couldn't handle them hating him, discarding him like he knew he would be, “—not an Alpha?” His voice trailed off as he said it, almost as if it were a question.

The feeling of Yunhyeong’s shoulder tensing against his temple was what caused the panic to set in. Gone was the _calmcalmcalm_ , now it was spiked with _confusion_ and the fleeting flashes of _distrust_ and _betrayal_ that caused Hanbin to jerk away from the source of the scent, curling as far forward as his seat constraints would allow him.

He couldn’t believe that he had done that. He had dropped his guard and just _willingly spilled_ his biggest secret. What caused him to _do_ such a stupid thing? He _knew_ that telling the others was a fucking horrible idea, but something in the way Yunhyeong talked to him, _touched him,_ had caused him to let his walls slip down enough for the Alpha to be able to look in. He always managed to ruin _every fucking thing_ that was good.

Yunhyeong was running his hand down Hanbin’s arched back, keeping the pressure light to avoid making the younger panic.

The touch was far more soothing than Seunghoon’s was, and that was already enough to cause him to go boneless against the older rapper. Hanbin could feel the sobs that had been building up in his chest begin to dissipate and his harsh breathing began to ease up.

Yunhyeong stopped the ministrations, hand stilling to press against the nape of Hanbin’s neck.

Hanbin needed to answer the older. He needed to answer Yunhyeong, need to admit that he wasn’t an Alpha, but that he was a _Beta._

Just as he was about to clear up one lie with another, the hand on his back slipped under the neckline of his sweater, the cool press of fingers against his too hot skin causing his mind to blank, words gone from his mouth.

The fingers rested just over the scent gland that sat in the curve of his shoulder. The lightest ghost against it caused Hanbin to burrow even farther into his arms, still curled forward in his seat. It caused both pain and pleasure, with them swollen and painful from his heat, but the touch so _careful._

Hanbin could feel the last bit of fight drain from his body. It was almost as if his mind was shutting down. He was tired, so fucking _tired,_ and he wanted nothing more than to curl up against Yunhyeong and not move. For the first time in _years,_ he felt like he could breathe.

 

 

Yunhyeong watched as the muscles in Hanbin’s back loosened up as he continued to lightly massage the side of the younger’s neck. He was trying to keep his scent as soothing as possible, Hanbin’s reactions to it just proving his theory.

Hanbin had his moody days. His most prevalent mood seemed to be anxious, always an underlying panic in the way he looked at Yunhyeong. Other days would be a terrifying blankness that would stay on the rapper’s face for _days_ before it disappeared.

They had all gotten used to Hanbin’s anxiety, it had been present for as long as they had known each other. According to Jinhwan, that was just how Hanbin had always been, even before becoming a leader or presenting. It had been rough to understand the strange quirks and obsessiveness over seemingly irrelevant things, but the leader seemed to have been handling it much better now than when they were teenagers.

None of them quite knew how to deal with the... _dissassociating._ Yunhyeong doubted that Hanbin even knew when it happened, but to the others, it was so painfully obvious. The leader would turn into an _empty shell_. One of them would catch him staring at his music with none of the _passion_ that he normally held, or they would be walking to practice and Hanbin would just _stop_ in the middle of the street or sidewalk, or Yunhyeong himself would peak into Hanbin’s room, only to find that the younger still hadn’t left his bed, even though he had been laying there the whole day. He treated them with such a detachment on those days that they had taken to just avoiding him to see if he caught on. Hanbin never noticed. Of course, he never noticed, not on the days where it seemed like he was just barely keeping his head above water.

No one knew how to approach him. Hanbin was hard to read on a normal day, but became impossible on a bad one. Sure, they had learned to pick up on the self-deprecating smiles and the way his eyes never seemed as _bright_ as they used to be, but that wasn’t enough.

They wanted to be able to help him, talk to him, but Hanbin kept them all (emotionally) at an arm's length, refusing to let them any closer than was strictly necessary.

Yunhyeong knew that bonding wouldn’t just make all of that go away, but it would help them to _understand_ a little better, but Hanbin had never wanted that bond.

After being together, all seven of them, for the first full year, Jinhwan had brought it up to Hanbin that becoming a pack should be their next move. They were already so comfortable with one another that being so connected barely even felt like such a commitment. As soon as the eldest had mentioned Hanbin being the Pack Alpha, the leader had immediately fought back. He claimed that it was too soon, everything was still unsure. Wait a few more years.

Well, more than a few years had passed, with Hanbin getting more and more closed off as time went by.

The most noticeable change had happened after Bobby had gone off during that broadcast when he had said that he hated how much Hanbin touched him. The leader had laughed with them, but almost immediately after, they all noticed him pulling away more.  

Bobby was always the one that Hanbin was comfortable touching anytime, anyplace. So after the older rapper had said that, it was all too noticeable when Hanbin had started avoiding him. At first, Yunhyeong had been mad at Bobby and had scolded him for saying something like that on a _live_ , of all places.

But Bobby had explained himself, and it wasn’t until Hanbin had taken to clinging off of him that Yunhyeong understood.

Bobby had claimed that Hanbin’s scent made him feel wrong and _uneasy._ He said that his muscles tightened and his head seemed to fog up. Junhoe had agreed with the rapper. According to him, being near Hanbin felt like a threat. He smelled like a _challenge._

That’s when Yunhyeong began to notice how anxious he felt whenever Hanbin touched him, which after he started avoiding Bobby, was a lot. He had always assumed that he was just feeling Hanbin’s anxiety, but it was different than that. It was almost _bitter._

Both Donghyuk and Chanwoo had attested to having a similar reaction to Yunhyeong, while Jinhwan claimed he was unbothered. The oldest beta had the weakest nose out of all of them, but they still saw the way he tensed up whenever Hanbin touched him.

Chanwoo had pointed out that they all disliked Hanbin’s scent, and that had caused them to subconsciously avoid scent-marking the leader, or letting him scent them. That had come as a bit of a shock, none of them were shy when it came to scent marking. All of them seemed to carry a bit of Yunhyeong’s woody smell, and Jinhwan sometimes had more of Junhoe’s crisp leather than his own lemon. The idea that all of them had unknowingly rejected the leader’s scent had made them think about forming their own pack.

Your body outright rejecting the scent of someone was a pretty big tell that you weren’t compatible to bond. They had discussed bonding without Hanbin, but decided that they would only do it with the leader’s blessing. It was getting to the point in their life that they were starting to feel _restless_ , not having that bond, but sometimes people stayed as “lone-wolves” and never felt that desire. They had all assumed that was just how Hanbin was.

Even after acknowledging that fact, they had still tried to talk about bonding with the leader, but even then Hanbin just wrote them off.

It was getting harder to ignore the harsh cinnamon that caused their eyes to water and lungs to burn with every inhale. Over the past few weeks, it had continued to get even worse, until Jinhwan had finally begged Yunhyeong to bring up the idea of bonding without him to the leader.

That had been two days ago, and in those two days, Hanbin had seemed _different._ Yunhyeong had barely seen the leader, even though they lived in the same dorm, but when he did, it almost seemed like Hanbin’s scent was changing.

It was subtle, so subtle that Chanwoo hadn’t even noticed.

When he had run into Hanbin in the kitchen yesterday morning, he had placed his hand on the younger’s shoulder as he spoke.

Hanbin had flinched away from his touch, and something in his scent spiked ever so slightly.

That was the first tell. In all of the years Hanbin had been an Alpha, his scent barely changed.

The second tell was the way Yunhyeong’s fingers _tingled,_ almost, while placed over Hanbin’s scent glands.

When the younger had pulled away and left, Yunhyeong could still smell the harsh cinnamon and the gross _fakeness_ , but there was also something sweet that was left behind. That had been the third tell.

It wasn’t uncommon for Alpha’s secondary scent to be a sweeter one. Yunhyeong’s was a spicy ginger, whereas Junhoe’s was a sharp dark chocolate. Only Bobby’s held a sweeter, honey scent.

These scents were usually overshadowed by their main ones, and it took more for them to stick without bonding.

Betas usually held a lighter, _brighter_ scent. Chanwoo’s apple was by far Yunhyeong’s favorite, as it paired well with his own scent. Donghyuk was a mild eucalyptus mint that was always calming and fresh. Jinhwan was a tangy lemon that held the slightest hint of vanilla. The oldest was the easiest to scent-mark, even if he could barely smell them.

Omegas tended to keep scent’s the easiest, and the strongest, so subtle thing’s like secondary smells were much easier to notice when an Omega was scent-marked. Beta’s held on to stronger scents, but they tended to be weaker on them than when put on an Omega. It was harder for an Alpha or a Beta to get their scent onto another Alpha, especially when they weren’t bonded, but an Omega’s scent would be just as strong on an Alpha as the Alpha’s would be on an Omega.

The fact that the strange sweetness had stayed on his hand throughout the entire day made him question a lot, but he decided not to bring it up with the others without speaking with Hanbin first. It had been surprisingly easy for the manager to agree to switch seats, the older man not want to deal with the rapid mood swings of the leader.

Hanbin’s admission to not being an Alpha hadn’t been as much of a shock as it would have been had he not been suspecting something was up already.

But that didn’t mean he had been expecting it.

Yunhyeong wasn’t able to keep the small feeling of hurt that Hanbin had lied to them out of his scent, and Hanbin had immediately caught it.

Now that Yunhyeong was aware of the barely-there _sweet_ in the younger’s scent, he was able to pick up on the way it soured as Hanbin curled even farther forward in his seat. A few heads turned their way, but Yunhyeong guessed that most people assumed the _panic_ that was filling the area around them came from a fear of flying.

As Hanbin’s distress become more visible, Yunhyeong placed his hand against the younger’s trembling back, trying to put as much _calming Alpha_ into the touch without it being too noticeable. It had only taken a few minutes for the tenseness in Hanbin’s posture to bleed away, and the shaking and stilted breathing slowly followed.

Yunhyeong had waited a few more minutes, just to be sure, before moving his hand to the far side of Hanbin’s neck. He once again placed his hand over the scent gland, lightly pressing down on it before rubbing his fingers in gentle circles. Hanbin had sucked in a sharp breath just as Yunhyeong’s fingers pressed under his sweater, going almost completely slack, head buried in his arms and elbows barely staying rested on his knees.

Yunhyeong brought his right hand forward to mirror the other, resting on the right side of Hanbin’s neck as he softly massaged that side.

He continued until Hanbin had gone fully limp, slouching forward so far that Yunhyeong had to pull him back, settling the younger against his side. He kept his left arm around Hanbin’s shoulders, fingers combing through the other’s hair as the rapper pressed his face against Yunhyeong’s neck.

He hoped Hanbin continued to sleep through the rest of the flight, he had been worried seeing just how worn-out the younger had looked this morning. Plus, that would give him time to think.

He now knew, for sure, that Hanbin wasn’t an Alpha.

But what does he do with that knowledge?

Yunhyeong was pretty sure that Hanbin wasn’t a Beta, all things considering. He wasn’t quite sure how the others would take to Hanbin actually being an Omega. He didn’t think Donghyuk or Chanwoo would care much, but he did know that Jinhwan would be _destroyed_ over the fact that Hanbin had lied to them.

Bobby and Junhoe were both unpredictable, at best.

He would lose Hanbin’s fragile trust if he told any of the others, so the only thing for him to do was talk to Hanbin and fill in all of the blank spots, and maybe convince him to tell the others.

Pulling out his phone, Yunhyeong shot a text to their manager, asking to switch to be paired up with Hanbin at the hotel.

As he was waiting on the reply, Hanbin had pressed his nose farther into Yunhyeong’s neck, nuzzling under his jaw.

This was the first time he’s ever had an armful of content Omega, even if he couldn’t smell the younger, and even if the touch was causing his muscles to lock up slightly, he never wanted the feeling to disappear. 

- 

Thankfully, Hanbin had stayed quiet and drowsy for the rest of the journey to their hotel. He stayed glued to Yunhyeong’s side the entire time, which prompted many questioning stares from the rest of the group, and even a half-hearted glare from Jinhwan. He knew that they were all very confused by the sleepy leader draping himself over the oldest Alpha, Bobby even scrunching up his own nose in pity for him.

The gross chemical smell, thankfully, wasn’t quite as harsh as it normally was, now dulled down under Yunhyeong’s own oud and ginger.

By the time they had all been corralled into their rooms, Yunhyeong practically had to drag Hanbin to the bed (closest to the door and away from all windows, Bin was weird), but the rapper refused to peel himself away from Yunhyeong’s neck.

“C’mon, Bin. If you’re that tired, take a nap.” It was barely noon, but Yunhyeong still wanted to talk with Hanbin about everything, meaning it would be better if the rapper wasn’t sleep-deprived.

He had attempted to pull Hanbin off of him, but the younger had fisted his hands into the vocalist’s jacket, whimpering against his neck. It still didn’t matter that he couldn’t smell it, but Yunhyeong still went into _Alpha-mode_ upon hearing the distress.

He resigned himself to laying down with Hanbin, letting the younger lie half on top of him, nose still buried in the hollow of his throat.

Just how bad had it messed with him—them rejecting his touch? If Hanbin really was an Omega, then it must have been _awful._ Not only had they requested he stop touching them, Bobby had probably _embarrassed_ Hanbin in front of thousands of viewers, not to mention hurt his feelings.

Hanbin was self-critical enough, giving him any reason to think they didn’t like something about him probably tore the younger apart. There was no way he didn’t notice how their scents continued to mingle, but his was never apart of it.

 _God._ That must of killed him.

Yunhyeong thought back to every pinched smile he had seen the younger give one of them after finding them with different combinations of _lemon and leather_ or _mint and pine._

Just thinking about the way Hanbin tended to close-off when one of them pressed too close now made him tighten his hold on the younger, making Hanbin _huff_ in his sleep.

He hadn’t realized he had dozed off until his phone vibrating next to him had startled him awake.

**_Jinhwan 🍋🍋_ **

_yo we’re gettin food. u and bin comin w?_

Yunhyeong figured Hanbin wouldn’t appreciate being woken up right now, and he really didn’t want the younger to wake up alone if he left.

**_Yo-yo 🌰☕_ **

_Could u bring somethng back for us?_

**_Jinhwan 🍋🍋_ **

_u guys okay?_

He could practically see the way Jinhwan was pursing his lips in his usual _“no of course I’m not worried don’t be ridiculous”_ way. What could he say to the oldest the wouldn’t raise too much suspicion? 

**_Yo-yo 🌰☕_ **

_Think Bin has a fever and I’m making sure he stays in bed before tomorrow_  

There. That wasn’t a complete lie. Hanbin _did_ feel a little too warm for his liking, and he _was_ making sure the younger rested.

He was woken up again after what had only felt like a few minutes of resting his eyes by a light knock on the door. The sound caused Hanbin to furrow his eyebrows and curl up facing the opposite direction of the door, letting go of Yunhyeong for the first time in hours.

Yunhyeong took the opportunity to slip out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he moved to open the door. 

Jinhwan was standing in the hallway holding a take-out bag, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised at him in question, “Here. Where’s Hanbin?”

Yunhyeong almost laughed, not only yesterday Jinhwan was pissed at the leader. “He’s sleeping right now. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine by tomorrow,” he shot the older the most assuring smile he could, watching as Jinhwan nodded before heading left and turning into his own room. 

He was grateful that it had been Jinhwan that knocked, any of the others probably would have noticed just how heavy the cinnamon was clinging to him, far more potent than it should be if Hanbin was also an Alpha.

“Bin-ah,” Yunhyeong gently shook Hanbin’s shoulder, “Wake up~” 

Hanbin stirred slightly, groaning as Yunhyeong continued to attempt to rouse him. It only took a few more seconds of Yunhyeong’s greasy cooing for Hanbin to finally rise.

Yunhyeong noted the way the younger winced as he sat up against the plush pillows behind him, shooting the elder a glare that was far more cute than scary in his ruffled state.

Setting his own food aside, Yunhyeong pulled out whatever Jinhwan had picked out for Hanbin and handed it to the younger before sitting back on the bed to eat his.

Hanbin pushed the food around with his chopsticks, sporadically taking bites whenever Yunhyeong sent him a _look._

They continued to eat in silence until Yunhyeong had finished his food and Hanbin continued to _not._

He sighed, “Okay, scoot forward.”

Hanbin made a face at him, “Excuse you?”

“Just—move forward, will you?” Yunhyeong waited for Hanbin to do as he said before moving to sit behind the younger, raised slightly by the pillows. He pulled Hanbin back against him, feeling the rapper tense up for a second before melting against him, “Better?”

Hanbin nodded, “Yeah, thanks,” he breathed out, taking another bite of his food.

 _Nailed it._ Yunhyeong rested his hands on the younger’s shoulders, fingers immediately going to the tender areas on Hanbin’s neck. The more he continued to massage the scent glands there, the more the gross chemical smell disappeared, letting the sweet cinnamon break through.

He watched as Hanbin put his half-empty container on the bedside table before half turning in in Yunhyeong’s arms to curl back into him.

It wasn’t even a full minute later that Hanbin seemed to remember everything, pushing himself away from the singer and almost falling off the bed. “I—Sorry. I forgot about the whole ‘no touching’ thing. Sorry,” he repeated, looking down and fiddling with the comforter of the bed.

The look on the younger’s face caused something in Yunhyeong’s chest to tighten, made even worse by the small surprised noise Hanbin let out when Yunghyeong pulled him back where he was. “You’re fine right here, okay? Now, I think we need to talk about some things.”

Hanbin let out a sigh of resignation, “I know.”

Yunhyeong had listened while Hanbin had told him about everything, from his presentation to the suppressants and Alpha pheromone emulator.

(He had purposefully left out everything to do with his father, along with just how bad the suppressants were, but Hanbin wasn’t ready to talk about that _just_ yet.)

There were a few moments when the younger had to stop speaking for a few moments to collect himself while Yunhyeong kept a comforting hand between his shoulder blades.

“And I guess that’s it,” Hanbin trailed off, not looking Yunhyeong in the eyes.

“Is that actually it?” Yunhyeong asked, “Or are you telling me that’s it?” When Hanbin didn’t respond, the answer was pretty obvious. “Okay, tell me more about the suppressants you’re on.”

Hanbin’s head flicked up in surprise, as if he wasn’t expecting the Alpha to know anything about the medication. “W-What do you wanna know?”

Yunhyeong shrugged, “I don’t know. Do you not have heats? I didn’t think you were meant to use suppressants every day, but I assume that’s why we can’t smell you.”

Hanbin opened his mouth before shutting it, repeating the action a few times before actually managing to put together a sentence. “I mean—I do? Kind of?” Yunhyeong could tell that Hanbin had never actually explained this to anyone else before. “Like- I guess they’re considered dry heats? The suppressants stop... _yenno_ and stuff, but I’m still really...sensitive?”

“You know you have to tell the others, right?” Hanbin nodded, lips pressed into a thin line and eyebrows furrowed, “This isn’t just something you can keep a secret. I won’t say anything, but as soon as we get home, you’re telling them.”

He could tell that Hanbin was stopping himself from saying something, but Yunyeong decided not to pry any more than he already had.

Yunhyeong knew he had to tread carefully with this next part. “If you wanted, I would be more than happy to help you with your heats in the future?”

Hanbin’s head snapped up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in surprise, “You— _what?_ ”

Had no one really offered to help him through a heat before? “Yeah. I’m sure some of the others would probably agree to help too, if you were okay with that.”

“You mean. You aren’t like, _mad at me?_ I _lied_ to all of you for like, the entire time we’ve known each other?” Hanbin seemed shocked, but Yunhyeong only shrugged in response, “You’re an Alpha! How can you be so _okay_ with this?” His voice was gaining a note of hysteria, and Hanbin pushed against his chest, trying to separate them, again, “You—You don’t _understand._ Bobby’s going to hate me! They’ll all _hate me._ You should, too—I—” He was cut off by a harsh sob, curling inward to hide his face in his legs, shoulder’s shaking as he cried.

“Aw no,” Yunhyeong cooed, collecting the younger in his arms and tucking them both under the covers. Hanbin showed no signs of the crying stopping, so Yunhyeong let the rapper curl under his chin, soft whimpers or hiccups occasionally breaking through the sobs. Yunhyeong was trying to keep his scent as soothing as possible to get the Omega in his arms to calm down, but he figured that Hanbin just needed to let this out, and he was more than willing to hold him through it.

-

“Hyung?” His voice was scratchy and nasally from crying, but the tears had finally slowed to a stop.

“Hm?”

Hanbin hesitated, this was a big thing for him to do, and he wasn’t quite sure he was ready, but he wanted this. “I-If you really wanted to help with my heat...then, okay.”

 _If I don’t get kicked out of the group before then._  

The offer almost felt like a cop-out. He knew they wouldn’t keep him around for another three months, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop the suppressants right now to go through the one in a few days.

He didn’t dare let himself think about what it would be like to actually bond with the others, to be able to wake up every morning covered in a different mix of scents.

Thinking about _mating_ hurt even worse. Just because Yunhyeong offered to stay with him during a heat, didn’t mean that the oldest Alpha would be wanting to mate.

The others already didn’t want him to bond with them before, but after finding out? They probably were going to lose any respect they had for him.

Maybe he could convince Yunhyeong to let him tell them that he was a Beta. Thankfully, the singer had been okay with finding out, but Hanbin knew that that was where the acceptance ended.

Hanbin shifted to his other side, turning in Yunhyeong’s arms to face the Alpha.  

But Yunhyeong had already fallen back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi welcome to ur tape. 
> 
> jkjkjkjk thankyu for reading this mess bc i have no clue what im doing rn yee.
> 
> I deadass spent a few hours with @omghanbin picking their scents whenever i first got the idea for this fic ngl.
> 
> Jinhwan - kinda like a lemon square with the slightest dab of vanilla  
> Yunhyeong - oud and ginger. oud is like hella fancy and smells g r e a t  
> Bobby - smoke and pine and honey. think Winnie the Pooh + hundred acre wood  
> Hanbin - cinnamon that smells really fake and bleh on suppressants, but off them he smells like a cinnamon roll uwu  
> Donghyuk - idk like eucalyptus and mint but neither too strong  
> Junhoe - leather and dark chocolate, yenno the kind that is a lil bitter  
> Chanwoo - apple. that's it. apple
> 
> (i need to stop talking about this but I'M OK was literally what inspired this fic, Hanbin all small lookin and sad sob sob. His shoulders look so t i n y esp when he's in the car someone stop me.)


	4. And it's killing me, once again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing ever went right for Hanbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all it's 4 am and i just typed almost 7k words of this garbage in the past few hours
> 
> this is because @runsoftbin was bullying me
> 
> im kidding ily Ru
> 
> title is from Killing Me - iKON if you couldn't guess
> 
> i haven't edited this since typing it i'll fix all my fuck ups at 2 pm k

The sound of the shower running seemed to be mocking him.

Which was stupid. _He_ was being stupid. It was his damn idea. He had told Yunhyeong to wash his scent away, so why was it bothering him so much?

 

Hanbin had woken up to Yunhyeong pressed up against his back, having slept better than he probably ever had. While the Alpha was still asleep, Hanbin begrudgingly pulled himself away, taken his suppressants, and headed into the bathroom.  

He always carried a bottle of un-scenting soap, just in case he ever needed it. With the suppressants dulling his normal scent, the soap would remove almost all of the heaviness of Yunhyeong’s. Whatever was left after that, Hanbin knew would be gone under a layer of scent neutralizers.

Actually, maybe leaving a bit of Yunhyeong’s scent on him would help distract the others from his own. The Alpha had mentioned disliking the pheromone emulator Hanbin used, and he had decided to forgo it for today. It was just one day after all, he highly doubted the others would even notice.

Plus, washing away the Alpha’s scent was causing his stomach to hurt. A lot.

 _Fuck._ His heat was still supposed to be four days away, and this was so much worse than his normal pre-heat cramps usually were. After he had woken up and taken his pill, not even the hot water from the shower was helping how bad the cramping was.

Not only were his muscles _killing him,_ but the nausea was back, along with a sharp pain in his stomach. It was different than the cramping, and _so so so_ much worse.

Getting out of the shower had been difficult. Getting dressed had been even harder.  

Hanbin didn’t know how he would be able to perform today if just raising his arms to pull on a shirt made his eyes water.

It was so bad that bending over to pick up his towel had _actually_ made him throw up. The head rush combined with the pain had made him feel so sick, almost to the point of calling out to Yunhyeong, but he was _fine._ It was probably whatever he had eaten yesterday. He was fine.

When he had finally been able to leave the bathroom, Yunhyeong was still sprawled out, drooling on the pillow with the covers shoved down to his waist.

Hanbin’s heart clenched at the sight. He wanted to be able to wake up to this. He wanted _this._  

And the fact that he had it was only going to make it so, so much worse when he lost it.

He couldn’t let himself get used to it, not when it was going to end soon.

“Bin?” Yunhyeong’s voice was still laced with sleep as he sat up, rubbing his eyes, “Everything okay?”

He guessed standing in front of the bed just staring was a little odd. Hanbin shot the older a smile, hoping it wasn’t as much of a grimace as it felt like. “All good, hyung.”

Yunhyeong continued to regard him with the same worried skepticism the vocal had been giving him all night, “You sure? You look off.”

He felt off. “I think I’m coming down with something, honestly,” Hanbin shrugged. That would explain why his stomach was turning and his head was spinning for the past few days, made even worse by the fact that his heat was meant to hit soon.

That wouldn’t explain why he had been feeling like shit for months now, but Hanbin just couldn’t bring himself to care, not anymore.

Seconds after he had said it, Yunhyeong had jumped out of the bed and rushed to him, “Do you feel sick? You feel a little warmer than yesterday, which is kind of worrying. Maybe you should sit out today. Do you feel lightheaded? You should—”

“Hyung,” Hanbin cut him off, “I’m _fine._ I promise it’s nothing too bad. I’ll be fine by show time.” 

Yunhyeong scrunched his nose up at him, “You smell weird, again. Is that the suppressants?”

Why did everyone think he smelled _weird?_ Seungyoon and Minho had both said it the other day, and Yunhyeong had mentioned not liking the Alpha pheromones that he used, so now what was it? “Define weird.”

“I don’t know. Usually you smell like a really potent cinnamon, _angry,_ almost. But that was the fake Alpha smell, I’m guessing, considering the lack of _‘grrr don’t talk to me’_ surrounding you.”

Hanbin took back everything he had ever said about Yunhyeong being the funniest member.

It must have shown on his face, “Oh c’mon, don’t look at me like that,” Yunhyeong continued, “Anyway, right now your scent just smells... _wrong_. You smell sick, but not like _sick_ sick. I’m not really sure how to describe it.”

Helpful. Really helpful.

Hanbin sighed, he knew of one thing that would make the ache slightly less _stabbing_ and probably mask the _weird_ that Yunhyeong was describing _,_ “Will you—” He stopped himself. He shouldn’t ask that. Asking Yunhyeong to mark him would be too much.

“Will I what?” Yunhyeong raised an eyebrow at him.

He really shouldn’t ask the older. It was weird. Hanbin looked down, he could feel his face heat up from the embarrassment.

“C’mon, Bin. You can tell me?”

Ugh. Whatever. The worst the other could do was say no, and it’s not like it would be the _end of the world_ or anything, if he did.

Hanbin hid his face behind his hands, “ _CanIhaveoneofyourhoodiestowear_ _—"_  He rushed out, all in one breath.

Maybe last night was a mistake. Yunhyeong was probably just being nice to him because he didn’t want to upset him. Hanbin probably just put him in a really awkward place, so what else could he do other than humor him? Oh, god. He had _cried_ on him. Hanbin didn’t cry in front of the others, barely ever, actually. He trusted Yunhyeong when he had said he wouldn’t tell the others, but that just meant that he didn’t want to be the bringer of bad news, right?

“Hanbin,” Yunhyeong reached up, pulling the younger’s hands away from his face, “It’s _okay._ ” He reached behind him, grabbing a red hoodie that had been lying on the bed. He must have grabbed it while Hanbin was mid-freakout, the rapper recognizing it as the same hoodie Yunhyeong had been wearing on the plane.

Hanbin was too suprised to say much, just let Yunhyeong wrangle the hoodie over his head. When he went to put his arms in, Hanbin wasn’t quite able to stop the small gasp, caused by the ache still running up his back and across his shoulders.  

Grimace still stuck on his face, he watched as Yunhyeong’s eyes widened slightly at the noise, “What’s wrong? What hurts?”

Yunhyeong was such a _good_ Alpha.

Why were his eyes watering, just from that thought? His hormones have been all _over_ the fucking place, recently. Quite honestly, Hanbin was sick of it.

“It’s fine, hyung, really.”

Yunhyeong didn’t listen, instead bringing his wrists up to swipe them against the sides of Hanbin’s neck, “Bin, I _told_ you. I need you need to tell me these things,” he gently chided the younger, “Do you know why this is happening?”

 

Hanbin had also winced when Yunhyeong had let the younger go to get the food from Jinhwan.

Yunhyeong figured doing what had worked that time was the best bet. Hanbin had relaxed when Yunhyeong was sitting with him, so maybe it was the lack of his scent that was causing it?

Hanbin’s eyes had slipped shut, lightly swaying as Yunhyeong continued to deposite some of his scent over the younger’s scent-glands. “I dunno,” he mumbled, “Probably not used to the exposure.”

That caused Yunhyeong to still, making Hanbin whine until he continued.

But the fact that just one night of sleeping together was enough to put him on a pheromone high? Was it that uncommon now, being so exposed to one of their scents? He hadn’t seen Hanbin slip into Jinhwan or Bobby’s beds in a while, and last night was the first time it had happened between the two of them. Between not scenting him and the moments where there had been out-right avoidance, Yunhyeong suposed it made sense for Hanbin’s body to be overwhelmed from being covered in an Alpha’s scent.  

Was this the first time he was willingly, _purposefully,_ scent-marking Hanbin?

That was kind of like, _his thing._ Whenever Chanwoo was upset from a bad practice, or if Donghyuk had a nightmare, or to calm Bobby down. Looking back, the closest he could think of was after Hanbin had ran off during Mix & Match, Yunhyeong had grabbed him by the shoulders and buried the younger’s face into his neck, but Hanbin had pulled away and gave him an awkward smile, uncomfortable around the cameras.

Looking at Hanbin now, eyes shut and a soft smile on his face, Yunhyeong can’t believe it’s taken _years_ for him to figure it out. Who _knows_ what would have happened had the younger not told him. Would it have caused a big enough fight to split up the group?

Yunhyeong would never let that happen. He _couldn’t._

Hanbin dropped his head onto Yunhyeong’s shoulder, breathing out a sigh before pulling away completely, “You should probably wash my scent off of you. Use my soap in the bathroom,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Yunhyeong didn’t _want_ to wash the _happy Omega_ off, but the others would definitly notice, so he nodded to the younger, pressing a kiss to his forehead before collecting his stuff and heading into the bathroom.

-

Hanbin couldn’t do it.

While Yunhyeong was in the shower, Hanbin had applied the _smallest_ amount of the Alpha pheromones. He felt too _exposed_ without them, even if being covered in them caused a different kind of paranoia.

Yunhyeong had asked him about it, but there hadn’t been much time before they had to leave the hotel and head to the venue for rehersal.

Currently, they were stopped at a sushi bar, their manager promising a rare treat for Yunhyeong and Jinhwan’s birthdays that had occured earlier in the month. Bobby had complained for a while about it, but the eldest two’s combined puppy eyes had swayed him.

Hanbin wasn’t really in the mood for eating. Even surrounded by Yunhyeong’s scent, which he noticed prompted a few stares in the car, his stomach was still turning and just the thought of eating made him gag.

He continued to pick at the rice on his plate, not even bothering with whatever the main portion was. He felt _gross._ He knew he should eat, and he did want to, but whatever he managed probably wouldn’t stay down for too long.

Yunhyeong leaned over from where he was sat next to Hanbin to whisper in his ear, “Why aren’t you eating?” 

Hanbin shrugged, not bothering to look up from his plate until he heard someone scoff. He glanced across the table to see Junhoe snickering into his hand and Jinhwan barely concealing a glare behind his chopsticks. “Let him go, Yunhyeong. He’s an adult, he can take care of himself.”

And there went any desire he had to eat.

The grip he had on his chopsticks tightened, and the hand he had resting in his lap balled into a fist. He didn’t like Jinhwan being upset with him. The thought of the Beta being angry with him caused the ache in his _everything_ to increase.

He heard Yunhyeong whisper out a harsh sounding “ _cut it out”_ but he didn’t really care. Jinhwan had every right to be upset with him.  

Putting down his chopsticks, he brought his hand to join to other, wringing them together under the table.

Another hand joined his, slipping in between and putting a halt to the harsh rubbing. He assumed it was Yunhyeong, at first, but it had come from the opposite side from where the Alpha was sat. Hanbin looked over to see Donghyuk eating his food like nothing happened, but the hand covering his own squeezed.

The rest of the meal had gone by in a tense silence, Hanbin eating whenever Yunhyeong gently urged him to, but ultimately continued to push the food around.

A chair scraping back caught all of their attention. Heads turned to the end of the table to see Bobby standing up from his seat. The Alpha had been uncharacteristically quiet, but it seemed that was ending. “Okay. No. This is bullshit and I’m waiting in the van.” He turned around and walked out, not bothering to push his chair back in.

Hanbin felt like he was going to be sick.

Junhoe scoffed, again, “The hell is his problem? Why is everyone so _pissy,_ lately?” He had turned to look directly at Hanbin, punctuating his words with an eye roll.

No. He was _actually_ going to be sick.

Hanbin ripped his hand out of Donghyuk’s, shoved himself away from the table and headed to the bathroom, not bothering to stop at Yunhyeong’s calls.

The sound of the chair grating against the wood was replaying in his head, along with the way both Bobby and Jinhwan— _Junhoe, even —_had _looked_ at him. He barely had been able to lock the bathroom door, thankful it had been a single and _empty,_ before he threw himself over the sink, retching into it.

Hanbin didn’t want to _do_ this, anymore. He was tired of always feeling like shit, both emotionally and physically, because he was a fucking _Omega._ He was tired of the glares and harsh words, even though he _knew_ they would be so much worse if the others knew. He was tired of the stupid medication that made his stomach hurt and head spin. He was sick and tired of always being _sick and tired._ He just wanted to give up.

Hanbin sunk down to his knees and pressed his forehead against where his hands were still holding onto the sink in a white-knuckled grip. A choked off sob tumbled out of his mouth, followed by another one, and _another one,_ until he couldn’t do anything but spill the tears he had been holding back.

Everything _hurt._ His head, his back, his stomach, his chest, his _heart._ Not even his nose being pressed against the cuffs of Yunhyeong’s hoodie was dulling the pain anymore.

He just wanted it all to _go away._

But that wasn’t how life worked, and crying about it wasn’t going to do anything.

Hanbin held his breath, trying to stop the harsh sobbing, but only managing to make himself gag. He tried it again, and again, and _again,_ until _finally_ he was able to hold it for a few seconds before shakily letting it out. Repeating the process, he could feel himself getting light-headed, but that didn’t matter. He wasn’t crying anymore.

Crying wouldn’t solve anything.

It was stupid and a waste of time, a _bitch thing,_ his father had made that pretty clear.

Using the sink to pull himself up, ignoring the way his vision went white and his stomach turned, Hanbin turned on the water, cupping his hands under the stream and rubbing the tears off his face.

_He was fine._

Unlocking the door, Hanbin made his way out of the bathroom, raising a questioning eyebrow at Yunhyeong from where the elder had been leaning against the wall, “What’s up?” He was almost surprised by how composed he sounded.

Yunhyeong seemed slightly taken aback, too, “Are you okay?” 

 _No._ “Of course? Why wouldn’t I be?” Hanbin ducked away from Yunhyeong’s hand, heading back towards the table they had been seated at, only to find it empty.

_Don’t cry._

“They went in a separate car, I told manager-hyung I’d wait for you to get out, he’s waiting outside,” Yunhyeong said, gesturing toward the doors.

“Right.”

 

* * *

 

Bobby was pissed.

He had called his mother last night, complaining about _everything —_from the interview to the other members, everything seemed to be pissing him off.

His mother had said he was getting too restless without a pack bond, and that had just pissed him off even _more_ because that was why he was pissed in the first place.

He was mad at Hanbin for _so many reasons._ The leader was playing a game of _push-pull_ with them, lashing out every time one of them brought up bonding but not wanting them to bond without him. It made no fucking sense.

He was anonoyed with Junhoe constantly having to bark back at all of them. The younger needed to be put in his place and Bobby was one snide comment away from being the one to do it.

 _Hell._ Even Jinhwan and Yunhyeong were getting on his damn nerves. Jinhwan with his ridiculous moods swings, Bobby was sick of the eldest constantly changing sides, and then _crying_ no matter which side lost.

And Yunhyeong—

He was just sick of the oldest Alpha _babying_ Hanbin.

Like Jinhwan had said, Hanbin was 22 years old. He was a fucking adult and didn’t need Yunhyeong treating him like he was fragile, _breakable._

Hanbin was their leader, their _Alpha,_ and he needed to start fucking acting like it before one of them snapped.  

He kept telling Hanbin that having four unbounded Alphas in one group was only going to cause unnecessary fighting, but the leader just wouldn’t fucking listen to him.

Bobby was sick of it.

He could tell that Donghyuk was upset with him for his little outburst, but the rapper felt that he had every right to be upset.

Family meant a _lot_ to him, and he considered the other six boys to be his family, too. With Hanbin practically _rejecting_ that, it hurt.

“Maybe next time, don’t cause a scene in public,” Jinhwan mumbled from where he was seated next to Bobby.

He felt his shoulders tense, this was _exactly_ the kind of shit he didn’t want to deal with today. He ignored the Beta’s comment, staying quiet for the rest of the van ride.

 

* * *

 

Hanbin continued to brush off Yunhyeong’s words and touches throughtout the ride to the venue. He could tell that the older was really put-off by his sudden mood shift, but Hanbin knew that if he gave in, it would only make it so much worse.

Arriving at the venue, Hanbin was pleased to see that there was a separate, guarded entrance, blocked off by security. He loved their fans, but he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with all of the yelling and grabbing right now.

Him and Yunhyeong were sent in the direction of their dressing room while their manager had gone off to make sure everything was in order for later. The alpha had tried slipping his hand in Hanbin’s own, but he pulled away, crossed his arms in front of his chest and continued walking.

He was being unfair, but being around Yunhyeong brought his guard down too much, and he couldn’t let that happen.

Getting closer to the room, Hanbin was starting to hear the voices bouncing around inside. The angry tones were what caused Yunhyeong to push ahead of him, opening the door instead.

The sight they were met with was becoming an all too familiar one, with Junhoe and Bobby mid stand-off and the betas trying to placate them. Chanwoo was currently behind Junhoe, with Donghyuk positioned similarly to Bobby, and Jinhwan scolding the two of them in the middle.

Hanbin felt Yunhyeong tense up beside him, the pheromones were potent, spreading around the room like a heavy fog. It was making his head spin, he felt on edge and _scared,_ even though none of the anger was being directed at him.

Yet.  

Junhoe ripped his arm out of Chanwoo’s grasp, causing the youngest to back away to avoid being elbowed, “Well. Nice of you two to finally join us.”

“No, _no._ I am not putting up with you three and your stupid desire to _out Alpha_ each other. We were needed in hair and makeup five minutes ago. So _get._ ” Jinhwan’s tone held no room for argument, one of the few times he excersized his role as the eldest.

Not even in the room yet, Hanbin pulled away from Yunhyeong and rushed to the room just down the hall. He didn’t bother waiting for any of the others, why would he? 

-

Hair and makeup always took far longer than it needed to, and Hanbin was really uncomfortable with the way the makeup artist kept looking at him. 

Junhoe and Yunhyeong had been the first ones done, having the least complicated hair styles. It looked like Donghyuk and Chanwoo would be joining them soon, followed by Bobby. 

Both him and Jinhwan were getting their hair curled, taking far too long for his liking. He felt like a poodle, and only Jinhwan was actually able to pull off the style, maybe Yunhyeong on a good day.

People playing with his hair always made him drowsy, but for once he was wide-awake. He could feel the stares, they sent a chill running down his spine. The paranoia kept climbing, and the looks he was getting from everyone were only making it worse.

By the time his stylist was on her last section, Hanbin had to keep his hands tucked in between his knees to hide just how bad they were shaking. There was another _accidental_ graze, a delicate hand brushing against his neck, causing him to suck in a breath. She smelled like an Alpha, long legs and long fingers, a devilish smirk and playful eyes. Normally, Hanbin would respond to the advances, she was ridiculously beautiful, even if she was more Bobby’s type than his, but right now all he could focus on was not throwing up. Every skim against his ear or press of her chest against his back was causing his breath to catch in his throat, and not in a good way.

He wanted to tell her to _back off,_ he wasn’t _interested,_ but doing so meant possibly upsetting her, and he didn’t want more people to be mad at him.

“ _Done,_ ” her voiced _purred_ into his ear, slightly accented and low enough to be almost a rumble. Hanbin looked around the room, noticing he was the last one left. When had the others left? He was too busy trying not to panic that he hadn’t noticed them file out, one by one, until he was left alone.

Not alone.

He looked at the mirror, meeting his own wide eyes before catching onto the second pair, red irises rimmed in black and already locked on his.

He needed to get _out._

Not even bothering with thanking her, Hanbin bolted out of his seat, refusing to stop until he was already out the door and in front of their dressing room.

He was sweating, even though he could feel the way his black dress shirt kept falling open, revealing too much skin, leaving him _uncomfortable and exposed._ The path her fingers had run around his neck, across his shoulders and even over his collarbones felt like it left a trail of fire, burning his skin.

She was just doing her _job._ Why was he acting like this? He needed to calm down. He was getting way too worked up over _nothing._  

But why did he feel so _sick_ about it? His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, he could hear it echoing in his ears. 

He was _fine._

 _He was fine. He was fine. He was_ fine.

“Hanbin!”

His head snapped up.  

“What the hell are you doing? Hurry up and get in here.” Jinhwan had opened the door, shooting Hanbin an urgent look, “Bobby and Junhoe are fighting and we can’t calm them down. We have to be on stage next. Come _on!_ ”

No. No no _no._ He couldn’t deal with that right now. His chest was hurting with how hard his heart was beating.

But he was the _leader._ It didn’t matter if he couldn’t handle it, it was his responsibilty. He had to _fix_ this.

Hanbin followed Jinhwan back into the room, keeping one hand on the wall to stop from dropping to his knees at the overwhelming amount of pheromones in the room.

“Shut _up._ Okay? Just fucking shut up about it! We’re all mad at him, but don’t fucking take it out on me!” Junhoe pushed Bobby’s hand off of his shoulder, neither of the Alphas seeming to register his presence at the door.

Were they arguing about _him?_ Oh god, they were.

Hanbin could feel the anxiety bubbling up in his stomach. The room seemed like it was darker, black spots dancing across his vision.

Bobby had noticed Hanbin at that point, turning to look at him with so much _anger_ that it sent icy _fear_ running through his blood. The air in the room was too thick, every inhale filled with _annoyance_ and _resentment._ Bobby was practically snarling at him, “ _What do you want?!”_

Everything felt muddled with the two angered sets of red trained on him, he wanted to sink down to his knees at the Alpha’s tone, to _submit_ and show the other that he was _good._ He’d listen. 

But he couldn’t move. 

Yunhyeong moved to stand in front of him, pushing Hanbin to be standing behind his back, “ _That’s enough, Bobby._ ”

Hanbin wasn’t used to hearing Yunhyeong use that tone with any of them—He was _comfort,_ not discipline, and caused Hanbin’s knees to go weak, forcing him to fist his hand into the back of Yunhyeong’s blazer to keep himself upright. 

This only seemed to anger Bobby more, Hanbin could see the way his eyes narrowed at the sight, practically elbowing Jinhwan away when the beta placed a hand on his shoulder. “See! This is exactly what I fucking _mean._ All you fucking do is make excuses! And now you’ve got _Yunhyeong_ falling for your shit? I’m sick of you not fucking fighting your own battles. _Man UP!_ ” He turned to face Junhoe, pointing his finger at the younger, “And _you —_If you’ve got a fucking _problem_ with me than just fucking SAY IT! I’m done with your _bullshit!_ ”

He was going to drop. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, _fuck why wasn’t he able to breathe?_ He was trying so hard but every inhale made his lungs burn and his head was _spinning_ with the effort to stay upright. He couldn’t hear anything other than his own stilted breathing, but he watched as Junhoe yelled something, practically jumping on Bobby and throwing them both into the wall. Hanbin couldn’t look anymore, having to bury his face into Yunhyeong’s neck to avoid watching, but the vocal had ripped himself away to try and separate the two Alphas before they hurt each other.

Everything was _too loud,_ even though he still couldn’t hear anything other than his own thoughts screaming at him to _fucking breath,_ to _do_ something, but he _couldn’t._ He felt someone grabbing him, he wanted to shove them away but the fear still running through his body wouldn’t let him _move._ The black spotting his vision was starting to take over, yet somehow the lights were still too bright, too hot.

Jinhwan was yelling at him.

“ _Hanbin!_ Fucking _do_ something!”  

Bobby had flipped his and Junhoe’s positions, having the younger pressed against the wall, Yunhyeong fighting to separate them. Hanbin needed to _do something,_ why can’t he _do anything?_  

Jinhwan was behind him, pushing him towards the other three but Hanbin didn’t want to get closer. He wanted to run _away why wouldn’t they let him leave he couldn’t breathe._ “You’re their Alpha! Hanbin, you have to do something!” Jinhwan’s voice was urgent enough that it caused Hanbin’s legs to move on their own, stumbling towards the _angry angry angry_ even without his permission. _He needed to do something but what the hell could he do?_

Jinhwan gave him one final shove, misbalancing him and sending him forward, catching onto someone’s arm to stop from crashing to the ground.

Bobby _yanked_ his arm away, lashing out with the back of his hand and catching Hanbin in the temple with his knuckles, just watching as he hit the floor.

There’s a _terrifying, dizzying_ second where everything went white. All he could hear was static before the sound comes back, _deafeningly loud._

**_”GET AWAY.”_ **

Something inside him _snapped._

_Get away. Get away. Get away_

He needed to get _out._ He needed to get _away._

His mouth was filled with blood from where he bit his cheek. His head was pounding, he couldn’t hear anything but somehow it was still _so loud,_ he still _couldn’t breathe._ He was too cold, too hot, too dizzy to do anything but he still somehow managed to get up and _bolt_ out the door. He needed to get away, Bobby wanted him _away and he had to listen._  

Hanbin didn’t know where he was going, could barely see anything with how bad everything kept _spinning,_ he didn’t know where he was— _where was he?_

More hands were grabbing him and he wanted to shake them off but he needed to _listen_ so instead he let the hands latch onto his arm, wrapping around his bicep and yanking him towards _lights, too many lights, his head was killing him why was everything so bright._  

He saw Bobby being wrangled by their manager and Yunhyeong walking towards him but Hanbin could only shake his head over and over and _over again._ Bobby wanted him away, but he didn’t _listen._ What if Bobby _hit him again because he didn’t listen._

_Why did he always get hit when he didn’t listen? He was trying so hard but no one cared, no one ever cared why didn’t anyone care —_

The arm that had grabbed him let go, moving instead to fasten a mic-pack onto his belt loop, yelling at him in _not Korean._ Hanbin didn’t know what the guy was saying but he made another person _upset with him._ There was no time for him to even _breathe_ before he was being pushed toward the lights.

Stage lights.

“ _No._ ” His voice was choppy and hoarse, speaking made him want to throw up, “ _I-I can’t. I can’t go out there —_” 

The _not Korean_ sounded louder, _angrier_ the second time.

He was being pushed again, following the beginning of the booming notes of one of their songs playing. The shock of the noise overwhelmed him, yielding to the pushing as he stumbled onto the stage. The lights were too _bright_ and everything was too _hot._ He could hear his own voice echoing on the back track but his ears were ringing too much for him to be able to recognize what was playing.  

He could feel so many eyes on him but the only ones that stuck were Bobby’s. The Alpha standing at the other side of the stage.

Hanbin’s stomach turned as Bobby’s still blood-red eyes met his and not even a second had gone by before the microphone Hanbin had been holding slipped out of his grasp and hit the stage, a loud _screech_ ringing through his head before he turned on his heels and stumbled off of the stage.

The stabbing pain in stomach had flared up, sending him crashing into the wall just off of the stage. His chest was _heaving_ and there were too many scents surrounding him and _why was he so hot._ Someone was touching him but the burning made his knees buckle, slidding down to the floor and curling up. He felt like his mind was being pulled in too many directions. _Get away. Submit. Fight back. Stop._ His chest constricted more and more with each passing second, he was sure he was seconds away from _dying._

He wished death would come faster. He didn’t want to do this anymore. Everything _hurt_ too much and he couldn’t _breathe he wanted to die he wanted to die._

Fingers threaded into once perfectly styled hair, _yanking_ at the strands, trying to tear the pain _away._

 _GET AWAY._  

More hands were on him. _Why did everyone keep touching him he wanted them to stopstopstop —_

“ _Hanbin. You’re okay._ ”

His temple throbbed from where it was suddenly pushed against Yunhyeong’s neck. The singer’s arms around him felt so _good_ but they _hurt so bad,_ leaving him gasping for breath as he continued to pull at his hair, his throat was hoarse from screaming— _when had he started screaming —_but everything was starting to blur together too much to be recognizable and there were too many _scents_ everywhere.  

Yunhyeong was speaking again but Hanbin couldn’t make any of the words out because it smelled like a forest fire and he couldn’t _breathe_ around the smoke. It was clogging his lungs and making his stomach roll with _fear he was so scared._  

The fire continued to get closer and closer until it was _on him._ Flames danced up his arms and Yunhyeong was yelling something but the fire was covering him and he couldn’t _breathe he wanted to die he wanted to die he wanted to_ die.

His fingers were numb and the blood was starting to fill his mouth again, his temple was throbbing and his stomach was turning and the _fire was still covering him._  

Everything was too loud and he was too hot and _oh god he was going to be sick —_

Seconds felt like hours, he was in _agony._ He just wanted the fire to kill him already.

All of his muscles tensed up, locking and _burning_ before slowly, so _slowly,_ releasing.

He could feel his body giving up, surrounded in the white-hot flames as his mind blanked.

_Gone._

 

 

“BOBBY, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!”

The alpha stumbled away, eyes wide and mouth open in _terror._

Hanbin was shaking in Yunhyeong’s arms.

No, he was _falling apart._

Yunhyeong was on his knees infront of Hanbin’s curled up form, arms wrapped around the younger’s back and head, trying to keep him _together._

Nothing he was saying to Hanbin calmed the shaking, but as soon as Bobby had touched the younger he began thrashing and screaming _and begging_ in Yunhyeong’s arms.

He was begging to be let go, begging to let him _die._

Yunhyeong didn’t know what to _do,_ Hanbin kept fighting and sobbing in his hold. The scent of _distress_ and _fear_ surrounded the younger, filling the hallway with the sour smell of _hurt Omega._ He tried to counter it with the rush of _calmcalmcalm_ but it was being overtaken by the _hurt_ and _confusion,_ the _panic_ and the—

_Recognition._

Yunhyeong saw as Bobby’s face went white, backing away from the pair before tripping over himself and falling to the floor, bringing his hands up to block his nose, “Oh fuck. Oh _fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck —” _

Hanbin tensed up in his arms with one last shove away from him before completely falling limp in his arms. The younger was still shaking and wheezing but the screaming had _stopped._ Yunhyeong fell from his crouch, sitting on the floor to drag the younger sideways into his lap.

Hanbin’s eyes were barely open, irises a glassy blue, pupils blown and glazed over, head lolling against Yunhyeong’s collarbone. He was burning up and covered in the thickness of _sweet cinnamon and brown sugar,_ making Yunhyeong’s head fog up and his grip to tighten on the younger.

The scent seemed to hit Junhoe next, causing the Alpha to clutch onto Chanwoo’s shoulder as he stumbled back towards the wall. He slid to the ground, bringing the Beta stumbling down with him. 

_Hanbin was in heat._

“ _SHIT!_ Yunhyeong, he’s _dropping._ ”

Jinhwan hit the floor perpendicular to him, pulling Hanbin’s face away from Yunhyeong’s neck, fingers brushing away the trail of blood at the corner of his mouth, up along to the already forming bruise at his temple. “Hanbin, come on,” The Beta ran his hands down the Omega’s checks before bringing the younger forward to fall against him, covering him in _safe_ as he continued whispering.

Jinhwan usually had the worst control out of all of them, between the rapid changes in his own scent to barely being able to pick up on others’, but it seemed as though Hanbin being in heat had awoken his dormant _Beta-mom_ instincts.

The seconds felt like hours, an eternity of uncertainty.

No one spoke, no one moved.

“Hyung?”

Hanbin’s quiet voice brought Yunhyeong out of his thoughts as he brought his hand up to run along the younger’s back, attempting to sooth the shaking that had picked up again.

At the word spoken against his neck, Jinhwan seemed to snap out of _Beta mode,_ regarding Hanbin with a look of pure _shock._ “You’re—You’re an _Omega?_ ” The _hurt_ clouding him sent Hanbin recoiling back against Yunhyeong.

He could hear the younger’s breathing pick up again, whimpers falling against his chest as Hanbin pushed his burning forehead under Yunhyeong’s chin.

Every instinct in his body was screaming _protect,_ causing him to send a glare to the eldest, lowly growling until the Beta backed away. 

“What the hell is happening?” Their manager had run up to them, surveying the situation before immediately pulling out his phone, typing something out as he spoke, “Yunhyeong, we’re going back to the hotel, go to the car. The rest of you—” He turned to look at the others, clicking his phone off and sliding it in his pocket, “One other person can come.” 

Yunhyeong felt Hanbin tense in his hold, gasping out Bobby’s name over and over again, until the manager went to pull the Alpha off the ground. 

Bobby slapped the hand away, turning wide eyes to look at Hanbin before getting up and disappearing down the hallway.

The gasping turned into sobbing at the rejection, Hanbin clawing at his skin before Yunhyeong was able to lock his arms around the younger to halt the movement. Not waiting for anything else to happen, he stood up with Hanbin still in his arms, rushing through the hallways until he finally reached the place they had entered through.

Upon seeing them, a security member opened the back door of the car, letting him set Hanbin down before climbing in himself, giving the man a nod of thanks.

In the confined area of the car, Hanbin’s scent was almost suffocation him, but the younger wasn’t far enough along for it to pull Yunhyeong away from coherency. He sat back against to door, pulling Hanbin so he could curl against him, letting the rapper press his face against his neck as he continued to rub his back.

By the time Woohyuk had fallen into the driver's seat, Yunhyeong has gotten Hanbin mostly calmed down, even if the younger was still breathing out small gasps of pain into his chest.  

Yunhyeong met the older man’s eyes in the mirror as the car was put in reverse, “What about the others?” 

The Beta regarded him with the same cool calmness that he always seemed to possess, pulling away from the venue and onto the street, “Sent them back to do some damage control, even if the program was live. Leave it to this one to drop a bomb like that on live TV.”

Yunhyeong remembered watching Hanbin run out of the room after Bobby had hit him, not able to run after the younger without separating the two still fighting. That had been just before the manager had come in, along with a few staff to drag them back stage before they missed their opener. Seeing Hanbin right before going out had pulled forward every protective instinct he had for the younger, but watching the pure _terror_ on his face before he had run off the stage had killed him.

“Guess he really is a YG leader,” Woohyuk continued on, even chuckling slightly as he merged onto the highway.

“Wait—Did you know about this?” Yunhyeong couldn’t hide his confusion at the older Beta’s words.

“Not for sure, but YG had his suspicions. Not to mention GD had asked about him while helping your team during WIN.”

Oh. Was that why the elder had always smirked at the “next GD” comments?

“I’m canceling the flight back, for him, at least. There’s no way he’ll be in any shape to get home, so he’ll have to bunk out at the hotel. I’ve already spoken to someone and managed to book a heat suite for the next week. Are you going to wait it out with him? Or would you rather fly back with the others tomorrow?”

Fuck _no_ was he going to leave Hanbin. “I already asked if I could help and he agreed, but if he changed his mind I won’t do anything but stay with him.”

Yunhyeong just wanted to keep his Omega safe, and he would do everything in his power to make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i've touched on it before, but the suppressants were being wack and his body was going NOPE.  
> (Remember Yoon getting hospitalized? Yeah.)
> 
> Alsoooo. In my head JunBin have like a Tom & Jerry kind of reaction to each other's scent. Junhoe's makes Hanbin wanna argue with him in a teasing way, and that's why Hanbin with the fake alpha crap made Junhoe feel like he was being challenged.
> 
> And I love Yunhyeong with my whole being and I'm NOT sorry he's so heavily featured in this ok fight me.


	5. Maybe there's nothing that lasts forever in the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from Don’t Forget - iKON aka one of my favorite iKON songs ever  
> ahahahahah hi y'all i'm back at it again with another 4am chapter so it definitely sucks.  
> this is 8,000 words?? and somehow none of it's good??
> 
> well whatever, ignore my questionable english blah blah i'll fix my mistakes later  
> (no i wont)
> 
> also a heat suite is literally like any other fancy shmancy hotel suite except for the whole pheromone thing.
> 
> I live in a pretty big city so all of our hotels are like hella extra okay

Seungyoon was beside himself with worry, and his constant fretting was starting to make Minho dizzy.

WINNER had been the group to perform right after iKON was meant to go on, meaning they had witnessed the disaster that was iKON’s opener of “Love Scenario.” Being able to see it from where they had been waiting just offstage, it was obvious to them how uncoordinated the entrance had been. The seven of them had barely been on stage for 30 seconds before Hanbin had stumbled off, looking terrified, being followed immediately after by Yunhyeong and then the others.

When it became clear what was happening, production had switched the song playing to their own, staff urging them forward to begin their own small set.

They had just finished with “Millions,” and currently the four of them were heading to where they had been informed iKON’s dressing room was. Minho had tried contacting both Hanbin and Bobby, multiple times, before switching to Donghyuk. The dancer had replied that they were, in fact, still at the dressing room. After hearing that, Seungyoon had immediately gotten up to head over.

Since finding out Hanbin was an Omega, let alone one willing to hurt himself to hide that, Seungyoon had been worrying nonstop about the younger leader. Minho knew that Yoon had planned on taking the other out for lunch while both groups were in Japan, hopefully, to talk to Hanbin about everything that had happened in the past few days, as well as what might happen in the future.  

Truthfully, seeing Hanbin run off-stage like that had really shocked Minho. Finding out that Hanbin was an Omega meant next to nothing to him, he was still just as intimidated by the younger’s sharp stare and calculating gaze as he had been before.

(Well, maybe intimidated wasn’t the right word, more like... _captivated?_ Hanbin had a way of grabbing all of the attention in the room and convincing you that he was _the_ person to watch out for.) 

His cousin, Gunhee, was actually an Omega, and Minho had never really cared much for secondary-genders. If you wanted his respect, you had to earn it. Never once had he doubted Seungyoon’s capabilities, nor did he wish that he had remained the leader.

He knew Hanbin. He knew that the younger rapper was incredibly talented, but tended to put-down his work because he didn’t want to raise expectations in fear of disappointment. Minho had told the other, multiple times, that he had such an admiral passion for what he did, and to never lose himself for the sake of another person. In an industry built off of image, holding on to your individuality kept you sane, even if you were molded to fit the public’s idea of “perfect.”

He also thought he knew Bobby, but Minho really hadn’t been expecting this conversation.

“What do you mean you _commanded_ him?!” Seungyoon practically yelled at Bobby, shocking almost everyone in the room. Their leader was naturally a very calm person, even if he had his maknae-like moments, but the singer had been incredibly taken aback by Jinhwan’s retelling of the event. “You triggered his heat! While he’s on _suppressants._ Do you have any idea how _painful_ that is?! You have no right to be mad at him for what happened, it’s your fault!”

Bobby, who had been sitting down with a mixture of shock and anger clouding his scent, had immediately clapped back. “I didn’t fucking know! Okay?!” He stood up, “And even if it is my fault, it’s not my fucking problem!”

Even though he knew Yoon was able to handle himself, Minho still couldn’t hold back the snarl that came from another Alpha fighting with his Omega, eyes flashing red to match the film over his vision, “What do you _mean_ it’s not your problem?”

“He obviously didn’t trust us enough to tell us. That isn’t something you _lie_ about to your family.” Bobby’s tone was getting sharper with each word, walking up to Minho, “And _you-_ Why the _fuck_ did you know about this?!”

Just as Minho was about to snap back with an equally as sharp comment, Seungyoon stepped back in, “Bobby, you need to go to him.”

“I don’t need to do anything.”

For the first time since Minho had entered, Donghyuk spoke up, “Hyung, you left an Omega. In _heat._ That you triggered. You’re his Alpha, and we’re his pack. We can’t leave him. I _won’t_ leave him.”

“I’m not his _anything!_ We’re not bonded. That was his choice, not mine,” Bobby was getting even more annoyed as the conversation went on, even Jinhwan’s nose was wrinkling at the Alpha’s scent.

Chanwoo moved next to Donghyuk, the two Betas standing against Bobby with a look of defiance, “This doesn’t change who Hanbin is. We’re pack, bond or no bond.”

Minho couldn’t help it, but seeing one of his best friends act so...unlike himself, it was really pissing him off.

“You guys aren’t bonded because Hanbin isn’t an Alpha-”

“No shit.”

Ignoring Junhoe’s _thoughtful_ contribution, he continued, “And he didn’t tell you because he was worried that you guys would be asses about it, and looks like he was right.”

Bobby’s eyes widened in a mix of anger and disbelief, “You _know_ that I have no problem with Yoon!”

“Yeah! I do know that. But Hanbin doesn’t.” Minho remembered some of the things Bobby used to say, and even if he knew that wasn’t how the younger felt now, that still didn’t make it okay. “And not having a problem with _our_ leader is different than not having a problem with Hanbin being your own, it’s not even fucking close to comparable. He only knows about the fucked up shit that you used to believe!” 

“I was a _kid,_ ” Bobby gawked.

It was at that point that Donghyuk spoke up again, “Yeah, well so was he.” 

And with one final disappointed look, Donghyuk and Chanwoo both walked out of the door.

“I know that this probably _hurts,_ finding out something like this,” Seungyoon said, having switched into _leader-mode,_ trying to resolve conflict in the most efficient way, “Jinhwan, please don’t think that Hanbin kept this from you because he doesn’t trust you,” Almost-pleading blue eyes were locked on the Beta, who had been looking lost and confused for most of the conversation, “I don’t know everything, but Hanbin hid this because he was _scared._ There could be something wrong. Talk to him, try to understand. He needs your support.”

Jinhwan wiped his eyes before nodding, “I know. I _know._ I just- I just wish-” He shook his head, “No. It’s done now. You’re right. I’m calling Yunhyeong.” Jinhwan bowed to Seungyoon, “Hanbin needs us. I trust him and I know he trusts me.”

Minho noticed the pointed look Jinhwan sent at Junhoe, causing his attention to turn to the youngest in the room. Junhoe didn’t look angry like Bobby, or upset like Jinhwan, he didn’t look like _anything._

Seungyoon cleared his throat, “Junhoe, how are you feeling?”

The alpha’s voice was low, “I don’t know? My instincts are screaming two different things? It’s like- It’s like half of me is refusing to see Hanbin in a position of leadership now? But the other half is screaming at me to go to him, and I’m confused?” Junhoe finally letting an emotion show on his face- _doubt._  

“Don’t let your instincts define you. You are in control of your actions and your words. Hanbin hasn’t just suddenly become an Omega, he has been one since the beginning. Does that make him any less of a leader to you? His accomplishments invalid?” Junhoe shook his head at Seungyoon’s words, and the doubt slowly morphed into understanding. “Don’t judge Hanbin based off of something out of his control. He has proved himself to be more than that, just like you aren’t just an Alpha. That may be _what_ you are, but it isn’t _all_ that you are.” 

Even if the words hadn’t been directed at him, they had an obvious effect on Bobby. The rapper had his head in his hands, scent sour with _regret._

It was so potent that Yoon had moved to stand next to Minho, trying to drown the eye-watering smokiness with Minho’s own seasalt and lime.

Bobby was finally coming down from his pheromone trip, “I- I _hit_ him. I hit Hanbin. I hit him and then I left him.” 

The door opened, a much calmer Jinhwan entering the room with his phone still in hand, followed by the younger Betas, “They just got to the hotel. Yunhyeong is staying with Hanbin. We have a choice, stay or fly back tomorrow.”

“We’re staying,” Chanwoo said, a note of finality in his voice that the others hadn’t heard before, “No offense, but you guys are stupid if you let this stop you from seeing that this is bigger than all of us...Again, no offense.”

“How is he?” Bobby’s voice was unsure, posture slumped and defeated. 

Jinhwan shared a look with Seungyoon, “Not good. I guess they got a different room, but Hanbin locked the door.”

The omega paused for a moment, “Can I try to talk with him? We’re booked at the same hotel.”

“There’s a van waiting for us outside, we’ll meet you there.”

 

* * *

 

When Hanbin opened the door, he had immediately fallen into Yunhyeong, still wearing the loose black button-up but having discarded his tight jeans.

“ _Hyung,_ ” Hanbin whimpered against the column of the elder’s neck, “It hurts, it _hurts._ ”

Yunhyeong didn’t know what to do. He had pleaded with the younger for almost 15 minutes after getting off the phone with Jinhwan, finally managing to get Hanbin to let him in the bedroom, but hadn’t quite calmed him down.

Hanbin’s fever had hit an all new high, but he was somehow shaking with a clamminess that Yunhyeong knew didn’t come with a heat. Every time he thought what he was doing had worked, the younger would almost immediately fall apart, crying out in pain.

“Shhhh, Hanbin, pup. I’ve got you.” Yunhyeong had practically carried Hanbin back to the bed, trying to be as gentle as possible with him, “What hurts, baby? Tell me what hurts.”

“Chest. My chest _,_ ” Hanbin weakly sobbed, “It hurts, it hurts, _it hurts.”_

Seeing Hanbin like this was heartbreaking. The younger normally kept such a tight lock on his emotions, so seeing them force their way out in such a violent manner was really jarring. Yunhyeong was so out of his league with this, he had no idea how to help Hanbin. He wasn’t sure if the pain was tied to the others not coming, the suppressants, his heat- Yunhyeong had no clue.

“Binnie, it’s okay, it’s okay. Breathe, pup,” Yunhyeong cooed, trying to quiet the younger’s cries. He was sat up against the headboard with Hanbin curled up in his lap, hands slipped under the flowy shirt and rubbing the younger’s back. The muscles of Hanbin’s back were tight, contracting under his palms with each pained and shuddering exhale.

If anything, Hanbin seemed to cry harder, notes of _despair_ and _abandonment_ potent in his scent, “ _No._ They- They h-hate me. I shouldn’t- _Why-”_

Yunhyeong could barely understand the younger, but the anguish packed into the stuttering words pierced his heart like an arrow.

Hanbin's eyes had taken on the Omegan-blue when he had ran off-stage, and Yunhyeong knew that they would stay that way indefinitely through his heat.

“Oh, Bin.” He wanted to tell Hanbin that the others would be there soon, but Yunhyeong only knew that the Betas were on the way. He had no idea what was happening with Bobby or Junhoe, and he didn’t want to mention either of them in fear of causing Hanbin more pain.

He hated seeing him cry like this.

 

Thankfully, Yunhyeong soon heard the door of the suite open, hushed voices filling the living room area as a single pair of footsteps broke away from the others and padded towards the door.

A knock sounded, followed by Seungyoon’s voice asking to come in. Yunhyeong called out an affirmative, the door opening to show the older singer also still in his stage outfit, worry clear on his face and dark brown eyes still slightly swirled with blue.

“How is he?” Seungyoon softly called, making his way over to the bed with swift, yet careful, strides. Sitting down on the edge, he ran his fingers through Hanbin’s hair, gently brushing against the mark on the younger Omega’s forehead. Hanbin let out a whimper at the soft prodding, turning his head to nose the inner side of Seungyoon’s wrist.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, hyung.” And he really didn’t, all Yunhyeong knew was he wanted to keep Hanbin safe, Omega or not, and right now he wasn’t able to do that.

“Hey, pup. I bet you’re feeling kind of _bleh,_ huh?” Seungyoon directed at the youngest in the room, “The others are outside, want to go see them?”

Hanbin’s cries only increased in their intensity, fingers untangling from Yunhyeong’s blazer to weakly grasp Seungyoon’s wrist. _“H-Hate me- can’t-”_ He tried to get out, but the gasping sobs kept cutting him off.

Being as careful as possible, Seungyoon pulled Hanbin from his place on Yunhyeong’s lap, letting the rapper fall against him, “Let me take him, go talk to the others.”

Yunhyeong didn’t want Seungyoon to take Hanbin away, just barely able to stop himself from growling at the elder, but he knew that Seungyoon was more capable at that moment.

Plus, he had a bone to pick with the others.

As soon as Yunhyeong walked out of the door, he was immediately bombarded by Donghyuk and Chanwoo. Both Betas were firing questions about Hanbin, far faster than Yunhyeong’s frazzled brain could keep up with.

“Kids, settle down,” Jinhwan said, pulling the two younger Betas away from Yunhyeong, letting him sit at one of the couches. He was surprised to see Bobby and Junhoe both there, sat facing away from each other at opposite ends of one of the other couches. The third couch was claimed by the remaining three members of WINNER, while Jinhwan joined him and the other two Betas sat opposite them at the open part of the U formed by the couches.

With everyone settled, Jinhwan continued, “Seungyoon wanted to talk with Hanbin about us helping him through his heat. Yunhyeong, would you be okay with that?”

Yunhyeong nodded, “Hanbin and I already talked about it. I offered, as long as he still wants me to.” He didn’t know if he wanted to let Hanbin near the other two Alphas, and that wasn’t even him being possessive. Bobby had _hit_ Hanbin, Omega or not, Yunhyeong wasn’t okay with what Bobby had done. Junhoe, on the other hand, was too unpredictable around an Omega in heat, and Yunhyeong was unsure as to how the younger would be able to handle his instincts with Hanbin.

Bobby seemed to pick up on the doubtful look Yunhyeong kept shooting in his direction, “I want nothing to do with this, so don’t worry.”

“Hyung,” Donghyuk pleaded, “Please don’t be upset with him.”

“I’m not upset!” Bobby rubbed his hands over his face, running them back through his hair, “I’m not upset,” he repeated, quieter that time.  

“Yeah. Totally not upset,” Chanwoo said in the most deadpan voice.

Minho cleared his throat, “Well, Yoon wanted us to talk about some stuff while he was with Hanbin.”

Yunhyeong could tell how awkward the rapper felt, a light blush spreading across his cheeks.  

“The three of us take care of Yoonie’s heats together. Heats usually hit in three waves, sometimes more. This is probably his first one in a while, so it will likely be stronger than normal,” Jinwoo piped up, voice soft but steady, “Seungyoon said that a heat triggered on suppressants is going to be a bit more unpredictable, as well as harder on his body, so be careful.”

“This is going to be rough on you, too,” Minho directed at Yunyeong, “You’re going to be the only Alpha. He’s gonna want to-”

“I want to help.”

Yunhyeong’s head snapped to the younger two Alphas. Bobby’s face was beet-red, looking away from the square they formed. Junhoe, who had been the one to speak up, was hiding his face behind his hands, also sporting a rather intense blush.

“Are you sure?” Yunhyeong was skeptical. He didn’t want Junhoe agreeing to help, only to back out moments before, causing Hanbin even more distress. “Hanbin is really upset. This isn’t just going to be fucking him and you’re done. I found out on the plane ride, that’s why I changed rooms. He was _surprised_ that I wasn’t mad at him. I was lying down with him and he started crying because he was so shocked by it.” Yunhyeong could hear the guilt in his own voice, as well as see it in the others’ faces.

Bobby stood up, walking away from the group and heading to the sectioned off kitchen area. From where he was seated, Yunhyeong was just barely able to see Bobby pacing, fingers still tangled in his hair.

He was about to get up to talk to the younger, but Minho began talking again, “He’s confused. I was kind of the same way. Yoon was always so... _together,_ so I was really against helping at first. I didn’t want to see him in that state. It actually took almost a year until I was comfortable enough with the idea.”

“Well, he needs to get everything figured out. Hanbin looks up to him and Bobby really hurt him, we _all_ hurt him.”

Seungyoon appeared in the doorway, quietly closing the door again before walking over to them, curling up on Seunghoon, “He agreed, but doesn’t believe that you guys want to help. He’s devastated,” he shook his head, “I think he cried himself out. Said he wanted to be alone.”

“Are you sure leaving him right now is a good idea?” Yunhyeong didn’t like the idea of leaving Hanbin alone. Not at all.

“I told him I’d give him a few minutes. This is a really personal thing to share with someone, and Bin’s never done it before. Since he can be such a reserved person, this is going to be a difficult adjustment.”

Minho patted Seungyoon’s thigh before getting up, “I’m gonna try to talk to Bobby again, I think.”

“We’re probably gonna head out soon, anyway.” Seungyoon looked to his remaining group members before turning back to Yunhyeong and Jinhwan, “His scent is still off, but my guess is the first wave is gonna hit late tonight, maybe 9ish? Just- Just promise me you’ll take him to the hospital after this.”

“Hospital? Why?” Donghyuk said, worried.

“The suppressants probably messed with his hormone balance, not to mention his immune system and mental state. We found him in a pretty rough state the other day, that's when I figured it out. He's going to destroy his body if he stays on them.”

At Seungyoon’s words, Yunhyeong saw Bobby still in the kitchen, stopping the pacing even when Minho entering hadn’t. He didn’t know what was running through the rapper’s mind, but he hoped whatever happened wouldn’t cause more fighting.

“Try to get him to eat, but if he feels sick, don’t force him. Keep him hydrated. I have a gel I was going to give him to try because his muscles are probably killing him. Um- The suppressants might have messed with his ability to produce slick, so I can bring up some other things I was planning on giving him later. Just, be safe.” Seungyoon got up, patting Yunhyeong on the shoulder and waiting for the others at the door. Seunghoon and Jinwoo both followed, Minho exiting the kitchen after a few more seconds, followed by a very disgruntled Bobby.

As the members of WINNER left, Yunhyeong figured Hanbin had been by himself for far too long.

“Okay. I’m going back to Bin. If you plan on coming back, shower, change, do whatever. Bring up my stuff and Hanbin’s, here’s the room key,” He said, handing the card to Donghyuk. “I’m going to try to get him to come out, so please be quiet when coming back in.”

Yunhyeong ruffled both Chanwoo and Donghyuk’s hair, nodding at Jinhwan as he made his way back to the bedroom. Trying to calm the worry to avoid it leaking into his scent, he opened the door and let himself in the dark room.

The first scent to hit him was the _distress,_ but he could also tell that the heat scent had gotten a bit stronger since last leaving the room. Hanbin wasn’t visible, but Yunhyeong could see his still shaking body curled under the blankets.

“Hey, Binnie. Can I sit with you?” Hanbin didn’t give him a verbal answer, but Yunhyeong saw him shift to make room for him to sit at the headboard. After Yunhyeong had, once again, settled against the pillows, Hanbin shuffled closer, peaking his head out of his nest of blankets to lay it on the singer’s thigh. Yunhyeong ran his finger’s through the still curled hair, massaging the younger’s scalp while talking softly, “The others will be back soon. Want to go sit out there and wait for them?”

Hanbin whimpered, shaking his head and pushing his face against Yunhyeong’s leg.

“C’mon pup, you should try to eat something.” Yunhyeong knew that the younger had barely eaten anything in the past week. Plus, he wanted to get Hanbin around the others to get him accustomed to the scents before his heat kicked in. He didn’t want to risk something happening because Hanbin’s body wasn’t used to the different pheromones when he was mid-heat.

Yunhyeong switched to massaging the base of Hanbin’s skull, gently pushing his fingers into the muscles running along the back of the rapper’s neck. He was still sniffling from earlier, breaths shortened from pained inhales, but small groans and huffs of air slipped out every few seconds at the pressure. As Yunhyeong’s fingers trailed over Hanbin’s shoulders, he could feel the rhythmic tensing of the muscles under his palms. Pressing down on a particularly strong knot, Hanbin’s breath caught as the elder gently smoothed out the nerves.  

“I’m gonna move you, okay?” With only a little bit of difficulty, Yunhyeong managed to get Hanbin sat in between his legs, back his chest and head resting on Yunhyeong’s shoulder. The younger kept trying to curl back up, but Yunhyeong ran his fingers along the curve of Hanbin’s shoulders, putting enough pressure to help the tension, while still being careful of the tender scent glands there. From this angle, it was much easier to feel just how tight the muscles were, as well as see the varying levels of pain that passed over the rapper’s face.

Sweeping his hands from Hanbin’s shoulders to under the sharp collarbones that lay exposed under the barely buttoned dress shirt, Yunhyeong was trying to be a gentle as possible, kneading the area just around his sternum. He took a few seconds to fully unbutton the shirt, letting it fall open as he rubbed his fingertips into the sides of Hanbin’s chest, running along the sharp bones underneath. This area was pulling the sharpest winces from the younger, eyes squeezed shut as Yunhyeong continued to press his fingers in soft circles.

In his concentration, Yunhyeong hadn’t heard the rest of the group come back until the bedroom door was already opening. The sound caused Hanbin to freeze under his hands, trying to curl on his side while staying in the elder’s lap.

He looked up to see Jinhwan pulling both his and Hanbin’s suitcases through the door with only a bit of trouble.  

“Close the door?” Yunhyeong waited for the eldest to do that, motioning for the other to come towards the bed, “Want to sit with him for a bit? This blazer is suffocating me.”

“Are you sure?” Jinhwan asked, unsure of Hanbin’s reaction.

His voice caused the Omega curled in his lap to lift his head up once more, hair slightly messed up and shirt barely clinging to the thin frame as he pushed himself up.

“Nani?” Hanbin’s voice was quiet, _unsure,_ and it caused Jinhwan’s breath to audibly catch. The small amount of light in the room showing the lines of Hanbin’s ribs, skin seeming paler against the contrast of the black shirt slipping from his shoulders.

“Yeah, pup. I’m here,” Jinhwan sounded just as unsure as the rapper, looking to Yunhyeong for direction.

“Jinhwan-hyung is gonna sit over here, okay? We’re gonna take care of you, Binnie,” Yunhyeong said, pressing a kiss against Hanbin’s hair as he pulled himself away and stood from the bed.

Hanbin whimpered at the loss of contact, sending Jinhwan rushing over at the sound of distress. With the Beta keeping Hanbin placated, Yunhyeong took the chance to dig through his luggage, swapping out his stage clothes for track pants and a t-shirt. He figured Hanbin was going to cling to him, so a t-shirt seemed better than a hoodie in terms of contact, as well as being trapped under the feverish body.

Not bothering to open Hanbin’s case, Yunhyeong pulled out a cut-off from his own stuff, turning back to the bed to see the Omega curled into Jinhwan, face tucked into the Beta’s neck and back already bare of the shirt.

“He feels really warm,” Jinhwan admitted, keeping his voice low as he let Hanbin nuzzle at his scent gland, “But he doesn’t smell like he’s in the first wave, yet?”

“He’s been spiking a fever since we left the dorms. I think we have a few hours before it’ll peak.”

With Jinhwan’s help, Yunhyeong was able to get the shirt on the younger before grabbing one of the thin blankets folded up on the dresser of the room so Hanbin wouldn’t be as exposed.  

He wrapped the sheet around Hanbin, pulling the younger into his arms to lift him off the bed, “We’re gonna go out with the others, okay? Oh, no, no, shhhhh. Don’t cry, don’t cry-”

Hanbin sniffled against his neck, shaking his head against Yunhyeong’s shoulder.

Yunhyeong shared a look with Jinhwan, “Are they going to freak out as soon as we walk out?” 

“Most definitely.”

Getting Hanbin out the door didn’t prove to be as difficult as Yunhyeong had been expecting. The rapper had thrashed in his arms for a few seconds before falling still, letting Yunhyeong carry him without fuss.

Just as he thought, as soon as Yunhyeong walked out of the door, he was immediately met with the two maknae betas, which caused Hanbin to cry out and try to turn away from the noise.

“Again, you two. Go sit down.”

Chanwoo and Donghyuk did back off, but didn’t quite sit down like Jinhwan had told them to.

“Seungyoon-hyung and Jinwoo-hyung dropped off some stuff,” Donghyuk said, trailing behind Yunhyeong as the vocal sat down on one of the couches, “Can I sit with him? Please? I’ll be careful.”

The beta sounded very excited, and Yunhyeong could see the same was true with Chanwoo from where the maknae was stood slightly behind the dancer, nodding.

Yunhyeong didn’t want to overwhelm Hanbin, the rapper still shaking in his arms, but he knew the younger two Betas were dying to make sure he was okay.

“Okay, okay. Just- Chanwoo, sit on the other side of the couch,” Yunhyeong instructed, waiting for the youngest to seat himself before shifting Hanbin into the beta’s arms.

Chanwoo would have an easier time calming him.

“ _Hyung,_ ” Hanbin whined, almost causing Yunhyeong to pull him back again, but he was probably smothering the younger. He wasn’t sure how the exposure to Alpha pheromones for extended periods of time would affect his heat cycle, but he figured it was time to let Hanbin have a break from them, as well as let the others spend time with the small brunette.

It didn’t take long for Hanbin to make himself comfortable in Chanwoo’s lap, humming into the column of the Beta’s throat. Yunhyeong pulled Donghyuk down next to him, “Be gentle, he’s cramping pretty bad right now.”

Jinwhan walked in from the kitchen area, setting a few water bottles on the table in front of them, “Bobby and Junhoe are talking in one of their rooms. They both seem pretty...conflicted.”

The mention of the two Alpha’s forced a whimper out of Hanbin, making Donghyuk plaster himself against the Omega’s back, shushing him as he bracketed the rapper between his and Chanwoo’s chests.

“Let's go into the kitchen,” Yunhyeong suggested, pulling Jinhwan back into the sectioned kitchenette, “Talking about what? I thought Junhoe was in and Bobby wasn’t? Are they fighting, again?”

Jinhwan looked slightly hesitant, “Bobby...said he was thinking about flying back. He was packing his stuff up last I checked. Seeing him bail probably freaked June out, so I wouldn’t be shocked if they both head back.”

Yunhyeong was surprised, disappointed, and yet also slightly relieved at the idea of the other two Alphas leaving. On one hand, he really didn’t like the idea of either of them being with Hanbin, but he knew that Hanbin would be devastated about it.

“Do they not want to bond? Now we all know why Hanbin didn’t want to, we could talk about it before his heat starts and-”

“I don’t know if I want to, either.”

Yunhyeong blinked, “W-what?”

“I don’t know. I just-” Jinhwan rubbed the back of his neck, “Maybe we should wait until after his heat to talk about this?”

Yunhyeong was surprised, _again._ The eldest had been the one that was pushing for the bond the hardest, but he supposed it was understandable that he was still trying to understand what had happened, so maybe pushing a bond right now wasn’t a good idea?

“But, hyung, if we don’t bond then what if-”

A door slammed as several cut-off shouts rang through the kitchen, alerting Yunhyeong to the argument breaking out in the other room.

“Hyung!” Came Chanwoo’s call from the living room, causing the eldest two to rush back to where they left the others.

The scene that greeted them was a fucking mess.

Bobby and Junhoe had managed to enter the room without Jinhwan or Yunhyeong even noticing, the youngest Alpha was still stood in the doorway, but Bobby was being pinned against the floor by a growling Donghyuk.

Yunhyeong immediately rushed to where Chanwoo was still holding on to Hanbin, the Omega was flailing in the younger’s hold, crying out as he tried to rip himself out of the Beta’s grasp.

He dropped to his knees in front of the couch, “Oh my god, what happened?”

“He freaked out when Bobby touched him!” Chanwoo’s voice was frantic, “And- And then Dong tackled Bobby and-”

“ _STOP!”_

Bobby’s yell was enough for Donghyuk to stop snarling at him, not quite a command, but still held enough power in it to freeze the Beta, allowing Bobby to push him off, “What the _fuck!?_ ”

It seemed to have the opposite effect on Hanbin, making the rapper even more hysterical. Yunhyeong pulled him into his arms, trying to calm the younger’s cries.

“Shhh, Bin. It’s okay, you’re okay,” Yunhyeong tried to sooth the Omega, murmuring into Hanbin’s ear.

 

 

Everything _hurt._

“ _Please,_ ” Hanbin sobbed against Yunhyeong’s shoulder, “Make it _stop,_ hyung. Make it stop, make it stop, _make it stop._ ”

Being around Bobby made the pain to flare up again, joined by the most intense feeling of _fear_ coursing through his body. Hanbin wanted Bobby near him, so much so that it caused a physical ache, but the thought of it made him nauseous and terrified. The _pain_ and the _terror_ were spreading through his veins like ice, making his muscles lock up and he cried harder, chest heaving with each breath and it _hurt so bad._

“I’ve got you, Binnie. You’re okay, calm down, pup,” Yunhyeong whispered, but Hanbin didn’t want Yunhyeong, he wanted _Bobby._  

But Bobby _hurt._ Yunhyeong was safe.

He felt like he was being ripped in half, an aching in his chest that just wanted, _needed,_ to have the older rapper near him, yet the feeling of the other’s hands had made his skin crawl and throat close up. 

“ _Can’t-_ ” Hanbin was physically unable to speak from the vice grip the panic had around his chest. He wanted Bobby but his head was spinning and his temple was throbbing and he was so _so scared._ The sobbing wasn’t stopping, leaving him gasping against Yunhyeong’s neck.

“ _Fuck._ What the fuck is wrong with him?”

He couldn’t fucking _breathe,_ that’s what was wrong. He couldn’t breathe and he had never been in that much pain before. Bobby’s words caused his stomach to churn violently, sobs turning into gags as the nausea worsened. Hanbin knew he wouldn’t actually throw up, he hadn’t eaten anything _to_ throw up, but still thankful a wastebasket was shoved in front of him, anyway. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Bobby moving toward him, trying to push past Chanwoo but the Beta kept him back. 

Not even a second later he was retching into the trash can, the water that Donghyuk just made him drink coming back up, burning his throat and leaving an _awful_ taste in his mouth.

Hanbin squeezed his eyes shut, not able to stop dry-heaving, making it even harder to take a breath. There were hands on his back and voices bouncing around in his head, but he could barely register what they were saying.

“Shhh, you’re okay, pup, you’re okay,” Yunhyeong soothed, “But you need to breathe, Bin. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”

Hanbin tried to listen, he wanted to, but he _couldn’t._ Each inhale burned his chest and only caused the heaving to worsen.

“ _Hanbin, breathe._ ”

The voice caused the worst kind of conflict in his mind. Bobby’s hands on his back made him want to throw up even more, but the rumbling timber in his voice forced a rush of air into his lungs, making him cough in surprise.

“ _Slowly._ ”

The hands ran from his back to around his waist, trying to pull Hanbin back but he struggled against the hold. The words were forcing his chest to move without gagging, yet the Alpha’s presence was still pushing _fearfearfear_ into his head. He felt lightheaded and dizzy, he needed to _get away._

Bobby’s hands were ripped off of him, Yunhyeong’s taking their place once more, and the rush of _relief_ made him realize just how exhausting the fighting had made him, collapsing back and falling against the singer.

“It’s just me, you’re okay. I’ve got you, hyung’s got you,” Yunhyeong’s voice was low, _soothing,_ and it caused what remaining energy he had to fade out.

He was fucking exhausted. Another dry sob left his mouth, but it was almost too weak to even be considered a sob, too worn out to cry anymore. His body felt wrong, bones too heavy and skin too tight. The pain that was rippling through his muscles was almost comforting, he felt so numb and disconnected that the sharp contractions reminded him that he could still feel. It felt like there was static in the air, every time he breathed he felt small pinpricks in his lungs, electricity rippling under his skin.

“ _-back, Bin. You’re okay._ ”

Hanbin didn’t _want_ to. Leaving the floaty feeling meant _fear_ and _sadness._ He didn’t want that. The arms around his waist were warm and secure, his body felt heavy but he was _safe._

He still wanted Bobby. 

Bobby was _here,_ with the rest of them. He didn’t leave. He was with Hanbin, that had to mean _something._  

Right?

But did Bobby want him? No. No, he didn’t, right? Yeah. Bobby wanted him to go away. Bobby told him he wanted him away, but he didn’t listen.

He was _bad._ He didn’t listen and made Bobby mad. Why was he here, right now? Bobby should hate him.

  

 

Hanbin flinched when Bobby touched him. 

No, Hanbin _thrashed_ when Bobby touched him.

The idea of upsetting his Omega that bad caused an ache in his chest, but he had to keep reminding himself that Hanbin _wasn’t_ his Omega.

Seeing the younger fall apart after barely _touching_ him made Bobby feel like absolute shit. Hanbin was one of his best friends, but Bobby hurt him to the point that just being near the younger caused legitimate _terror._

Bobby yelled at Hanbin, _commanded_ him, hit him and then _left_ him.

All in the past day.

Junhoe and he talked it out, both realizing that they were being really fucking stupid, but that didn’t magically fix everything.

Bobby was fully planning on leaving, but both Minho and Junhoe had convinced him to stay. It didn’t matter how upset he was with the younger, leaving now would end up causing abandonment issues later on, and he could never do that to Hanbin.

He knew that most of this was his fault, and he wished he could blame himself instead of Hanbin, but 16 was such a long time ago that it hardly felt real.

But Bobby messed up then, and he definitely messed up now.

Seeing Hanbin come undone in Yunhyeong’s hold felt unreal, like he was watching a movie. Bobby couldn’t resist the urge to _help_ the younger, chest heaving with stuttering gasps, wet and _broken_ and struggling to breathe.

It _hurt._

All Bobby could do was sit and watch as Hanbin fell limp in Yunhyeong’s arms, whimpering and gasping against the elder.

Junhoe had to leave the room, not able to handle the bitter scent of _fear_ that was clouding the room.

Fear that Bobby caused.

The whimpers started to form into a chant, a plea of _JiwonJiwonJiwon,_ and Bobby couldn’t stand seeing Hanbin cry out his name until his voice broke, until he was only able to mouth the syllables.

Yunhyeong looked at Bobby with a look of panicked confusion that probably matched the one on his own face. Just minutes ago Hanbin was screaming at his touch like Bobby was _burning_ him, but now he’s crying out Bobby’s name like some fucked up prayer.

He was too scared to touch the younger, so he started backing away but the strangled _“don’t leave”_ that fell from Hanbin’s mouth triggered the most intense need to _protect_ him.

Donghyuk had no chance holding him back, Bobby jumped over both him and Chanwoo, crashing to the ground in front of Hanbin. Barely a second had gone by before Bobby was pulling Hanbin against him, body moving before his brain could fully process what happened.

Yunhyeong was too surprised to even growl at him, but still watching Bobby with a level of distrust.

The _fear_ in Hanbin’s scent spiked, burning Bobby’s nose and making his eyes water as Hanbin burst into tears for the second time. Except now, now he was curling into Bobby’s arms, crying out when he accidentally hit his bruise against the Alpha’s shoulder.

The bruise that Bobby put there.

Bobby wanted to cover the younger in a calming scent, but he didn’t have nearly as much control as Yunhyeong did, barely able to stop the _smoke_ from turning into a raging forest fire at any slight annoyance. Hanbin didn’t seem to mind, though, taking desperate breaths of it in between the hiccups and pleas.

“ _S-Sorry. Don’t leave-”_ Hanbin’s words were muted and _pained,_ _“So s-sorry,”_ he cried, hiding his face against the bunched up fabric at the neck of Bobby’s hoodie.

Bobby wrapped his arms around Hanbin even tighter, not knowing what to do other than hold him. “I’ll never leave you. I promise, I promise, I promise,” He repeated, lips pressed just above Hanbin’s ear, words barely a whisper yet held the same weight as any stupid _command_ he could make. “Never again, Bin. _I’m_ sorry, you did nothing wrong.” He barely knew what he was saying, just letting out whatever came to mind in the most primal need to _soothe._

Bobby knew that apologizing wouldn’t just make everything go away, but it did make Hanbin relax against him, quelling some of the _fear_  and morphing it into something almost bittersweet. If _longing_ had a scent, it would probably smell a lot like that. He wondered just how much Hanbin missed this. Bobby missed it, too, but he didn’t feel like he was allowed to be upset about it, considering he had been the one to pull away.

Everything was just so _confusing._ He didn’t quite know what to make of everything that had happened. In a few hours, everything he had known about Hanbin felt like a lie, though he _knew_ that wasn’t true. Bobby had to keep reminding himself that Hanbin was the same person, still his best friend.

He held Hanbin until the sobs slowly died out, the room tense and quiet with uncertainty.

 _“Hyung, hyung,”_ Hanbin’s voice was finally coming out stronger than a whisper, but still held the same shakiness as before.  

“What, Bin?” Bobby asked, but received no answer. “Hanbin. _Tell me what’s wrong.”_

He felt Hanbin’s breathe catch, “ _Hurts,”_ he whined, fisting his hands into Bobby’s hoodie.

“Bobby, give him to a Beta,” Yunhyeong said, “He just came out of a drop, you’re gonna put him on a pheromone high. You can still sit with him, but we should give him a break.”

Bobby, in no way, wanted to let go of Hanbin, but if Yunhyeong thought that it would be better to do that, Bobby would do it. Yunhyeong seemed a little surprised at his willing submission, probably expecting Bobby to fight back.

Chanwoo legitimately shouted “Dibs!” before pushing Donghyuk out of the way in order to get to where Bobby was rocking Hanbin in his lap on the floor in front of the center couch. He sent Bobby a cheeky smile, crouching down to gently unlatch Hanbin from the Alpha, lifting the significantly less hysterical Omega and carrying him the short distance to the couch.

Both Bobby and Hanbin immediately felt the separation, Hanbin whining, and Bobby just barely stopping himself from growling at the maknae.

But, the way Hanbin relaxed against Chanwoo was very noticeable, the Beta having a much weaker scent than the two Alphas that had been passing him around all night. Hanbin seemed to be soaking up the attention, rubbing his face against the side of Chanwoo’s neck, softly chanting, “Maknae, maknae, maknae,” voice still mostly gone and breaths still coming too fast.

Now that Hanbin was away from him, Bobby could feel the way the younger’s scent was clouding his head before, now feeling much more present. The sweet cinnamon was such a jump from the harsh smell the younger carried before, always making him feel uneasy and tense. Bobby preferred the sweet.

 _“F-Fuck, cramp_ ,” Hanbin cried, curling up in Chanwoo’s lap, wrapping his arms around his middle, “Ow, ow, ow. Holy fucking _fuck_.”

“Someone get me the tote bag in the kitchen,” Chanwoo said, adding on the sheepish “Please?” when he seemed to recall that he was the youngest.

Junhoe immediately sprung up, rushing to the kitchen to grab the sky blue tote that Seungyoon had dropped off earlier. While carrying it over, Bobby watched as Junhoe peaked into the bag, face instantly going scarlet at whatever it held.

Before anyone else could, Bobby jumped up to snag the open seat next to Chanwoo, having the perfect position to peak into the bag once the younger Alpha sat it down.

The contents seemed rather harmless, a few boxes and some bottles, along with a heating pad and other miscellaneous items.  

 _Oh. Those look like condoms._  

_And lube._

_Oh, wow. Okay._

Bobby’s face was probably turned just as red as Junhoe’s, he could feel the blood rush to his face at the implications of the items. It’s not that he hadn’t ever thought about Hanbin _in that way,_ but it was always random wet dreams that always made him really uncomfortable when he woke up. The idea of... _sleeping with_ Hanbin made him feel really weird.

But not bad weird?

NOPE. Bad thought.

“Hyung, can you hand me anything that says something about cramps? I’m sure Seungyoon-hyung thought everything out.”

Most definitely, the leader of WINNER was one of the most adaptable and thorough people Bobby knew, he had no doubt about that.

He dug through the bag, cringing slightly at the _‘Feels just like slick!’_ on the packaging of the lube before pulling out what looked like a tube of lotion. Quickly scanning the label, he figured that the _‘Pure Heat: Natural muscle relaxant and cramp reliever’_ seemed pretty straight forward, so he handed that to the Beta, trying not to look at Hanbin’s scrunched up face, “Here.”

“Ah, thanks, hyung.” Chanwoo directed at him, grabbing the bottle and moving to adjust Hanbin in his lap. He was trying to get the smaller male to uncurl, but Hanbin kept whining and pushing the Beta’s hands away.

Seeing what the youngest was trying to do, Bobby grabbed Hanbin’s hands in his own, preventing the Omega from wrapping them back around his stomach, ignoring the way Hanbin flinched away from him at first, pain still etched on his tear-stained face.

“We probably don’t have much time,” Jinhwan said with a neutral tone, “How should we...?”

“Yeah. How are we gonna handle this?” Donghyuk added from his place between the two eldest.

“Ow- _Fuck._ Be carefuuuul,” Hanbin whined at Chanwoo’s manhandling of him, “Want Yun-hyung.” 

Bobby scoffed at the visible way Yunhyeong puffed his chest out, practically able to smell the pride coming off of him.

“Okay, so if Yunhyeong-hyung goes first, should we just bond? Wouldn’t that make Bin’s heat less intense?” At Donghyuk’s question, both Yunhyeong and Jinhwan froze slightly. “What? What did I say?” Donghyuk asked, confused at the sudden tenseness around him.

Jinhwan looked like he was about to answer, but everyone paused at the low groan that sounded through the room, hands tightening against Bobby’s own.

He turned to look at Hanbin, eyes squeezed shut and mouth drawn into a thin line. Chanwoo had Hanbin sat in between his legs, back pressed against his front as he gently pushed his fingers just above the sharp bones of Hanbin’s hips, pulling a gasp from the rapper.  

Bobby was literally frozen watching Chanwoo’s hands move in practiced and fluent motions, massaging the gel into Hanbin’s skin.

“W-Why the fuck are you- so good at this?” Hanbin whined out, head falling back against the Beta’s shoulder as he took a heavy inhale through his nose, blowing it out and repeating. “ _Seriously.”_

Chanwoo smirked, eyes meeting Bobby’s before flicking around the room, “What? I had a girlfriend before joining YG,” and the smugness in his voice shocked a laugh out of everyone in the room, including Hanbin.

“ _Ow, fuck._ Don’t- Don’t make me laugh, or I _will_ start crying again. I don’t think you guys realize- _ow-_ just how sick I am of crying,” there was a cute whine in Hanbin’s voice that made Bobby feel two very different kinds of ways. On one side, he loved the childish tone, but at the same time, all he could think of was Hanbin crying in his arms.

Chanwoo must have hit a particularly bad spot because Hanbin froze, squeezing Bobby’s hands while taking a few labored breaths. The Beta kept kneading the tense muscles before pushing down just below his navel and then went back to swiping in gentle circles.

“Chanu, if you promise not to stop whatever you’re doing, I’ll let you help with hyung.”

 _Seriously?_ Bobby’s mouth literally fell open from surprise, Donghyuk and Junhoe both having similar reactions.

Yunhyeong going first made sense, but _Chanwoo?_

The smug smile appeared on the maknae’s face, yet again, “Won’t be long, now.”

Bobby didn’t quite understand what the Beta meant by that, unless he meant the first wave?

 _Oh, yeah._ Hanbin’s scent had definitely gotten stronger, and Bobby could practically feel the heat radiating of off him, even just being sat next to him.

Chanwoo continued what he was doing, Hanbin squirming more and more as the minutes ticked by. Yunhyeong was in the middle of explaining something, but Bobby couldn’t take his eyes off of Hanbin, the Omega practically shaking in Chanwoo’s hold.

There was a brief pause where Hanbin stilled, eyes snapping open as the scent of _Omega_ intensified. If Bobby thought that the scent was already nice, now the _brown sugar_ and _cinnamon_ were actually making his mouth water.

“You-” Jinhwan gaped at Chanwoo, “Did you-?”

Somehow managing to look even more satisfied than before, Chanwoo flashed them all a toothy grin before splaying his hand across Hanbin’s stomach, nipping at the smaller male’s neck and pulling a soft moan out of Hanbin.

“Looks like his slick is _perfectly fine.”_

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm?? Sorry?? Y'all?? Had?? To?? Read?? That??????
> 
> Although butt stuff happens next chapter yaaaay  
> plus theyll talk more blah blah blah
> 
> i should sleep


	6. Wait, because we’re going to be forever now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some questionable decisions were made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Wait For Me - Team B / iKON
> 
> This is exactly 7k words and I’m not posting at 4 am FOR ONCE. 
> 
> soz it took so long haha. Didn’t actually start writing until the other day yeet

No one spoke for what felt like years, but in reality was probably only a few seconds. Bobby was holding his breath, scared to take in the alluring scent that was growing sweeter with every moment passed.

Everyone’s eyes were trained on Hanbin, but Bobby’s gaze was on Chanwoo, teeth positioned in a grin just over Hanbin’s neck, _teasingly._

Every muscle in his body felt tense, stretched like a rubber band, seconds from _snapping._

No.

Bobby dropped the hands tangled between his own, practically shoved them back towards their owner before jumping over the back of the couch, wiping sweaty palms on his hoodie as he tried to distance himself.

From Hanbin.

Because he didn’t want Hanbin.

His body was reacting to Hanbin in the way an Alpha normally reacts to an Omega in heat. This was normal.

But that didn’t mean he liked it.

He was sick of the control Hanbin had over Bobby’s own emotions, his decisions. The way his body automatically lept into action when Hanbin had called out to him, not wanting to let go.

Hanbin was his best friend, his leader, nothing more.

So why did watching Yunhyeong push his way into Bobby’s vacated space bother him so much? Why did Hanbin’s desperate pleas pull him forward, like there was an invisible rope wrapped around his neck, and Hanbin was holding the other end?

Because Hanbin was an Omega, and Bobby was an Alpha. It was normal.

 

 

Yunhyeong really wished they had more time to talk about everything, but Hanbin was shaking and panting on Chanwoo’s lap.

And _fuck,_ he smelled amazing.

He forced himself to take a deep breath, not letting to scent overwhelm him, instead trying to familiarize his body with the foreign pull he felt because of it.

Hanbin was grinding down on Chanwoo, hips rotating in soft figure eights that forced the Beta to suck in a sharp breath.

There was one thing he needed to know before he went any further with the Omega. Yunhyeong placed his hands on Hanbin’s hips, stilling the movement as Hanbin whined in response.

“Bin, when was the last time you’ve gone through a heat?” Yunhyeong asked.

Hanbin immediately stopped moving, looking at Yunhyeong with a wary expression, eyes hazy and pupils blown, even if he possessed a clarity Yunhyeong hadn’t expected. “Three years,” he mumbled, looking _ashamed_ just talking about his heats.

“Why?” Chanwoo asked, affronted, “Couldn’t you just go home?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” and Hanbin was back to nosing at the Beta’s neck, hot breaths puffing out against Chanwoo’s collar bones.

“Hanbin, I know you aren’t that far along yet,” It was true, there was an urgency in the way Hanbin was looking at them, a desire, but it hadn’t fully taken grasp, “Did you go home for your last heat?” Yunhyeong kept his words calm and monotone, not giving away any emotion.

Like Chanwoo, he didn’t understand why Hanbin just didn’t go home for his heats, rather than wrecking his body with those suppressants.

A small nod was all he got in response.

“Okay,” Yunhyeong continued, “Why don’t you go home for your heats anymore?”

 

Hanbin chewed on his bottom lip, probably looking every bit as uncomfortable as he felt. He couldn’t tell them why, he _shouldn’t_ tell them why. That was between him and his family, it was nobody else’s business. He was far too prideful for his own good, a blessing and a curse, he supposed.

“It’s your father.”

Of course Bobby would be the one to say it.

The heat that was swirling in the pit of Hanbin’s stomach started rising, turning his chest warm and making his skin feel like it was on fire. Bobby’s gaze was sharp, calculating, and locked in on his own. Hanbin regretted raising his eyes to meet the elder’s, wishing he stayed focused on Yunhyeong’s soft stare.

Bobby noticed Hanbin’s hesitation, they all did, “You’ve refused to talk about him since debut. I always assumed it was about the scandal, but it’s even more than that, isn’t it?”

“Bobby, I don’t want to talk about it.”

But Bobby knew Hanbin too well, knew how to find cracks in the walls, jamming his fingers in far enough to make hand-holds, grasping for purchase before he could pull himself up and over. An invasion.

“He’s the reason you’re on suppressants. He’s always cared more about that stupid company than about you.”

“Bobby, _stop,”_ Jinhwan tried, even though he knew Bobby wouldn’t listen.

“He doesn’t like that you’re an Omega, and that’s why you hid i-”

“SHUT UP!” Hanbin screamed, fisting his hands in his hair and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want to hear this, knew it so well already, but now they _all_ knew. _“Shut up, shut up, shut_ up! It was your fucking fault too! You- You fucking-”

He was still in Chanwoo’s lap, but now Yunhyeong’s arms were wrapped around him, petting his hair and shushing him and his brain effectively shut down. Against his will, Hanbin felt a trickle a slick at the touch, hands roaming his body and dragging trails of electricity with it. His underwear felt soaked already, meaning Chanwoo could probably feel it through the fabric of his jeans. Oh _god,_ he was hard and grinding down on the maknae of the group.

Hanbin moaned.

 

Yunhyeong’s grip tightened, he could smell Bobby’s scent covering the Omega and he wanted it _gone._ He took care to spread his own scent on any and all of Hanbin’s uncovered skin, which happened to be a lot, for the sole reason of muting the other’s scent.

He felt a hand grip his shoulder, pulling him back away from Hanbin as he whipped his head around to glare directly at Bobby. The younger Alpha was practically snarling at him, eyes and angry red, and the outright show of defiance made Yunhyeong’s blood boil. He was sick of Bobby and his inability to just fucking _decide_ what he wanted.

Deep breath. _Calm._

“Chanwoo, take care of Hanbin. Everyone else, bedroom. _Now.”_

Pulling away from Hanbin was ridiculously difficult, but the fire in Bobby’s eyes was putting him on edge. They needed to settle this.

Jinhwan had practically dragged Bobby after Yunhyeong, with Donghyuk and Junhoe bringing up the rear.

With all five of them standing on guard in the room, door firmly shut and attention on him, Yunhyeong spoke.

“If Hanbin asks, I’m mating with him. I’m not willing to drag this out any longer. If you don’t want to bond, now or ever, speak up.” Yunhyeong made sure to lock eyes with each person in the room, continuing with no objections, “You don’t have to mate with either of us, and you don’t have to decide now, but know that the posibility of Hanbin wanting it is still there.”

“I want to,” Donghyuk piped up, eyes still eager and bright, even with all of the negative energy bouncing around the room. He was only given away by the stiffness of his posture, practically vibrating with the urge to _protect,_ even if it meant fighting. “Chanwoo, too. We talked about it before coming here.”

Yunhyeong nodded, he figured the youngest two Betas would feel that way. Even when they had known Hanbin to be an alpha, he had noticed how protective the two maknaes were over Hanbin. The three of them had all talked about it at one point.

Now the other Beta, Yunhyeong didn’t know.

Jinhwan was staring at him, but not actually focused on him. The eldest seemed pretty deep in thought, probably still trying to process everything.

“I want to bond, for sure, but I don’t know about mating,” Junhoe cut in, “I haven’t thought about it before, but I’m not exactly against it?”

His voice was surprisingly steady, not even Yunhyeong was able to keep the heaviness out of his own. Junhoe was showing a remarkable amount of control, scent barely giving away the small spark of arousal that was running through him. It made Yunhyeong feel a little better about letting Junhoe help, seeing that the youngest Alpha was managing to keep his cool.

 

Bobby, however, was not faring as well.

He had stripped off his hoodie after entering the room, tossing the article of clothing onto the bed. His skin felt like it was on fire and the jumper was covered in Hanbin’s scent, Omega pheromones practically choking him. He felt like he was going crazy, like his mind and body were disconnected, being pulled in two different directions.

Just knowing that Yunhyeong was _minutes_ away from fucking Hanbin was making his head spin.

He didn’t know _why._

Bobby had willingly conceded to the idea of Yunhyeong being Pack Alpha, they all had. Yunhyeong was the obvious choice, and he was really the only one that was willing to step up. Junhoe knew that he was too young, and Bobby just wasn’t a leader, too impacted by his emotions to make every decision of sound mind.

That was what made Hanbin such a good leader. Not only was he smart, but he was tactical, calculating. He was ridiculously hard-working, but he also knew how to get what he wanted, and he knew how to get others to give it to him. Hanbin was a master of putting his own feelings in a box and shoving it away, or at least away from their line of sight.

Hanbin didn’t _cry._ Not in front of them, at least. Jinhwan cried at the drop of a hat, and both Donghyuk and Bobby were no strangers to shedding tears because of their family, but Hanbin just didn’t. Bobby could honestly count on one hand the amount of times he had seen Hanbin cry over something that wasn’t iKON related.

So maybe that was why Bobby’s chest felt like it was caving in when he saw just how bad he hurt Hanbin. Omega or not, hurting your best friend that bad would make _anyone_ feel like shit. Bobby thought he knew everything about Hanbin, but now it felt like it was barely surface level. Hanbin’s spit-fire personality was Bobby’s favorite thing about him, even if sometimes the younger went too far. How much of that was a lie? A mask put on to fit into a role he was playing?

That didn’t mean Alphas had to be dominant and aggressive, but that’s just how he had always known Hanbin. Bobby wasn’t exactly the most _Alpha_ person, but he never backed down from a challenge, and he was willing to fight for what he believed in.

Yunhyeong was the perfect balance between soft and smart, he could handle his own emotions without ignoring them or lashing out. He was in tune with each of them on a different level, always knowing how to find the root of the problem. Perfect Pack Alpha material.

Of course, he would be the one to mark Hanbin first. _Of course._

“Bobby, I want you to make up your mind. You said you didn’t want to be a part of this, so just stay away from Hanbin. You’ll probably just hurt him again, anyway.”

Bobby didn’t have the chance to defend himself before someone else spoke up.

“Guys, I like hate to interrupt but I think Hanbin is getting further along. I mean, I think I just heard him moan again and I can smell him from here. Can we please, please, _please_ go back out there?” Donghyuk rambled out, looking to Yunhyeong to see the Alpha’s eyes also trained on the door.

The Beta barely waited for Yunhyeong’s nod before practically throwing the door open and rushing out. Both Yunhyeong and Jinhwan followed, albeit at a slower pace, leaving just Bobby and Junhoe in the room.

Bobby wasn’t sure of the youngest Alpha’s motives, making him stand guarded, closed off.

Surprisingly, Junhoe’s next words were directed at him, and it wasn’t until after the other had left that Bobby realized what had been said.

_“Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.”_

 

 

 

“Aish, took you guys long enough. Are you going to bite him, or what?”

“Yeah,” Hanbin gasped out, “Are you gonna bite me, or what?”

“Is that what you want?” Yunhyeong asked.

Hanbin knew his decision wasn’t affected by his heat, it was something he’d wanted for years, “Yes, _please.”_

Yunhyeong needed no more of an initiative than that.

Hanbin was still curled up in Chanwoo’s lap, but Yunhyeong could see how both of their mouths were slick with spit, Chanwoo obviously having done a bit more than _take care_ of Hanbin. With one hand still settled just above Hanbin’s tattoo, Chanwoo had gone back to nipping at the Omega’s neck, Hanbin leaning into it with a little huff.

Taking the seat he had previously occupied, Yunhyeong slowly reached for Hanbin, not quite displacing him from the Beta’s lap, but rather situating him to be half on Yunhyeong’s as well.

“Hyung,” Hanbin shakily breathed out, _“Alpha.”_

Yunhyeong’s breath caught in his throat. Hanbin looked so ethereal, staring up at him with teary, blue eyes.  _Beautiful._

He knew he should take Hanbin into the other room, but some fucked up place in his head was screaming not to, making him want to stay right here and knot the Omega while the rest of them watched.

It didn’t seem like such a bad idea, both Donghyuk and Junhoe were unabashedly staring, the beta looking far too excited and the Alpha seemingly taking mental notes. Jinhwan looked largely unbothered, scrolling through his phone while curled up next to Junhoe.

Bobby was just watching them, always pulling his eyes away right when someone glanced at him. He wanted to leave, knew he shouldn’t watch, but he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

Yunhyeong ran his hands up from Hanbin’s waist, drawing them under the loose tank top and sliding up, fingers gently pulling the shirt up and over the Omega’s head. It took barely a second to tug his own shirt off, but Hanbin plastered himself against his chest, muffling a whimper into Yunhyeong’s neck as he slotted their bodies together.

Hanbin’s attention was focused solely on the elder’s comforting scent and trying to breathe in as much of it as possible. Being cradled in Yunhyeong’s arms meant the heat burned less, instead feeling like a fading sunburn covering his body. Pitching forward completely out of Chanwoo’s lap, Hanbin pushed the Alpha back against the arm-rest to straddle him, barely caring about the others in the room. He felt the remaining tension slip away, mind going hazy again as he wrapped his arms tighter around Yunhyeong’s neck. The gazes burning his back didn’t matter, not when all he could think about was _AlphaAlphaAlpha._

 _“Slow,”_ Yunhyeong murmured, breath ghosting against Hanbin’s ear. He pulled the Omega’s face up, muffling another whimper as he slotted their lips together. Hanbin arched against him when Yunhyeong settled a hand at the small of his back, the other rising up to gently cup his face.

“Please,” Hanbin keened, pulling away to drop his forehead against Yunhyeong’s shoulder. Chanwoo had moved to kneel behind him, positioned between the elder two’s legs and somehow fitting perfectly on the couch. Chanwoo slide his thigh between Hanbin’s legs, letting the Omega grind down against it.

“Look at what you’re doing to everyone, Bin,” Yunhyeong said, “Look at how bad they want you.” The _desire_ in the air was potent, radiating off of the three onlookers (sans Jinhwan), along with the burning scent of Bobby’s _jealousy._ It was almost as intoxicating as Hanbin’s own.

Bobby had always been stronger than Yunhyeong, more dominant, more  _Alpha._

And Hanbin had always been Bobby’s, but right now-

_“You’re mine.”_

The words had been whispered into Hanbin’s hair, but Yunhyeong had been looking directly at Bobby when he said it.

 

The _jealousy_ morphed into something else, something much darker. Bobby hadn’t realized he had been biting his lip until the tangy scent of copper brought him back, still staring directly at Hanbin. He needed to leave before he did something he’d regret, but he couldn’t move.

“Calm down,” Donghyuk whispered, “You didn’t want this, remember?” Bobby had also said he didn’t even want to be present, but Donghyuk wasn’t going to bring that up.

Donghyuk’s almost condescending tone forced Bobby’s fists to tighten, grasping the material of his pants and turning his knuckles white.

_He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Hanbin._

 

Hanbin let out a broken moan, Chanwoo had slipped Hanbin’s underwear down and the sickeningly sweet cinnamon scent grew stronger.

“I’ve got you, Alpha’s got you,” Yunhyeong said, pushing Hanbin’s sweat-soaked hair away from his face. The Omega was panting against his chest as Chanwoo stroked his hands along Hanbin’s thighs before stilling.

Yunhyeong wished he had a better view, because seconds later Hanbin let out a choked off whine as Chanwoo slipped a finger in.

“God, he’s so _wet,”_ Chanwoo murmured, Hanbin’s body was already accommodated to the stretch, allowing him to work a second finger in. The slick made everything much easier, and surprisingly, there was a lot of it. Chanwoo didn’t know much about suppressants, but he wasn’t lying when he said he had a girlfriend before joining YG. He had only been with her for two cycles before they had split, but he still had enough knowledge to know how to finger someone, even if Hanbin was a guy.

And judging by the sounds coming from the Omega, Chanwoo was doing _something_ right.

“It’s too early to knot him, it would probably just bring the next wave on faster. Let me just-” Chanwoo said as he curled his fingers.

 _“Fuck, aah-”_ Hanbin gasped out, coming already despite Chanwoo barely skimming his prostate. The aftershocks of his orgasm ran through him, some of the heat dissipating as he continued to grind down as fingers curled into the sharp lines of his hips.

“Easy,” Yunhyeong reminded, trying his hardest to keep the growl out of his voice and his fingers from bruising the younger. “How many do you think you can pull?”

“That was the second, probably another two at least, maybe three.”

 _God._ Chanwoo had long fingers, reaching places Hanbin never was able to by himself. A third digit slipped inside the other two, but the stretch was barely felt as Yunhyeong bit down on his shoulder, making his body jerk.

It wasn’t a claiming bite, but the thought of it still forced a shiver to run through him.

Chanwoo’s other hand moved, slow and deliberate as his fingers kneaded over his tattoo, so close to his cock that was already achingly hard again. He had come earlier, just from Chanwoo’s hands barely brushing over his boxers when the Beta was trying to work the slick out of him.

 _“Ahh, hyung,_ I-”

“A little more,” Yunhyeong reassured, “Soon, pup. You’re doing so well. Just relax, alright?”

Hanbin nodded, he was lost to the feeling, pliant and loose and _warm._ Chanwoo’s fingers were working in a rhythm that was less about stretching him and more about trying to pull another orgasm from him. The tightness in his stomach was back, but he wanted something _more_ than Chanwoo’s fingers, no matter how good they felt.

A tongue joined the fingers, just for a second before pulling away but Hanbin’s brain blanked at the new feeling. Chanwoo groaned at the taste, and it shouldn’t have been as hot as it was but it still made the heat bubble up until it was overflowing.

Hanbin hid his face in Yunhyeong’s chest, cheeks ablaze with embarrassment at the thought, even though he was being _fingered in front of his bandmates._ He came for the third time with a sob, words unrecognizable and slurred out against Yunhyeong’s skin.

When Hanbin’s breath caught in his throat, whines breaking apart the strangled gasps and eyes squeezed shut, Yunhyeong told Chanwoo to stop.

“I think he’s had enough, let me have him now.”

The Beta nodded, slipping his fingers out and pressing a kiss against Hanbin’s shoulder blade, “All yours, hyung,” he said, moving to give them more space.

Yunhyeong flipped their positions as gently as he could, bracketing Hanbin between his arms as he placed soft kisses along his jaw. “Open your eyes, pup, look at me,” Yunhyeong breathed against the younger’s ear, pulling back to meet Hanbin’s glazed stare.

 _“Please,”_ Hanbin begged, “Alpha, please.” He wanted this, needed this. His head was spinning from the sensations and overwhelming him. Yunhyeong’s scent was dizzyingly strong, giving Hanbin tunnel vision, all he could see was the Alpha.

No matter how bad he wanted it, Hanbin couldn’t stop the slight burst of _panic_ that rippled through him at the feel of Yunhyeong’s erection pressing against him. He was a virgin, barely kissed anyone before this. This was his first time spending a heat with _anyone,_ let alone someone that he knew. He figured that he would be relegated to nameless faces at heat clinics, where he would be just a patient number. Instead, he was about to get fucked by his groupmates that he had been lusting over for however many years now. This was a wet-dream come true, but why was he so fucking _scared?_

“Binnie, it’s okay. Am I your first?” Yunhyeong asked, grinning at Hanbin’s shaky nod, “That’s okay, pup. I’ll go slow, I promise. You ready?”

Hanbin nodded again, feeling the head of Yunhyeong’s cock pushing in as he squeezed his eyes shut, face scrunching up in discomfort. He was trying not to clench around the elder, but Yunhyeong was a lot bigger than Hanbin was expecting, as well as his body just not being used to the feeling.

Yunhyeong kept true to his word, keeping his pace slow until he was all the way in, hips sat flush against the back of Hanbin’s thighs. There was a low whistle from somewhere in the room, probably Donghyuk, as well as several other noises. He refrained from moving, giving Hanbin a moment to adjust as he surveyed the room.

Jinhwan was nowhere to be seen at first, but a second glance showed him lazily moving around the kitchen. Junhoe was still staring, but now the _arousal_ was pouring off of him in waves, scent getting richer with the _dark chocolate._ The whistler had, in fact, been Donghyuk, the beta jerking off with a cheeky smile.

Bobby either didn’t notice what was happening next to him, or didn’t care. Although judging by the way his crimson eyes were locked on Hanbin, fists clenched and posture tense, Yunhyeong doubted it was the second one.

 _God,_ how fucking stupid could he be? It was blatantly obvious that Bobby was Hanbin’s Alpha, even if he was mated to multiple people.

 _“Move,”_ Hanbin gasped out, locking his legs around Yunhyeong’s waist.

So Yunhyeong moved.

He kept his trusts shallow at first, pace slow and easy before picking up at a steady rate. Hanbin met his eyes, and it was one of the few times he had seen the younger anything other than composed. There were tears in his eyes and his hair was a disaster, crying out and pushing back against every one of Yunhyeong’s movements.

The pace stayed slow, unhurried, but Hanbin’s brain still felt like it took a swan dive out the window. He was gone, mentally checked out, not able to do anything but whine and beg as Yunhyeong took him apart, piece by piece.

Yunhyeong wanted to draw it out, trailing kisses and grazing bites along Hanbin’s neck, just over where his bite would go. Hanbin was twisting underneath him, and there was barely a second for him to ask what was wrong before the Omega was coming for the fourth(?) time. When the younger looked up at him with that glazed expression, neck bared and _submissive,_ that was all it took for Yunhyeong to _snap._

The thrusts picked up speed, hips snapping forward so hard that Hanbin could feel the air rushing out of his lungs at each one. There was an odd feeling in his stomach, a weird pressure that grew everytime Yunhyeong pulled out slightly.

“I’m gonna knot you, stay still or you might hurt yourself.”

Hanbin gasped as the pressure increased, almost painful at that point. His head was fuzzy but each time the still growing knot caught on his rim he choked out a whine. Yunhyeong was whispering soothing words, trying to calm him but it still _hurt._

“Yun-hyung,” Hanbin sobbed out, “Please, n-need-”

Yunhyeong _slammed_ his hips forward, forcing Hanbin’s entire body to jerk with the force of it, shoving his knot as far in as he could go, cum shooting into the younger.

He bit down on Hanbin’s neck, pulling a breathless cry and orgasm number _whatever_ from the Omega as his teeth sunk into the sensitive skin over Hanbin’s scent gland. Yunhyeong was still coming as he pulled back, pressing open mouth kisses all along Hanbin’s jaw.

 _His_ Omega’s eyes were unfocused, and Yunhyeong felt a swell of pride in his chest at being able to say that, being able to _cause_ that. That was actually his first time knotting an Omega, his few sexual encounters having only been with Betas, and they weren’t actually capable of taking a knot.

Panting, Yunhyeong allowed his body to collapse onto the couch, taking care not to land on Hanbin as he turned them over. The Omega was completely pliant against him, blearily blinking as his chest continued to heave. He could feel the rapid beat of Hanbin’s heart pressing against his chest, but Yunhyeong knew that he was probably no better.

A slight shift of his hips pulled a whine out of the rapper, “Sorry,” Yunhyeong breathed, trying to pull the discarded sheet from before over them, “You okay?”

Hanbin nodded, not quite trusting his voice at that point, but Donghyuk seemed more than happy to speak up.

“That was fucking _hot,_ wow.”

The Beta had been lazily stroking his cock the whole time, hand sneakily traveling towards Bobby’s crotch when he came, but the Alpha batted it away.

Jinhwan came back in from the kitchen, “It smells like you fucked an apple pie. I can’t believe you guys. There is a bed here _for a reason_ but you chose to fuck on the couch. That couch is soiled now, I refuse to sit there,” the Beta continued to munch on his bowl of dry cereal, “And not only that, you _soiled_ Chanwoo.”

“Uh, hyung? I’m not a virgin,” Chanwoo huffed out, “And where did you find cereal?”

“Not important, and _be quiet,_ you’re a baby.”

Chanwoo rolled his eyes at the eldest, “You do realize that I’m closer in age to Hanbin than he is with Yunhyeong-hyung, right?”

Jinhwan opened his mouth to continue, but Hanbin’s little murmur cut him off. “Nani-’yung, _shhh.”_

Donghyuk _squawked_ before rushing over to where Hanbin was still sprawled out on Yunhyeong’s chest, “Oh my _gosh,_ so cute.”

 

 

 

The Beta’s sudden movement off the couch snapped Bobby out of his stupor and left him staring at the pair.

That he watched-

Have sex.

_Holy shit._

Yunhyeong’s dick was literally still in Hanbin.

He just watched his best friend get fucked.

He just watched his best friend get _mated._

That was so _messed up._ Why didn’t he fucking just leave? Instead he had sat there like a fucking _weirdo_ and stared at Hanbin getting plowed.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” His voice sounded far away, choked.

Bobby stood up, ignoring the wave of dizziness as he made the quickest escape possible, rushing away from the group and practically running into the bathroom.

He ignored Donghyuk asking if he needed any lotion, which just spurred his frantic movements on even further.

 _Fuck._ Why couldn’t he get the image of Hanbin out his head?

The visual of Hanbin crying and pushing back against Yunhyeong was seared into his brain, whines and whimpers still echoing in his head. Seeing someone that was still registered as _Alpha_ in his head submit so _willingly_ was throwing him so fucking far off.

There had been a point where the confusion had morphed into some fucked up _want._ He didn’t want Hanbin, he didn’t want Hanbin, he didn’t want Hanbin.

_He didn’t want Hanbin._

Fuck, he was so hard.

_His eyes._

Bobby turned the shower on, running the water as cold as he could possible get it before stripping off his clothing as fast as humanly possible and jumping into the freezing spray. The shock of it helped clear the haziness in his head from Hanbin’s scent.

_Hanbin’s scent._

Hanbin’s scent was... _intoxicating._

Fuck. _No._ He was trying to back his boner _go away,_ not jerk off to the thought of his best friend’s scent.

No matter how sweet the scent, his focus shouldn’t have been on Hanbin’s thighs, quivering and covered in his own slick-

**_F U C K._ **

And now he was fisting his dick to the thought of pounding his best friend in the ass. Great.

Minho had said he was against the idea of getting with Seungyoon for similar reasons, but now they were mated and, according to the older rapper, _very_ content with each other.

Ew, no. Thinking about Minho when jerking off was even worse than thinking about Hanbin.

 

Bobby didn’t know how much time had passed when the haze finally cleared. The _jealousy_ was still potent and running through his veins like _ice,_ making him shiver almost as much as the freezing water.

“Yo.”

Bobby jumped at the sound of the door opening, Jinhwan casually striding in while still eating that _fucking_ cereal.

“What the fuck?!” Bobby shrieked, trying in vain to cover up the fact that he had been beating off to the memory of Hanbin getting ass-fucked, _“Christ._ Jinhwan, get the fuck out!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up. You literally walk around the dorm naked,” Jinhwan griped before tossing another handful into his mouth. The eldest was literally just _looking_ at Bobby’s fucking dick with the most nonchalant expression.

“Well, what the hell do you want?!”

“Bin wants you.”

Bobby gave the Beta an incredulous look, what the hell was he supposed to do about it? Invite the object of his conflicted jerk session into the shower with him?

Jinhwan raised an eyebrow at him.

“No,” Bobby groaned, “You’re joking. I’m not _showering_ with him! What the hell?”

“C’mon, you two have showered together how many times before? And he’s all gross and jizzy, plus he wants you. He’s gonna crash soon anyway, his next wave should still have a few hours before, and I’m sure Dong and June have that on lock. You won’t even have to touch him, he’s pretty fucked out right now.”

Could Jinhwan stop fucking _reminding_ him of that? _Please??_

“Look,” Jinhwan continued, “Hanbin probably won’t handle you being away very well. You were the one he was worried about the most, and he’s probably scared of how you’re gonna react. If you’re not gonna help _like that,_ than at least give him this.”

Yeah, him and Hanbin used to shower together all the time, but it wasn’t when he knew Hanbin was an Omega.

In _heat._

But Jinhwan kept staring at him, waiting fo Bobby to crack.

“Fucking _fine._ But I’m not doing anything with him, okay?” Bobby groaned, he couldn’t believe he was having this conversation while he was naked and Jinhwan was eating Lucky Charms.

The Beta shrugged before walking out, looking not even the slightest bit convinced at Bobby’s answer.

Thankfully, that whole exchange had been a total boner kill, so there was that.

Bobby let his forehead hit the tiled wall with a _thunk._ He was even more confused than before.

Why did Hanbin crave his presence so bad? His approval?

Because Bobby was his best friend, that was normal.

_...Right?_

 

By the time Bobby had turned the shower to warm, a knock sounded on the door.

At least _someone_ fucking knew how to knock.

“Come in,” Bobby grunted out, not at all looking forward to this.

Hanbin peaked in through the door, looking thoroughly disheveled, but still content and _soft._

_No. Wrong._

The younger didn’t say anything as he fully stepped into the large bathroom, a slight limp in his walk -because he just got _fucked_ by an Alpha- as he came to stand just in front of the shower.

Bobby couldn’t imagine the almost transparent half-door kept anything actually hidden, but he didn’t want to think about that. Hanbin still didn’t speak, just looked at Bobby with those hazy, blue eyes _-from being fucked-_ as he waited for him to make the move.

Bobby gave a begrudging _huff,_ opening the ‘door’ to let Hanbin in.

It wasn’t until Hanbin flinched at the sound, eyes watering and bottom lip trembling that Bobby thought about just how fragile the younger’s mental state probably was.

“I’m sorry,” He quickly tried to amend, “Just- come here.”

Bobby looked away as Hanbin shedded the boxers, even though he had just stared at the younger naked for the past however long, making room for the other to step under the spray with him.

Trying to ignore the little winces and huffs of air, Bobby had accidently honed in on the mix of scents covering the Omega.

The strongest was undoubtedly Yunhyeong’s, bite mark still fresh on Hanbin’s neck. Underneath that was the layer of Chanwoo’s _apple,_ and even farther under was his own.

Bobby could smell Yunhyeong’s _cum_ from where it was dripping down Hanbin’s things, mixing with the slick there, and _what the fuck?_ That was so fucking _gross._

Hanbin was covered in another Alpha’s scent.

The urge to fix that was too strong, Bobby practically shoving Hanbin’s face against his own neck before he could truly process his actions. Hanbin _melted_ against him, warm and soft and _Omega._

The answering whimper was what snapped Bobby out of it, shoving Hanbin away from him.

It hadn’t been particularly forceful, but Hanbin still hit the wall behind him. The tears were back and he was looking at Bobby with the most unguarded expression, a vulnerability there that matched the _hurt_ and _fear_ in his scent.

Fuck. Bobby was so _torn._

He heard Hanbin’s breath catch when he moved to touch the younger, stupidly resting his hands against the smaller male’s jaw.

It was like his body was moving without him wanting it to, like it was reacting to Hanbin subconsciously.

“Please don’t do this to me,” Hanbin choked out, hands coming up to clutch Bobby’s wrists, “I can’t take it anymore.”

Bobby’s skin was burning in all of the places they were touching. He was hard again, and if he were to look down, he’d see that Hanbin was too.

He moved to pull his hands away, but Hanbin’s murmurs of _pleasepleaseplease_ were forcing him to stay, like a puppet with no control of its own movements.

At the slightest brush of his throat, Hanbin moaned, tilting his head to expose the unmarked side of his neck.

Bobby had never found complete submission to be hot, never liking the idea of someone relying so heavily on him. It was one of the reasons he had only ever felt the desire to do anything with alpha women, never being attracted to Omegas, or even men for that matter.

Hanbin was both of those things.

His eyes held so much naive trust, warring with the bitter scent of _hurt_ that was left lingering, as if Bobby could do anything to him and Hanbin would still come back to him.

Although, that was somewhat true, wasn’t it?

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Bobby mumbled.

“Whatever you’ll give me.”

The rubber band had finally _snapped,_ Bobby’s eyes turning a darker red as he yanked Hanbin forward, making the Omega brace his hands on Bobby’s shoulders to avoid falling. He clumsily wrapped his hand around Hanbin’s erection, trying to get used to the angle before giving up and turning Hanbin around. Bobby used the position to rub his own cock against Hanbin’s ass, fingers wrapping back around the younger in a much more familiar position.

He felt the haze take over once more, pressing his face into the crook of Hanbin’s neck as the Omega moaned. “Who do you belong to? Huh?” Bobby grunted, teeth positioned to mirror Yunhyeong’s mark.

“Yours, yours, yours. _Claim me, please,”_ Hanbin cried out, spilling into Bobby’s hand with a shudder.

Bobby had barely broken skin, mind ablaze with _mineminemine_ when the thought of everything hit him.

This was Hanbin. He was about to mark Hanbin.

Not thinking about the implications of his actions, Bobby pushed himself away, jumping out of the shower and not bothering to dry off as he threw his clothes back on.

_Fuckfuckfuck, where was his fucking hoodie?_

“Hyung?” Came Hanbin’s panicked voice from behind him, forcing Bobby to become even more frantic, “Hyung? Bobby? What are- where are you going? _Jiwon-”_

Bobby was out the door of the suite before he remembered that his hoodie was in the other room, but his room key was thankfully in his jeans. He was so fucking happy that he was switched to room with the manager, Woohyuk having booked a separate room after this whole shitshow went down.

He needed to fucking _get away_ before he lost it.

“Bobby!”

He didn’t turn back until he was already in the elevator, Donghyuk’s disappointed stare the last thing he saw before the doors closed.

But it would never hurt as much as the heartbreak etched on Hanbin’s face as Bobby left.

 

 

 

It hurt.

His whole body hurt.

Hanbin’s knees had buckled just as the door slammed shut, crashing to the floor of the shower and pressing himself against the wall.

Bobby left.

He didn’t want Hanbin. Right? Wrong? Right. He left because he didn’t want him.

His skin _burned,_ Bobby’s scent _choking_ him even under the now cold water.

Bobby’s scent was on him, _why was it on him if Bobby didn’t want him?_

He didn’t _deserve_ to marked by the Alpha, he wasn’t _good enough, why was he never good enough?_

Through the overwhelming wave of _hurtanguishheartbreak,_ Hanbin could hear the door flying open again. He hoped it was Bobby but his heart was crushed again as Yunhyeong’s _panic_ invaded his head. The Alpha was trying to pull Hanbin’s nails away from where they had been clawing at the barely there mark Bobby had left, hoping to just _remove the damn thing._

Hanbin’s head was all _fucked up_ and soon all he could smell was the _spicy wood_ of Yunhyeong’s scent, usually so different from Bobby’s own _smokey pine,_ but now the two earthy scents were blending in his head, the Alpha’s touch sending him into a frenzy of panic.

He lashed out, trying to shake the Alpha’s hands off of him. Half of his brain was telling him that _his mate was in front of him_ but the other half was just screaming that _his mate was gonegonegone._

The water was turned off and the soft, warm hands were traded for larger ones, a whole new scent joining the mix as Hanbin was gently pulled out of the shower and wrapped in a fluffy towel. The Alpha’s scent was so strikingly opposite of the others, _crisp leather_ dulling his senses as Hanbin was finally able to place the scent as Junhoe.

Hanbin wished he would just start crying, or _something,_ but all he could do was shake in Junhoe’s arms, wishing that it were Bobby there with him instead.

The stabbing pain from before was back, his chest felt like it would capsize with each inhale. It was almost as if there were too many emotions to show, so instead Hanbin did what he knew best and pushed them all away. He couldn’t be upset about losing Bobby.

Bobby was never _his_ in the first place.

_Ouch._

He was in so much pain, physical and emotional, that his brain just gave up. He almost wished it was a drop, because then he could hide behind the floaty feeling, rather than be wrapped in the suffocating blanket of numbness.

Yunhyeong tentatively moved toward him again, but Hanbin had already brought the walls back up. He let both Alphas fuss over him, gently rubbing his hair with a towel and trying to calm his shivering. Jinhwan joined them, and the three of them forced him into a new pair of underwear and a t-shirt.

When Hanbin finally looked at one of them, Yunhyeong could see the way the younger was back to the guarded and closed-off way he had been before Yunhyeong had gently pried his way in.

“Why doesn’t he want me?” Hanbin asked, voice soft and flat. Of course, he didn’t get an answer, only Bobby could give him that, but Bobby wasn’t there.

They both told him it was a bad idea, not to push him, but he did it anyway.

_He just hadn’t expected Bobby to-_

“Are you...okay?” Jinhwan questioned, not knowing what else to say.

Hanbin shrugged, too tired to even care at that point, “Can I go to sleep? If I stay standing up, I’m gonna puke.”

“What about-”

“Don’t know, don’t care. Goodnight.” Hanbin pushed past the other three, leaving the chilled bathroom and almost bumping into the youngest two Betas.

They were looking at him with so many questions in their eyes, but Hanbin only shrugged again. Both followed him into the bedroom, Donghyuk with an arm around his back as Chanwoo gently squeezed his shaking hand.

He stripped off the shirt, not caring where it landed as he crawled into the center of the bed. As he was trying to bury himself under the covers, he caught sight of the bunched up hoodie lying just to the side of him.

It was the hoodie Bobby had been wearing.

Donghyuk slide in behind him as Hanbin reached out to grab the item, burying his face into it as the shaking increased. He felt Chanwoo move to tuck his head under his chin, and suddenly he was pressed between the two Betas.

His chest was heaving, but still no tears came out. Hanbin felt Donghyuk place a hand over his chest, the Beta pressing him as flush against him as possible. If he were to take his face away from the hoodie, Hanbin would have noticed the calming scent both Betas were putting out, each trying to gently cover him in it.

 _“Why?”_ Hanbin gasped out, words muffled by the fabric. He was trying to catch his breath but each one was coming out choked and watery, Bobby’s scent filling his lungs and making his chest hurt _even more,_ but he just couldn’t let the stupid fucking thing go.

“It’ll all work out,” Donghyuk whispered against his neck, breath barely grazing the mark there, but Hanbin barely heard it over the sound of his own stuttering inhales, sobs finally being ripped from his chest, one by one.

Hanbin hoped he was right.

_”I’ll never leave you. I promise, I promise, I promise. Never again, Bin.”_

Liar.

 

No one noticed the gold ringing his pupils.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably won’t be as DICKDICKDICK as other ABOs just bc I wanted to focus more on the plot (however shitty it may be) than the sex. 
> 
> I love how many people feel awkward about Chanu in sexy situations lmao. He’s actually like 15 months younger than Bin, and Hanbin is 20 months younger than Yun?? I think. Whatever.  
> Sorry to BinHwan shippers out there, just not rly my style ya feel. 
> 
> Someone wanted Bin getting dicked in front of the others, so I hope you’re fucking happy Ki because I want to kms now. 
> 
> (And I’m gonna pretend that I thought this through, mating bites go on the neck over the scent gland, usually by an alpha while knotting an omega. A bonding bite would go on the shoulder, doesn’t have to be during sex but can only be done by pack Alpha. Please pretend this makes sense, I’m too lazy to actually work it out pls and thankyu.)


	7. It feels like I forced myself into your heart, but it didn’t have a place for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faults are debated and ‘sorry’s are exchanged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Just Go - iKON 
> 
> Y’all this...this is something.  
> I wrote about half of this while I was drunk. I would just like that to be known. 
> 
> Also, a lot of y’all were mad at Bobby, but only one person expressed their unhappiness with Yun.  
> To the user that comments as @bb, you’re the G, your comment was practically spot on and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer haha. 
> 
> The miscommunication tag is there for a reason

Donghyuk woke up in a rather ungraceful way.

Namely, getting a knee to the stomach and falling off of the bed.

“Hyung?” Came Chanwoo’s half-asleep mumble, the Beta pushing himself up to see what had happened, “Hyung? Hanbin? What’s wrong?”

Donghyuk hurried back to his spot at the panic in Chanwoo’s voice. The maknae was trying to wake Hanbin up, but wasn’t having much luck.

Hanbin was shaking and crying out in his sleep, there was a sheen of sweat on his chest as he kept mumbling and thrashing.

The words _Jiwon_ and _Yun_ were the most distinguishable, Hanbin whining out the two Alphas’ names like it pained him.

“Is he okay? Should we get Yunhyeong-hyung? We should probably get him. I’m gonna go get him,” Chanwoo rambled, scrambling to get off the bed before rushing out the door.

_Okay, don’t panic._

Hanbin promptly burst into tears, the bitter scent of _grief_ taking over the sweet smell of his heat. Donghyuk didn’t know what else to do besides pulling Hanbin into his arms to try and calm the panicked movements.

“It hurts, it _hurts._ Hyung- _Ji-_ _hurts,”_ Hanbin sobbed against Donghyuk’s neck, the Beta dragging them both into a sitting position as Yunhyeong and Chanwoo hurried back in.

The Alpha immediately pulled Hanbin away from him, “Hanbin, pup, you’re okay. Shhh,” Yunhyeong cooed, the tremor in his voice at war with the _calm_ of his scent, “Hanbinnie, please stop crying, you’re okay.”

“Is he spiking again?” Donghyuk asked, “Where’s Jinhwan-hyung? Should we get him?” Donghyuk kept looking from Hanbin to Chanwoo to Yunhyeong, and then back to Hanbin. Chanwoo looked just as uncertain as he felt, even if the maknae probably had the most experience dealing with heats.

“Jinhwan and Junhoe went back to their room,” Yunhyeong answer, “Fuck- I can’t get him to calm down.”

Hearing the curse slip out of the Alpha’s mouth shocked him, but then Donghyuk noticed just how bad his hands were shaking, how scared he looked.

Hanbin was still crying against Yunhyeong’s shoulder, chest heaving with the force of his sobs and scent growing more pained by the second.

He kept whining out both Yunhyeong and Bobby’s names, along with the pained cries of _Alpha_ and _hyung._

“Hyung- Bite his- his neck. Bite the mark,” Chanwoo tried, “It should settle him.”

Yunhyeong’s eyes darted to meet Chanwoo’s, “What-?”

“Just do it!”

Biting down in the same place he put the mating bite, Yunhyeong felt Hanbin freeze in his arms, eyes still squeezed shut. The Omega was still gasping, but the violent thrashing finally stopped as Yunhyeong pulled his teeth away from the younger’s neck.

Donghyuk was _terrified._ Seeing Hanbin falling apart like this was _terrifying._ Hanbin was the strongest person Donghyuk knew.

Hands came up to clutch at Yunhyeong’s back, fingers tangling into the t-shirt the Alpha was wearing.

“I- I h-hate this,” Hanbin sobbed, but they were all relieved that he was slightly less hysterical, at least able to choke the words out, even if his breaths were still coming in raspy and broken.

Donghyuk scooted to be sat in front of the two, pulling Hanbin’s face away from Yunhyeong’s neck and against his own, “Shhhh, you need to breathe.”

 

But Hanbin _couldn’t_ breathe. That was the whole fucking problem. All he could think about was _firefirefire_ and how bad it _burned._ His lungs felt like they were filled with smoke, he could practically taste it because it was _everywhere._ His skin was _crawling_ and he felt _scared_ and _sick_ and _wrong._ He felt _wrong._ He felt so fucking wrong and he didn’t know _why._

“Hanbin, breathe in.”

He _couldn’t._ He couldn’t _breathe._

_“Breathe in.”_

His body forced a choppy inhale, he couldn’t stop shaking.

_“Breathe out.”_

He let it go, he could feel the blood rushing to his head.

_“Breathe in.”_

He was going to pass out. He was going to pass out.

“Hanbin. _Breathe.”_

Another stuttering inhale, but this time Hanbin didn’t need to be told when to let it go. He was slowly becoming aware of Donghyuk’s hands gripping his, the low rumble of Yunhyeong’s voice next to his ears, Chanwoo’s own panicked breaths.

He forced his eyes open, blue irises darting around the room, even though he didn’t know what he was searching for.

His teeth were chattering.

He couldn’t stop shaking.

He felt _sick._

“What- What’s wrong- with me? W-Why- I _can’t-”_

He couldn’t calm down.

 

Hanbin was still gasping and shaking and stuttering, even with Yunhyeong behind him, practically controlling his breaths.

Chanwoo was just as scared as Donghyuk, maybe _more._ He liked having control over situations, liked knowing what exactly was happening, when it was happening, and _why_ it was happening.

He was trying so desperately to come up with a _reason_ for why Hanbin was like this.

_Oh._

Hanbin was crying for _Bobby_ just as much as he was crying for Yunhyeong. Hanbin wanted Bobby, but Bobby wasn’t here.

Bobby wasn’t here, but maybe his scent would still help?

Chanwoo jumped off the bed, ignoring Yunhyeong and Donghyuk’s frantic and questioning eyes as he circled the bed.

After Hanbin had cried into Bobby’s hoodie for the better part of an hour last night, he threw the item as far away from the bed as he could before curling back up between the two Betas.

Not having the Alpha’s scent around him was throwing his body into _panic mode,_ even if being near it caused the same effect.

_Where was it?_

“Chanwoo, what are you-?”

_There. Behind the chair._

Chanwoo grabbed the discarded item and rushed back to where the other three were on the bed, but Hanbin pushed his hands away when he tried to give the hoodie to him.

“No- D-Don’t want-”

“What are you doing?” Donghyuk’s voice was pitched even higher than normal, “You’re gonna freak him out again!”

“Trust me!” Chanwoo cried, giving the other beta a pleading look. With the help of the other two, Chanwoo was able to pull the hoodie onto Hanbin’s shaking body before pushing him back into Yunhyeong’s arms, the Omega’s eyes now a mix between their normal Omega blue and a rich gold.

When Hanbin relaxed, just the _slightest_ bit, against the Alpha, Chanwoo let his body fall against Donghyuk, burying his face into the older Beta’s neck.

 

Bobby’s scent was relaxing and fear-inducing. The smell brought back memories of what had happened at the awards show, made Hanbin’s temple throb and his head spin with the desire to _get away._

But not having the scent covering him was _worse._ It was a paranoia that ripped the air from his lungs and made his whole body tremble.

Somehow, the heavy smoke in his lungs disappeared when _Bobby’s_ smokey scent filled them instead.

He felt like he had no control over his body. He felt so _wrong._

“Hey, hey, hey,” Yunhyeong whispered against his hair, “It’s okay, Binnie. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.”

Hanbin’s chest hurt, but Bobby’s hoodie was helping it while also making it worse. The stabbing pain in his stomach and chest and back and head and _everywhere_ turned into a dull ache, but he felt so _empty._

_Wrong._

Before he could really think to say anything, the _fire_ returned, even stronger than before but somehow weaker. The feeling was more potent, but thankfully _burned_ less than it had.

“Pup, I think you’re spiking again.”

_Oh._

Hanbin tried to focus on lessening the disconnect he felt between his mind and body.

The fabric of Bobby’s hoodie was cold from lying on the floor, it made his too-hot skin slightly less painful. His muscles hurt, they were contracting and loosening in tandem with his overly-controlled breathing. His chest burned when he inhaled. His hands were still shaking. There was slick on the back of his thighs. Chanwoo was crying against Donghyuk’s neck. Hanbin wasn’t crying anymore.

His thoughts were running a mile a minute. He was spiking. He felt hot. He felt sick.

 

“Hanbin, I’m gonna lay you down, okay?”

Hanbin whimpered, hands latching onto Yunhyeong’s biceps as the Alpha tried to pull Hanbin away from him.

Yunhyeong looked to the two Betas, looking for help even though _he_ was supposed to be able to handle the situation.

“Lay him down against you,” Donghyuk said, wiping the remaining tears off of Chanwoo’s face.

Yunhyeong moved to settle back against the pillows, pulling Hanbin against his chest and he moved the younger’s sweaty hair out of his face, “Are you okay, Bin?”

 

Hanbin gave a small nod against his shoulder, taking overly-measured breaths in an effort to not mess up the even _in out in out in out_ he was finally able to maintain. He felt like throwing up at the idea of being knotted right now, he didn’t know _why,_ just knew that it sent sparks of anxiety running through his body.

“Do you want us to help?” Yunhyeong asked slowly, carefully.

What Hanbin _wanted_ was to go back on his suppressants. He hated this. “Can- just Chanu and Hyuk?” He didn’t want to be touched, but he knew that was the only way to make the feeling go away.

Thankfully, there was no flashes of _hurt_ or _rejection_ from Yunhyeong, just the elder rubbing his back and whispering reassurances into his hair, “Of course, Bin. Do you want me to stay?”

“Please,” Hanbin choked out. He didn’t want to deal with this, hated _life_ for playing this sick fucking joke on him.

He knew that life wasn’t fair, not everyone got dealt the same cards, but he felt like he had gotten an exceptionally shitty hand. He was horrible at dealing with emotions, could only express how he felt through lyrics or yelling. He was a shitty leader. He was a shitty _Omega._

His father hated him. People hated him _because_ of his father.

Bobby didn’t hate him, at least he prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that Bobby didn’t hate him. Even if the rapper had-

What had he done?

_Everything. Nothing?_

He didn’t _know._

Hanbin was scared.

He could handle Yunhyeong’s almost rash decisiveness, he could handle Donghyuk’s eagerness, could handle Junhoe’s desire to prove himself.

He could even handle Jinhwan’s forced indifference, even if it felt like a knife twisted into his heart.

He understood. Hanbin knew what they thought, _why_ they did.

But where did he stand with Bobby?

The rejection was still running through his veins, something thick and cold and _dark._

He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough.

He’ll never be good enough.

It’ll always be his fault.

Always his fault.

_Always-_

_Someone was touching_ _him why was someone_ touching _him-_

“Hanbin, you’re working yourself up again, it’s okay. You need to calm down. Donghyuk isn’t going to hurt you.”

Donghyuk. Donghyuk was safe.

 

“Wait,” Chanwoo blurted, effectively stopping Donghyuk’s hands, “I don’t know anything about male Omegas. Can they- can he-?”

“Chanwoo, _breathe._ What are you asking, pup?” Yunhyeong questioned.

“Yenno. Can he...get _pregnant?”_

Yunhyeong froze, that thought hadn’t even crossed his mind last night. _Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god._ He had knotted Hanbin without using a condom or even _asking_ Hanbin if he was okay with it. He was thinking with his dick instead of with his head.

“On b-birth control,” Hanbin muttered, not taking his face away from Yunhyeong’s neck.

“Okay,” Donghyuk drawled, “But if your suppressants failed, than how can we know that the birth control won’t?”

“Don’t care. _Do something.”_

 

- 

 

“Hanbin, you have to eat.”

“No.”

“I didn’t ask. You’re going to eat.”

“No point. I’ll just throw up, again.”

Jinhwan pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling himself get frustrated with Hanbin, but knowing that yelling at him would be a horrible idea. 

Hanbin turned back into Donghyuk’s side, flipping the blankets over his head and effectively telling Jinhwan to _fuck off._ His body still hurt after the _hell_ that was waking up that morning, and he could already feel that he was going to end up going through it again, very soon.

Donghyuk gave Jinhwan a helpless shrug, he had tried getting Hanbin to eat when they had woken up (the second time), but apparently that had ended up with Hanbin locking himself in the bathroom for almost an hour.

Chanwoo had explained much of what had happened last night and early that morning, between Hanbin breaking down and his heat spiking again, to passing out and then _Yunhyeong_ breaking down in the kitchen at 4 AM.

It was now noon, and Yunhyeong was still a mess.

If Jinhwan couldn’t get through to Hanbin, he sure as shit was going to figure out what was wrong with Yunhyeong.

 _Fuck._ He needed a drink.

Walking into the kitchen, Jinhwan immediately spotted Yunhyeong stress eating.

Woohyuk had gotten the kitchen fully stocked, promising to re-up if they called needing more.

And now Yunhyeong was crying into a bowl of Lucky Charms.

He wondered if it would be too much to ask for room service to bring him a bottle of soju.

“Yunhyeong. What are you doing?”

The Alpha looked up at him with the most pathetic _kicked-puppy_ look Jinhwan had ever seen.

“I’m drowning my sorrows in cereal,” Yunhyeong mumbled around the spoon in his mouth.

Jinhwan sighed, taking a seat at the table across from the younger. Guess it was time for him to play _Pack-Beta._

“Spill. What’s wrong?”

Yunhyeong swallowed, letting the spoon fall back into the bowl as he looked down at it. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before actually answering, “I messed up. I _really_ messed up, hyung.”

 _Right._ Jinhwan was a hyung first, Beta second.

“How did you mess up?” Jinhwan asked, trying to keep his voice level.

“I took advantage of Hanbin,” Yunhyeong blurted out, eyes wide as he slapped a hand over his mouth, but it was already too late. The dam had broken. “Last night whenever I mated him I didn’t even ask for his consent before knotting him and I didn’t use a condom. What if he gets pregnant? Can he even get pregnant? He said he was on birth control but then Donghyuk brought up how his suppressants stopped working, so how do we know that the birth control worked? And then to make everything even _worse,_ I snapped at Bobby. I snapped at him _twice._ And I kept egging him on and goading him to try and get him to realize that he was Hanbin’s Alpha but all I did was make everything more complicated. And like a stupid _idiot_ I let Hanbin pursue him after Bobby had left because my stupid _idiot_ Alpha brain thought that Hanbin being that close to Bobby would make him understand but all I ended up doing was hurting both of them and this morning Chanwoo woke me up because Hanbin was _in pain,_ hyung, it was literally hurting him. I did that! It was my fault! It was my f-fault.”

Jinhwan blinked.

He blinked again.

And Yunhyeong promptly bursted into tears.

Jinhwan blinked _again._

He really needed that drink.

“O-kaaaaay. Starting from the beginning, Hanbin and birth control. What do we do about that?” Jinhwan tried, not quite knowing how to comfort the Alpha.

Yunhyeong sniffled, “Well, I may or may not have called manager-hyung this morning freaking out, so he’s going to overnight a generic brand, but he recommends that we still take Hanbin to get an actual prescription when this is done.”

Jinhwan nodded his understanding, they already planned on taking Hanbin to get checked up, might as well get that knocked out, too. “Now onto Bobby. Yeah, you really messed up there.”

He watched Yunhyeong deflate.

 _“-But,_ we all messed up. This wasn’t a scenario that we could plan for. This wasn’t something any of us saw coming. The only one that knew was Hanbin, and it was his choice to keep it from us, but now we can understand why he did. You were thrown into the hot-seat here, you’re going to make mistakes. But we’re _all_ going to make mistakes. We’re a family, we’re going to end up hurting each other, sometimes, but we’ll work through it. We _have_ to.”

Yunhyeong didn’t answer him right away, and Jinhwan realized just how hypocritical he was being, before.

Here he was preaching about not blaming anyone, yet he had been pushing his own feelings aside, treating the others with such a fake _nothingness._

He was still hurt by Hanbin, even though he knew that it wasn’t right to blame the younger.

...But some traitorous part of him couldn’t help but think-

Why wouldn’t Hanbin just _tell_ them?

“Yunhyeong, I think there’s a lot that we have to talk about.”

 

* * *

  

Bobby paced the length of his hotel room, one hand gripping his phone and the other tapping out a random pattern on his thigh.

It was helping to ground him, and now he understood why Hanbin did it so often.

_Hanbin._

_God,_ he had messed up.

He was just so fucking _confused._

Was he attracted to Hanbin? Yes. He would say that they were all pretty good looking guys.

Did the idea of Hanbin being an Omega upset him?

No?

He didn’t think so, at least. The idea of following an Omega didn’t bother him, hadn’t since he was 16 and didn’t understand that it took more than a stupid dynamic to be a good leader.

Was he hurt that Hanbin didn’t tell him?

_Sorta?_

Bobby could understand _why_ Hanbin had kept it hidden, but understanding wouldn’t stop the small lingering sense of _hurt._

He was just-

So confused.

Finally stopping his pacing, Bobby scrolled through his contacts before coming to a stop, clicking the name and letting the phone ring.

He knew this person wouldn’t judge him, but wouldn’t hold anything back, either.

_“Hello? Bobby?”_

“Ah, Minho. I need to talk to you, is now not a good time?”

_“One sec, Yoon and Jinwoo are sleeping- Lemme just-”_

“Sleeping?” Bobby asked, “It’s past noon?”

_“Yeah, Yoonie’s heat came early, think it was triggered by Hanbin’s.”_

Oh, Bobby guessed that made sense.

Omegas didn’t just go into heat when around another Omega that was, but since Hanbin’s was so strong, and Seungyoon was probably close to his own, the likelihood of that being the case was very high.

_“Speaking of, how is Hanbin?”_

How was Hanbin?

Bobby wouldn’t know, considering he had run out of the room in panic last night, hair still dripping and clothes stuck to his soaking wet skin.

_“Bobby? Still there, man?”_

“Y-Yeah, yeah. I’m here,” Bobby mumbled, “And actually, I wanted to talk to you. About Hanbin…”

_“For the love of- Please don’t tell me you’re back in Seoul?”_

“No! No. I’m still here. I’m just-”

_“Just what?”_

Bobby sighed, he should just get this over with.

“Okay, I’m just gonna spill it. Feel free to call me a fucking idiot when I’m done.”

He took a deep breath,

“So, last night. Bin’s heat hit, just like Seungyoon said it would, but before that we talked, a bit. Nothing too deep, but at least enough to acknowledge that we needed _to_ talk. Well, we found out why Hanbin didn’t tell us, and everything kind of felt a bit better, after that? Like, I don’t know. Now it seemed justified, I guess, which is probably a pretty messed up way of looking at it but I don’t know what else to think.

“Anyway, after that, Yunhyeong talked to the rest of us about mating, and he said that he was going to mate Hanbin, and then asked us about bonding. I know for sure that I want to bond, but everything else seems so... _weird?_ Uh, after that, Yunhyeong bit him and, uh...knotted him...and I just- I couldn’t be around it anymore, so I hopped in the shower for a bit. Except...the omega pheromones had, uh, yeah. Well, long story short, Hanbin and I did... _something_ in the shower before I freaked out and ran out and now I’m in my hotel room freaking out some more.”

Bobby held his breath, just listening to the static on the other end of the line.

_“You...are a fucking idiot.”_

“I _know,”_ Bobby groaned, “That doesn’t help. Why am I so torn over this?”

He heard Minho sigh, long and slow like Bobby had just asked the dumbest question ever.

_“Bobby, you’re his Alpha. Do I have to spell it out?”_

“I’m not-”

_“No. Listen to me. You’re Hanbin’s Alpha. It doesn’t matter if he’s mated to Yunhyeong. Look at it this way. We all have Seunghoon’s bite, but Yoonie’s is a mating bite, and he also has mine. Even if he doesn’t have one from Jinwoo, that doesn’t mean they don’t treat each other the same way we do. Same thing goes for how I treat the other two.”_

Bobby guessed that made sense. It was fairly common that Omegas of a pack carried two (or more) mating bites, and especially now that mating between an entire pack was starting to become more mainstream in South Korea.

Other than WINNER, Bobby knew that both BTS and Monsta X were poly-packs, and he vaguely recalled hearing that half of GOT7 was mated in much the same way.

_“And just because my first instinct is Yoon, doesn’t mean I care about the other two any less. Seungyoon is the only Omega in our group, right? So when Seunghoon or I go into rut, Yoon helps us both out. And when he goes into heat, we both help him. Jinwoo-hyung helps with both, but he can’t take a knot and doesn’t have one.”_

“Don’t you get...jealous? About Seunghoon and Yoon?” Bobby questioned, that was the part that kept tripping him up.

_“I used to, but since Seunghoon-hyung was the first to help Yoon through his heats, and because I refused to, I didn’t really have a right to be jealous. Seungyoon loves both of us, all of us. There’s things that Seunghoon can give him that I can’t, just like there are things that I can that he can’t, and things that Jinwoo can that neither of us can do. That works both ways. That’s why we’re a pack, because we need each other.”_

“Okay...So let’s say I _am_ Hanbin’s Alpha-”

 

* * *

 

“Are you fucking happy now?” Hanbin grumbled, pushing away the half empty plate of food and leaning against Junhoe’s side.

The Alpha stilled at the contact, not quite expecting it, even though he had asked both Hanbin and Yunhyeong if he could help with Hanbin’s next wave.

Yunhyeong looked almost _relieved_ at the thought, and had given Junhoe his consent, whereas the Omega just flippantly shrugged, seeming to have had it with all of the cramping.

Jinhwan made a joke that Hanbin was PMSing, and they all expected him to shoot back that Jinhwan _always_ seemed to be, then, but instead Hanbin had started crying.

It wasn’t sad crying, more ‘there’s too many emotions for my body to handle so I’m just gonna cry,’ crying. Hanbin seemed rather annoyed with the rapid mood swings, going from anxious to annoyed to sad, all within the span of a few minutes.

Jinhwan had just finally convinced Hanbin to eat something before it was too late, the leader glaring and grumbling the whole time.

When Junhoe’s hand lightly brushed the small of Hanbin’s back, the Omega sucked in a quick breath, letting it out in a quiet whine.

 _“Fuck,”_ Hanbin gasped, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he curled forward on the couch, hiding his face against his knees.

Junhoe looked to Jinhwan in panic, but the beta was sipping on his glass of soju, “Looks like it’s your time to shine, kid.”

_Fuck, indeed._

When Junhoe didn’t move, Jinhwan downed the remaining liquid in the glass before crouching in front of Hanbin. He ran his fingers through Hanbin’s hair before resting both hands on the rapper’s back, one massaging the nape of his neck. “Okay, Hanbin. June’s gonna take you into the other room and-”

“And he’s going to fuck me, _I know._ Can we just get this over with?” Hanbin groaned, still not uncurling.

 

Jinhwan forced himself to take a deep breath. _It’s not Hanbin’s fault. Any of us would be pissy. Don’t snap._

“S-Sorry.”

Hanbin was now looking at the Beta, bright blue eyes watery and bottom lip trembling slightly.

Jinhwan felt all of the irritation bleed out as he immediately pulled Hanbin into a hug. Even if he had seen Hanbin cry more times in the past day than he had in the eight years of knowing him, the sight of Hanbin’s distress still pulled out some weird urge to _protect._

It was a somewhat foreign instinct. Since Jinhwan never had a good sense of smell, it was harder for him to pick up on emotions in the same way the others could, and with Hanbin’s actual scent being hidden, that made him even more impossible to read, especially since the kid had mastered his poker-face.

Seeing such outright emotion on the younger’s face pulled forward all of his _Beta_ instincts that had sat relatively dormant over the years.

“No, don’t apologize. I know this is hard on you, and I’m trying to be more understanding, so just give me a bit of time to adjust.”

 

Hanbin’s hands fisted in the back of the Beta’s shirt as he hid his face against Jinhwan’s shoulder. The subtle _lemon_ had never pulled a strong emotion from him, but much unlike the Beta’s _actual_ personality, the scent always felt neutral, and honest.

“Will you stay with me?” Hanbin asked, still not pulling his face back, instead tugging Jinhwan even closer.

Jinhwan moved to stand up from his crouching position, forcing Hanbin to stand up with him. The rapper winced, tightening his grip as soon he was upright.

“If you want me to, I will.” Jinhwan said, motioning to Junhoe to come up behind Hanbin, “Ju-ne is gonna pick you up now, okay?” Hanbin nodded against his shoulder, waiting until Junhoe was directly behind him to spin around and latch himself onto the Alpha.

Hanbin noticed the _surprise_ in Junhoe’s scent, but then it shifted into a warmer note. He liked all of their scents, but Junhoe’s was the most _him._ The warm _leather_ was equal parts _exciting_ as it was _secure_ to Hanbin, combined with the _dark chocolate_ that shifted from sweet to bitter to burnt, just like Junhoe. _Strong,_ but gentle. _Bitter,_ but _sweet. Dangerous,_ but _safe._

Hanbin latched onto that feeling, trying to drown out the anxiety that wouldn’t leave no matter what he did. He was still wearing Bobby’s hoodie, couldn’t take it off without breaking down like a little _bitch._ He had practically forced Yunhyeong to scent mark him earlier, mainly because the Alpha seemed to be avoiding him, and that was only making the paranoia _worse._

Junhoe’s hands were slow, _cautious,_ as they trailed down Hanbin’s back, stopping just above his ass.

Jinhwan groaned, literally grabbing Junhoe’s hands and placing them on Hanbin’s thighs, forcing the Alpha to crouch down slightly and both of them to freeze.

 _“Please,”_ Hanbin could feel his cheeks burning from embarrassment, not only from the whine he just let out, but also for the fact that his thighs were absolutely coated in slick now, making his shorts stick and Junhoe would definitely be able to feel it, _smell_ it.

He didn’t have much time to curse Jinhwan before Junhoe was lifting him up like he weighed _nothing,_ and his brain blanked.

The Omega in him was _purring_ at the idea of Junhoe being able to throw him around like that, but then he remembered all of the times Junhoe had _yelled_ at him, had actually thrown him around because they were fighting.

He knew it wasn’t Junhoe’s fault, had simply been the product of two ‘Alphas’ arguing with each other, but Hanbin couldn’t stop his body from freezing and his breath from catching in his throat.

 

Jinhwan hadn’t noticed, but Junhoe did, the Alpha trying his hardest to release as many _calming_ and _secure_ pheromones as he could, trying to soothe the sudden spike of _fear_ in Hanbin’s scent.

It worked, only a few seconds going by before Hanbin relaxed against him, taking a heavy inhale and releasing it against his neck. Junhoe was determined not to fuck this up, every instinct in him screaming to keep the Omega _safe._

But he had to remember, this was Hanbin. Hanbin wasn’t like normal Omegas.

With a confused glance from the Beta, Junhoe took that as his cue to move into the bedroom, keeping his pace slow and steady.

Hanbin’s scent really was intoxicating, but thankfully Junhoe’s instincts seemed more set on making the Omega _happy,_ rather than making the Omega _his._

Jinhwan didn’t seem to be affected at all by it, but Junhoe figured that was just another weird Jinhwan-thing, not because he was a Beta. Both Donghyuk and Chanwoo had shared their feelings about it with him while briefing the Alpha on what to do.

(The two Betas were now laying curled together on one of the couches, absolutely exhausted after what happeded earlier.)

Maybe the advice would have been better from Yunhyeong, but the Alpha had gone back to his room to shower and sleep. Jinhwan claimed that he needed space to figure some things out, and to give him time.

But they didn’t really _have_ time for that.

Couldn’t they see that every second Hanbin spent away from either of the two Alphas was going to hurt him more?

They all really needed to get their shit together.

Bobby and him already talked about why they were always at each others throats, knew that having two unbonded Alphas around each other so often could lead to arguments like that, and they were in a group with _four._

Well.

Three.

Junhoe set Hanbin down on the bed, right next to where Jinhwan was already seated, as the Beta pulled Hanbin back against his propped up chest, pulling another tearful whine from the Omega as he pressed himself against the eldest.

“Here,” Jinhwan said, tossing a small item to Junhoe after the Alpha finished stripping his shirt off, “Knotting comdom, just to be sure.” He didn’t need to sit through another tearful talk with Yunhyeong.

_Right._

Junhoe was going to knot Hanbin. _Okay._

...But he had no idea what he was doing.

Jinhwan caught the Alpha’s hesitation, “Bin-ah, do you want Ju-ne to start?” He asked, petting the back of the Omega’s head.

Hanbin snorted, “I’m n-not gonna break,” the note of impatience in his tone warring with the shakiness of his voice.

The words, filled with _defiance_ and _snark_ , caused a smirk to form on Junhoe’s face. His movements gained slightly more courage as he rested his hands on Hanbin’s knees, spreading the Omega’s legs apart as he settled between them.

 

Hanbin wavered slightly, still not far enough into the wave to have lost himself to the pull of the Alpha, as he found himself wanting to fight back.

_To tease._

It was something about Junhoe’s scent, his personality, that made Hanbin feel like he could _do_ just that, lose himself to the feeling for a while and just let go.

“S-Sure you can handle it, _kid?”_ Hanbin gasped out, feeling Jinhwan nosing at his neck, right over Yunhyeong’s mark.

Junhoe didn’t answer, just shifted his wrists so his fingertips could slide up the outside of Hanbin’s thighs, under the loose fabric of his shorts, pulling a light shock of an inhale from the rapper.

“Sure you wanna tease him?” Jinhwan joked back, knowing just how aggressive Junhoe could get.

The hands moved up again, fingers slidding under Bobby’s hoodie as they tried to remove the article of clothing.

“Wait-” Hanbin cried, gripping onto Junhoe’s hands, “I- I can’t.”

He didn’t think he’d be able to fight off the _wrong_ feeling for long enough to get to the height of this wave.

 

“That’s okay, it can stay,” Jinhwan said, shooting Junhoe a warning glare, as if he thought Hanbin wearing another Alpha’s _hoodie_ would be a deal breaker, as if the Omega wasn’t already carrying a mating bite.

Junhoe didn’t feel that possessiveness over Hanbin, not like Yunhyeong and Bobby, even _Donghyuk,_ did.

To Junhoe, Hanbin wasn’t just someone that rolled over, never had been. After he had gotten over the initial shock of Hanbin being an Omega, he remembered that he was still just Hanbin. He was still the same person that fought against Junhoe, could handle himself against either of the three Alphas in their group, had for years.

But that didn’t mean he had to keep fighting against them.

Junhoe exhaled, rubbing his thumbs over the dips of Hanbin’s hip bones, hooking his fingers under the elastic of Hanbin’s bottoms, waiting for the small nod from the Omega before slidding both his shorts and underwear down.

He wasn’t quite sure about how being with an Omega in heat would affect him, but he considered his stamina to be pretty good, even if his experiences were limited to one person, so hopefully he would be enough to finish this wave off without the other Alphas being there.

Hanbin stared at him with half closed, fever-bright eyes and a note of desperation twisting his mouth into a grimace.

As soon as one of Junhoe’s fingers slides over the back of his thigh, running a line through the slick there as he made his way towards Hanbin’s hole, the Omega under him froze, causing Junhoe to pause again, scared of upsetting the rapper.

And then Hanbin _moaned._

Something long and desperate and _broken_ as the heaviness of his scent multiplied.

The feeling swept over Hanbin, through him, hitting him like a tidal wave and leaving behind a devastating wreckage.

“I need-” Hanbin gasped, feeling Jinhwan’s cold fingers sliding under Bobby’s hoodie, leaving ice trails along his burning skin, _“Now.”_

 

* * *

 

Bobby startled awake, jumping into a sitting position on the bed, sheets tangled around his waist and chest heaving.

There was a terrifying, disorientating second where he had no memory of where he was, or why the room didn’t carry any scents other than his own.

A knock on the door echoed through the room, which was probably what had woken him up.

It took a few seconds before the memories of the past few days came back-

He groaned.

“Bobby? Are you there? It’s, uh- It’s me. Could you open the door? Unless you flew back, then I’m just kind of standing here like an idiot…”

Yunhyeong was the one knocking on his door.

Bobby saw two options present themselves.

He could either ignore the knocking and make the other Alpha think he had left, or he could face the problem head on and open the door.

One option was the easy thing to do, but Bobby knew he should pick the _right_ thing and listen to what Yunhyeong had to say.

“Hold on.”

Bobby didn’t want to talk to Yunhyeong, he didn’t want to talk to _anyone._

He wanted to sit by himself and figure out the mess in his head.

Minho’s words had untwisted all of his thoughts, and then recoiled them into a whole _new_ tangle of emotions, and Bobby was caught in the middle of it all.

The first thing to hit him when he opened to door was the look in Yunhyeong’s eyes. The Alpha normally kept such a bright _warmth_ in them, but right now all they held was a cold _regret,_ framed by furrowed eyebrows and joined by the bitterness of his scent.

“I-,” Yunhyeong started before his eyes darted around the hallway, “Could I come in?”

Bobby stepped aside, letting the older Alpha in while still not trusting himself to speak.

Who was in the wrong here?

Bobby knew the answer to that, knew it was his fault, knew he should be the one to say it first-

“I’m sorry,” Yunhyeong said, ignoring Bobby’s look of confusion as he continued, “I’m really sorry. I messed up. Like, I really messed up. I don’t regret helping Hanbin, or mating him, but I should have been more considerate of your feelings. Just because I was sure with what I wanted, didn’t mean that you would be, or that you had to be. I was too excited finding out that Hanbin didn’t _not_ want to bond, and I let that consume me. I wasn’t thinking about anyone else’s feelings except for my own. I put Hanbin before all of you, which I should never have done.”

Bobby wanted to argue back, say that right now, Hanbin _was_ more important than he was, but he didn’t have time to before Yunhyeong went on.

“I shouldn’t have put him first, because you’re _all_ equal to me. I hurt you, even if you don’t think I did. God. Just- Just remembering the...the _pain_ in your scent when you ran out. It shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have pushed you as hard as I did, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m so sorry.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin mumbled against Jinhwan’s collarbone.

After a few rounds, Jinhwan was able to tug the hoodie off of Hanbin’s body before the Omega overheated and made himself sick, but not without a few tears.

Now, the three of them were taking a break, Hanbin feeling a bit better and Junhoe’s knot still inside him. The young Alpha was completely exhausted, snoring lightly against the back of Hanbin’s neck.

“Why are you sorry?” Jinhwan asked, pulling away so he could look at Hanbin’s face, stroking a thumb over his cheek.

Hanbin let out a small whine at the separation, “For lying, I was just scared.”

Jinhwan felt guilty.

Here he was, making a big deal out of something for all of the wrong reasons.

“Is it because of your dad?” Junhoe mumbled, not as asleep as the other two thought.

Hanbin stilled, eyes flashing with _panic_ before calming, “Yeah- yeah. It was because of my father.”

“And Bobby?” Jinhwan asked lowly.

 _Breathe._ “Y-Yeah, and Bobby,” Hanbin repeated.

Junhoe’s arms tightened around the rapper’s waist, “And me?”

Hanbin shook his head once, before seeming to think about it, giving a slight nod, “You were...more of a precaution, than anything,” he trailed off before picking back up, “And Jiyong-hyung was still the only Omega leader, but he was just so much _better_ than I was. I didn’t want people to look down on me just because of my dynamic. I- I just wanted to make music. I didn’t mean to mess e-e-everything up so b-bad.”

Jinhwan pulled the now crying Omega back against him, rubbing his scent glands over Hanbin’s face to try and soothe the younger.

“I p-promise I’ll- tell- just not- now,” Hanbin stuttered, trying to remember the even _in out in out in out._

“Take your time, we’ll always be there for you.”

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know if I can be around him, like this.”

After Yunhyeong had apologized, tearfully explaining everything that had happened, Bobby was just left even _more_ confused.

Yunhyeong nodded, “I get that, but I don’t think you’re going to have a choice. Look, I’m scared, too, especially after what happened this morning, but we can’t leave him. I- I kind of...freaked out and left earlier, and Jinhwan just messaged me that Hanbin has been an emotional slow cooker.”

“I just don’t want to hurt him anymore,” Bobby quietly admitted, before catching on to something Yunhyeong had said, “Wait. What happened this morning?”

Yunhyeong was conflicted, he knew he should tell Bobby but he didn’t want to freak him out even more.

“Listen. Minho’s already schooled me about the whole ‘I’m his Alpha’ thing so please just _tell me,”_ Bobby pleaded. Even if he was still hesitant, he didn’t like the idea of something bad happening to Hanbin because of him. Omega or not, Hanbin was his best friend before anything else.

“It was...a rough morning,” Yunhyeong said, taking a seat on one of the beds and running his hands over his face, “Hanbin freaked out. Not even me, uh, settling him calmed him down. The only thing that worked was your hoodie.”

His hoodie?

 _Right._ Bobby had ditched his hoodie in the room earlier in the night.

“Last I saw, he was still wearing it,” Yunhyeong looked up at Bobby, the rapper pacing the length of the room once more.

Why did that make Bobby feel... _something_ he had never felt before? His scent calmed Hanbin down, even after everything Bobby had done to him.

Why did everyone seem to know that he was Hanbin’s Alpha, except for Bobby himself?

He didn’t _get_ it.

Was this what everyone meant, when they talked about a certain scent pulling you in, attracting you like the opposing end of a magnent?

He had assumed that it was just the Omega pheromones, but Junhoe didn’t seem _nearly_ as affected as him.

Bobby stopped, hands coming up to tug at his hair before he turned to face Yunhyeong, “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“What?”

“That- That Hanbin is always going to want me, too? You’re his mate?”

Yunhyeong thought about how to phrase his feelings, “Not really. Junhoe and Jinhwan are with Hanbin, right now. I grew up in a mated pack, and I know that both Donghyuk and Chanwoo did, too. Hanbin has shown interest in all of us, so why would I be bothered by something that makes my Omega happy,” Yunhyeong shrugged, “Besides, I love all of you, in whatever way it may be.”

Bobby didn’t grow up in a mated pack. In fact, he only had his parents and his brother, for a while, so the idea of it was still pretty foreign to him, especially since he had lived in Virginia, of all places.

“I don’t want to fight you, ever again, but I’m not going back in my decision to mate him.”

“I wouldn’t make you,” Bobby started, “You’re my Alpha, I have to follow you.”

He had tried to keep his tone light, _joking,_ but Yunhyeong’s shoulders tensed.

“Wh-”

“I don’t deserve to be your Alpha,” Yunhyeong sighed out. “I’ve made so many mistakes, how could you ever listen to me?”

Bobby looked at him incredulously, “You’re the only person I _would_ follow. Besides Hanbin, of course.”

The look of surprise on Yunhyeong’s face made his chest hurt, but not in the same stabbing way Hanbin’s had. It was a _dull_ ache, a quiet murmur in the back of his head.

Bobby didn’t like it, didn’t like seeing his friends, his _family_ hurt like this.

He could do something about it.

Bobby’s fingers hooked onto the bottom of his shirt, meeting Yunhyeong’s eyes as he lifted the item up and over his head, tossing onto the bed.

Still not breaking eye contact, Bobby walked forward, closing half the distance between him and the elder Alpha as he let his head fall to the side.

“I trust you, now trust me.”

 

* * *

  

“Why’d you have to get taller than me, brat,” Jinhwan grumbled, washing the shampoo out of Hanbin’s hair.

“‘Could’ve jus’ showered with June,” was Hanbin’s slurred response, tilting his head against Jinhwan’s shoulder, both to give the eldest better access, as well as limit the amount of energy he needed to exert at that moment.

His body still felt weird, like it wasn’t his.

Hanbin felt like he was watching everything happen from a room filled with screens, each one showing different angles of the same scene. It was weird, made him feel vaguely nauseous.

Vertigo?

Or the room was spinning.

_Oh shit._

He was going to fall.

“Wha- Hanbin!”

Jinhwan’s arms shot out to catch Hanbin by the elbows, barely able to stop the younger from hitting the ground.

Hanbin’s blue eyes were slightly unfocused, a haze of confusion spread over them, like he was still trying to catch up with what was happening.

“Okay, time to get out. You’re clean enough...the cum’s gone at least.”

Hanbin shut his eyes, letting Jinhwan move him out of the shower and onto the low counter in the bathroom. It was a very nice bathroom. He felt weird.

He was glad Jinhwan wasn’t treating him different anymore. He didn’t like when Jinhwan was mad at him. He didn’t want any of them to be mad at him. That meant he was bad.

He didn’t want to be bad.

“Hanbin, pup, are you still with me?”

 _Dizzy._ “Jinani. Wan’ Yun, or Ji.”

He felt really _weird._ Sick? Scared?

_Paranoid._

Out of _nowhere,_ his heart was racing, his chest felt tight.

“Do you want me to get Junhoe? Do you want an Alpha, Binnie?” Jinhwan asked, wrapping a towel around the shaking Omega, “What’s wrong?”

Why couldn’t he get the other two?

_They weren’t there. Right._

Hanbin shook his head, more trying to clear it than answer the eldest, “I’m- I’m good. I think. Sorry.”

The feeling had hit hard, but he was slowly coming back to his senses.

Jinhwan pursed his lips, pressing his hand against Hanbin’s forehead, cheek, neck, “You’re fever keeps fluctuating. That might have something to do with your waves being shorter, but more unpredictable, a-”

“Hyungs?” Chanwoo knocked on the door a few times before peeking his head inside, “Manag- Is everything okay?”

“We’re good now, what’s up, kid?” Jinhwan said, gently rubbing Hanbin’s hair dry as he looked to Chanwoo.

The maknae pushed his way into the room, “Manager-hyung wanted to know if he could talk to Hanbin-hyung.”

Jinhwan took note of the phone in Chanwoo’s hand, recognizing it as his own, “Here, let me talk to him. Can you help Bin get dressed?”

Hanbin was blearily leaning his face against Jinhwan’s side, head just above the towel wrapped around the Beta’s waist. “Chanu, come ‘ere.” He reached his arms around Jinhwan’s body, making grabby-hands at the maknae.

After a quick position exchange, Chanwoo stood in front Hanbin, trying to wrangle the Omega into a pair of his trackpants and a shirt that Donghyuk had _thoroughly_ scent marked earlier.

Jinhwan had been mostly silent since picking up the phone, only offering short answers or hums of understanding before saying his goodbye.

“Wha’d he wan’?”

Hanbin had tugged at Chanwoo’s shirt until the maknae sunk down to the ground, sitting cross-legged in front of the rapper as Hanbin kept his chin propped on the Beta’s head and semi-aggressively scent marked him. He still looked shaky, but being near the others’ scents helped calm him somewhat.

“YG wants to put out an official statement about you being an Omega, but first he wants you to check it over before it releases. Plus side, you’re trending on Twitter, pup. Wanna see some?”

Hanbin nodded, lazily reaching for the phone as Jinhwan opened the app.

The small smile that spread over Hanbin’s face as he read through some of the messages broke Jinhwan’s heart.

It was his _‘I can’t believe they actually like me’_ smile, the unsure and slightly self-deprecating one that was so common when they were first starting.

“Everyone knows,” Hanbin murmured, _disbelief_ clouding his scent, “I never thought…”

“Yeah, Binnie, you broke the internet,” Jinhwan joked, “Everyone’s talking about it.”

“They all know,” the small smile lost the insecurity, turning much _freer,_ “Everyone-”

Hanbin cut himself off, face going white as he dropped Jinhwan’s phone on the tile.

Jinhwan didn’t care about his now-broken phone, falling to his knees as Chanwoo spun around to stop Hanbin from crashing to the ground for a second time.

“Hanbin, what’s wrong?” Jinhwan grabbed the Omega’s face, forcing the younger to look at him.

 

“E-Everyone-” Hanbin gasped, “They-”

He had fallen back into the dark hole, thoughts racing through his mind and slamming into him.

_Everyone knew._

His father knew.

His father _knew._

Hanbin had fucked up the one thing his father had asked of him.

_Don’t be a disgrace. Don’t be a dissapointment._

His father knew.

His father knew. His father knew. His father knew.

No one had called him.

Hanbin hadn’t spoken to his mother in-

_Weeks._

Oh _god. Oh god oh god oh god._

Was she okay?

Was _Hanbyul_ okay?

It felt like the ground was falling out from under him, could only glance at Jinhwan’s frantic face as his lungs started to collapse.

Hanbin squeezed his eyes shut, hands coming up to the side of hs head, pulling his hair, covering his ears, trying to block out the voice in his head telling him that his family was in danger because of him, the feeling of the floor shifting and turning under him, the narrow, restrictive space of the bathroom that had once seemed so big, the two others pressing against him.

“Hanbin, Hanbin. Look at me,” Jinhwan’s voice broke through the haze before being swallowed up in the wave of _panicpanicpanic._

Hanbin frantically shook his head, keeping his eyes screwed shut as the mumbling intensified, body trembling, every muscle tense with the same _fear_ that took over his scent.

All he could see was his sister, crying as she reached up at him, _begging_ him to help.

His mother’s busted lip. Broken plates.

Screaming.

 

Jinhwan was knelt in front of Hanbin, one hand clasped in the rapper’s white knuckled grip, “Chanwoo, get Junhoe in here, and then go get Yunhyeong. Room 425. _Go.”_

Chanwoo sent one final frantic look at Hanbin before getting up and running out of the room.

He could feel his own breathing pick up at the image of Hanbin’s _distress._ He had always reacted incredibly strong to Hanbin’s emotions, had always been more affected by the leader’s feelings than any of the others.

Donghyuk had jumped from his place on the couch at the sound of the bathroom door slamming open, but Chanwoo ignored the other Beta as he crashed into the door of the bedroom.

“Chan- what?” Junhoe mumbled, sleepily pushing himself up. He took one look at Chanwoo’s face, hearing the labored breaths and picking up on the scent of Hanbin’s _panic_ as he jumped from the bed. The Alpha didn’t care about his lack of clothing, merely pulled on his discarded boxers as he ran past Chanwoo.

Chanwoo was barely able to make it back out of the room before his knees gave out.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Donghyuk asked, dropping down in front of where the youngest was curled in on himself leaning on the wall.

Chanwoo shook his head a few times, “Y-Yunhyeong. 425.”

Donghyuk’s eyes widened almost comically as he pulled away from Chanwoo, putting on a random pair of shoes before he ran out.

 

* * *

 

“So? How...does it feel?”

Bobby rubbed his hand over the fresh mark, already feeling it start to close, “It’s weird. It almost feels like a...a tether? Is that the right word?”

“No, I get it,” Yunhyeong gave a small laugh, “It’s like a really static-y radio signal.”

Bobby rolled his shoulders, trying to get used to the pull of his skin every time he moved them. It almost felt like having a scar, except a lot more irritating as it was on his shoulder.

A frantic knocking sounded on the door, Bobby looking to Yunhyeong in confusion. He had heard the same knocking a few doors down but he figured it was someone locked out of their room.

_“Yunhyeong? Bobby? Someone please just open their damn door!”_

That was Donghyuk.

Bobby moved to get the door but Yunhyeong managed to get there first, throwing it open and yanking the startled Beta inside before Bobby even knew what was happening.

“Donghyuk? What’s wrong? What happened?” Yunhyeong asked, grabbing the dancer by his shoulders before smoothing his wrists over the Beta’s neck.

Donghyuk grabbed one of his arms, “Thank god you’re here. Come _on!”_

“What happened-”

“Not now. Hanbin- He’s- Something’s wrong-”

Bobby was out of the door before Donghyuk even finished the sentence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I type all of my fic plots out before hand, and the guide for seven was the same length as all of the others, about 2,000 words, but by time I was halfway through it this chapter had already hit 8.6k.  
> So I ended up cutting it there, hence the ending. Bright side, chapter eight shouldn’t take as long haha
> 
> One day I’ll go through this and make the formatting match. One day
> 
> (Check out my Cat Hybrid!Hanbin fics, Ive been writing a bunch lately)
> 
> I really don’t know how y’all read this.


	8. Don’t be sorry, the more you say it, the more my heart aches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miscommunication and realizations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is from Just Go - iKON, just like last chapter.  
> This is essentially the part 2 of chapter seven, so it’s like 90% dialog ngl. 
> 
> Also I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. 
> 
> Enjoy??  
> Or don’t.  
> Actually, you probably won’t. 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Bobby’s chest was heaving by the time he made it to the door to the suite, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t bring himself to go in.

This was his fault, he needed to be the one to fix it.

But just how bad did he hurt Hanbin?

_Again._

That’s all he ever seemed to do. Hurt him.

“Bobby! What are you doing?” Yunhyeong panted, finally able to catch up with the younger Alpha.

Bobby’s eyes were wide with panic, red already swirling with the brown, “I- I can’t. What if- What if I hurt him again?”

“You don’t have to go, but I think it would be better if you did-”

“Just don’t pull the same shit you did last time,” Donghyuk snarled out, catching the other two off guard.

 

Donghyuk didn’t really want Bobby around Hanbin, not as soon as it was, at least. Bobby had _walked out_ last time, what if he did something even worse this time?

Hanbin was already a roller-coaster of emotions, he didn’t need Bobby to make everything even worse.

 

The door flew open, and the three of them were meet with a very pale Chanwoo, “What are you guys _doing?”_

The maknae’s eyes met Bobby’s, and _surprise_ took over the _panic_ for a split second before Bobby caught onto Hanbin’s scent under the Beta’s, making Bobby push past Chanwoo and into the room.

 

Following Bobby, Yunhyeong saw the rapper hesitate again, stopping to look back at him.

Yunhyeong’s eyes drifted between Bobby and the two Betas.

Hanbin was potentially hurt in the other room, but two of his Betas were panicking. Chanwoo was _crying._

Bobby would have an easier time calming Hanbin than he would, and he needed to take care of his Betas.

Yunhyeong yanked Chanwoo into his arms, shushing him before looking to Bobby.

 

Bobby understood what he meant, shaking his head frantically. He needed Yunhyeong, he didn’t know what to _do._ Hanbin was Yunhyeong’s mate, wouldn’t the older Alpha be better to deal with whatever was happening?

 _No._ He was the one that messed up, he needed to be the one that fixed it.

“Go. I trust you,” Yunhyeong said, pulling Donghyuk against both him and Chanwoo, just as the maknae’s knees buckled.

So Bobby went.

Nothing would have ever prepared him for the sight he was met with.

The first thing Bobby saw was Junhoe’s bare back, the youngest Alpha was sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door.

The room was filled with so many mixed scents that Bobby had to lean against the wall for support. Hanbin’s was the most noticeable, and Bobby could feel his hands start to shake.

Jinhwan’s voice was coming from somewhere in front of Junhoe, low and quiet and _calm,_ not at all how the Beta normally was.

He was talking to Hanbin. Hanbin was probably in Junhoe’s lap. Hanbin was in a drop.

Bobby took one step away from the wall, moving slowly to avoid startling anyone. Jinhwan immediately saw him, looking over the bed and narrowing his eyes at him.

“Where’s Yunhyeong? Why are you here?” He asked, voice causing Junhoe’s head to whip around to face Bobby.

Junhoe’s eyes were wide, and Bobby couldn’t remember ever seeing the younger so _afraid._

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

Bobby ignored the Beta, hearing his heart beat in his ears as he moved closer.

Hanbin was sat in between Junhoe’s legs, caged in the Alpha’s arms.

He looked-

_Lifeless._

His eyes were glazed over. He didn’t even look like he was breathing. There were marks covering his arms, bruises already forming from Junhoe holding him still.

Bobby froze, brain clicking through a thousand different scenarios before settling on this being his fault.

_Why did he have to run out?_

Jinhwan was talking to him, but the Beta’s voice barely registered to him.

_Why couldn’t he move?_

Hanbin was right there. In a fucking _drop_ that was probably caused by him.

The _third_ one.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Bobby remembered something Minho had told him on the phone.

_“Because he almost ODed on the suppressants, his hormones are probably pretty messed up. Odds are he’s gonna drop easier than normal. Get that checked out as soon as you can, or it will bite you in the ass later.”_

Would his presence make it worse?

 _Fuck._ He shouldn’t have come. He should have stayed away, let Yunhyeong deal with this. Bobby had no place being here, not when he was the cause for it. How was Yunhyeong so accepting of him? Bobby didn’t _deserve_ that, not when he was so-

“Bobby!”

_Jinhwan._

The Beta’s calm exterior had wavered when he was unable to pull Hanbin back up, leaving his eyes watery and voice shaky, “If you’re here, fucking _help,”_ he begged, pulling on Bobby’s arm.

It’s almost as if his body was moving on it’s own, unsure steps toward where Junhoe was sat with Hanbin.

Dropping was very _not_ healthy for an Omega, and the longer Hanbin was like this, the harder it would be to pull him out, and the worse it could affect him, especially since it’s happened so many times, so close together. That wasn’t normal, that wasn’t _okay._

“C-Can I?”

Junhoe’s arms tightened around Hanbin, and Bobby was hit with the thought of just how _small_ Hanbin looked curled up in the other Alpha’s hold. Even with Junhoe shirtless and smelling like _Hanbin_ and _sex,_ Bobby wasn’t hit with the wave of _jealousy_ he was expecting.

He was just upset.

“Junhoe, let Bobby take him,” Jinhwan tried, placing his hand on Junhoe’s shoulder, “C’mon, pup.”

“Fine,” Junhoe grit out, glaring at Bobby as the older Alpha slowly moved closer.

No one spoke as Bobby gently pulled Hanbin up, settling against the headboard with the Omega curled into him.

There was a small spark of _disappointment_ that nothing happened. He knew it was stupid, but part of him thought that Hanbin would just be _okay_ now that Bobby was with him.

He didn’t know what to do.

Bobby was trying so hard not to actually look at the others, he felt too guilty, too ashamed with himself.

He laid Hanbin down in the center of the bed, curling his body around the younger and tucking the Omega’s head against his neck, once more.

Maybe he was imagining it, maybe he was too wistful, but Bobby thought he heard Hanbin let out a small rush of air, and he pulled the younger rapper even closer to him.

They shouldn’t be in this position. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“I’m sorry,” Bobby whispered against Hanbin’s hair, “I’m so sorry, I’m- I-”

_Was he crying?_

His chest felt heavy.

Jinhwan slid in behind him, forehead coming to rest in between Bobby’s shoulder blades.

Tightening his arms around Hanbin, Bobby was once again struck with the thought of how _small_ he felt.

In the beginning, it was easy to overlook. Hanbin wasn’t that much smaller than he was, and the way he carried himself made you forget about it. He was always assertive, dominant.

When had that changed?

Sometime, without Bobby noticing, Hanbin lost most of the lean muscle he had lining his frame, now his waist seemed so much more delicate and his shoulders less broad.

Bobby couldn’t quite pinpoint the moment when Hanbin seemed to shrink in on himself, pulled away from their close-knit circle.

_No._

No. He did know.

One of them, at least.

_“I hate it when you touch me.”_

Just another thing to add to Bobby’s list of faults.

It was jarring, finally being able to see Hanbin like this. He looked so much softer now. Sadder.

Bobby was sure if he grazed his hand along Hanbin’s side-

_He could feel his ribs._

That was the final straw. It was over.

Bobby felt everything he had been holding back burst forward, leaving him unable to do anything but muffle his cries against Hanbin’s hair, the younger still not responding to him.

“Oh, Bobby.”

_Yunhyeong._

When had he gotten there?

Somehow, with Yunhyeong pressed against Hanbin’s back, the situation felt less _scary._

Yeah, he messed up, but he didn’t have to fix it alone.

Bobby’s fingers made contact with Yunhyeong’s forearm, and he slid his hand down until he was able to tangle it with Yunhyeong’s own.

Just as his hand was squeezed, both Donghyuk and Chanwoo came in. Donghyuk fitting himself behind Yunhyeong, and Chanwoo sprawling out on the older Beta. Somehow they made it work, fitting seven grown-ass men on one bed. It wasn’t exactly foreign to them.

It was just-

It had been awhile, since the last time.

Because they had pushed Hanbin away from them.

Hanbin was so... _critical_ of himself.

Bobby was at fault for that.

Even if Hanbin’s father still forced him to go on suppressants, if Bobby hadn’t been such a _fuck up,_ maybe Hanbin would have _told_ them. They could have helped him. They could have been a pack this whole time and none of this mess would have happened.

It was one massive chain reaction that all started with Bobby opening his stupid mouth. Virginia was surprisingly old-school with how they viewed things, at least where he lived.

It was Alpha and Omega, Beta and Beta.

That was the ideal, that would provide genetically the healthiest offspring, even if that wasn’t proven.

A Beta born to an Alpha-Beta couple could have problems submitting to an Alpha, an Alpha from Alpha-Alpha parents could be too rash, quick to anger.

Alphas were leaders, Omegas weren’t.

Bobby’s parents had assumed he’d be an Alpha, unlike his Beta brother, and had pushed their views of the ideal Omega onto him. They weren’t _forceful_ with it, just a little pushy. They only wanted the best for him. They wanted him to have someone to take care of, someone to look after.

Except Bobby didn’t want someone to look after. He didn’t want that kind of responsibility.

Maybe that’s why he did the exact _opposite_ of that, slept around with pretty Alpha ladies that made him work for it. He didn’t want someone to bend and break for his every wish. He didn’t want that control over someone else.

But life wasn’t fair, and Bobby was already decided to be someone’s Alpha, he didn’t even have a _choice._

Except now, with Hanbin pressed up against him, fitting along him in a way that felt almost too _perfect_ to be true, maybe it didn’t matter.

It sure as hell wasn’t what he wanted, no where close, actually.

But maybe-

Maybe it was what he needed?

Hanbin wasn’t the stereotypical Omega. He was blunt and stubborn and a _leader._

Yet…now there were moments where Bobby was able to pick up on the submissiveness, though. Hanbin’s desire for contact, his need for approval, how closed off he got when they fought with him.

But he wasn’t gentle, or pretty, or graceful, like Omegas usually were.

Well, maybe he was?

Bobby had seen him interact with animals, and little kids, and even girls. He was awkward, but he was sweet, _charming._

And Bobby guessed Hanbin could be considered cute, handsome even, but _pretty?_

_No._

_Maybe?_

Hanbin used to be too rough edges and too sharp lines, but he had grown into it, everything softening out over time.

Bobby’s brain flashed back to the way Hanbin had looked right when they had won their Daesang, dressed in all white like the rest of them, yet looking so _incredible._ Bobby’s mind was completely blank after hearing their name called, it hadn’t even registered to him what had happened, but then Hanbin had reached out to him, grabbing onto him for support and Bobby took one look at him and immediately felt everything hit him. He didn’t think about the weird pinpricks he felt everytime Hanbin touched him, only smiled at the _relief_ in Hanbin’s eyes.

Yeah, maybe Bobby did think Hanbin was pretty.

Graceful-

Grace didn’t even need to be debated.

When they were kids, Hanbin danced with so much pent up aggression, but that had changed.

Bobby more than agreed that Jinhwan and Donghyuk were great dancers, but they both danced like they had something to _prove._

Like Hanbin used to dance.

Now…

Now Hanbin danced like he knew you were already watching him.

Or maybe it was just that Bobby’s eyes always seemed to find Hanbin, no matter where they were, or what they were doing.

_Wow._

Had he always sounded so…

_Whipped?_

Hanbin was an enigma. He was a riddle. He was a puzzle that Bobby was still trying to piece together.

He was pulled out of his black hole of confusion by Hanbin’s fist clutching onto the material over Bobby’s chest and all at once he was hit with a wave of emotion.

His sobbing took on a register of relief- _Had he been crying this whole time?-_ as Jinhwan breathed out a strangled sounding laugh against the back of his neck.

It wasn’t good, but it was better.

 

* * *

 

_His chest hurt._

_He wanted to go home._

_But he was home?_

_Why didn’t it_ feel _like home?_

_Home shouldn’t mean feeling terrified of being vulnerable._

_“Open this fucking door!”_

_His chest hurt._

_He was crying so hard he physically couldn’t breathe. Every inhale aggravating the bruises littering his skin. What did he do to deserve this? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t_ fair.

 _He tried so hard to make everyone happy but what was the point when it always ended with him being_ hurt _why was he always hurt he just wanted to be happy why could he never be happy-_

_There was a rumble in his chest._

_It was like his whole body was vibrating._

_A low, soothing sound._

_It was almost loud enough to drown out the banging behind him._

_But then it stopped, just for a moment, but that second was enough to cause the pain to spread back through his body._

_Hands came up to grasp at his neck, where the pain was easiest to pinpoint._

_He wanted to go home._

_The pain shifted into a warm buzz, and the low rumble was back, louder._

_It drowned out everything, making his thoughts sound like static as he tilted his head back against the door, trying to focus on where it was coming from._

_He felt okay. Not good, but better._

_And then his mom screamed._

His mom.

 

* * *

 

When Hanbin’s eyes finally snapped open, Yunhyeong’s teeth were still sunk in the Omega’s neck.

Bobby had woken up to Hanbin’s fingers clawing at his chest, his arms, anywhere they could reach, shaking and calling out for _someone to stop hurting him._

Bobby felt physically sick.

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby whispered, voice choked and hesitant.

Hanbin was back to barely moving, he was looking directly at Bobby, but it was like the younger wasn’t even seeing him.

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby tried again, bringing his hands up to run his thumbs across Hanbin’s cheekbones.

Almost immediately upon contact, Hanbin’s eyes focused on him, gold streaking the blue, and he mumbled something about _dreaming_ before he pushed at Bobby’s chest, _fear_ and _panic_ rolling off of him in waves.

The movement shoved him directly back against Yunhyeong, the Alpha wrapping his arms around Hanbin and continuing the soothing _rumble_ he was making when Hanbin first started coming back.

It had much the same effect, stilling the frantic movements and making the panicked mumbling more distinguishable.

“Ha-Have to call- my mom. Need to c-call. I need-”

“Shhhh,” Yunhyeong cooed, “You need to breathe, pup.”

Hanbin tried to push himself away from Yunhyeong in the same way he had Bobby, but the eldest Alpha wasn’t caught off guard like Bobby was, instead tightening his arms around Hanbin and pulling him up.

It was like a repeat of what Junhoe had to do, marks from that already rapidly darkening into purple splotches against his skin.

Bobby hated the color purple on Hanbin.

 _“No._ No no nonono- Y-You don’t _understand._ He _knows._ I n-need to- I need to make sure they’re _okay-_ I need to- I-” Hanbin kept babbling out, hands coming to clutch at Yunhyeong’s arms.

“Hey, okay, okay. We can call her,” Jinwan soothed, crawling over Bobby’s frozen body and sitting in front of Hanbin, “We can call her, but first you need to calm down. It was just a nightmare, it wasn’t real.”

 

Hanbin shook his head, trying to make them _understand._ How could he explain to them that it wasn’t just a nightmare, it was a _memory_ and it would only keep repeating until he made sure his family was okay, but he couldn’t do that without being able to _breathe._

 

“Oh god. It- He-”

Now it was Bobby’s turn to choke out his fragmented and barely coherent thoughts, putting together all of the pieces before any of the others were able to even think about it.

The thought of Hanbin’s father _hitting him_ sent Bobby reeling, moving backwards off the bed until he crashed into Junhoe, sending both of them tumbling to the floor.

“Bobby! What the hell?”

All Bobby could think about was the memory of 19 year old Hanbin showing up after spending a week at home, bruises speckled along his arms and jaw.

_“My cousin and I got into a fight,” Hanbin nervously laughed, “I was a bit stubborn and got my ass kicked.”_

None of them had questioned him taking up boxing, it was a normal activity for an Alpha.

Or an Omega trying to protect themself.

Bobby’s thoughts were still running rampant. He had been the one to figure out about Hanbin’s father putting him on suppressants, but if he was right with his current thoughts than he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from tearing that man apart.

“Bobby, Bobby! Fucking snap out of it!” Junhoe cried, shaking the older Alpha’s shoulders.

“G-Give me my phone. Jinhwan, give me my fucking phone! I need to call my mom,” Hanbin repeated, still struggling against Yunhyeong’s hold, “I need to make sure she’s okay. _Please_ just let me call her. He can’t- What-” And he’s gasping for breath again, the tightness in his chest was back and he couldn’t _breathe._

“Bin, we’ll call her, baby. You gotta calm down first,” Yunhyeong kept rocking Hanbin, trying to get the younger to calm down, except nothing seemed to be working.

Nothing they were saying was getting through to him, Hanbin’s breathing was only picking up and he was seconds away from plunging head first into another drop.

If that happened, there was no telling _what_ would even pull him back up again, or how bad the damage could be.

Bobby blinked, and suddenly he was moving back towards Hanbin, carefully pulling him away from Yunhyeong’s grip as he fitted him in his own.

He did the only thing he could think of doing, biting down on Hanbin’s neck and making the Omega still. It wasn’t enough to break skin, but it was enough to pull Hanbin back up slightly.

“Listen. Hanbin. Hanbin, _listen to me. You need to_ **_calm down_** _.”_ Bobby finally seemed to have gotten through, Hanbin giving up on fighting and just falling against him, “I won’t let him hurt you again. I won’t let him hurt you. We’re gonna call your mom, okay? You’re gonna call her and make sure she’s safe. If we need to, we can get her out. Her and Hanbyul will be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

The seconds following Bobby’s words had a physical effect on all of them.

He was pretty sure the gasp came from either Yunhyeong or Chanwoo, maybe both, Jinhwan letting out a choked off sob as Junhoe wrapped himself around the eldest.

Donghyuk stormed out of the room.

Hanbin relaxed against him even further, letting Bobby fold him up in his lap as he worked on matching his breathing with the Alpha’s, the low rumble of Bobby’s voice keeping him calm.

 

_In out in out in out in out._

_Of course,_ Bobby was the one to figure it out. It was always Bobby.

_Why was it always Bobby?_

It was like Hanbin couldn’t _hide_ anything from him.

Except, well, _that._

But now that they all knew, Bobby always seemed to be the first to catch on to everything.

That’s how it had always been, really.

“Hanbin?”

Hanbin’s eyes drifted over to Donghyuk, not having noticed the Beta come back in.

“I have your phone, we’ll call your mom after it charges, okay?” Donghyuk said, handing the phone to Chanwoo to plug in while he moved to sit in the unoccupied chair in the corner.

 

It was a weird sight, seeing the way Bobby was looking down at Hanbin. Donghyuk was used to seeing that look on Yunhyeong’s face, but here Bobby was rocking and shushing Hanbin like he was a baby, even after complaining about how they shouldn’t be treating him like one.

He felt bad, in a way. For Bobby.

This was a lot, and Bobby was never the best at figuring out stuff like this, especially under this much pressure.

Where Hanbin was all logic and thinking, Bobby was feelings.

He acted before his brain caught up with his actions, and sometimes that got him in trouble.

Donghyuk didn’t want to think about the meaning behind Bobby’s words, he wanted to stay ignorant to the implications of them, but he couldn’t.

Hopefully he wouldn’t get in too much trouble for the hole he just put in the wall.

“You feeling better?” Jinhwan asked, worry evident in his voice.

 

Hanbin didn’t verbally answer, but he did give a small shake of his head at the question.

 _No._ He didn’t feel better, but he didn’t feel worse. Hanbin knew that Bobby was the only thing keeping him from losing his shit again, and he wasn’t even able to process how that made him feel because he had to stay _calm._

Hanbin could finally focus on everything, even if it felt like he was back in the room with all of the screens, at least the room wasn’t spinning again. It was almost like there was a filter on his emotions, it felt like the _bad days_ he would have when he was on his suppressants.

He hated the feeling.

But maybe he could use it for what it was.

Hanbin breathed out a sigh against Bobby’s collarbone, still not able to really grasp the idea of how the touch made him feel, “Well, since Bobby decided to crack the code, you all probably have a lot of questions.”

His chest hurt. 

Bobby sucked in a short breath underneath him, “B-But, won’t you get upset?”

Hanbin scoffed, “Since when has that stopped you. And not like I can, right now.”

“Oh, _fuck._ I- I didn’t even think about-”

“It’s fine,” Hanbin muttered, “Probably for the best I’m not like that.” He just wanted this week to be over. He wanted to forget that all of this happened, go back on his suppressants, and ignore everything bad that seemed to happen to him. “Ask away. Do it now while I can actually talk about it, _please.”_

“Okay,” Jinhwan started, wiping his eyes, “Has your dad- Has he ever…?” He trailed off, looking at Hanbin with so much uncertainty in his eyes.

“Has he ever hit you?” Donghyuk asked, leg shaking and barely contained _rage_ pouring off him like a waterfall from where he was seated away from them.

Hanbin nodded, chest feeling both too tight and somehow lighter at finally being able to admit that.

“Has he ever put you in the hospital?”

Second nod. Slower. Jerkier.

_Maybe he wasn’t as emotionless as he thought._

“Only twice. He-He locked me out, before. That’s why I came back late after Chuseok. Got sick.”

“And the stitches?” Bobby mumbled, rubbing his thumb over the thin scar that wrapped around Hanbin’s palm.

Hanbin expected the touch to force a spark of _panic,_ but instead it calmed the racing in his heart that was managing to slip past the _calmcalmcalm._

“Not those ones,” Hanbin let out a cynical laugh, “Remember when I had to get my hair buzzed? Wasn’t by choice.”

“You mean…?” Jinhwan sounded _horrified,_ and Hanbin’s chest _burned._

Hanbin was thankfully saved from answering by the sound of his phone _finally_ turning on, and he jerked forward in Bobby’s arms to get to it.

“Hey, hey,” Bobby tried soothing him, _“Calm,_ remember?”

He could hear his phone vibrating non-stop from the notifications. It had been sat dead since he had gotten there, Hanbin had zero desire to see all of the things about him flooding the internet.

_Regretted that now._

When Chanwoo finally handed his phone over, Hanbin was actually shaking too much to unlock it.

“Want me to call?” Jinhwan asked, resting his small hands over the Omega’s, trying to use the contact to calm both of them.

Hanbin nodded, letting the Beta take his phone as he reached his hand toward Yunhyeong.

The Alpha had been dead quiet since Bobby had taken him, and he hurried to join where the younger two were, curling against Bobby’s side and Hanbin’s back.

It was a shock to everyone but the two Alphas, seeing them so close with each other, especially to Hanbin.

But it just felt _right._

Yunhyeong was soft smiles and comforting touches, rich wood and spicy ginger.

Bobby was awkward laughs and sharp eyes, smoke and pine and sweet honey.

Together, and with all of the others, they just felt like _home._

“It’s ringing, Bin,” Bobby said, jostling him slightly. He kept fading in and out, but thankfully he was still under the command of _calm,_ otherwise he would probably be crying again.

Hanbin was so fucking sick of crying.

_“Hanbin? Oh, thank god you’re okay. Why haven’t you been answering me? Hello?”_

_Calm. Calm down. He needed to be calm. Bobby told him to stay calm._

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” Hanbin repeated, feeling so much _relief_ flood his body. He didn’t realize just how tightly wound he was before that, it felt like another weight was lifted off his chest. “Is- Hanbyul?”

_“She’s with me, baby. We’re staying at my parents.”_

It was like his ability to speak just left, and Hanbin was stuck just nodding dumbly at the phone. He jumped when he felt Bobby’s forehead drop against his shoulder, and before he knew it, tears were forming a wet spot on his neck.

Hanbin wanted to ignore the fuzzy feeling he got from that, he was still mad at Bobby, afterall, but everything was just so _confusing._

_“Are you okay in Tokyo? Do you need me to fly over? I can be there before tomorrow if you need me to.”_

“I think we’re okay for now, auntie. We should be back soon, anyway,” Jinhwan answered for him, which Hanbin was thankful for. He didn’t really want his mom to see him like this, and he wanted it to be just them when he saw her. He loved the others, but Hanbin didn’t think he could talk without clamming up if they were there.

Whatever else Jinhwan was saying to his mother was completely lost to Hanbin.

He was so fucking _tired._

He felt sore and crampy and sick and dull and just really shitty.

Hanbin didn’t know how to _feel._

He wasn’t used to having five (six?) other people crowding around him at all times. It was so exhausting and incredibly overwhelming but at the same time it was all he had ever wanted.

 _God,_ he had been so lonely.

Being constantly on edge while pushing himself into his own little bubble was such a shitty feeling, but it was a lot easier to do that than face the truth.

“What are you thinking about?” Yunhyeong softly questioned, rubbing Hanbin’s arm and pulling the Omega out of his thoughts.

“How shitty everything was- No, is.” Hanbin honestly hadn’t meant for the words to slip out, but apparently his brain-to-mouth filter had completely disappeared, and once he started, he figured he might as well be honest.

“Is?” Chanwoo asked, voice sounding small and far away.

For a moment, Hanbin felt really bad. He didn’t mean to imply that they were being anything but good for him, but between everything the past however many years, plus the past _two days,_ Hanbin was just over everything.

With the fear and the panic pushed back into the dark corner of his head (thanks, Bobby), he was just left with all of the pent up frustration he had shoved away just to deal with his _stupid_ heat and all of the _stupid_ shit that was happening to his body because of it.

“Do you have any idea how shitty I felt?” Hanbin started, unable to hold it back any longer, “How worthless?”

_Well, looks like it was honesty hour._

Hanbin made a move to get out of Bobby’s lap, shooting the other rapper the darkest glare he could manage when he tightened his hold. When he was finally able to get out, Hanbin winced as he crawled back into the center of the bed, sulkily fluffing up pillows and yanking the comforter until the others got off of it so he could burrow into it and all they could see was his messy hair and slanted gold eyes.

He wasn’t nesting.

He _wasn’t._

His body just really fucking hurt and the pillows were soft and the blanket had all of their scents around him and he was cold.

“Do you know how much it sucked? Suddenly feeling like I was surrounded by strangers?”

A lot of them looked confused at his words, but both Yunhyeong and Bobby were pointedly not looking at him, like they already knew what he was talking about.

Jinhwan’s eyes widened, clearly shocked by Hanbin’s rapid mood swing. “What do you mean?”

“At first it was fine. It was barely noticeable in the beginning, honestly. After you guys told be I was too _mean,_ I tried so hard to stop being like that. I thought I was better, everyone else noticed and they liked it more and I just kept trying to push away that side of me. You guys seemed to like it more, too. So I started getting touchier because I thought you guys wouldn’t _mind,_ but then every so often someone would push my arm off and joke about how I was too clingy. And it was fine. I know I’m clingy.”

_Deep breath. Calm._

“But somewhere along the line the jokes stopped feeling like jokes, and it almost felt like you guys stopped taking me as seriously. And then you became more vocal with- with how much you all didn’t like when I did that and it really fucking hurt. I’m clingy, and I know that’s annoying. I’m needy and insecure and I don’t know how to express my feelings so instead I pick out everyone else’s flaws and point them out to hide my own, because I’m not a good person. It made sense why you guys didn’t want to be that close with-”

“Hanbin,” Bobby cut him off, finally looking up at him, “That’s not-”

“What do you fucking know?” Hanbin practically snarled at him, unable to stop himself, “You said you hated when I touched you! You _left_ me. Again and again and _again._ You don’t get any fucking say in this. Do you know how much you’ve hurt me? I don’t _care_ if you don’t like me the way I like you, I can get over that.” _Lie._ “But do you know how much of a shitty friend you’ve been?!”

Bobby was visibly taken aback, but the _shock_ soon morphed into his own short _anger,_ “You isolated yourself! You could have fucking talked to us but you didn’t!”

“I isolated myself because you guys obviously didn’t care! You always paired off together, and I was just _there._ It- It didn’t, it was _fine._ But then it kept _happening_ and I was always left alone.” _Deep breath. Deep breath._ “It...It was easier. That way. It was easier if I decided to go alone, first. Because then it was my choice. And it hurt less. It was easier to lie to myself. At first I wanted to see if you noticed. But nobody cared, nobody said anything.”

Hanbin curled up into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself.

He felt so _exposed._

But he couldn’t stop.

“So I kept backing off. And it was okay. I was okay. It stopped bothering me and I just got used to it.” _Lie. Lie. Lie._ “Seven is an odd number, and I was okay with being the- the odd one, than someone else feel left out. I was okay. But then my- my suppressants stopped working. And then Yunhyeong found out, and then all of you found out, and now the whole fucking world knows. And you guys are just...okay with that? First you’re all yelling and fighting and then I go into heat and everything is just _okay?_ That’s- That’s not how it works. And I just can’t help but wait for everything to just go to hell because I’ve learned that nothing ever goes right for me. So why should I expect this to be any different?”

They all looked guilty, and Hanbin had to rest his forehead against his knees, taking deep breaths to avoid throwing up from all of the bitterness clouding the room. Part of him was fucking _terrified_ now that he had just spilled everything, but the other part just didn’t care.

 

“I-” Bobby started, “I don’t know what to say...other than I’m sorry. I’ve- I have been a really shitty friend, huh? I’ve made so many mistakes, and I wish I could just go back and stop them from ever happening. But I can’t…” Bobby trailed off, looking around the room, “Could I talk to Hanbin alone?”

Yunhyeong looked between Bobby and the still curled up Omega, and then to the four others, “Okay. But we should finish talking about this later.”

He motioned for them to leave, but not before pressing a kiss to the top of Hanbin’s head, whispering out a soft _“I love you”_ that made Bobby’s heart clench.

What he didn’t expect was for Yunhyeong to do the same thing to him, pecking his forhead with a matching _“And you”_ before joining the others.

And what he really didn’t expect was for his heart to unclench, at that.

But now he was alone with Hanbin.

Bobby was about to open his mouth when Hanbin beat him to it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled out, still not lifting his head up, “I shouldn’t have pushed you to do anything-”

“Hanbin,” Bobby tried to cut him off.

“-I just might need some time to get over it-”

“Hanbin, I bit you.” Bobby tried again.

Hanbin groaned, somehow managing to curl up even tighter, “I know, and I’m really sorry you had to do that. I wasn’t- I wasn’t even thinking about how uncomfortable you would be. I-”

“No. Just now. I bit you again. I claimed you. I’m claiming you.”

Now that actually shut Hanbin up, the Omega pulling his head up and looking to Bobby with wide eyes.

His eyes had gone gold when Bobby bit him.

“Wha-What?” Hanbin asked, placing his hand over the left side of his neck, right over the slight bruise of Bobby’s bite mark. “Oh...why?”

“I’m so sorry that I hurt you, and I know I could repeat it a thousand times and it still wouldn’t be enough. I never meant to hurt you, and I never wanted to make you think that I didn’t care about you. I do, I do care, so so so much, Bin. But I didn’t think about how my actions and words affected you,” Bobby said, taking a few breaths as he moved to sit in front of Hanbin, “I know it’s shitty but I was so hurt that you didn’t want to be pack with us. It- You just started pushing us away and it _hurt._ None of us knew how to talk to you without you snapping at us. It was impossible to tell what you were feeling through your scent, and when we could, you always smelled _angry._ Everytime you touched me, it just made my entire body tense up, and it just felt like my skin was burning.” Something in Hanbin’s eyes seemed to _click,_ but Bobby didn’t stop to ask what, “I just...I guess I just started getting really annoyed, and recently it’s gotten so much worse. I seemed to be fighting with either you or Junhoe non-stop, and my mom told me it was because I wasn’t in a pack. I’m 23, Hanbin. Most Alphas are mated, or at the very least in a pack before this. And I know it’s no excuse for how I’ve been acting towards you, specifically, but I guess I was just really confused. I didn’t know how to come to terms with being somebody’s Alpha, I had never even thought about mating until now. But it was you. It’s always been _you._ I don’t even think I like guys like that, but I know I care about you, and I want to be there for you, even though I’ve been pretty shitty these past few years. I don’t want to keep hurting you. I want to protect you. As your friend, as your hyung, as your Alpha.”

Bobby was panting by the time he finished, looking at Hanbin’s shocked and completely unguarded face, not able to unmix the cocktail of emotions in both his eyes and his scent.

“I want...I want to trust you,” Hanbin started slowly, looking back down at his knees, “But...I don’t know if I can, right now.”

“I guess I deserve that. We- We could take it slow? I’ll court you, and we can do it right.”

Truthfully, Bobby had no idea how any of that worked. He had never been in a relationship before, didn’t know if he wanted to be in one, but somehow it seemed right?

“I...I think I’d like that,” Hanbin whispered, still not looking up at Bobby. He found it kind of funny how Yunhyeong was the one that rushed into it, but Bobby wanted to take it slow.

Bobby moved a little closer, wanting to pull Hanbin into his arms but deciding against it, “Do you want to go back with the others? I think Yunhyeong decided to finally bite everyone else.”

“Can I just stay here? I...I’m not really feeling very-” Hanbin paused, head snapping up to look at the alpha, again, “W-Wait. You mean-?”

Bobby gave him a crooked grin, “Yeah, Bin. We’re a pack now.”

A small smile formed on Hanbin’s face, slightly wobbly but still _there,_ before it slipped off, “B-But what about you?”

Pulling down the collar of his shirt, Bobby flashed the already healed bond mark, sitting proudly on his right shoulder, “I was first,” He said, grin sharpening, “Well, after you.”

That made Hanbin pause, insecurity clear in his voice, “Are you...mad? That I mated with Yunhyeong? Or that I still want the others to help me with my heats?”

Bobby had to think about that, for a moment.

_What did he feel about Hanbin wanting Yunhyeong? Wanting all of them?_

Bobby still didn’t know how he felt about Hanbin wanting _him,_ let alone all of them.

But he wasn’t against trying, anymore.

After his small pause, Hanbin only seemed to get more worried, so Bobby quickly tried to form an answer.

“Not anymore? I guess I was confused in the beginning, because I didn’t understand, but I think I do now, at least somewhat. I just want you to be happy. And I’m sorry that I’m such an idiot.”

Hanbin huffed out a small laugh, quickly cutting it off with a wince as he curled back up.

Bobby immediately closed the small distance between them, “What’s wrong?”

“I feel like shit. I think my body wants to start crying but I can’t and it’s just giving me a really bad headache because my body hates me and wants to be in pain all the time,” Hanbin blurted out, stopping to take several deep breaths before continuing, “So could you...un-Alpha command me? You- You can leave after. I’ll probably just end up crying because I feel really, really overwhelmed right now, and crying is probably going to make it even worse-”

“Hanbin-ah, **_you don’t have to listen anymore._ ** It’s okay.” Bobby cut Hanbin off, watching the omega’s shoulders rise with a few deep breaths.

There was a brief moment when his shoulders relaxed completely, and Bobby was a bit thankful, but then Hanbin’s breathing turned shallow, small hiccuping sobs breaking through.

Again, it was impossible to ignore the pull from Hanbin’s distress, Bobby slowly unwrapping the younger from his blanket cocoon and _slowly_ pulling Hanbin into his arms.

The response was almost immediate and Hanbin _melted_ against him.

“Shhhh, it’s okay,” Bobby whispered into Hanbin’s hair, wrapping them back up in the comforter and letting Hanbin curl into him.

Bobby didn’t know how long it took for the tears to stop, but he never let Hanbin go, kept them pressed together until the younger’s sobs slowed to small sniffles.

He hated seeing Hanbin cry, hated being the cause of it, but things slowly felt like they were looking up.

And then Hanbin stilled in his arms.

 

“G-Get Yunhyeong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live on the Virginia’s-Pennsylvania boarder, and I’m barely a few hours from Fairfax, Virginia, so. Yeah. 
> 
> Also, to clear up some questions~  
> (Don’t question my logic, I literally put zero thought into this ABO verse before starting it)  
> Uhh mating bites can only be “official” between an alpha and an omega, and those are on the neck/over the omega’s scent gland.  
> Bonding bites can only be done by the pack Alpha, and they’re like shoulder area??
> 
> Idk y’all. 
> 
> Okay okay. WINNER. picture this  
> Seunghoon is technically pack Alpha, even though the four of them are all pretty equal with it, and it’s mainly for bonding purposes.  
> Seunghoon’s bite is on both Jinwoo (beta) and Minho (alpha) and it’s just a bond mark. On Yoon (omega) it’s a mating bite, and Yoonie also has Minho’s mating bite. So even if Yoon is only technically mated to the two alphas, all four of them consider themselves to be mates.  
> Mating bites have to be done while an alpha is knotting an omega, but if an alpha (or a beta) just bites without doing that, it’s just a claiming bite. Think hickey. So an alpha can put a claiming bite on a beta, or even another alpha, but they can’t technically ‘mate’  
> (Yes I have a WINNER spin off planned.)
> 
> Realistically, the main pairings for this story are going to be  
> Hanbin/everyone and technically everyone/everyone (because I fucking can) and then predominantly Yunhyeong/Hanbin/Bobby, Junhoe/Jinhwan, and Donghyuk/Chanwoo. 
> 
> ....it’s 4 am I’m not really capable of rational thinking right now WHY DO YALL READ THIS HEADASSERY. ITS BAD. 
> 
> IT’S  
> SO  
> B  
> A  
> D


	9. Love is something that happens over time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With each piece connected, the puzzle started becoming slightly clearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Adore You - iKON  
> Well.  
> I feel like every time I post I should apologize to y’all for making yinz wait for my shitty writing but. Whatevs. 
> 
> I reread this for the first time earlier and just....why? Like what in the holy hell was I thinking??  
> Too late now ig.
> 
> And y’all have to remember to look at things from both sides!! From the others’ perspective, even if they hated Hanbin’s scent, they did still try and get him to form a pack with them, even be the pack leader but Hanbin kept refusing and pulling him away.  
> Now the reason he pulled away was because they kind of nudged him out, but they did that because he was being reclusive, but he was like that because he was worried about how they’d react and blah blah blah and it’s a never ending cycle of PAIN.
> 
> Enjoy~

“Hyung?”

“Yeah, Bin?”

“Do you…” Hanbin trailed off, never quite knowing how to voice his insecurities.

Especially not after years of trying to be _betterbetterbetter._

_Trying to be something he wasn’t._

Yunhyeong turned onto his side, letting Hanbin slide off of him so they were lying face to face. “Do I…what?”

Hanbin still couldn’t meet the Alpha’s eyes. He felt stupid, he knew he was just being insecure, but he couldn’t help but feel that way.

“Hanbin,” Yunhyeong said, tilting the rapper’s head up to look at him, “Remember what I told you? Talk to us, let us know what you’re thinking.”

Finally catching Yunhyeong’s gaze, just for a second before pulling away, Hanbin sighed, “Do you regret it? Mating...with me?”

Yunhyeong’s eyes widened, “Why would you even think that?”

“After- After this morning...you were kind of...avoiding...me?” Hanbin started, glancing up at Yunhyeong’s face and quickly backtracking, “Or m-maybe you weren’t? And I was just being stupid. I didn’t mean to imply-”

“Hanbinnie, you’re right,” Yunhyeong cut him off, “I was avoiding you. I just, are you sure that this is what you wanted?”

Hanbin wished he could push the insecurity away, but he _couldn’t._ Instead, he was thinking about why Yunhyeong would avoid him, and then _ask_ him that. Did Yunhyeong regret it? Is that why he asked it like that? Did he want Hanbin to back out first? _Could_ he even back out?

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that,” Yunhyeong clarified, “No, I don’t regret doing it, but I do regret rushing it. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I should have made sure you were okay with everything.”

“Okay with what?” Hanbin was confused. “Knotting me? I gave you permission to help me with my heat, I kind of figured knotting was apart of it. And before you bring it up, I should have told you I was on birth control-”

“I could have asked,” Yunhyeong argued back, “Or thought to use a condom.”

“Hyung, you can’t expect to do everything right the first time.” Hanbin could have stopped the Alpha at any time. 

“And you’re okay with the mating?”

Hanbin gave him a small smile, “I don’t think you know _how_ okay I am with it.” He wanted it for _so_ long, and that was all he could even think about this past week. The days leading up to his heats were always filled with that desire, but it was present even before that. “I can’t tell you how many times you’ve done something, and all I could think was _‘Wow, he’d be such a good mate.’_ I-” He paused, breathing out another small sigh, “That’s why it hurt so much, because somewhere along the way...I ended up falling for all of you.”

He was blinded for a moment, looking at the bright smile that Yunhyeong was giving him.

“When was my moment?”

When _was_ Yunhyeong’s moment?

“There were a few, I guess. I wasn’t used to people...caring about me, not so _outright,_ at least. And not while everyone thought I was an Alpha. So seeing how worried you were when I ran away...I guess it made me start liking the idea of you? And, like, you wanting to take care of me. And then the dad jokes started actually making me laugh, and they’re not even _funny._ You always made sure I was eating. You’ve even _cooked_ for me when I would get back after midnight. You made sure I kept going. You were a quiet reassurance, and I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

 

Yunhyeong didn’t know what to say to that. There was so much he didn’t do right, still wasn’t doing right.

Instead of trying to speak around the lump in his throat, Yunhyeong pulled Hanbin flush against him, taking in the scent of _sweet, sweet cinnamon_ and _home._

 

“I’m scared,” Hanbin quietly admitted, the words breathed out against Yunhyeong’s collarbone.

Hanbin didn’t know what was waiting for him back in South Korea. They couldn’t stay here forever, and Hanbin couldn’t hide away from the public eye, no matter how much he wished he could.

“That’s okay,” Yunhyeong whispered back, just as soft, “Because we’ll always be right there with you.”

“What if people treat me differently?” There were still very few Omega leaders, even fewer male ones. Other than Jiyong and Seungyoon, Hanbin could maybe think of two others from groups that ended up ‘flopping.’

Yunhyeong hummed, “They probably will, but you’ll just have to prove to everyone that it doesn’t matter. Think about how many people already look up to you, how many people will continue to support you. Just like us.”

Hanbin could feel his eyes start to water, and he cursed his body and just how easy it was to make him cry when he was in heat.

“I didn’t mean to push you guys away.”

“I know, baby. We didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to.”

Maybe things would be okay, after all.

There were so many things Hanbin wished he could go back and do over, but that wasn’t possible, and the only thing he could do is accept that this was how it was going to be, and that was okay.

He would be okay.

 

* * *

 

“Ugh,” Junhoe groaned, “What time is it?”

Jinhwan rolled his eyes, shoving the Alpha on the floor with his foot, “It’s barely 8, just like it was when you asked 10 minutes ago.”

“Why am I so tired then?”

“Because every time you eat, you put yourself in a food-coma,” Chanwoo cackled, lightly kicking the elder in the rear.

“You think _you’re_ tired,” Hanbin grumbled from his place next to Junhoe on the floor, hugging a pillow and a heating pad to his stomach as Donghyuk sat behind him on the couch, rubbing his shoulders with the same stuff Chanwoo had used the day before.

Whatever that shit was, it _worked._

Hanbin had a feeling that it would become a very essential part of his heats.

Junhoe rolled over, shoulder bumping Hanbin’s knee as he snagged the tube that was sat next to the Omega, squirting a little out on the back of his hand and sniffing it.

“Euwck, it smells like Donghyuk,” Junhoe said, nose scrunched up at the minty smell, “Oh my god, it’s heating up, _why?”_

The Alpha’s digusted face almost brought Chanwoo to tears, as well as made the rest of the group laugh.

“That’s how it works, dumbass,” Chanwoo snickered, kicking Junhoe again as the Alpha played with the gel on his hand.

“How the hell do people use heated lube? And _like_ it?” Junhoe exclaimed, still confused by the weird tingly feeling on the back of his hand.

His question made Hanbin groan again, shoving his face into the pillow, “No more sex talk. _Please.”_

His back hurt and his stomach hurt and his hips hurt and his ass hurt and Hanbin was so _over_ it.

“Should- Are you normally in this much pain?” Bobby softly asked. He was worried, they were all worried. Cramping was perfectly normal for heats, but usually happened a few days before, during the pre-heat, and stopped before the actual heat started.

“No,” Hanbin grit out through clenched teeth, Donghyuk’s fingers having moved to his upper back, “But it’s been three years. A lot has changed since my last heat.”

A lot had changed in the past few months. A lot had changed in the past few _days._

Truthfully, Hanbin was expecting to just wake up and find out that everything had been a dream.

And that he was still a liar and his friends still hated being around him.

 

“Switch me?” Yunhyeong asked Donghyuk, moving to take the Beta’s seat behind Hanbin and taking over massage duties, “Hanbin, do you remember the talk we had before the show? When I brought up the suppressants, there was something you were avoiding talking about. What was it?”

Hanbin stilled, he knew exactly why Yunhyeong brought that up, connecting two semi-unrelated topics. When he had told the Alpha about his less-than-ideal presentation, he had left out everything about his father, and all of the negative things he had been experiencing with the suppressants.

“They...aren’t exactly good...for you,” Hanbin hesitated slightly, already knowing where this conversation was going.

 

“And you’ve been taking them every day, for six years?” Bobby asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

After his talk with Minho that morning, Bobby had looked up as much as he could about the harmful effects of suppressants on an Omega’s body. Bobby only knew about rut blockers, which he (and the other two) have and do take occasionally, but they were vastly different from suppressants. Rut blockers were a lot less harmful, and much more mild on the body, than suppressants. YG was pretty willing with time off for heats and ruts, but if an important date came up in conflict with a rut, all of them prefered to just take a rut blocker than miss out on something.

Rut blockers just dulled the arousal, suppressants _completely_ shut down omega hormones.

Alpha or Omega, you weren’t meant to suppress more than one cycle in a row, however, like Hanbin had been doing since his presentation.

From what Bobby knew, Hanbin wasn’t going through a ‘normal’ heat cycle. His waves seemed to be sporadic and ranging in intensity, and Jinhwan had mentioned both the fluctuating fever and the mood swings.

Forget the cramping, but all of the other pain Hanbin had mentioned.

The _dropping._

It was worrying.

Hanbin hadn’t answered.

So Bobby continued.

“Hanbin-ah, you need to go to-”

“No.”

 

Hanbin knew _exactly_ what Bobby was about to tell him.

“I’m not going to a hospital. I’m fine.”

Hanbin hated hospitals. Hospitals meant you were sick or hurt or something else was wrong with you.

Like presenting as an Omega.

Yunhyeong’s hands stilled on his back, “Hanbinnie…”

“Seriously. I’m fine. I don’t need to go to a hospital,” Hanbin argued, pulling away from Yunhyeong, wincing as he put his shirt back on and stood up. He didn’t like being sat on the floor with all of the others above him. It felt like they were talking down at him, even though he knew they weren’t, but his _stupid_ Omega brain and his _stupid_ Omega body naturally wanted to submit.

Hanbin wasn’t going to submit. He would just have to make them understand that he was _okay._ He could deal with this.

“You can barely eat anything without throwing up. Who _knows_ how bad those suppressants messed you up. You need to go,” Jinhwan shot back, trying to keep his tone from going scolding. He knew how Hanbin reacted to being forced into things, but they need to make him understand that what was happening was not _okay._ He needed help.

Hanbin’s eyes narrowed, tone getting sharper, more _desperate,_ as he turned his glare to the ground, “Once they get out of my system, I’ll be fine-”

“Hanbin, you’ve dropped three times in the past week,” Yunhyeong cut him off, almost pleading, “Most people can go years without dropping _once._ It took almost two hours to pull you back up earlier.”

“We were so worried,” Donghyuk murmured.

At that, Hanbin couldn’t help but look up at the Beta, but Donghyuk’s head was low, eyes not even visible under the brim of his cap.

His chest hurt.

And then Hanbin couldn’t help but look at all of them.

Both Yunhyeong and Jinhwan were looking right at him, eyes soft but mouths drawn into twin frowns. Junhoe was pointedly looking at the floor in front of him, just like Donghyuk, while Chanwoo’s gaze never seemed to stay in the same spot for more than a few seconds.

Hanbin didn’t want to look at Bobby.

He didn’t know what he would see. He didn’t know what he _wished_ he would see.

Looking at Bobby would make him conceed to whatever the Alpha wanted him to do, but Hanbin wasn’t going to do that.

“I’m okay,” Hanbin tried to assure, but the words even sounded weak to him. It was hard to believe himself when any time he was standing for more than a few minutes caused the floor to start moving under him.

He didn’t want to think about all of the things that were wrong with him, because that meant he wasn’t okay, he wasn’t _perfect._ He needed to be better.

Out of his peripheral, Hanbin saw Bobby stand up and start walking towards him, so he kept his eyes down and arms crossed, even if looking at the floor was making his head spin.

“Hanbin-ah.”

_Don’t look._

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby tried again, hands coming up to rest on the Omega’s upper arms.

_Don’t look._

“Please just listen.”

_Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t look._

“We just want you to be safe.”

He looked.

Hanbin’s knees buckled.

“Minho gave me the contact for the doctor Seungyoon sees,” Bobby said, gently lowering both him and Hanbin to the floor, “No hospitals. It’s a dynamic clinic that specializes in Omega healthcare. Seungyoon really thinks you should go,” Bobby leaned closer to ‘whisper’ in Hanbin’s ear, “Plus he made us promise and I’m kind of scared of him.”

That pulled a small smile out of the Omega, but it didn’t stay for very long before disappearing.

Hanbin couldn’t help but think about what Seungyoon had said to him.

_“They fucked up my body pretty bad. I can’t conceive anymore.”_

What if that happened to him?

“It’s easy to forget about the future if you’re always looking at the past. You need to take care of yourself.”

Bobby was right, they were all right, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Something was wrong, and if Hanbin wanted to be able to continue performing and making music, then he needed to be able to actually stand for more than ten minutes at a time.

“Okay,” Hanbin conceeded, not thinking as he dropped his forehead against Bobby’s shoulder.

_No hospitals._

As long as he didn’t have to go alone, he’d be fine.

 

“Binne, can I get your suppressants? I want to hold onto them until we get back,” said Yunhyeong, not wanting to hide his intentions from Hanbin. 

He was worried that the Omega would panic on the way back and try to take them, even if he _hoped_ Hanbin was smarter than that.

“But what if I need them?” Hanbin gawked, still leaning pretty heavily against Bobby, effectively crushing Yunhyeong’s hope of him at least having enough self-preservation skills to know not to use them after this.

“Hanbin, I love you, and I don’t want you to think I’m trying to control you, but I’m never letting you touch those things again.”

Sighing, Hanbin relented once more, “Inside my suitcase there’s a zipper at the bottom, everything’s in there.”

 

_So much for standing his ground._

Not even waiting for Yunhyeong to say anything, Chanwoo sprung up from his seat next to Jinhwan and went to retrieve the items.

For a moment, Hanbin was tempted to tell the Beta to stop, worried that he had ended up packing a vibrator or something, until he remembered that Chanwoo’s fingers have literally been in his ass.

He wouldn’t mind them being in his ass right now.

_Fuck._

_Don’t whine._

He kept forgetting that he was leaning against Bobby’s shoulder, but even so often the Alpha would shift behind him, or make a small noise that made Hanbin’s heart race.

Hanbin always felt the fever rise back up whenever he was near Bobby, and-

_Oh. Duh._

Even if he had just come out of a wave, being that close to the Alpha felt like he was rushing headfirst into another one.

“You need to move,” Hanbin said, not looking at Bobby as he rushed the words out.

“What?” Bobby didn’t know why Hanbin was suddenly frozen against him, until the implications of the Omega’s words mixed with Hanbin’s flushed face. “Oh, uh. Sorry. Yeah. I should- Yeah,” Bobby stuttered, quickly moving from behind Hanbin and stumbling on his way back to his seat.

Hanbin huffed out a small laugh, even though it made his chest hurt, as he shakily stood up only to fall into Junhoe on his way to Yunhyeong.

_That was annoying._

“Well. Guess I’m sitting here,” Hanbin grumbled to himself, sulkily dropping himself against Junhoe’s back.

“Uh...I think I got everything?” Chanwoo said as he walked back into their circle, setting the items down in front of Hanbin, “But I don’t know what most of this stuff is.”

Hanbin hummed, sitting propped against Junhoe’s side as the Alpha stayed sprawled out on his stomach, “These are the suppressants,” he tossed the case towards Yunhyeong, “Uh, scent blockers, clogs your scent glands.” Very uncomfortable, also why they had been so sore when Yunhyeong found out. “Muscle relaxers, I’m keeping these-”

“What’s this?” Junhoe questioned, picking up a plain bottle that had rolled towards him.

Hanbin hesitated, but he didn’t get the chance to answer before Junhoe sprayed some onto the back of his hand.

“Why do you have to smell every goddamn thing?” Jinhwan bitched.

But then Junhoe growled.

It was low, and rough, and _challenging_ and it sent so much _terror_ running up Hanbin’s spine that he froze up against the Alpha, even though his entire body was screaming to _runrunrun._

Everything _hurt._ Every bruise lining his arms, dotted on his hips, they all _throbbed_ at the sound.

He couldn’t move.

Hanbin couldn’t stop the low whine that slipped out, _panicked_ and _afraid._

“Shit- Fuck. I’m sorry,” Junhoe quickly apologized, sitting up to pull Hanbin back against him as he tried to switch to _calming_ pheromones.

Hanbin still flinched and bared his neck as soon as Junhoe touched him, but one quick nip just below Yunhyeong’s bite was enough to calm him down, letting him relax slightly against Junhoe’s chest.

 

“Alpha pheromones,” Hanbin quietly clarified, even though he was sure everyone in the room could smell what they were.

“That’s…” Bobby started, eyes wide as he finally put together the last piece, “That’s the scent…”

The scent that they all hated, the scent that made them avoid Hanbin.

_Yeah._

That was what gave Bobby the _burning_ feeling whenever he touched Hanbin. That’s why his muscles always tensed up whenever he so much as _smelled_ that.

He didn’t remember it getting that bad until after they had debuted, but he knew the opposite was true for Junhoe. The youngest Alpha claimed that it was so much worse in the beginning. _Why?_

“Is that the only one you’ve ever used?” Bobby asked, making Hanbin looked at him confused.

 

“I- No?” Hanbin tried to remember, he’d gone through a plethora of different items to find combinations that worked that he could barely remember what hadn’t, “Oh. Uh. When...When I first presented and my father took me to get the suppressants, they had been...testing? A new product. It was essentially synthetic pheromones. Well the first one...the one I had been using until after Mix & Match ended up testing pretty harmful, so I had to switch to a different one.”

“Synthetic pheromones?” Jinhwan sounded curious, picking up the bottle and smelling it, “Oh. Yeah. That.”

“I already figured out that that was why you all hated touching me after I freaked out earlier, so I guess everything really was my fault after all, huh?” Hanbin murmured, curling up in between Junhoe’s legs.

“We could have talked to you, instead of pushing you away. That wasn’t your fault,” Donghyuk tried to reason, anxiously playing with his hat.

Instead of answering, Hanbin just shrugged, letting the room fall quiet.

He did, however, stand up from Junhoe’s lap, ruffling the younger’s hair as he shakily moved to drop himself into Chanwoo’s.

Sitting _on_ Junhoe was starting to make him feel horny again, but he honeslty just wanted his back rubbed some more.

“I can’t believe you hid it for so long,” Chanwoo broke the short silence as he slipped his hands under Hanbin’s shirt, lightly pressing his thumbs into the sides of the Omega’s back, being careful around the sharp outline of his ribs.

Hanbin sighed, managing to pull his legs up onto the couch, hugging his knees to himself, yet again, “Yeah well, I guess I just got to be a better liar.”

He looked up at all of the others, still seeing that same mix of _guilt_ and _sadness_ that was tainting the air.

“And...you guys are- are sure about...this? Me being... _your..._ Omega?” Hanbin continued, still confused as to how they could just be _okay_ with that.

“Of _course,_ Bin,” Yunhyeong said ernestly.

“Even...Even if I can’t have pups?”

“Could you? Before, I mean?” Chanwoo softly asked as he looped his arms around Hanbin’s stomach, making sure not to press down too hard.

“I...don’t know. I...I never _wanted_ to know. Not now, at least. My primary care physician was friends with my- my father, and I was scared that if we tested, and I _could,_ then he would make me- would make me-” Hanbin took a deep breath, not able to finish that sentence, “And I was too young to really care. I’m still too young to have to worry about that...but I can’t help but think...what if I could? And by doing all of this I lost that- that chance? I...I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

-

“Chanu-ah, rub my back,” Hanbin whined, flopping his legs over the Beta’s lap and sprawling out on the couch.

“Ask someone else.”

“But you’re the best at it,” Hanbin pouted, trying to act cute even though he really was in pain.

It was the second day of his heat, meaning that by Monday he should be _done_ with it.

He couldn’t. Fucking. Wait.

Chanwoo grumbled, but ultimately relented to Hanbin’s plea, sitting up to stradle the back of Hanbin’s thighs to work on the rapper’s lower back.

“June, stop being so rough with him,” Jinhwan scolded the Alpha when he walked in and sat down, smacking him on the back of the head and making Junhoe growl in response.

Hanbin tensed up at the sound, but he knew that Junhoe was just playing around.

 

Not wanting to deal with the grouchy Beta, Junhoe instead moved to sit with Bobby and Donghyuk in front of the TV, where the older two had managed to hook up a game system, desperately trying to figure out the directions, as it was entirely in Japanese.

“I wasn’t being rough,” Junhoe groaned. Hanbin was just... _fragile,_ right now.

 

Bobby was surprised at the chuckle that left his mouth. He was still iffy about helping Hanbin with his heats, but the _jealousy_ had dulled down somewhat since bonding, even if it was always at the back of his mind. It was easier to ignore, especially with how _normal_ everyone was making it seem.

Did growing up without a real pack make that much of a difference?

 

“You know, he’s never going to let you stop now,” Jinhwan joked, the Beta going back to scrolling through his phone.

“Yeah, I figured,” Chanwoo sighed, even as he pushed Hanbin’s shirt up so he could rub the gel into his skin.

 _“Fuuuuck,”_ Hanbin breathed out, head pillowed on folded arms, “I would like to make a donation to the company that makes this stuff. No, wait. I’ll become a sponsor and they can send me free shit.”

Chanwoo made sure to rub all of the extra into Hanbin’s skin before patting the leg he had hanging off the couch, “Turn over.”

Hanbin was confused by the maknae’s request, but ultimately listened. Trying to flip over without getting up was surprisingly difficult, but Chanwoo made it easier for him by standing. “What now?” Hanbin questioned, raising an eyebrow at the maknae.

He wanted his back rubbed.

His back was currently not being rubbed.

Something was wrong here.

Instead of verbally answering, Chanwoo took his place back on the couch, pulling Hanbin’s legs to sit over his,

“Jung Chanwoo, no fucking on the couch,” Jinhwan grumbled.

“Yah, I’m not,” Chanwoo shot back, ignoring the older Beta’s indignant squawk at his blatant disrespect. He squeezed some more of the gel onto his hands, gently pressing his fingers into the area just above Hanbin’s hipbones.

“Okay, yeah, no. This is good, too. This works. I’m- _ahh,”_ Hanbin’s rambling was cut off by the small gasp that escaped when Chanwoo’s fingers dug into a particularly bad spot, “Fuck, wow, that’s- _oh-_ okay.”

“No fucking. On. The. Couch.”

“Jinan-hyung, I love you, but please shut up,” Hanbin gasped, he didn’t think that Chanwoo would be able to help the pain in his pelvis, but he should know never to doubt his maknae. “Chanu-ah, I love you more. You’re the best maknae ever and I’m sorry for all of the times I’ve made you cry. Please never stop whatever you’re do- _iiiing, hnnnnn.”_

The fingers were the perfect balance of firm and gentle, and Hanbin wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up getting hard from this.

He would definitely end up getting hard from this.

It felt _fucking amazing._

 

“I’m baaack!” Yunhyeong called from the door, “Hanbinnie, do you think you’ll be good to fly back Monday?” The Alpha walked into the room, making Chanwoo pause his minstrations as Hanbin sat up slightly, “Or do you think you’ll need another day?”

“I should be okay.” _Hopefully._

“Well, manager-hyung is booking the flight for Monday. He wants to be as discreet about it as possible, and he wants to get back as soon as we can,” Yunhyeong said, sitting behind Hanbin against the armrest and pulling the younger back to his chest.

Woohyuk, as well as a few members of their security, had stayed with them at the hotel, although thankfully stayed out of the way while all of the pack drama was happening, instead chosing to call by the poolside.

“Hanbin’s heat hasn’t exactly been very textbook,” Jinhwan countered, “Maybe we should wait a bit longer.”

“I just wanna go home and see my mom,” Hanbin muttered, snuggling back into Yunhyeong as he moved Chanwoo’s hands back to his hips.

_God. Being touched was so nice._

Both Yunhyeong and Chanwoo stilled for a second, and Hanbin realized he said that out loud.

Hanbin was about to apologize when Jinhwan started laughing at something on his phone, turning all of the attention in the room to him.

“I’m sorry, but someone memed your face right before you ran off stage and now half of iKONIC’s tweets are about it.”

“Glad they’re enjoying my pain,” Hanbin groaned, even if he really was happy that they were treating the matter lightly, rather than making it seem like he was dying.

He loved their fans, even though they seemed to roast them more than any other fandoms did.

“Listen to this one,” Jinhwan started, “ _‘Hanbin’s face is YG when he realizes that iKON is one of the best things that happened to k-pop.’_ If only. Oh! _‘Does this mean Hanbinnie is not just the only idol to win Songwriter of the Year, but also the only Omega to win?’_ Wow.”

“Don’t forget the youngest!” Donghyuk chimed in, taking his eyes off of the TV finally as he tried to blink away the spots, “Woah.”

_Was he really?_

“These are only the Korean ones, I don’t even want to know what the English ones say.”

Bobby flopped on his back, reaching his hand towards Jinhwan, “Gimme.”

The beta handed over the phone, Hanbin feeling guilty when he saw the cracked screen, as Bobby sat on the floor between Jinhwan’s legs.

 

Bobby scrolled through to find some english ones he could read, face going scarlet almost instantly, “Nevermind,” he said, trying to give the phone back to Jinhwan. He couldn’t believe how _shameless_ twitter fans were.

“Nooo, Kimbappie, I wanna know what they’re saying,” Hanbin pouted, not realizing that he hadn’t called Bobby that in _months._

_Not since-_

_“I hate it when you touch me.”_

Bobby did notice, however, and that only made the blush darken.

“Fine,” Bobby groaned, trying to look for one that would be easy to translate, “ _‘I always knew Hanbin was a bottom. His butt is too nice.’_ Uh.”

Well that didn’t help the blush.

“Hey! Just because I’m an Omega, doesn’t mean I’m a bottom,” came Hanbin’s indignant reply, making all of them start laughing at him. “Seriously,” He pouted, “I could top if I wanted to.”

“Do you want to?” Donghyuk snickered.

“...Not really,” Hanbin shyly admitted, letting out a nervous laugh.

Bobby missed his laugh.

“Read another,” Jinhwan demanded, lightly yanking Bobby’s hair.

This time he didn’t even think to translate, just read the tweet out in English so Jinhwan would stop terrorizing his scalp, “ _‘Thinking about Bobby helping Hanbin with his heat makes me wet.’_ ”

As soon as he realized what he had read, Bobby slammed the phone on the ground and covered his face with his hands, groaning.

 _Why did he read that one? Out of_ all _of the other tweets?_

“What did that mean?” Chanwoo questioned, squirting more gel onto his hands.

Donghyuk looked equally as confused, “Wait. I only understood Bobby, Hanbin, heat, and wet...oh... _oooohhhh.”_

_Stop blushing. Stop blushing. Stop blushing._

God didn’t seem to be on Bobby’s side, however, because Chanwoo chose that moment to resume rubbing Hanbin’s hips, shocking a particularly loud moan from the rapper.

“Remind me not to go into heat as a virgin ever again...Wait...Was I the only virgin in the group?”

-

“Night, Binnie, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jinhwan said, pulling the younger into a hug.

Everyone but Yunhyeong and Hanbin were finally heading back to their original rooms, leaving Hanbin with several goodnight hugs, even though he’d be seeing them again in a few hours.

Not that he was complaining.

“No. Not you,” Hanbin said, holding his hand up against Junhoe’s chest to stop the Alpha from hugging him, “I’m mad at you. My ass still hurts.”

“I wasn’t being that rough,” Junhoe grumbled, moving to leave with Jinhwan. The pout left as soon as the Beta jumped on him, demanding to be carried back, the Alpha running after the two other maknae’s that had left first.

Leaving Hanbin with Bobby.

Bobby smiled, blush from earlier still lightly painted across his cheeks as he pulled Hanbin in for one final hug.

It was so hard not to melt into the hold and demand Bobby stay with him, but Hanbin was able to hold his ground, only allowing himself 5 seconds before he would pull away.

Except when he tried, Bobby didn’t let go.

“I’ll be back.”

The words were whispered just above his ear, and Hanbin was thankful that Bobby hadn’t tacked on the _I promise_ he knew the Alpha wanted to say.

Hanbin didn’t think he could take hearing that again.

“I’ll be back,” Bobby repeated, even softer that time, pulling away from Hanbin. He wasn’t able to stop the fond look when Hanbin started to follow before catching himself and moving back, not quite meeting Bobby’s eyes.

_Don’t leave._

“You’ll be back,” Hanbin whispered, but only after Bobby had already left.

He was alone.

He knew he could join Yunhyeong in the shower, but he just really wanted to pass the fuck out.

Hanbin slowly made his way back into the bedroom, feeling every single ache he had _double_ at the thought of being alone.

He needed to get over it.

The room felt a little too warm, thankfully not spinning, and Hanbin groaned at the thought of his heat spiking again so soon.

While he was alone.

Hanbin crawled back under the covers, struggling out of his shirt and whining softly as he was once again surrounded by the scents from all of the others.

He regretted not letting Junhoe hug him, the alpha’s scent having faded since they last were alone together.

 _God._ Junhoe didn’t hold back that time.

At the thought of what the youngest Alpha had done to him, Hanbin’s attention was brought to the slick that was once again slowly leaking out of his ass.

He wanted Yunhyeong. He wanted Bobby.

He wanted _anyone._

 _No._ Yunhyeong deserved a few minutes of peace. So did the others. Hanbin was fine by himself.

But he was so _empty._

_Fuck._

It had been a while since he had done this.

Hanbin whined again as he kicked his shorts and underwear off, one hand sliding between his body and the mattress to wrap around his half-hard cock, the other behind him as he pressed both his pointer and middle fingers in together, still loose from earlier.

_Not enough._

“Hyuuuung,” Hanbin whined, growing more and more desperate, _“Hyung!”_

He couldn’t get the angle right, unable to do it by himself.

Hanbin was _spoiled_ these past few days. Couldn’t even finger himself, anymore.

“Hyung, hyung, hyung,” Hanbin repeated, slipping a third finger in just as the shower turned off.

 

Yunhyeong rushed in the room, shampoo still in his hair and towel barely held up around his waist, “What’s wrong?”

The Alpha couldn’t see what was happening unfer the covers, but Hanbin’s rapidly sweetening scent already gave it away.

“Oh, baby, want me to call Chanwoo and Donghyuk back up?” Yunhyeong asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and carding his fingers through Hanbin’s hair, “They can get you all nice and settled.”

Yunhyeong would do it, but he was slightly hesitant to knot Hanbin after the younger had taken both his and Junhoe’s in the past few hours, made even more of a bad idea by the amount of discomfort the Alpha mega was in earlier.

 

“B-But it’s late,” Hanbin said, even though the idea of the two Betas sounded _amazing._

“It’s only 11, pup. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, and Donghyuk said he wanted to help next,” even though Yunhyeong had already finished typing out the message on Hanbin’s phone, the device still sat plugged in on the bedside table, “Do you want to do anything before they get here?” He asked the Omega, gently petting over trembling shoulders.

There _was_ something Hanbin wanted to try.

“Wanna suck you off.”

 

Yunhyeong took in a sharp breath, Hanbin looking up at him through thick eyelashes, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, please, _please._ Wanna taste you,” Hanbin begged, fingers slipping out of his ass as Yunhyeong unwrapped the towel from his waist.

“Okay, baby,” Yuhyeong guided Hanbin to be in between his legs, words catching in his throat as slick covered fingers settled at the base of his cock.

 

Hanbin wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, but he did know that he wanted as much of Yunhyeong’s scent on him as possible, so he nuzzled his face right by where his hand was. The _ginger_ was so much stronger than the _oud_ here, and smelling the spice mixed with the sweetness of his own slick made Hanbini whine at the thought.

Fingers threaded into his hair, never tugging, as more slick ran down the back of his thighs.

He didn’t actually know what he was doing, but his mind was too hazy to be embarrassed of his inexperience. After finding that he _had_ been the only complete (Donghyuk just barely beating him with _one_ blowjob) virgin in the group, any other dignity he had just left.

Plus there couldn’t be _that_ much to it, just dick in mouth, lots of wet and don’t bite down.

Yunhyeong’s moan when the Omega mouthed at his length told Hanbin that he was at least doing a halfway decent job, so he pulled back up to take the head of Yunhyeong’s cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head a few times before trying to relax his throat to take it in deeper.

It felt good. It felt really good. It felt _great._

Even though the insistant _emptyemptyempty_ was pulling at his mind, just having any part of his mate inside him, being able to _please_ the Alpha was making his Omega _purr._ He was able to find a rhythym, bobbing his head with the slight rock of Yunhyeong’s hips, never forceful.

He almost forgot the _no biting_ rule as another set of hands rested on his ass, over the blanket covering his lower half.

Whining with a dick down your throat was hard (ha), but Hanbin still got the hands to slide the fabric off of him, shivering slightly as his feverish skin was left exposed to the air.

The fingers continued to prode around his ass, and Hanbin pulled off of Yunhyeong’s to beg the two new scents to _please do something_ when it felt like all of the air was punched out of his lungs, leaving him to crash against Yunhyeong’s thigh, mouth open and panting out hot breaths against the skin.

That was a tongue.

That was a _tongue_ on his _ass_ and it felt fucking _amazing._

There was nothing Hanbin could do as the tongue lapped up some of the slick, circling his rim a few times before pushing _in_ and Hanbin thought he could _scream._

He didn’t scream, but he did end up coming untouched almost as soon as the muscle had breeched him.

Hanbin knew the two scents, the soft _apple_ and _mint_ of his two maknae Betas filling his head and he couldn’t help but whine out again.

Yeah, the tongue felt _amazing_ but it just wasn’t _enough._

Now that he’s had _something_ inside of him, the _emptyemptyempty_ was even harder to push back than before.

“Fuck- _More,_ please,” Hanbin begged, wanting _more,_ but still whimpering when he was left even _emptier_ than before.

He didn’t have to wait long, thankfully, as words were exchanged above him that Hanbin wasn’t in the right mind to understand as Yunhyeong pulled away from him and a still clothed Chanwoo slid in his place, not even giving him time to feel the separation.

Hanbin caught the words _shampoo_ and _wash_ and he coldn’t help but laugh internally at the thought of his first time giving a blowjob being while Yunhyeong’s hair was covered in suds and spiked up into a mohawk.

Being away from the Alpha’s scent actually helped to clear his head a little, and Hanbin was able to piece together the conversation left with the two Betas.

“You wont hurt him, seriously,” Chanwoo urged, fingertips digging back into Hanbin’s upper back as he tried to convince Donghyuk of something.

Hanbin almost came again at the feeling. Chanwoo’s fingers were _magic._

And apparently his tongue was, too.

“But I don’t know what I’m _doing,”_ Donghyuk whispered back, just as urgent.

It was almost funny, so Hanbin decided to mentally sit this one out as he lost himself to the press of Chanwoo’s kneeding.

“Just press lightly, go slow.”

_Fuck, yes. Do that._

Hanbin gasped as a finger touched the slick skin _there._

Donghyuk’s fingers moved curiously, slowly, exploring the new sensations as Hanbin was left reeling.

“Push one in,” Chanwoo guided.

_Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes. Please._

The stretch was almost nonexistant, especially as he had been fucking back on his own fingers just a few minutes ago, but a groan still pushed its way out of Hanbin’s mouth as soon as the finger started moving.

After a few soft pumps, Chanwoo told Donghyuk, “If you think he’s stretched out enough, add another.”

Donghyuk must have taken too long, because Hanbin felt one of Chanwoo’s hands slide along his back to join the other Beta’s.

Seconds later another finger hesitantly slipped in alongside the first, and it wasn’t much but the stretch was still felt to both the Beta and Hanbin, his fingers being thinner than Donghyuk’s own.

There was just something so indefinitely _better_ about somebody else taking care of him like this, and Hanbin didn’t realize that tears were running down his face until one slid off his nose and dripped onto Chanwoo’s pants.

Donghyuk didn’t need to be guided to add a third finger in, Chanwoo’s hand still staying at the small of his back, as Hanbin pushed back against them.

“How do I kno-”

 _“Ah!”_ Hanbin cried out, cutting off Donghyuk as his back arched, pushing his cock against the mattress underneath him.

“His prostate? Congrats, you found it,” Chanwoo dryly joked, but Hanbin could smell the Beta’s _arousal_ right next to his face.

“Do I keep…?” Donghyuk trailed off, movements slowing down slightly.

Chanwoo rubbed his hand along Hanbin’ spine, making small goosebumps raise on the Omega’s arms, “Don’t be too rough, or...forceful? I guess. Rather than pressing, just skim your fingertips over it. He likes when you just drag the pads of your fingers along the inside.”

Hanbin wanted to ask when Chanwoo decided he got a degree in sex, and who gave him the right to say what Hanbin liked, but then Donghyuk did exactly _that_ and Hanbin did actually have to muffle his scream into his fist as he came again, cum staining the sheets under him.

Dr. Jung Chanwoo. PhD in fingering Hanbin’s ass.

“Oh _shit,”_ Donghyuk gasped out, feeling Hanbin tighten around his fingers, “That was- Wow.”

Hanbin agreed.

Just as he was finally recovering from his second orgasm, Yunhyeong walked into the room, heavy scent going straight to Hanbin’s dick and almost immediately making him hard again.

It smelt like the Alpha had been hard since he left earlier.

 _“Hyung,”_ Hanbin crowed, “Alphaaa-ahhh,” Just as Donghyuk moved his fingers again.

Yunhyeong paid no mind to his pleas, instead walking over to the bed and dropping a short kiss against Donghyuk’s lips, “Looks like you learn pretty fast, pup.”

Hanbin wanted to be kissed. _No fair._

“Hyuuuuung,” Hanbin tried again, “Wan’ your knot.”

Yunhyeong hesitated, “Are you sure that’s a good idea, baby?”

The radiating _ache_ was _gone_ and he was _fine._ Hanbin just wanted someone’s _dick_ in his _ass._

When Yunhyeong continued to not do just that, Hanbin let out a low _growl._

He wanted them to _listen._

Lifting himself off and away from Donghyuk’s fingers, Hanbin placed himself directly into Chanwoo’s lap, blue eyes narrowed as he looked at the Beta.

In liue of an answer, Chanwoo managed to slide his trackpants down to just under his cock, letting Hanbin have his way with him.

At the Beta’s submissiveness, Hanbin felt another growl leave his throat, though it quickly turned into a whine as he grasped Chanwoo’s half-hard cock, strocking it a few times before positioning himself over it and just _sinking down._

 _“Hahhhh,”_ Hanbin breathed out once he was fully sat down, head thrown back and mouth open from the sensation, Chanwoo making a similar sound underneath him.

The Beta wasn’t as thick as Yunhyeong, but he was slightly longer than the oldest Alpha, and the position they were in meant Hanbin was able to take him a lot deeper than any other position he had been in.

 _Fuck._ He would probably _die_ if he let Junhoe fuck him like this.

Chanwoo didn’t move, hands just coming up to rest on Hanbin’s hips, thumbs pressing into the soft area above his pelvis once again as he let Hanbin set the pace.

Almost losing it right then, Hanbin took a breath to steel himself, lifting himself up slightly before dropping back down, feeling the air rush out at the feeling.

_Yup. New favorite position._

Chanwoo let out a soft whine below him, and the thought of _pleasing_ his pack like this just spurred him on even more.

It was difficult for him to keep up with the pace he set, quickly growing tired as he pushed himself up one more time, rocking his hips slightly on the way back down.

Hanbin didn’t have to worry about anything after that, when Yunhyeong’s soft hands gripped his waist, forcing him to move along Chanwoo’s cock as Donghyuk pressed an open mouth kiss against the younger Beta’s lips.

“No faaair,” Hanbin whined, “I want kisses.”

Barely waiting for the two youngest to separate, Hanbin pulled Donghyuk into his own breathless kiss, just as Yunhyeong let him fall back onto the hard length under him.

 _“Holy-_ Why didn’t we do this _sooner?”_ Cried Chanwoo, feeling like he was seconds away from losing it.

Hanbin couldn’t agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again. I apologize. 
> 
> Also, to those questioning Yun being an alpha,  
> The boys have all said that Yunhyeong is lowkey the leader in everything but official band stuff, and he’s basically their irl pack Alpha anyway lmao. 
> 
> Bobby’s getting there. 
> 
> Chapter nine and ten are both pretty mild!! No mental breakdowns and everything is calm :)  
> For now :))))
> 
> It’s 4 am. I can literally only update at 4 am. 
> 
> ((FOLLOW MY TWITTER - @YGgetanAttitude))  
> Bye.


	10. If feelings could be controlled, I would have thrown away all of my regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The high before the fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Best Friend - iKON  
> Fitting
> 
> Sorry this has taken so long. It’s been done for a while but I really wasn’t happy with it and didn’t wanna post it but I’m sick of it sitting in my drafts so. 
> 
> This is 8k of literally nothing happening. 
> 
> Oops.

Sunday started out good.

Hanbin first woke up to a round of slow, sleepy sex, being passed between Donghyuk and Yunhyeong and it was _heavenly._

Chanwoo ended putting him back to sleep with a near-indecent back massage, pulling out all of the stops and making Hanbin’s brain completely turn to mush.

Hanbin loved being so... _spoiled._ They were all being so good to him, _for_ him.

He still didn’t feel like he deserved it.

It was hard accepting it.

One side of him, the _Omega_ side, was soaking up all of the attention, years of being just _there_ when all of the others continued to touch and cuddle and laugh and be a _pack,_ however unofficial it had been. It made sense that Hanbin was reacting to all of the affection as if he was touch-starved.

…Was he?

_No. He was just a wimp._

Well, the other half almost wanted to push them away. He had spent years keeping them at an arm’s length, trying to avoid letting anyone too close. Being close meant being able to see the cracks in his walls, but now they had taken down that wall.

Together.

Starting with Yunhyeong.

Hanbin didn’t want to think about how the _big reveal_ would have gone without Yunhyeong already being on his side. From what he knew, both Donghyuk and Chanwoo hadn’t even been slightly upset about it, but the others…If Yunhyeong hadn’t already been trying to _protect_ him, and instead was shocked, _angry,_ like the others had been, Hanbin would have been alone.

(Jinhwan and Bobby’s faces, in particular, still made him want to throw up when he thought about it too hard.)

He was grateful that he wasn’t alone. He was grateful that he had the others.

Yunhyeong was so _thoughtful._ He always made sure that everything was okay, and enjoyable. It was nice, being taken care of, always having someone there to fully support him.

Chanwoo and Donghyuk worked out a perfect _push-pull_ with Hanbin. If he was feeling more submissive, they gave him what he wanted, how he wanted it, but neither of them cared if Hanbin wanted to take control. They let him.

And then there was just something about the way the two Betas worked with Yunhyeong that was just so... _right._ Hanbin got the best of both worlds.

Junhoe- Hanbin _loved_ his dynamic with Junhoe. Even though he had been so worried for how Junhoe would treat him, the youngest Alpha was surprisingly _chill_ about everything. Sex between them didn’t feel like _AlphaOmega,_ it felt like two friends that were mutually getting each other off. It wasn’t overly serious, or too _feelings-y,_ it was fun. It was playful. He didn’t have to worry about fitting into a role.

Jinhwan had revealed that he wasn’t all that interested in doing anything with Hanbin, mainly because he just wasn’t into Omegas. He preferred Alphas, much like Junhoe, and that was fine. Hanbin totally understood where he was coming from. (Plus, that just mean if Hanbin ever did want to top, Jinhwan said he’d be more than willing.) Jinhwan was basically an Omega in every way but biological, so that really was no surprise.

Jinhwan was his oldest friend, his confidante, and Hanbin was so fucking _thankful_ that the Beta had stopped being so cold to him.

Bobby…

Hanbin _wanted_ him, so, so much.

It was difficult, like he had gotten almost everything he had ever dreamed of, except for that one thing he _needed._

He wanted Bobby to be his Alpha, more than _anything,_ but he was trying to come to terms with the fact that maybe Bobby just...wasn’t?

If Bobby really was _his_ Alpha, than Hanbin’s heat should have triggered his rut by now.

But it hadn’t.

He felt so affected by Bobby’s scent, but his didn’t seem to do anything for the Alpha.

 _Could that go one way?_ Hanbin didn’t _know._

But Bobby had said that he _wanted_ to protect Hanbin, _as his Alpha._

That had to mean he felt _something?_

_Right?_

But Bobby had never said that he _liked_ Hanbin, just that he wanted to protect him. Maybe he wanted to be his...platonic Alpha?

That wasn’t unheard of, in fact, it was pretty common.

An Omega didn’t _have_ to be sexual with their Alpha, but they were usually at least present in each others’ lives. It was something that was left behind from the _old ways;_ an Omega would always have an Alpha, _their_ Alpha. It didn’t matter who the Pack Alpha was, or even if the Omega was mated to another Alpha.

Now with mating between an entire pack becoming _normal,_ it was a common thing for an Omega to be mated with numerous Alphas from their pack. Now that didn’t mean an Omega had to have an _official_ bond with every Alpha in the pack to view them as a mate, but it happened.

Like, Hanbin was more than happy with Junhoe toeing the line between platonic and romantic. He didn’t really have the desire for Junhoe to bite him, to make the bond between them an official mating bond.

Hanbin had always wanted Yunhyeong to mate him, had spent years wishing that Yunhyeong was _his_ Alpha, just because that would have been such a _dream._ It would have been easy.

But Yunhyeong wasn’t _his_ Alpha, only his Alpha.

Hanbin had thought that it was Bobby, that it had always been Bobby, and that idea had _hurt_ him just as much as it had made him happy.

Recently, it had been more hurt.

But Bobby was coming around, and even if the Alpha wasn’t _his_ Alpha, that was okay. Hanbin could handle Bobby not wanting him in the same way he did, not needing him in the same way.

He could handle Bobby just wanting to look after him...platonically.

It wasn’t exactly what Hanbin wanted, but he would be okay, just as long as Bobby didn’t-

_“I hate it when you touch me.”_

_Yeah._ That.

Hanbin didn’t think he could handle that again. Even if he knew _why,_ that didn’t make it hurt any less.

He wanted Bobby to be comfortable with him, not feel like he had to be _something_ that he didn’t want to be.

He just...wanted Bobby.

In whatever way the Alpha was willing to give him.

-

“Wake up, Bin.”

Hanbin was pulled from his sleep a second time by Yunhyeong, the Alpha peppering his face in gentle kisses as he made sure to spread his scent over the drowsy rapper.

“Time’s it?” Hanbin yawned, lips going back into the soft smile that had been on his face before. He felt okay, not great, but good. Good was better than bad.

Yunhyeong hummed against his neck, “Just after 7, I’m about to start making breakfast. Want to help?”

Now that, was one thing Hanbin was never very adamant about learning. Yes, he could cook a lot of basic things, and could probably survive on his own, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed doing it.

“Where’s Chanu?” Hanbin asked, not finding the maknae in the room. The Beta was usually the one to help Yunhyeong, and actually was a very quick learner when it came to cooking.

Instead of answering, Yunhyeong pulled away, ignoring Hanbin’s pout as he circled around to the other side of the bed. Crouching down, the alpha managed to heft the youngest up onto the bed without waking him, placing him next to Donghyuk as the two Betas curled around each other almost immediately.

“Your turn,” Yunhyeong giggled, pulling Hanbin up and out of the bed, pulling the younger flush against him, “Go call your mom, she wanted to talk to you when you were feeling better.”

Hanbin blushed, “Please don’t talk about my mom when I’m naked,” he whined, making Yunhyeong laugh as he went back to scent marking him.

He wasn’t actually naked, but he was standing there in only his underwear, and being pressed up against his mate like this was starting to make him hot.

There was no need to tell Yunhyeong this, the Alpha was already pulling away and dragging Hanbin out of the room with him.

“Hyung, wait,” Hanbin laughed out, “Let me put on clothes or something.” He felt good. There was still a dull ache thrumming through his whole body, but the stabbing pain hadn’t reappeared, and that was nice.

“No, I like you like this.”

Hanbin blushed again, this time out of embarrassment tainted with _disbelief._

His body…was _different,_ now that he was off the cocktail of drugs he had been taking.

It wasn’t an overnight change, and it wasn’t even that _big_ of a change, but it felt _worlds_ different to him. When the suppressants stopped working as well a few months back, Hanbin had noticed that it took a lot more effort for him to keep his physique, so after a while, he just gave up.

His waist and hips were more... _there_ now, that was really the only outright noticeable change, but it _a lot_ for him.

Jinhwan had even joked that his shoulders were broader than Hanbin’s now, and it was probably true.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yunhyeong asked, softly, “You wanna grab one of the hoodies from my stuff? Or...Hold on.”

Yunhyeong walked a few paces away from him, pulling Bobby’s flannel overshirt that he had been wearing the day before from where it was semi-concealed behind a pillow.

When the Alpha presented him the item, Hanbin just stared at it.

“C’mon, I guarantee he left it here on purpose.”

But what if he hadn’t? How would Bobby feel seeing Hanbin in his clothes? Would he be uncomfortable?

The idea of making Bobby back off again made Hanbin feel physically sick, but the offer was too tempting.

Going against every rational thought he had ever had, Hanbin slowly nodded, letting Yunhyeong pull the fabric around him.

The shirt was already oversized, and Bobby usually wore a size or two bigger, so the thick material was long enough to graze the bottom of his boxers.

Hanbin still couldn’t believe they were pack.

Hanbin still didn’t know where Bobby stood. With him. With Yunhyeong. With everything.

“You okay?” Yunhyeong tried again, pulling the Omega down onto the couch when Hanbin didn’t answer, “Talk to me.”

“Why,” Hanbin started, trying to form his thoughts into an understandable sentence, “Why did you get so...possessive of me? The first time? Especially...with Bobby?”

There wasn’t a lot of coherent thought happening on Hanbin’s part during that, but he did know that Yunhyeong was very...not like himself, when it came to his actions towards Bobby that day.

Yunhyeong took a slow breath, more for Hanbin’s sake than his own, trying to show the younger that he was calm, and the question didn’t upset him, “Well, I guess by that point I had already started to view you as my mate, and some of the others, like Bobby, were potential threats to you. Bobby is an Alpha, and he wasn’t pack, and he _just_ hurt you, literally hours before that. You were an unbonded Omega, in heat, so I didn’t want him around. And especially not with how he had been acting. Junhoe, too, but he stayed out of the way, so I felt more comfortable with him. Even Jinhwan, to an extent, but that was why I was trying to push a pack bond before your heat started.”

Hanbin supposed that made sense. He wasn’t upset that Yunhyeong viewed him as his, it wasn’t objectifying, it was just because Yunhyeong had been the first one Hanbin had sought out, the _only_ one. So technically, Hanbin was his, in that sense.

“But...What about Chanu?” Hanbin asked, thinking about how Yunhyeong had been so willing to let the maknae help.

“That’s where the line blurs a bit. Chanwoo being a Beta was already better, and also it was very obvious that his touch was soothing you. I probably would have let Donghyuk help, had he asked,” Yunhyeong clarified, rubbing Hanbin’s back as the rapper leaned against him.

_Chanwoo’s touch…soothed…him?_

Hanbin thought over why that could be. It was true, now that he thought about it, but it wasn’t comforting in the same way Yunhyeong’s was, or securing like Junhoe’s, or…whatever Bobby’s made him feel.

When it became obvious that Hanbin wasn’t going to answer, Yunhyeong pressed a kiss to his temple, “Call your mom, baby,” he said, standing up, “And then can you call the others? I’m gonna start breakfast.” One more kiss. “I love you.”

-

“Chanuuuuuuu~”

Sigh, “Yeah, hyung?” Chanwoo asked, dragging his fingers through Hanbin’s hair, the rapper almost asleep against him.

“I figured out why you have magic fingers.”

Chanwoo shared an amused look with Bobby and Jinhwan, “Oh yeah, and why’s that?”

Hanbin nosed at his neck, “When the three of you came, I was angry. I felt threatened, not just for my group, but for my _family.”_

Chanwoo noticed that both Junhoe and Yunhyeong stopped moving around in the kitchen, and even Donghyuk seemed to stir from his nap, trying to listen to Hanbin’s sleepy mumbles and see where they went.

“But for some reason, there was always a different feeling with you than the others. Hongseok said I imprinted on you. That means you’re _my_ maknae.” Hanbin said, curling up even farther into Chanwoo’s hold, “Mine.”

 

As Hanbin started to give a drowsy retelling of the _Hongseok situation_ to Chanwoo, Bobby fell into a state of only half-listening.

He couldn’t stop thinking about walking in to see Hanbin curled around his heating pad in a sunny patch of one of the couches, wrapped up in the shirt that Bobby had _accidentally_ left behind, half asleep with his phone lying on his face.

“How are you feeling?” Jinhwan softly asked, leaning against Bobby’s side and breaking the Alpha out of his thoughts.

_How was he feeling?_

Bobby was feeling a lot of things.

He was nervous, and overwhelmed, and most of all still so _confused._

“I don’t want to mess this up, hyung. I _can’t,_ not again. I’m just...I have no idea what I’m doing.” Bobby could only think about Hanbin, smaller and sadder, curled up in his arms. He couldn’t do that to him, not again, never again.

Jinhwan made a noise of agreement, “Well, none of us do, but we’re gonna figure this out together. We wouldn’t be iKON without him, and now it’s time for us to take care of him. We have to be there for each other.”

In that moment, Bobby was so incredibly grateful to Jinhwan, even if the Beta was merely stating what Bobby already knew, he said it in such a way that made it seem so much less _daunting_ to think about.

Rather than giving a serious answer back, Bobby lightly shoved the eldest’s shoulder with his own, “Wow. Jinan-hyung, when do you become so wise?”

Jinhwan snorted, shoving Bobby back, “Yah, shut up you brat.”

Smirking, Bobby closed his eyes, and for a while the only sounds were Jinhwan’s quiet breathing next to him and Junhoe’s less quiet singing from the kitchen.

Yunhyeong had somehow roped Junhoe into helping him, letting the other two maknaes (the usual helpers) relax.

It sounded like it was going...okay.

_Ish._

“Look at how happy he looks,” Jinhwan broke the silence, but just barely, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so...comfortable.”

Bobby opened his eyes to look at Hanbin, the leader had wormed his way almost entirely onto Chanwoo’s lap, dead asleep as the Beta continued to play with his hair.

Finding out that Hanbin had imprinted on Chanwoo made a lot of sense. Of all of the three maknaes, Hanbin had always been the toughest, but also the nicest, to Chanwoo. Hanbin was always trying to help Chanwoo make the most out of his talent. Bobby had attributed it to Chanwoo being the only one that was more than just a few months younger than him, but imprinting had probably played a very big part.

Not only that, but Chanwoo seemed to react to Hanbin’s emotions the most out of all of them, or at least in a different way. The two had a way of quietly seeking approval from each other, Chanwoo wanting to be a good performer and a good maknae, Hanbin wanting to be a good hyung, a good leader.

 

“Uhh, can someone help?”

After letting Hanbin sleep on him for almost an hour, Chanwoo tried to move the Omega off of him, but he whined and tightened his hold.

“I really, _really_ have to pee,” the Beta continued, looking to Bobby for help.

Chanwoo didn’t know where the line was between to two of them, but frankly, he had to piss too much to care at this point. He didn’t really want to wake Hanbin up, not after finally getting him back to sleep.

 

Bobby snorted at him, “Do you want me to pick him up?”

“Yes, _please.”_

Bobby let out another snorty laugh, the one time Chanwoo said _please_ to him and meant it was when he had a dire need to use the restroom.

Standing up, he crossed the few feet to where the two younger males were curled together, working to gently uncurl Hanbin’s fingers from Chanwoo’s shirt before he could separate them.

As soon as Bobby had gotten one hand unfisted, Hanbin had switched his grip to curl his fingers around Bobby’s thumb.

Jinhwan snorted, “He’s like a baby.”

And he was.

Right when Bobby had made the move to lift the other rapper up, Hanbin hadn’t even whined at being untangled from Chanwoo, just let out a little _huff_ as he curled up in Bobby’s arms, instead.

Chanwoo had immediately booked it, barely waiting for Hanbin to be up before he was gone.

Bobby knew he should just put Hanbin back down in the place Chanwoo had been seated, the Beta’s scent would probably keep him from waking up.

But he didn’t want to.

He wanted Hanbin to curl against him like that, like he used to before their friendship got a little more strained then it had been.

Hanbin had always been touchy, but recently none of them had been able to witness that anymore (his fault), so seeing Hanbin so willingly curl against each of them but him didn’t exactly feel great. Bobby was kind of put off at the fact the Hanbin only ever let Bobby hold him when he was sleeping or in some sort of emotional distress.

Cuddling used to be normal for them predebut, but after that, everything felt like it had changed.

They should work to normalize it again, right?

They were still best friends, and best friends cuddle all the time.

“Stop standing there like an idiot, loverboy, and just give him to me.”

_Loverboy._

_Hanbin. Back against his chest. Shower. Mine._

Feeling the blood rush to his face when he realized just how close Hanbin was pressed against him, Bobby had done exactly what Jinhwan said, depositing the sleeping leader onto the Beta and ignoring the whine Hanbin made at the action.

He also ignored the tug in his chest from the whine, but instead, Bobby chose to flop himself down onto a sleeping Donghyuk, blowing into the Beta’s ear to try and get a rise from him.

“Fuck off,” was Donghyuk’s sleepy grumble, “I’m still mad at you.”

“Awww, c’mon,” Bobby whined, “I thought we had a _moment.”_ The moment he was referring to was the only semi-tense video game session that the two had the day before, trying to work out the knots in their relationship without really using words.

Bobby knew that Donghyuk has been mad at him for almost a month, but the past week had really put a strain on them. Donghyuk was always quick to jump to Hanbin’s defense, the two being the closest in age, and he was even willing to fight Bobby to keep him away from the Omega.

Donghyuk continued to _huff_ at him, but ultimately let the Alpha lay down on top of him, only occasionally complaining about not being able to breathe while he tried to fall back asleep.

The two other Alphas sounded like they were just finishing up in the kitchen, Chanwoo was back from the bathroom, Hanbin was sleeping on Jinhwan, and Bobby was lounging on Donghyuk.

It was calm, for a while.

 

And then Hanbin whimpered.

Jinhwan barely had a second to react before Hanbin’s elbow was jammed into his ribcage as he pushed himself away from the Beta.

 

When his eyes finally snapped open, Hanbin felt all of the air rush out of his lungs as his back hit the floor and he was left staring up at the ceiling trying to not throw up. His left arm throbbed with a pain that hasn’t been real since he was 17 and had _lingered_ in front of the stairs for too long.

His ears were ringing as he lifted a hand to feel the back of his head, but when he pulled it away to see his fingers clean of the blood he knew should be there, he felt even sicker.

Blue eyes wide and flashing in panic, one-by-one he watched the _realization_ cross everyone’s face, slowly morphing into various levels of _pity,_ and _anger,_ and _grief_ that filled the room, leaving Hanbin with so much fucking _shame._

Jinhwan didn’t get the chance to touch him, fingers barely inches from his shoulder before Hanbin was on his feet and rushing out.

He didn’t want their pity.

Pity meant that the others were only being nice to him because they felt sorry for him.

Hanbin didn’t make it very far before arms locked around his waist, pulling him against a solid chest as he tried to calm the nauseating pounding at the back of his skull.

“Hanbin, it’s okay. You don’t have to run away.”

_Safe. Yunhyeong was safe._

Unlike himself, Hanbin let Yunhyeong slowly pull him back into the room, filled with all of the others that were barely containing all of the different emotions from before. Donghyuk still looked murderous.

He could still feel the pitying stares and the sad gazes, even if their eyes weren’t trained on him, anymore, but he was trying not to shrink back into himself. He wanted them to know that he was okay, he could deal with it, has been dealing with it since he was 16. He was fine.

Yunhyeong continued to lead him to one of the couches, Chanwoo having vacated in order to take over whatever the Alpha had been doing in the kitchen, and Hanbin let himself be pulled down into the elder’s arms.

He wanted to hide, but instead, he curled himself up, facing the back of the couch as Yunhyeong pressed behind him.

The involuntary whine he let out only served to make the arms around him tighten, but that was okay. He felt safe.

-

Sometime after a very quiet and somber breakfast, Bobby and Donghyuk seemed to reconcile and the two trouble makers were back to goofing off with each other, lightening the mood a considerable amount.

Hanbin had calmed down enough to leave Yunhyeong’s side, but only barely, and now he found himself leaning against Junhoe as the two of them debated which actresses were the prettiest in the drama they were watching.

Being close with Junhoe felt different than the others. Junhoe didn’t automatically curl an arm around his waist or pet his hair, didn’t whisper soft words into his ear or try and help the cramping, he just sat there.

It wasn’t awkward, or tense. It was casual, it was Junhoe letting Hanbin perch half on his lap for height, arm curled around the second youngest’s shoulders as he ran a hand through his hair.

At first, Junhoe tensed up at the touch, but slowly relaxed against Hanbin’s side.

Junhoe, who was not only an Alpha, but also the tallest and the strongest out of all of them, didn’t really get treated like a maknae very much, despite being the second youngest.

Even when Junhoe _was_ the youngest in the group, Donghyuk had always been the maknae, just because he was the newest, and didn’t mind being coddled.

So even if Junhoe was really only 5 months younger than Hanbin, he was still younger.

Hanbin decided that he would try to be more of a hyung to him, and not just the other two maknaes.

But then the hand Junhoe had casually resting on his thigh started to move higher, and Hanbin realized that being apart of maknae line meant having zero shame when it came to fucking.

(He thought Donghyuk would be a little more tactful, but after learning some tricks, there was a brief encounter in the kitchen that still made Hanbin’s toes curl when he thought about it.)

The hand stayed still for all of five minutes before Junhoe started kneading his fingers right at the part where Hanbin’s thigh went into his lower pelvis and there were literal _centimeters_ between the Alpha’s fingers and Hanbin’s dick, so it was only to be expected that he started to take interest.

Hanbin could see Jinhwan side-eying them, so he was preparing himself for another _‘no fucking on the couch’_ rant from the Beta, but he never got the chance before Junhoe threw him over his shoulder, like Hanbin weighed _nothing,_ and sauntered off towards the bedroom.

The slick that had been ever-so-slowly leaking out of his ass turned into a steady flow at the weightlessness, even as Jinhwan yipped a _“Be careful with him!”_ when Junhoe carried him out.

The sex, as usual, was fun and flirty and Hanbin was sure that there would be a dent in the wall with how hard Junhoe had pushed Hanbin against it.

He would probably be left with even more soreness than before, but it was totally worth it.

Hanbin liked that Junhoe didn’t treat him like he was made of glass.

After finding out that Junhoe was ridiculously good at giving head, they had moved back to the bed, Hanbin deciding that, _fuck it,_ he was going to ride Junhoe if it killed him.

It wasn’t until some blurred line between the fourth and fifth orgasm that Hanbin started to feel _off._ His head was swimming and all of the sudden his body felt heavy, making him stop what he had been doing.

Junhoe, who was surprisingly observant when it came to Hanbin, immediately noticed.

The Alpha, for all his boasting of having a ridiculous libido and never-ending stamina, wasn’t exactly lying. His knot was only barely starting to swell, but Junhoe almost immediately stopped, holding himself back with a control that none of them really expected him to have.

“Hanbin? You good, dude?” Junhoe questioned, trying not to move much to avoid shifting them.

Hanbin groaned, “Please don’t call me ‘dude’ when your dick is in my ass,” or at least, that was what he wanted to say, what actually came out was a broken whine that instantly made Junhoe tense.

He wanted to assure the Alpha that he was okay, he was fine, but Hanbin just felt _too_ hot, _too_ dizzy, and then something warm slid over his cheekbone.

“Oh fuck, oh _fuck,_ oh my god,” Junhoe panicked, making Hanbin squeeze his eyes shut at the noise, “HYUNG!”

It felt like both seconds and hours passed before Yunhyeong opened the door, instantly rushing to them with Jinhwan hot on his heels.

Junhoe pulling out barely registered, but somehow between two blinks, Hanbin found himself sat on the low counter in the bathroom, Jinhwan pressing a wad of tissues against his nose while wiping his neck and face with a cool cloth.

The dizziness was starting to fade away, but Hanbin was still grateful that the eldest two chose to keep the light off, knowing it would only hurt his eyes.

“You feeling okay?” Yunhyeong softly asked.

Hanbin could only bring himself to shrug slightly, trying to avoid moving his head too much but at the same time not wanting to speak.

What could have been minutes or hours passed by again, and Hanbin finally felt okay enough to lift his head from the cool tile, having been lying down on the counter-seat for however long they had been in there.

“I think the blood stopped.”

That was good. The blood stopping was a good thing. He wanted cuddled.

Even if Junhoe wasn’t exactly the top of the list for _‘best to cuddle’_ (he was probably last), Hanbin was worried that Junhoe was freaked out by what had happened, and he couldn’t let one of his maknaes feel bad because of him. That made him a bad hyung.

He didn’t want to be a bad hyung.

“Wan’ June-ya,” Hanbin mumbled.

The two seemed slightly shocked by his request, but Yunhyeong nodded, walking out of the bathroom to get the youngest Alpha.

More time ticked by with nothing happening, so Hanbin shakily stood up, ignoring Jinhwan’s protests as he checked to make sure all of the blood was gone before leaving the room.

For once, Hanbin had no desire to look at Bobby, even though he could feel the Alpha’s eyes following him as he made his way to the other two Alphas.

It was almost funny. Junhoe was hidden with his head entirely under the covers, while Yunhyeong was awkwardly petting his shoulder.

Jinhwan usually dealt with moody Junhoe, not Yunhyeong.

As soon as Yunhyeong saw him, he moved away from the bed, pressing a kiss to Hanbin’s forehead before leaving him with Junhoe.

Hanbin really liked when Yunhyeong kissed him. Kisses, in general, were pretty nice.

His thoughts still felt a bit scattered, and the short journey between rooms made the dizziness reappear, so Hanbin let himself fall back onto the bed, curling up under the covers behind the Alpha.

At least the cum sheet had been removed.

For the first few seconds, Junhoe was incredibly stiff in front of him, but Hanbin tightened his arms aroung the younger’s waist, pushing his face into the solid muscle in front of him.

“Relaaaaax,” Hanbin whined, “Be my little spoon.”

 

Junhoe gave a begrudging _huff,_ but ultimately relaxed slightly in the omega’s arms. He wasn’t really used to being the little spoon, but he didn’t completely hate it.

It seemed that everything went wrong whenever he was the one to help Hanbin through a wave, between him dropping after the first time to the random nose bleed earlier. Maybe he just wasn’t a good Alpha.

“Hey, hey, you aren’t a bad Alpha. You’re great, you don’t treat me like I’m breakable. I like that, I like you. You’re warm,” Hanbin mumbled against his back, “Big Alpha teddy bear.” He was only ever going to be the big spoon when he was with Junhoe, it was decided. “You’re good. You’re great. Good boy.”

Despite how shitty he felt about it, Junhoe smiled at the words.

Hanbin’s approval meant a lot to him.

Not just as the only Omega in the group, but as his leader.

Junhoe liked this side of Hanbin. Ignoring the incident, post sex Hanbin was the best, all hazy and had zero filter. It was fucking hilarious.

-

When Hanbin woke up the fifth _(Fifth!!)_ time that day, it was with his forehead still pressed between Junhoe’s shoulder blades, but there were no soft kisses or gentle fingers.

No, instead he was greeted with a pounding headache and cotton mouth, meaning he was probably dehydrated.

He’d rather have the kisses.

So rather than get up and walk to the kitchen by himself, Hanbin decided he would wake up Junhoe.

He opened his mouth to whine out the younger’s name, but instantly felt like he was going to throw up.

_That wasn’t good._

Hanbin pressed his forehead against the back of Junhoe’s neck, trying to take steady breaths as he squeezed his eyes shut.

_Breathe._

Junhoe sleepily turned in his arms, probably woken up by Hanbin’s fingers digging into his hip, “Hyung?”

Hanbin’s face was a shade or two paler than usual, but it was hard to notice anything else because the Omega had pressed his face right between Junhoe’s pecks, whimpering softly.

“Hanbin? You okay?”

“‘m fine,” Hanbin swallowed, feeling the nauseousness fade away enough for him to at least talk, “Or not, my body hasn’t decided yet.”

Junhoe smoothed Hanbin’s hair back, “What do you need?”

Hanbin just wanted to be surrounded by _pack._ He wanted the _warmth_ and _comfort_ and _familiarity_ that being around all of them provided.

“Wanna see the others. Walk slow or I might throw up on you.”

Nodding, Junhoe slowly readjusted his hold on Hanbin, trying not to jostle the Omega as he lifted him off the bed. Hanbin immediately curled into him, hiding his face in the curve of his neck as he made the short trip to the other room.

They were greeted with a multitude of questions, but Junhoe shook his head and everyone backed off. After placing Hanbin between Yunhyeong and Jinhwan, he went straight to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

“I take it you’re not feeling any better?” Yunyeong said, letting Hanbin sit sideways in his lap.

Hanbin shrugged, he did feel slightly better now that he was with all of the others, “Kinda lightheaded. Kinda feel like I’m gonna puke. Kinda horny.”

“Three strikes, you’re out,” Junhoe lightly joked, handing the bottle of water to Hanbin.

“Do you think this has anything to do with the nosebleed?” Jinhwan asked.

“Maybe,” Hanbin shrugged again, “Probably. It’s happened before, usually when I get overheated.”

Bobby let out a breath, “Is that what happened at the YG concert a few years back?”

“And practice the other month,” Donghyuk chimed in, remembering the day they had to cut their schedules short because Hanbin’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding for _hours._

“Yeah,” Hanbin sighed. He hated talking about all of the little (and not-so-little) ways his body liked to say _‘Fuck you!’_ to him. He hated being reminded about all of the stupid shit he had to put up with. He hated his stupid body.

“Is this a suppressant thing?” Jinhwan’s eyes narrowed slightly, “Or is it because you don’t want to eat?”

Hanbin’s shoulders tensed up at the almost-sharp tone of the Beta.

_Made Jinhwan mad. Jinhwan was mad at him. Badbadbad-_

_Fucking_ stop _it._

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Hanbin matched the glare with his own, although it was probably not one of his best. He didn’t want to deal with this.

Jinhwan sighed, face softening as he grabbed Hanbin’s hands, stopping him from wringing them together, “I’m sorry. I know you’re trying. I just don’t want to see anything bad happen to you.”

Hanbin nodded.

He didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

-

After the others let the topic drop, Hanbin continued to drift in and out of consciousness for the next few hours, not really following any of the conversations around him.

Sleeping so much was just making him feel even more exhausted.

Go figure.

When Hanbin woke up for the what-the-fuck-ever time, the headache was still there, but thankfully he didn’t feel like he was in their washing machine on the spin-cycle, so that was a plus.

He also woke up to no Yunhyeong.

He wanted Yunhyeong.

Opening one blue eye to sneak a glance around the room, trying not to alert anyone that he was awake, he immediately honed in on Bobby.

Rational thought be damned, Hanbin stood up from the couch and _gracefully_ strode (read: stumbled) toward his destination.

The only thing running through his mind was _mate,_ and since Yunhyeong wasn’t there;

Bobby.

Said Alpha was too busy looking at his phone to notice Hanbin until the leader was already directly in front of him, giving him zero time to react as his shoulders were pushed back and he had a lapful of snuggly Omega.

 

Even when Bobby and Hanbin used to cuddle, it was never quite this...intimate.

Bobby couldn’t help but tense up, even as Hanbin went almost completely limp against him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the other night, the first night.

He didn’t know what to _do._

Yunhyeong and the two maknae Betas were on a food and manager run, and Junhoe and Jinhwan had disappeared into the bathroom 5 minutes ago, probably to fuck in the shower.

Leaving Bobby with Hanbin.

 

“Oh god, sorry. I- Sorry. Didn’t think,” Hanbin stuttered out once he realized Bobby was dead quiet underneath him.

 _God._ Why was he so _stupid?_

Just that morning he was telling himself not to push Bobby, yet here they were.

“Sorry,” Hanbin repeated, moving to get as far away from the older rapper as he could.

Before he could even stand, arms came up to wrap around his waist, gently tugging him back against Bobby’s chest, “You don’t have to go,” Bobby whispered.

Hanbin felt a shiver run down his back in response to the hot breaths grazing the back of his neck that accompanied the words. He _did._ He did have to go.

But he couldn’t.

Almost immediately after hearing that, Hanbin felt his body relax against the Alpha as he let Bobby turn him around, tucking the smaller male against his chest.

There had been no command, or even a slight persuasion behind the words, so why did Hanbin so willingly give? Why did Bobby’s words hold so much power over him?  

Hanbin _hated_ it.

He hated that he was willing to do anything to please Bobby. He hated that this meant nothing to the older rapper. He hated that it just furthered proved that Bobby wasn’t his Alpha.

Hanbin needed to move. If he stayed like this, with his head tucked under Bobby’s chin, it would only be a matter of time before his heat started spiking again.

He wasn’t even thinking about where the others were, not when his head and chest were filled with _BobbyBobbyBobby._

It had taken Hanbin being this close for him to realize just how sweet the _honey_ of Bobby’s scent was, such a contrast between the _smoke_ and the _pine._

Angry Bobby smelled like a forest fire. Happy Bobby smelled like a pine grove on a sunny day. Content Bobby smelled like a campfire. Sad Bobby smelled like water-logged embers.

What was this Bobby?

Yunhyeong’s _ginger_ was always the strongest when he was with Hanbin, just like Junhoe’s _dark chocolate_ was (Jinhwan made it come out a lot, too), but Hanbin couldn’t remember a time when Bobby’s _honey_ had been so prevalent.

_It was just because he was an Alpha, with an Omega that was still in heat on top of him._

_Nothing more._

It had taken everything in him to not whine out at the thought.

Here Hanbin was, wrapped up in Bobby’s shirt and Bobby’s arms, everything he had wanted.

But it didn’t really have it, did he?

Bobby was still tense under him, his movements were slow and unsure, like he was only doing this for Hanbin’s comfort.

That thought made him want to cry.

He was so _selfish._

Bobby was probably only doing this for him, and was actually very uncomfortable with it, but instead of getting up and walking away, Hanbin stayed.

He stayed, hoping and praying to some god, _any_ god, that his heat didn’t start to spike being so close with Bobby.

Hanbin didn’t want to move.

 

The choice, however, was made for him when he woke up _(again)_ half an hour later to the smell of _fire_ and all Hanbin could process was _getawaygetawaygetaway._

As soon as Hanbin startled awake, gold eyes unfocused when Bobby had tightened his arms around him, which only made the need to _run_ so much worse.

His dream had been some warped memory that was just a mess of every _command_ that had ever been put on him.

Bobby showed up multiple times.

And Junhoe.

And his father.

So when Bobby let out a low growl when Hanbin struggled in his hold, desperate to get to Yunhyeong because _Yunhyeong never hurt him,_

Hanbin froze.

And he did the one thing he hated to do.

_Submit._

The whine he let out was panicked enough that Bobby immediately let him go, but instead of _running_ like he wanted to, Hanbin dropped to his knees and bared his neck.

_Like an Omega._

 

Hanbin whined again as soon as Bobby reached out to grab him, but he was stopped by another voice entering the room.

“Don’t touch him!” Jinhwan quickly said, halting the Alpha’s movement.

Bobby froze.

Jinhwan hurried to where the two rappers were, slowly and calmly, two things Jinhwan _wasn’t,_  pulling Hanbin away from Bobby and into his own arms.

_What had he done wrong this time?_

But instead of relaxing into the Beta’s arms like Bobby expected, Hanbin started pushing Jinhwan away, quickly overpowering the smaller male and then he was out of the room.

“Dammit,” Jinhwan cursed, standing up and patting his pockets for his phone, “I probably smell like June. Fuck.”

While Jinhwan was trying to get ahold of the others, Bobby did what he did best when he was stressed.

Pace.

He only managed to lap the kitchen four times before an equally nervous Junhoe tried to put a stop to it, “Hey man, he’s gonna be okay.”

Bobby only shook his head, knocking Junhoe’s hand off his shoulder as he went back to wearing a hole in the floor.

_What if Hanbin dropped again?_

_Why did he automatically submit to him?_

_Why was it always him?_

-

“Hanbin-hyung? Can you open the door?” Chanwoo asked, not quite able to keep the panic out of his voice, _“Please.”_

The three of them had gotten back to Jihwan, Junhoe’s scent washed away, trying to coax a skittish Hanbin out of the room. For a while, the only sound letting them know he hadn’t dropped again was the shaky breathing coming from the other side.

Chanwoo looked back at all of the others, Bobby looking like he was seconds away from breaking down the door, before he turned back around.

Just as Hanbin opened the door.

Hanbin was leaning against the doorframe, draped in one of Yunhyeong’s hoodies, looking sheepish as he stared at the ground, “S-Sorry…”

Bobby wasted no time, rushing forward to pull Hanbin into his arms, and Chanwoo’s chest hurt at the look of surprise that was stuck on the leader’s face.

Hanbin’s face crumpled, his whole body crumpled and soon the only thing holding him up was Bobby.

 

“I’m more trouble than I’m worth,” Hanbin mumbled, words muffled into Bobby’s shoulder, “I’m so-”

“Stop apologizing,” Jinhwan cut him off, “And exactly how much do you think you’re worth?”

Hanbin shrugged. He didn’t think he was worth very much. He was a shitty leader, but an _okay_ producer, so at least he had that.

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby started, “You’re worth so much more than you think. You’re worth more than whatever value you place on you’re body. You’re not just your producing skills, or your dancing or writing. You’re more than just a leader. You’re _our_ leader.”

He didn’t _want_ to cry, but Hanbin couldn’t stop the few tears that fell.

_Bobby always knew._

Bobby always knew how to pull him back up, but that just made the drop even worse.

That’s what Bobby felt like, he was the adrenaline rush that Hanbin knew would always crash. He was the high before the fall.

“I’ve missed you. Even when you were right beside me,” Hanbin let out a choked laugh, “That’s so fucked up.”

“I know,” Bobby whispered back, and Hanbin wondered if the Alpha realized he was gently swaying them back and forth, “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Hanbin-ah.”

It took a few minutes for Hanbin to look up, and when he did, the others had disappeared.

Leaving him with Bobby.

“It’ll be okay.”

Hanbin hoped he was right.

-

“Ju-ne, you suck at this.”

Junhoe pouted.

“Hey! He’s not that bad,” Hanbin defended, throwing his arms around his Alpha maknae, “He’s already improving, pretty soon June’ll be better than Yun-hyung.”

Junhoe stuck his tongue out.

Jinhwan mirrored the action.

”I think we all know what you two get up to with those tongues,” Yunhyeong chortled, making Hanbin start wheezing with laughter.

Bobby scoffed.

“I thought the hyung line were supposed to be the mature ones,” Chanwoo shook his head, “I was wrong.”

“Then I get a free pass,” Hanbin grinned, feeling much better than he did just a few hours ago, “I’m in the middle.”

“If you had to be one, would you choose maknae or hyung line,” Yunhyeong held a spoon in front of Hanbin’s face, giving his best interviewer voice.

Hanbin was laughing too much to answer, so Bobby chimed in, “Wouldn’t Hanbin-ah be maknae line, then? He’s closer in age to them.”

Donghyuk squished Hanbin into Junhoe, pulling an unwilling Chanwoo with him, “Well if you _insist,_ then we’d be more than happy to let him into the _exclusive_ club. We have jackets.”

“You mean you have bucket hats,” Hanbin reached up to yank Junhoe’s black hat and Donghyuk’s white one.

It stayed relatively calm, for a while. No one brought up any of Hanbin’s earlier incidents, even though he knew that he would have to talk about what happened sooner or later.

-

“Are you sure you’ll be okay to fly back tomorrow?” Yunhyeong quietly asked, “You’re still going to be in heat during, and there’s probably going to be a lot of people.”

“It’s barely a three hour flight, I’ll be fine,” Hanbin assured. At least, he hoped he’d be fine. “My heat will be almost over, anyway, and it’s been pretty mild so far.”

“You call this _mild?”_ Junhoe gawked, “This? This is mild?”

Hanbin ignored the interruption, “Besides. I just want to go home.”

He missed his bed. And his studio. And his mom.

“And you’ll be okay to go straight to the appointment after that?”

Hanbin rolled his eyes, “Yes, Yunhyeong. I’ll be fine. And I don’t see why I even have to-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” Jinhwan cut him off, not bothering to look up from his book.

“YG wants to meet with us Tuesday morning,” Yunhyeong continued, reading off the notes in his phone, “I think he’s going to talk to us about another short hiatus.”

“Do you want to be the leader?” Hanbin grumbled before his eyes widened at the Alpha’s words, “Wait- Hiatus?” He didn’t want another hiatus. That usually meant he fucked up somewhere and wasn’t good enough. He did kind of fuck up, didn’t he? That’s why they were still here. That’s why their performances were going to be canceled for all of the next week, _at least._

Yunhyeong was quick to soothe, “Just until you’re better-”

“I’m _fine,”_ Hanbin countered.

“Hanbin, you’re not,” Jinhwan shot back.

Looking around the room, everyone but the two eldest were trying not to butt in, purposefully looking anywhere but at Hanbin.

“We’ll be with you the whole time.”

Hanbin finally nodded.

Maybe he wasn’t okay.

But as long as the others stayed with him, he would be okay.

He would be okay.

 

* * *

 

“So I’ve been fucked on the bed, on the couch, and on the counter-”

“Who fucked you on the counter?!”

Donghyuk whistled.

“-But no one has fucked me in the shower.”

Bobby choked.

 

“JunHOE- BE CAREFUL WITH HIM!”

“Shut up, Jinan.”

Jinhwan squawked.

Bobby wasn’t able to ignore the weird tightening in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to apologize lmao
> 
> Also idk if any y’all caught on, but the smoke and fire scent that made Bin freak tf out in chapter 4 (? Too lazy to check hA) was because of Bobby
> 
> Also x2 it’s not 4 am W O W 
> 
> I’m sorry this sucked lol
> 
> Chapter eleven is better, I swear.  
> (No it isn’t. This whole thing sucks)


	11. I said I was being honest, but I didn't know what honesty was back then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Jerk - iKON  
> which i have decided is the double b song of this fic
> 
> Soooo this one is a bit shorter, only about 6k, and sorry it took so long  
> I'm working on a few other fics ;p
> 
> And i went back through and fixed some shit, meaning i had to reread all 70k of this trash.  
> why do y'all READ THIS SHit
> 
> oh yeah. I wanted to keep the manager nameless for reasons i cannot yet disclose but it was getting annoying so he has a name yeet

“Are you sure he’s okay?”

Jinhwan snorted at the manager, “Trust me, this is the least bitchy he’s been in weeks.”

The _he_ that they were talking about was, in fact, Hanbin.

He had managed to convince Yunhyeong to let him take one of his muscle relaxers so he’d actually be able to walk without crying, so now they were left with a clingy and whiny Hanbin.

Well, clingier. And whinier.

Thankfully, the airport was pretty empty considering the circumstance, iKON having not made any public statements since the one YG put out about Hanbin being an Omega, but they knew that once they got back to Seoul, that would change.

 

Even without the normal count of fans and cameras, there were still a lot of people, and Hanbin was still in heat.

He was hot, in pain, and surrounded by screaming people.

_Was this what Hell felt like?_

“Bet this is Hell for you,” Bobby laughed, and Hanbin’s blue eyes snapped up to meet the Alpha’s.

_Had he said that out loud?_

There were times when Bobby was so in Hanbin’s head that he wondered if the older rapper had a telepathic connection with just him.

Hanbin sure fucking hoped not, he had jerked off one too many times to the mental image of Bobby’s back muscles to be ‘just friends’.

 _Fuck._ Hanbin brought a hand up to slap against his forehead, making Bobby look at him in shock for a few seconds before he started laughing.

“C’mon, man,” Bobby wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling the Omega along and failing to be subtle as he rubbed his wrist over Hanbin’s neck.

He was _scenting him._

As soon as Hanbin realized what was happening, his knees went weak and Bobby hurried to catch him around his waist.

Quickly recovering from his stumble, Hanbin gave an awkward laugh as he pushed Bobby’s hands off of him, “Sorry. I’m okay, just…tripped. A little.”

If anything, Bobby’s grin just sharpened, and Hanbin almost wanted to drop to his knees again.

In _both_ ways.

Since Hanbin locked himself in the room yesterday, the only time Bobby had been outside a 5 foot radius of him was when the Alpha had left with all of the others.

Bobby touching Hanbin wasn’t a good thing, just because it made Hanbin want to push him into the nearest seat and curl up on his lap.

He didn’t want to ruin any of the progress they made.

He had forgotten how _nice_ Bobby’s hugs were.

Yunhyeong’s were gentle, _comforting,_ but Bobby’s were tight and filled with so many unspoken promises, they made Hanbin’s legs almost give out each time.

Hanbin didn’t know how to handle it, especially not when _walking_ was taking too much thought, at the moment.

Not realizing they had stopped, Hanbin faceplanted in Junhoe’s back, the Alpha turning around to raise an eyebrow at him, “You good?”

Hanbin just gave him a thumbs-up.

-

“Maybe that round in the shower wasn’t the best idea.”

“Junhoe, shut the fuck up.”

Junhoe laughed at Hanbin, even as he awkwardly patted the back of his head, the leader having his face hidden behind his sleeve-covered hands.

“But, seriously,” Junhoe’s voice softened, “Are you okay?”

Chanwoo, from Hanbin’s other side, gave Junhoe a sarcastic thumbs-up, the gesture seeming to be Hanbin’s go-to answer now when asked that question.

Hanbin, instead of being snarky like he had been all morning, whispered out a soft _“No.”_

 _No._ He wasn’t okay.

He was stuck on a fucking plane and he hated flying, already, not to mention all of the scents were practically assaulting him. The seats were just hurting his back and hips _more,_ and the muscle relaxer was already starting to wear off.

Digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, Hanbin tried to calm down before he freaked out. He thought that the sensitivity was bad when he was in heat on the suppressants, but without them everything was _so_ much worse.

It felt like the hair on the back of his neck was standing up, he felt _paranoid._

“Hyung?” Chanwoo placed an unsure hand on the leader’s thigh, wishing that Yunhyeong or Jinhwan, or even _Bobby,_ were there. They would have known what to do. They always did.

“Yeah, Chanu. I’m- I’m okay,” Hanbin dropped his hands slightly, just enough to shoot a small smile at the maknae, “Sorry. It’s just- It’s a lot.”

_Fake it ‘til you make it._

“June, you’ve been working on some lyrics, right? Tell me about ‘em.”

 _Distract me._  

-

If Hanbin thought boarding the plane was bad, getting off of it was even worse.

The second half of the flight consisted of him squeezing Chanwoo’s hand until he managed to fall asleep, head pounding from sensory overload and turned into Junhoe’s shoulder.

But that was nothing compared to how he felt right now.

Too many people, too many scents, too many lights, too many words being thrown out that he couldn’t even catch a single one.

Before he knew it, Bobby’s arm was around his waist again and the screaming just got _louder._

He was dizzy. He felt like he was choking. Like he couldn’t _breathe._

Hanbin whimpered.

“Shit- Wait, hold on-” Bobby stopped them, forcing security to stop around them as he switched Hanbin’s mask out with his own, tucking it behind the Omega’s ears, “Better?”

It was pathetic how fast that calmed him down.

“C’mon, we’ll be at the van soon,” Bobby continued to lead him through the mass of people, and Hanbin continued to follow.

 

By the time they made it to the van, the entire walk had been forgotten to him.

Their manager was talking, maybe to him, maybe not, Hanbin couldn’t really tell.

“-just really overwhelmed,” That was Bobby’s voice, Hanbin would always be able to pick out Bobby’s voice, “Do you want to take him?”

Yunhyeong was the one to answer back, but Hanbin could only pick up a few blurry syllables that didn’t quite fit together to make words.

Could sounds be described as blurry? Fuzzy?

Suddenly the ground seemed to be moving up, Hanbin’s ears were ringing but before he knew it Bobby’s arms were back around his waist, stopping him from falling.

_Again._

“Should I- lift him in?”

“I think you’ll have-”

Hanbin couldn’t stop the whine that slipped out as he was picked up and set in the van. He was about to whine again before he felt Bobby claim the seat next to him, pulling Hanbin as close to him as possible.

Without all of the… _everything_ from the airport, the _sick_ feeling was starting to go away. It was still bad, but everything was dulled down under a layer of _smoke._

The face mask thing was a good idea, and Hanbin was slightly surprised that Bobby even thought of that.

Actually, the Alpha probably didn’t think, just did.

For the first time in days, Hanbin could breathe in the scent that he knew so well and not feel the tendrils of _fear_ grip his lungs.

“Y’okay?”

Hanbin blinked, trying to clear the remaining fog from his head. Just as he was starting to figure out how words worked, he looked up at Bobby and immediately shut his mouth.

It was too much.

But Hanbin couldn’t complain.

Not when his favorite pair of slanted eyes were staring down at him, so open and unguarded, grounding him. Not when he was so overwhelmed with love by the others, even by _Bobby,_ and he would give his entire world just to make them happy. Not when he felt so safe in Bobby’s arms, instead of the suffocation he should feel with how tight they were gripping him.

It wasn’t suffocating, but it was overwhelming. It was too much.

Because that was what Bobby was to him, for him. Bobby was overwhelming.

It was overwhelming, but Hanbin wouldn’t trade any of it, not even the too many eyes always on him, the too many secrets that needed to be hidden. Too many chances to get lost in the world.

But even if Hanbin did get lost, and he _has,_ so many fucking times, Bobby was always the one to pull him back. Bobby was always the one that stuck by him, through the breakdowns and the anger, the tears and the screaming, the _‘I want to give up’_ s. It was always Bobby.

And Hanbin would never find that with anyone else. He didn’t need to. He didn’t want to.

What he had with the others would always be different than what he had with Bobby.

That was okay. Different was okay.

But with Bobby, it was always the same. Even when they weren’t as close, physically, even when Hanbin was too scared to push boundaries he wasn’t even sure why were there, Bobby was always the one that talked him down. He was never afraid of him, never _challenged_ him.

And that was why it hurt so fucking much.

Because Hanbin would never find that with anyone else, and he almost lost it, already.

But he didn’t. Bobby was still with him. Bobby was still _there,_ and he was holding onto Hanbin like nothing else mattered.

Like how Hanbin felt about him.

He knew it wasn’t the same for Bobby, knew it may never be the same, but Hanbin didn’t want to lose what they did have.

He couldn’t, not like before.

He couldn’t handle it.

Hanbin loved Bobby.

That thought wasn’t new, Hanbin loved all of them, and his love was different for each person.

But Bobby…

Bobby made him feel things he didn’t want to feel, had pushed away for so long because they were _wrong._

Yet, even after all those years of trying to be something he wasn’t, and trying not to love someone that didn’t accept that, he still was.

He was still in love.

That was okay.

It was okay.

He was okay.

“Hanbin-ah?”

Hanbin blinked again, realizing he had just been staring at Bobby this whole time.

“Don’t cry,” Bobby reached up to wipe away the few tears Hanbin hadn’t noticed fell as he reached up the clutch at the Alpha’s wrists, holding his breath as he waited, and waited, and _waited._

_But, for what?_

Bobby paused at the action, _panic_ filling his eyes before he blinked it away, “Bin? Hanbin?”

“What’s wrong?” Jinhwan asked, leaning around Bobby to try and get a better view of the situation.

“Hanbin-ah…,” Bobby tried again, _“Breathe.”_

He listened. _He always listened._

“M’okay,” Hanbin whispered, dropping his eyes.

He couldn’t look at him anymore.

Bobby didn’t say anything, just pulled Hanbin’s face against his neck as he rocked them back and forth, as much as the seat constraints would allow.

Hanbin couldn’t stop the murmured, _“I wish you knew what you do to me,”_ but judging by Bobby’s reaction, he didn’t hear it, anyway.

-

“It’s good to see you back on your feet. You had Yang and I worried for a bit.”

After the absolute embarrassment that was the trip back, Hanbin was finally okay.

_Ish._

His head still hurt and he was still really dizzy, but he didn’t feel like passing out every time he inhaled, so that was good.

And ‘back on his feet’ consisted of him being held up mostly because Donghyuk was backhugging him.

Their manager continued, “You have a scent scrub, right?”

Hanbin nodded.

“Well go shower and change into something clean, we need you as scentless as possible.”

“Why?” Jinhwan asked, struggling to get out from Junhoe’s hold, “What difference will it make?”

“Doctor’s orders,” Woohyuk turned back to Hanbin, “Now go shower, kid. We don’t have all day.”

Rather than letting go, Donghyuk tightened his grip, “Can I shower with him?”

Hanbin blushed, that wasn’t really something you asked your manager, but Donghyuk said it with such an innocent voice that even Hanbin was fooled for a second.

“You have the weakest scent, right? Should be fine, if you’re that set on it. Just try not to scent him too much, after.”

-

“What do you mean we can’t go?” Yunhyeong questioned, “Hanbin’s still technically in heat, and he hasn’t exactly been the best, health-wise.”

“Look, YG doesn’t want to make this a big thing. The fiasco at the airport was bad enough. The company wants to keep this as discreet as possible,” Woohyuk ran his hand down his face, “Besides, we don’t need another Jiyong scandal.”

“I’m sorry, but I really don’t think he should go alone,” Jinhwan protested, “He almost passed out in the airport because he was overwhelmed. Imagine how much worse that would be without us there?”

Hanbin looked so _lost_ earlier, and Bobby was the only one that was able to get through to him at that point. Why would they put him through that again, but _alone?_

“He’ll be fine.”

 

“What’d I miss?” Donghyuk walked in, wearing what looked like Hanbin’s clothes as he dried his hair with a towel.

Bobby grumbled, “We’re not allowed to go.” He didn’t want to leave Hanbin alone, not after what had happened the past few days. Every time Hanbin so much as left his sight, he got this weird _paranoia_ that ran through him like ice, freezing his body until the younger rapper was spotted.

Donghyuk raised an eyebrow, “Not even Yunhyeong-hyung?”

“No, not even me, pup,” Yunhyeong sighed.

“Oh,” Donghyuk looked to the manager, “That’s dumb. You realize I had to make sure he didn’t fall for like 80% of that shower, right?”

 

Just as Jinhwan was scolding Donghyuk for his disrespect, Hanbin peered around the corner, as if he was surveying the situation.

Yunhyeong was the first to spot him, “Come here, Binnie.”

It was obvious that Hanbin was listening in to the last part of the conversation, looking to the manager to see him shake his head before turning back to Yunhyeong with a pout.

Yeah, Yunhyeong had a bad feeling about this.

“I’m going,” Yunhyeong said, “I’m his mate-”

“And I’m your manager,” the beta argued back, “Hanbin, the appointment’s at 3:30. We need to leave now.”

As he walked away, Hanbin scurried after him, barely giving any of them a fleeting look before the door shut.

“Well, fuck what he says,” Bobby started, “I’m just gonna call a taxi and go there myself.”

 

* * *

 

_It’s not a hospital. It’s not a hospital. It’s not a hospital._

Hospital or not, Hanbin was still panicking slightly.

“Stop shaking your leg.”

Okay, he was panicking a lot.

He felt _sick_ and _scared_ and like he couldn’t _breathe._

“The statement was pretty well received, save for a few articles, but that’s to be expected. There’s talk of a scripted interview, where we can filter the questions that come in so we can push the pack bond to the public so- Hanbin? Are you even listening to me?”

Looking over at Woohyuk, the older man was peering over his glasses at Hanbin, looking every bit as exasperated as he sounded.

“I swear-”

“Kim Hanbin?”

“That’s us, kid. Get up.”

Hanbin flinched away from the hand offered to him, but he didn’t know _why._ He didn’t know why he was so on edge, why his muscles were all locked up, throat closing uncomfortably and keeping him from speaking.

The nurse that was leading them was an Alpha, but Hanbin wasn’t too panicked around her, even though he stood on the opposite side of the manager. She was a short, pretty girl, but the large bite scar that was visible on her neck somehow calmed him slightly.

Hanbin reached up, pressing a hand against the bite mark Yunhyeong had put on the right side of his neck, running his fingers over the raised lines.

They stopped in front of a door, “This is it,” the nurse gave him a bright smile, and Hanbin felt his shoulders drop slightly as she opened the door, ushering them inside.

Unlike the sterile white of a hospital room, the room was painted a soft yellow, the rest decorated in browns and other warm tones. It was calming.

“Ah, you must be Hanbin?”

Hanbin turned around to see another short lady, this one slightly older and slightly plumper. She looked and sounded foreign, but Hanbin wasn’t able to place the accent.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Novak,” she held her hand out for Hanbin to shake, but didn’t seem offended in the slightest when he just stared, “A bit shy? That’s alright. Why don’t you take a seat?”

He ignored his manager’s warning glare, instead moving to sit on one of the brown leather chairs in front of them, wincing at the pull in his lower back.

Dr. Novak took the seat directly across from him, at her desk, while Hanbin tried to subtly scent the air, wanting to figure out the woman’s dynamic.

She laughed at him, “I see that nose twitching,” she said, making Hanbin blush at being called out, “And I’m actually an Unpresented.”

“S-Sorry…I didn’t mean to be rude,” Hanbin stuttered, talking for the first time since they left the dorms.

He had never met someone that stayed unpresented, health complications usually stopped them from even getting past their 30s.

“It’s quite all right, but enough about me. Tell me a little about yourself.”

Hanbin glanced behind him, taking in the posture of the Beta that was standing at the door before turning back to the doctor.

“Would you feel more comfortable if it were just us?” She asked.

Hanbin nodded.

Dr. Novak gestured to the door, and when Hanbin turned around again to look, Woohyuk was no longer standing there.

“Now,” she smiled, “I’m just going to ask a few questions, and then we’ll move on to some simple tests. Just the basics for now, height, weight, heart rate, blood pressure. No need to look so scared.”

Hanbin gave her a shaky grin, one hand still under the neck of his hoodie, pressing down on the already fading claim bite Bobby had left a few days before. He skin felt like it was crawling, and he wanted nothing more than to have any of the others with him.

“Blue eyes, still in heat. You’re on suppressants, yes? How long have you been taking them?”

“About six years.”

The doctor paused, “Six consecutive years? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

Hanbin shrugged, he had a vague idea, having been lectured enough by his three hyungs over things they had looked up.

There was a reason he avoided that stuff, he didn’t want to know just how big of a risk he was taking.

“I don’t want to sound morbid, but you should very well be dead right now. You’re lucky to be alive.”

“W-What?” Hanbin knew they were bad, but he didn’t know they were _that_ bad.

“Even just one year on the wrong dose could cause irreversible damage,” Dr. Novak said, “When did your health start declining?”

Maybe it was the shock of what she had said, maybe it was the weirdly trusting aura she put off, maybe Hanbin was desperate for answers, but everything seemed to slip out at the question.

“It’s- It’s never been the best. I, uh, have always had problems sleeping, but that could be from other reasons. These past few months have been really bad. I get tired doing nothing. I’ve been getting these…really sharp pains in my chest and stomach, and they _still_ haven’t gone away even though I’ve been off the suppressants for a few days.” Wow, complaining felt nice. “I feel sick whenever I eat, I’ve dropped three? Four times in the past week? My back is fucking killing me and I’m constantly on edge when I don’t have the rest of my pack with me. Not to mention that my heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.”

”It sounds like you’re lucky you caught it when you did. Any longer and the outcome could have been much worse. I’m going to have to run some extra tests, but first you need to calm down, sweetie.”

-

“Hanbin-ah!”

Hanbin’s head snapped up at the voice, seeing Bobby standing just outside the doors, grinning like a fucking idiot.

Not thinking about anything other than seeking comfort, Hanbin immediately flung himself into Bobby’s arms, forcing the Alpha to support his weight as he willed the shaking to stop.

“This is exactly what we were trying to avoid.”

Woohyuk grabbed Bobby by the collar, dragging the still grinning Alpha and, in turn, Hanbin to the van.

“Miss me that much, Hanbin-ah?” Bobby asked after they were seated in the car, the Alpha having pulled Hanbin into the backseat with him.

Hanbin didn’t answer, just tried to focus on the feel of Bobby’s arm still around his waist, fingers seeming to find their recently permanent place just at the dip of his waist.

“I hope that no one got pictures of your little reunion. If Dispatch gets wind of this they’re going to start spreading articles about you being pregnant. Or dying. Or both.”

Hanbin tensed up at the words, and he felt Bobby’s grip on him tighten ever so slightly as he brought one leg up on the car seat, hugging his knee to his chest.

“You feeling okay?” Bobby whispered, thinking back to the ‘fiasco’ at the airport, when Hanbin just suddenly stopped walking, stopped responding, stopped _breathing._

 _God,_ Hanbin was getting really sick of that question.

But, the genuine concern in Bobby’s voice still surprised him, even though he _knew_ that Bobby never stopped caring about him, and led to him shaking his head, anyway.

Bobby’s expression fell slightly, not that Hanbin could see it, but he sure as hell could hear it in the Alpha’s voice, “We’ll be back soon, and we’ll have a quiet night in, yeah?” He paused, seeming to debate what to say next, “I…There’s a…surprise? No…that sounds like too much…A gift? Yeah, a gift. There’s a gift waiting back at the dorms.”

“A…gift?” Hanbin asked, slowly.

“Y-Yeah. It’s- It’s not anything big, but, uh, I saw it and it made me think of you?” Bobby’s voice rose slightly at the end, embarrassment evident in his scent.

Bobby…bought him…a gift?

Judging by the red face and wavering voice, Hanbin was fucking praying it wasn’t a sex toy.

The embarrassment was actually kind of cute, even though Bobby’s hand had been around his dick before, so Hanbin couldn’t think of something that would make the Alpha more embarrassed than that.

Even thinking about a less-than-stellar memory, Hanbin couldn’t help the small smile at the thought of Bobby _actually_ courting him.

He had thought that the Alpha was just saying that to calm him down, but maybe, just _maybe,_ Bobby was actually willing to try?

Unless this wasn’t a courting gift.

 _Fuck._ What if it wasn’t meant to be one? And Hanbin just _assumed_ it was.

He didn’t even know what the gift was yet, and he was already…

_What if it was like…a fucking vacuum cleaner or something?_

Hanbin groaned.

-

The first thing Hanbin did when getting back to the dorms, other than trip in the staircase and make Bobby catch him to avoid cracking his head open, was march through the door and push Junhoe down onto the couch.

“Wha-”

“Sit,” Hanbin ordered, trying to hide the shaking in his voice with as much bravado as possible.

Junhoe immediately shut up.

Hanbin practically threw himself at Junhoe, making the Alpha tense in surprise before he really understood what was happening, tightening his arms around Hanbin’s back and letting the Omega scent mark him.

“I’m taking a fucking nap,” Hanbin mumbled, somehow having managed to yank Junhoe’s jacket open to wrap his own arms around the younger.

“No wonder we all thought he was an Alpha,” Jinhwan joked, but there was a layer of _something_ underneath that none of them could really put a name to.

Bobby snapped out of the weird silence he had been in after seeing Hanbin immediately go to Junhoe, practically straddling the Alpha as he shoved him back against the couch.

He was vaguely turned on by it?

_What._

Well, Bobby was into pushy girls, so it only made sense that Hanbin acting like that would make him feel like that, especially because he was feeling horny as _fuck,_ today.

_It’s been a while since he’s gotten laid._

 

By the time Woohyuk had made it into the dorms, having gone to the pharmacy to pick up Hanbin’s prescription, the Omega had, once again, forced Junhoe to lie down on the couch.

Except now he was behind him, head hidden under the back of Junhoe’s jacket, practically growling every time the second youngest tried to move.

They gave up on trying to get him to talk after about five minutes, Hanbin ignoring all of them in favor of sleeping.

They didn’t blame him.

“I bet you’re all dying to hear the news, right?” Woohyuk rolled his eyes, pulling out a list from his pocket.

_A fucking l i s t._

“Let’s see…Height is average, weight is a little low, but that’s to be expected. Heart rate was rather high, but I guess he was pretty anxious during the tests. High blood pressure, could be from stress, though. His hormones seem to be rather out of line, again, that was expected, but it’s recommended he see just how imbalanced they are, so he has an appointment with a secondary hormone therapist to gauge that. She was able to give us a quick diagnostic consultation, just to outline what we should be looking for in the future. He’ll most likely be more prone to sudden hormone drops until his hormones balance out, so keep him out of situations that can cause that. He had also exhibited signs of PSA.”

Bobby opened his mouth to ask a question, but it seemed as though the Beta wasn’t done, shooting Bobby a look.

“PSA is Pack Separation Anxiety. It’s most common in Omegas, usually occurs with a tragedy or emotionally stressful situations or accidents. Since the forming of your pack was a less than perfect scenario, and I don’t know many details, I can’t quite tell you why. After the full test results come back in, probably when he goes for the hormone evaluation, they’re going to test for any reactions with the medication, as well as run a few more tests on his reproductive system and get him on a new birth control.” Woohyuk sighed, somehow looking like the whole thing had aged him ten years, “Any questions?”

Bobby blinked, “Can you write that down?”

“Already got it,” Jinhwan said, having been typing everything out on his phone as their manager read it off.

Donghyuk looked rather unimpressed, to say the least, “So…you’re telling me that we _shouldn’t_ leave him alone? _Just like we said.”_

“Of course that would be the only thing you paid attention to,” Woohyuk rolled his eyes, _professionally,_ “Yes, that’s what I’m saying, but when he goes back, YG only wants one or two of you to go. Oh, also no going straight into laborious physical activity, gradually work up to everything. Yoga was recommended to help keep his muscles from locking up, but I can’t exactly see him doing that. Studio is fine, but Bobby or someone should probably accompany him. Last thing we need is a freakout in the YG building.”

Yunhyeong nodded, looking every bit the attentive mate that he was, “What about his heats?”

“That’s something to ask Yang tomorrow, but I imagine it’s going to be the same as Seungyoon, considering he can’t take suppressants, either,” Woohyuk pushed his glasses up, “He was given a prescription for a basic stabilizer, plus an anti-nausea medication. The doctor doesn’t believe the vomiting is because something is wrong with his stomach, but rather it’s more of a mental than a physical thing, but we won’t know until the test results come back.”

The Beta handed the bag to Yunhyeong, the alpha immediately reading the paper attached to it.

“Some good news. Now that you’re officially a pack, I get to leave and you’re free to turn that room into a nest. I’ll still be in this building, so don’t miss me too much.”

-

“Juuun- _hooooe.”_

Junhoe sighed, “What?”

“Turn around,” Hanbin whined, “I wanna be held.”

“Go bother Bobby-hyung, I’m comfortable,” Junhoe pressed his face back against the cushion, making Hanbin continue to whine against his back.

“Uh, Hanbin-ah, remember what I said in the car?” Bobby awkwardly asked.

Junhoe lifted his head slightly, just enough to snicker at the older Alpha’s red face.

_Fucking hopeless._

Hanbin didn’t answer, so Junhoe assumed he didn’t remember whatever Bobby was alluding to, until-

“The vacuum cleaner?”

_What._

Bobby seemed to have the same thought, “W-What?”

“What?…Oh, wait…ignore that,” Hanbin finally said, moving to sit _on_ Junhoe, making the Alpha groan at the weight on his ribs, “The gift?” He asked, unsure.

If anything, Bobby’s blush darkened, “Y-Yeah, want me to go get it?”

Hanbin sounded wary, even as he breathed out a little ‘Yeah.’

So Bobby got up and walked out, presumably to the downstairs dorm.

Junhoe felt Hanbin tense slightly as the door shut, so he turned over, making Hanbin yelp as he fell back into the couch, “He’s trying, huh?”

Bobby had asked them all if he could have a moment alone with Hanbin, as if he hadn’t been all over the other rapper the whole day.

 _But, whatever._ They needed to sort their shit out.

He let Hanbin climb back into his lap, wrapping his arms around the leader in a tight hug.

Hanbin didn’t say anything, just let out a slow breath against his neck.

 

Bobby was hit with a really annoying sense of déjà vu when he walked in, holding the item behind his back.

He didn’t know why seeing Hanbin and Junhoe curled up together like that was making his stomach turn, considering he thought he had gotten used to the sight over the past few days.

_Guess not._

 

Bobby awkwardly cleared his throat, and Hanbin lifted his head up to see the Alpha standing at the door.

“Let me up,” Junhoe tapped Hanbin’s thigh, “I’m gonna go unpack, and I should probably do laundry, pretty sure I’m out of clean boxers.”

Hanbin scrunched his nose up, “Ew,” but ultimately let the Alpha up to do exactly what all of the others had gone to do.

This seemed like a ploy.

“Hanbin-ah?” Bobby gestured to the bedrooms, and Hanbin raised his eyebrow, but still got up, slowly making his way to his own room.

Looking back just as he made it to his door, Bobby gave him a smile and a nod, so Hanbin went in.

The first thing he did was throw himself onto his bed, burying his face into the comforter that smelled like the room had been closed off for days.

_Well, duh._

Hanbin turned his head to see Bobby still standing by his open door, so he scooted up to sit against his headboard, patting the spot next to him.

Not shutting the door, which Hanbin was kind of thankful for, Bobby moved to sit at the edge of his bed, still not letting him see whatever the Alpha had behind his back.

Hanbin raised his eyebrow.

“It’s- It’s nothing big, but I thought you’d like it, but I guess it’s okay if you don’t. I can always return it, or-”

“Kimbap,” Hanbin cut off Bobby’s rambling, not able to stop the small smile at the Alpha’s awkwardness, “Just show me.”

Bobby _audibly_ swallowed, and Hanbin almost started laughing before Bobby pulled the item from behind him and Hanbin felt all of the air rush out of his lungs.

“Well…?”

Hanbin looked back up at Bobby, mouth still open slightly as Bobby gave him a hesitant smile.

“I- I washed it right when we got back, so it already smells like my laundry detergent. I figured it could stay in my room, and then you could use it for your heats?” Bobby’s voice started getting really high mid-way through, and again, Hanbin normally would have laughed.

But he couldn’t speak.

So instead he reached out, running his fingers over the grey fleece.

Bobby got him a blanket, for his nest.

A smokey-grey blanket with the cartoon honey jar from fucking Winnie the Pooh.

That Bobby wanted to keep in his room, so it smelled like him for Hanbin’s next heat.

“Do you…like it? O-Or was I, like, totally off? Because I-”

Hanbin threw himself at Bobby for the second time that day, forcing the Alpha to catch him around the waist to avoid them both falling off the bed.

“Is that a yes?”

Hanbin nodded against Bobby’s shoulder.

He still couldn’t believe it. Why did something as simple as a _blanket_ feel like such a big deal to him?

_So…was it a courting gift?_

“Is it okay if I count this as a courting gift?” Bobby asked, and Hanbin’s head snapped up to look at him, almost smacking into the Alpha’s jaw, “Is that…a no? Sorry, I just thought…”

“Shut up, already,” Hanbin finally said, voice way too _choked up_ for his liking, “It’s a courting gift. I don’t know how you’re gonna top it, though.”

Bobby laughed, and it was ugly and loud and Hanbin never wanted it to stop, “I think I’ll manage.” He paused for a moment, just staring at Hanbin until he shook his head a bit, “Wanna break it in?”

At first, Hanbin wasn’t quite sure what he meant, but then Bobby moved to sit at the top of his bed, tilting his head in question and unfolding the blanket.

_Oh._

 

Slowly, almost warily, Hanbin crawled towards Bobby, sitting a few inches away as he looked at the Alpha.

Hanbin wanted him to set the pace.

That was fine, Bobby was okay with that. It meant he could take it slow, gradually adjust.

Laying back against the pillows, Bobby gently pulled Hanbin toward him, letting the younger fit himself against him.

Hanbin pulled on the side of his shirt, so Bobby turned onto his side as Hanbin tucked his head under his chin.

Bobby was starting to really like this position.

Hanbin was an enigma.

He was a juxtaposition, one big _contrast._

Bobby didn’t know how he did it.

He couldn’t imagine growing up in a home that wasn’t as loving and supporting as his own, he couldn’t imagine what he would be like if he didn’t know the kindness of his own parents- a kindness that he constantly tried to put out.

So for Hanbin, strong and fearless Hanbin, to be who he was, to possess a heart and a _passion_ like his, so pure and depthless, an ocean of love that he was willing to drown in just to keep them afloat-

It was incredible.

Hanbin was incredible, and so fucking resilient, and Bobby admired him so much for that.

He pressed his face against Hanbin’s hair, trying to ignore the way his stomach twisted at the _leather_ mixed with _cinnamon._

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

But Hanbin was already fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey wazzup hello
> 
> fuckin kill me HA  
> it's 4:20 am so like blaze it
> 
> one time i got really high and thought i locked myself out of the house and called my friend crying at 2 am and then ended up climbing through the window but after i got inside i realized i was trying to pull the door instead of push it
> 
> if u want more soft double b, go check out my kitty bin fics, i just posted 6.5k of them fucking :D
> 
> ok bye


	12. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorries don't matter and promises never last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Apology - iKON
> 
> Waaaaaa I'm so sorry for the really long wait ohmgosh  
> My phone kicked it and I've been really busy at work, I feel like I'm going crazy.
> 
> This has actually been done for like the past week, but I hate like everything that I write so I almost deleted it but here we are
> 
> I'll fix my mistakes later
> 
> no i wont

“I believe that is all,” Yang Hyunsuk’s voice was _too_ much for Hanbin right now, “You may go.”

Hanbin did _not_ need to be told twice.

The meeting basically confirmed everything they had already thought. They would be on hiatus until Hanbin was back in the clear, but there would still be a few interviews and appearances, just like manager-hyung had said.

But, Yang had also given them formal permission to turn the soon-to-be empty bedroom into a nest, letting them do whatever they wanted as long as they stuck to the budget, or used their own money.

Yunhyeong had gotten really excited about that, already showing Hanbin a plethora of beds and canopies and _soft_ things that he had been bookmarking for the past few days.

Except Hanbin didn’t want to think about a nest, because he didn’t want to think about going into heat again, not when it left him feeling sore and shitty.

He was tired, mentally and physically, but didn’t have any nightmares last night, so at least he got a slight break from that.

But there was an itch, crawling under his skin and he needed it _gone._

It had been far too long since he’s had any sort of creative outlet for his feelings, and crying them out was just not his style, no matter how many tears he’s let out recently.

“I want to go to the studio,” Hanbin said, ignoring the others as he walked off.

Bobby’s voice was barely heard over the distance, but Hanbin still recognized the soft timber, “Don’t worry, I got it.”

He figured one of the others would follow him, equally hoping to not be alone while also being so _desperate_ for privacy.

He also figured it would be Bobby.

Bobby, the same person that let Hanbin fall asleep on him, waiting until Hanbin woke up before leaving, just so he wouldn’t wake up alone.

“Sooooo,” Bobby drawled, finally catching up to him and slinging an arm around the younger’s shoulders, “How are you feeling? Like, with the hiatus, and stuff.”

Hanbin shrugged, “I dunno. Mixed? I guess it’s not as bad considering we’re not in the middle of a comeback, and as long as I can still work on the next group album, it’s fine.”

“And _our_ album?”

Oh, yeah. That was another part of the meeting.

YG had given Hanbin a tentative outline for a new duo, one that Hanbin had been praying both would and wouldn’t happen.

“Can you believe it?” Bobby continued, “After all this time…we finally get our own sub-unit.”

“Nothing is for sure yet,” Hanbin’s words were short, but they were softened by the fond smile on his face.

He was happy that the idea had been pushed back until now, meaning there wouldn’t be any negative memories associated with it, unlike if it had been done a few months, even weeks, ago.

_Hopefully no bad feelings._

Bobby’s arm stayed around his shoulders, even when Hanbin was putting the key in the lock, only dropping after they both fell into the two seats kept there.

While Hanbin was waiting for everything to boot up, he reached into his back to pull out a Monster and a baggy of M&Ms, having snuck them past Yunhyeong to avoid being scolded.

“Ah, ah, ah. Nope,” Bobby said, swiping both the energy drink and chocolates from in front of the computer as soon as Hanbin’s hands were preoccupied with the keyboard.

“Hyung, give those back.”

“No.”

“Pleeease,” Hanbin whined, “I need the pick-me-up.”

Bobby just shook his head, reaching into his own bag to hide the items, “You really don’t. Ignoring the caffeine, you don’t need that much sugar. Here,” the Alpha pulled out a different baggy, this one containing some kind of nut, and a bottle of water.

Hanbin looked at the bag of peanuts in front of him, and then to Bobby, back to the nuts, before finally coming to a stop, staring at the Alpha, “You’re kidding me.”

“Nup,” Bobby said, popping the ‘p’, “Enjoy.”

Rolling his, once-again, brown eyes, Hanbin opened the bag and pulled out a peanut, staring at Bobby as he promptly shoved it in his mouth.

And groaned.

“What the hell, man?” He whined, “They’re not even salted. That’s so wrooong.”

Bobby’s smile only got wider, “Too much salt is also not good, but peanuts are high in protein, and pro-”

“Protein helps to balance hormones, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that, but why do you?” Hanbin asked, raising an eyebrow even as he continued to snack on the nuts, “Did you like, look it up, or something?”

Hanbin had expected Bobby to respond to his teasing with a shove, but instead, the Alpha looked away and blushed, and _shit,_ Hanbin didn’t prepare for that yank on his heartstrings.

The idea of Bobby looking up shit to try and make him feel better? That… _fuck._

Hanbin was weak.

He didn’t know what to say, so Hanbin turned his face back to his monitor while Bobby continued to mindlessly fiddle with the notebook in front of him.

“I-”

A knock on his door cut Hanbin off, Bobby looking to him in question as Hanbin called out an, “It’s open!”

“How did I know you’d be in here?”

The person opened the door, the familiar voice, as well as scent, giving away who it had been.

“Jaewonnie!” Hanbin jumped up, tackling the Beta in a hug, “I missed youuu.”

He really had. Jaewon was like an older brother to him, or a cousin. Almost like Minho was, but Jaewon was his and his alone to confide in. It was nice having a separate view, someone that wasn’t twisted into iKON’s drama.

“I missed you, too,” Jaewon pulled back, patting Hanbin on the head, “I’m glad you’re back, and I’m proud of you.”

“Aww, hyung. You’re such a sap,” Hanbin snickered.

“No, I’m serious! And congrats on finally getting the pack you deserve,” Jaewon pinched Hanbin’s cheek, making the Omega swipe at him, “That means no more lamenting about how sad you are at 2 in the morning, okay?”

“Fine, fine,” Hanbin relented, cheeks coloring at the embarrassment of being called out, “But go away. Bobby and I are working, we can catch up another time.”

Jaewon finally looked past Hanbin, “Oh! Hey, Bobby.”

 

Bobby grunted in response, he didn’t like how he was just an afterthought, or how touchy Hanbin was being with Jaewon.

“Okay, you guys are probably busy,” Jaewon laughed, “Text me when you’re free? We can pick up lunch, or something.”

And with that, Jaewon was gone.

Finally.

“I missed him,” Hanbin said, all smiles as he bounded back over to their seats.

Bringing Jaewon’s scent with him.

Bobby almost growled. Jaewon, for a Beta, had a really fucking _offensive_ smell. Bobby thought Betas were supposed to smell _fresh_ and _calming,_ not like _peppercorn._

Fucking peppercorn, of _all_ things?

Stupid.

“What do you think of this?” Hanbin asked, unaware of the storm brewing in Bobby’s head, “I was working on it before, but now that it’s been a few days, I don’t think I like it…Maybe if I drop the key?”

Bobby wasn’t actually paying attention when Hanbin played the melody back, but he figured a neutral, “It’s good,” would get him off the hook.

But this was Hanbin, and good never really meant _good,_ and he always knew when Bobby wasn’t being sincere with him.

“If you don’t like it, just tell me,” Hanbin bristled, “Why are you acting so weird, all of a sudden?”

Bobby didn’t answer, how could he?

Hanbin continued, voice rising slightly, “Not gonna give me a straight answer?”

“I just don’t want to upset you-”

“What happened to not treating me differently?” Hanbin glared, pushing his chair away from the desk.

He had definitely taken that the wrong way.

Bobby groaned, “Hanbin, wait.”

But Hanbin was already out the door.

 

Again, Hanbin didn’t make it very far before Bobby caught up to him, the Alpha catching him around the wrist as he tried to stop him.

“Hanbin! Wait for a second!”

“Just leave me alone,” Hanbin pulled his arm out of Bobby’s grip, speeding up his steps as he changed direction and turned a corner, trying to throw Bobby off.

Except it seemed as though Bobby had already anticipated his move and before Hanbin knew it, the red-eyed Alpha had him pressed against the wall.

He wanted to panic, that way he’d have a physical reason for Bobby to back off, but then the older rapper tilted his head down, resting it on Hanbin’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

Bobby’s voice was a quiet rumble, breaths hot against his skin and Hanbin _melted._

“Please don’t think I’m treating you differently on purpose. I’m not trying to, but my head’s a mess right now, Bin. I just need to find a middle ground.”

After saying that, Bobby nipped at the claiming bite he left the other night, the mark almost fully faded.

“Can I?”

Hanbin nodded.

He was weak.

It didn’t matter that they were still standing in the middle of the hallway, as soon as Bobby’s teeth sank into his skin, Hanbin was lost.

_Wait._

“It was Jaewon,” Hanbin stated, feeling almost giddy over Bobby’s answering growl, “You were jealous of Jaewon.”

Bobby was being more possessive than usual, and Hanbin felt over the moon. Ever since he had gotten the blanket, it felt more _real._ Bobby was actually courting him, Bobby _wanted_ him.

Hanbin couldn’t help but let out a surprised giggle as Bobby started scent marking him, thoroughly covering him in _smoke_ and _pine_ and _honey._

His scent seemed different, though? Almost eye-watering.

“Did he know?” Bobby asked, _growled,_ “Jaewon. Did he know?”

“N-No. No,” Hanbin repeated, voice thin as he struggled to catch his breath with Bobby’s scent clouding his brain, “Ah- Maybe? I didn’t- I never told him.” Hanbin never told him, but the Beta definitely knew.

“Good,” Bobby was back to nipping at his neck, and if he didn’t stop, Hanbin was going to do something very _not_ appropriate for the workplace.

Hanbin gasped, “Hyung, we- The- Not here.”

Surprisingly, that was enough to get through to Bobby, the Alpha’s actions pausing as he processed the situation.

“Shit- S-Sorry,” Bobby stuttered as he was gently pushed back, brain seeming to catch up to his body, “I- I shouldn’t have- I’ve just been really on edge today.”

And then the low vibrato of Bobby’s voice finally clicked.

His rut was starting.

“I think,” Bobby started, “I think Chaeyoung went into heat earlier, and all of the Alphas have been acting weird.”

_No._

Hanbin stared back at Bobby, words processing so _slowly_ before they finally sunk in.

Bobby was in rut.

Hanbin wasn’t in heat.

Rosé was.

_No. No. No._

If you listened closely, you would probably have been able to hear Hanbin’s heart break.

Bobby was marking him because his rut was triggered by another Omega.

“Hanbin?”

“Don’t fucking _touch me,”_ Hanbin growled, putting everything he had into keeping Bobby away from him.

Bobby was visibly shocked, “W-What? Bin-”

“Don’t call me that!”

Hanbin pushed Bobby back again, this time being anything but gentle as he managed to catch the Alpha off guard.

The few feet between them and the few seconds of surprise were all Hanbin needed to disappear.

 

“FUCK!” Bobby punched the wall, not even caring about the throbbing in his knuckles.

He shouldn’t have pushed Hanbin. Why did he _fucking do that?_

Bobby knew he should go after Hanbin, but he fell back against the wall and tangled his fingers in his hair.

Why had he done that?

_Why did Hanbin snap at him?_

Why was he so _hurt_ by it?

The pure _disgust_ pouring off of Hanbin when Bobby was touching him _burned._

_What even happened?_

 

* * *

 

Bobby and Rosé.

Jiwon and Chaeyoung.

_They’d look good together._

Hanbin couldn’t breathe.

He was at the company building just seconds ago, but now he was running up the steps to the dorms.

Yesterday he could barely walk up them.

_Adrenaline rush._

His vision was starting to fade out.

Was it from running? Or was the black dancing in the corners of his sight just trying to match the black hole that seemed to have swallowed him.

Maybe it was the black hole.

“Hanbin?”

He ignored the voice, pushing past Yunhyeong in a desperate rush to get to his room before he lost it.

“Hanbin!”

The door slammed.

Hanbin locked it.

His chest felt like it was caving in, but Hanbin knew that he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. He knew Bobby wasn’t his Alpha, but why did it _hurt so fucking much?_ Why did the idea of Bobby with someone else feel like a heart attack?

Because Hanbin loved Bobby.

Hanbin was _in love_ with Bobby.

But Bobby wasn’t _his_ to love.

He wanted nothing more than to pull his comforter over his head and hope to suffocate, but Hanbin knew that they smelled like _smoke_ and _Bobby._

Instead, he crashed into the corner, sliding down the wall as he tried to make himself disappear.

_Was he being too dramatic?_

Of course he was, of course of course of _course._

He was just a _bitch._ He was a bitch that didn’t know how to fight back, didn’t know how to keep himself from diving head first off of the first cliff he saw, didn’t know how to stop himself from pulling everyone down with him.

Useless, _worthless._

_Never enough._

“Hanbin!”

The panicked knocking only made Hanbin whine, the Alpha’s voice yanking him forward as he fell to his knees.

 

Yunhyeong, who had only heard the sound of Hanbin hitting the floor, turned more frantic, “Hanbin! Pup, I- I need you to open the door, baby. I need you to open the door for me.”

The only response was another whine, a low, _wounded_ keening sound that made Yunhyeong’s stomach turn.

He knew they had a set of spare keys somewhere.

The last he knew they were in the manager’s room, but most of the stuff in there had been cleared out, already.

_Fuck._

“Bin-ah,” he tried again, _“Omega.”_

Yunhyeong didn’t _like_ using his Alpha voice on _any_ of them, but Hanbin needed it.

_“Let me in.”_

A sob. Another whine.

 _“Please._ **_Let me in._** _”_

The door opened.

Hanbin immediately fell against him, clinging on to him and dragging them both to the ground.

The rapper wasn’t crying, but his chest was heaving and he was shaking so violently that Yunhyeong almost wished he was in tears, rather than the harsh trembling.

He wanted nothing more than to ask Hanbin what was wrong, figure out _why_ he was like this, but he was almost positive that it had something to do with Bobby.

It _always_ had something to do with Bobby.

Yunhyeong also knew that Bobby’s scent was clinging too heavily to Hanbin for it to have been any casual touching.

It smelled like…

_Rut._

Instantly Yunhyeong was hit with a tentative understanding of the situation. Bobby’s rut was triggered, because Yunhyeong knew that the Alpha wasn’t due for another two months, but by whom?

It had to have been a late response to Hanbin’s heat, it _had to._

But why would that make Hanbin so upset?

“It’s okay,” Yunhyeong soothed, “You’re okay. What’s wrong?”

Maybe prying wasn’t the best thing to do, but Yunhyeong has learned that getting Hanbin to open up when he was this upset was the only time to do it, or he would shove the problem away for days until it blew up again.

“S-She’s in he-he-heat. It- It’s her. Not- me, it’s n-not me,” Hanbin was finally unable to hold back the tears, large shuddering sobs as he kept repeating _notmenotmenotmenotme_ against Yunhyeong’s neck.

_She?_

Yunhyeong could only place the _she_ as the girls from BlackPink, and he was sure that Rosé was the only Omega of the four of them, but Hanbin could have been talking about literally _anyone._

Hanbin started clawing at Yunhyeong’s shirt, trying to remove it. His hands were shaking too bad to undo any of the buttons.

“Wha- Bin? What are you-”

“I smell- like h-him,” Hanbin stopped to look at him, gold eyes wide and _pleading,_ “M-Make it _go away.”_

He was talking about Bobby’s rut scent.

Of course, the smell was probably driving him crazy.

Yunhyeong needed to do something about Bobby, though. He needed to make sure that Bobby got back without doing something stupid or hurting himself, if he hadn’t already left.

 _Fuck._ Yunhyeong hoped that Bobby was still at the company building.

“Let me text Jinhwan-hyung, okay? And then I’ll take care of you.”

Yunhyeong figured that, out of the four others, Jinhwan would be the least likely to kill Bobby. The Beta would probably, hopefully, let him explain before any arguing happened, unlike the three maknaes.

He barely got the text sent before Hanbin completely crumpled, tumbling into Yunhyeong’s chest as he continued to shake.

Yunhyeong knew how much Hanbin felt about Bobby, they all knew, but this almost seemed like something more than rejection, this seemed like heartbreak.

Hanbin gave another little whine, breath hitching on a sob and the sound filled Yunhyeong with so much sadness that he almost started crying, too.

It almost seemed like he was in shock, body shaking so violently and breaths coming so fast he was near hyperventilating, leaving Yunhyeong with no idea of what to do.

“Don’t cry, pup,” Yunhyeong cooed, wrapping his arms around the younger, “I know, I know. Just breathe, Binnie. You’ll be okay, everything will be okay.”

He hoped.

 

* * *

 

“I want to fuck Hanbin.”

_“Congrats, I want to fuck Yoon. Which is what I was about to do. Why do you always call when I’m about to fuck?”_

Minho sounded breathless, and then was an underlying rumble in his voice that was putting Bobby on edge.

“I don’t know,” Bobby snapped back, “Why do you always answer?”

_“Because you’re dumb and you do dumb shit and someone has to be the voice of reason.”_

Again, Minho’s words made him tense up, even though the older Alpha had said far worse, before.

“What’s got your fucking panties in a bunch?”

 _“Look,”_ Minho groaned, _“I’m sorry. Between Yoon’s heat and my rut, we’re all stressed and really fucking behind. Sorry I snapped, but what dumb shit did you do now?”_

 _Oh._ The rumble in Minho’s voice.

That made sense.

That made a lot of sense.

“I-” Bobby took a deep breath, leaning back against the wall for support, “I think my rut’s starting but Hanbin’s heat has already ended and nothing happened during so wouldn’t that mean I’m _not_ his Alpha?”

Bobby couldn’t tell if the weird weight in his chest was relief or disappointment, and that scared him.

 _“Bobby, you literally_ just _said you wanted to fuck him-”_

“I want to fuck anything when I’m in rut!” Bobby tried to counter, even though he had no idea _why,_ “Hanbin just happened to be here.”

_“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you? Because it doesn’t even sound like you believe it.”_

Bobby wanted to argue back, to growl and prove that he was _right,_ but he didn’t even remember why they were arguing in the first place.

There was a muffled conversation happening on the other side of the phone, but Bobby wasn’t even close to being in the right state of mind to understand what was happening.

_“Bobby-ah.”_

That was Seungyoon’s voice, overly smooth and Bobby instantly knew that the Omega was trying to placate him.

The _wrong_ Omega.

 _“There’s always the possibility that your rut was triggered late. It could be from a combination of things, the situation, you trying to push it away, or even just because Hanbin’s hormones are messed up. There’s no way you’re_ not _his Alpha, Bobby. You look at Hanbin like the sun shines out of his ass. Wai- Mino!”_

 _“Speaking of ass,_ goodbye.”

The call cut, leaving Bobby just staring at the wall in front of him.

Why was he still sat in the hallway?

There was a dull pain in his knuckles, but instead of getting away from there, he slid down the wall and sat there.

And sat there.

And sat there.

Bobby knew that he wanted Hanbin, at least right now, but how much of that was just due to Hanbin being an Omega?

_That wasn’t right._

When Bobby had run into Jisoo and Rosé earlier, he was instantly aware of the _rose_ scent (how fitting) around him, but he hadn’t had the desire to jump her like he thought he would.

Rosé was insanely beautiful, she had a lovely voice and an even sweeter personality, but she lacked the _fire_ Bobby wanted.

Jisoo, the only Alpha in the girls’ group, had politely smiled at him, but he could see the underlying threat in her eyes.

 _Yeah,_ Bobby wasn’t gonna mess with that.

Not only that, but she wasn’t Hanbin.

Oh.

She didn’t have that fire, but Hanbin did. Hanbin _was_ the fire.

Bobby always went after pushy Alpha girls with soft eyes that were filled with _passion_ because they made him think of Hanbin.

But Hanbin wasn’t an Alpha, Hanbin was an Omega, potentially _his_ Omega, and Bobby had somehow messed up again.

Somehow he had pushed it too far, maybe he made Hanbin feel objectified? He knew that the younger hated to be viewed as an Omega.

Bobby was scenting him because all of the Alphas in the company building were on edge, him included, and he didn’t want anyone to try anything with him.

Not to Hanbin, never to Hanbin. Hanbin was his. Hanbin was theirs.

Did he want Hanbin?

Just thinking back to the look on his face when Bobby had given him that blanket, or the way he so stubbornly clung to him when Bobby had shown up outside the clinic. It made his chest fill with _pride._

Bobby had done that. Bobby was the one who put those smiles there.

But he was also the one that had taken that smile away.

“Hey.”

Bobby lifted his head up to see Jinhwan striding towards him, face a mix of worry and annoyance that was so _him._

He thought that Jinhwan was everything Hanbin wasn’t.

Jinhwan was small and soft and _Omega-y,_ but Bobby didn’t have the same desire that he did with Hanbin.

Being around Jinhwan gave him the thrumming of _packpackpack,_ but there was no _mineminemine_ that was always in the back of his head when he looked at the leader.

“Bobby? Come on, kid,” Jinhwan was stood in front of him, peering down at Bobby with that same _something_ taking over the annoyance and worry flashing across his face.

Bobby has never _not_ been able to read Jinhwan. The eldest’s emotions were practically always on broadcast, so he didn’t understand why _now_ Jinhwan was closing up.

Jinhwan sighed, “Bobby. We need to get you back to the dorms, come _on.”_

A hand was held out for him to take, and Bobby accepted the help even though he didn’t put any of his weight behind it, knowing that he would just pull Jinhwan to the floor with him.

Just as Jinhwan turned around to leave, Bobby pulled Jinhwan back against him and scented him in much the same way he did Hanbin.

Jinhwan may not have been an Omega, but Bobby still didn’t want anyone trying to take advantage of his tiny hyung.

“Are you done?” Jinhwan griped, swatting at Bobby’s face until the Alpha pulled away, “You weren’t answering your phone, Yunhyeong was getting worried.”

“Sorry,” Bobby murmured, “I was in a call.”

Jinhwan didn’t pry, and for that Bobby was thankful.

“How…How’s Hanbin?”

Jinhwan tensed up slightly at Bobby’s question, and that only made him panic.

He had let Hanbin run off, _by himself._ Hanbin, who could barely go 5 hours alone without feeling sick, because of Bobby. Hanbin, who was a fucking mess, _because of Bobby._

What if Hanbin didn’t go back? Bobby hadn’t even thought of that. What if he ran off? What if he started panicking? What if he got hurt? What if _someone else hurt him?_

“Bobby! Calm down. Hanbin’s not…Hanbin’s at home,” Jinhwan assured, trying to pull the Alpha along when he suddenly stopped.

“‘Hanbin’s not’…What?”

Jinhwan didn’t look at him, just crossed his arms as they continued walking, “He’s…upset.”

_How upset?_

Did Bobby make him drop, again?

“Jin-Jinhwan, I need to talk to him,” Bobby tried grabbing at the Beta’s wrist, but he kept walking.

“He’s _fine._ I get that now you’re obsessed but you need to be rational,” Jinhwan said, continuing to pull Bobby along.

_What the fuck did that even mean?_

-

“Wait, what do you mean I can’t see him?”

Jinhwan had lead Bobby back to the downstairs dorm and straight into his room.

“Bobby, I just don’t think it’s a good idea, right now,” Jinhwan replied, “Yunhyeong and Junhoe got Hanbin calmed down, finally, and it would probably be better if you waited for your rut to end.”

Speaking of his rut, Bobby had been waiting for Jinhwan to leave so he could either talk to Hanbin or jerk off, but now the Beta was telling him that he couldn’t see Hanbin for the next _three days?_

“Hyung, you don’t understand,” Bobby pleaded, even though he knew he could just shoulder past the eldest, “I can’t leave him thinking that-”

“He doesn’t want to see you,” Jinhwan snapped, catching Bobby off-guard, “Just leave it at that.”

And with those as his parting words, Jinhwan left.

Bobby had zero desire to jerk off.

Truthfully, he just kind of wanted to cry.

 

* * *

* * *

 

**_Pack Daddy 🐺_ **

_I dont know what to do_

That was worrying.

Donghyuk checked the chat, noticing that it was the one that they had without Hanbin and Bobby, accurately dubbed _‘Double B ain’t DED’_ by Chanwoo.

Yunhyeong had refused to leave Hanbin’s side for the first few hours, but after going to the bathroom when he thought Hanbin was sleeping, the Omega had locked him out and refused to let him back in.

Now it was the second day after and not even Chanwoo could coerce him out.

**_Pack Daddy 🐺_ **

_He’s still not letting me in. He wont eat or take his meds and I think he had a nightmare last night and I dont know what to do_

_The only reason I know he hasnt dropped is because I can hear him crying_

**_Ding Dong 🔔_ **

_what do we do?_

Donghyuk bit his lip, Chanwoo had slept in his room the past two nights because he couldn’t listen to Hanbin falling apart without breaking down, himself.

Not only was Chanwoo a mess, but Yunhyeong, too.

They could all feel the pull through the bond, but since Yunhyeong was the only one that was directly bonded with Hanbin, he was feeling it the hardest.

**_Pack Daddy 🐺_ **

_I’ve tried talking to him but he wont listen_

_He managed to ignore a command. Im worried_

_I think I need to talk to Bobby_

**_Ding Dong 🔔_ **

_I’ll do it_

_please_

He waited for Yunhyeong’s go-ahead, quickly skimming over what both Junhoe and Chanwoo had to say about the matter before turning his phone off.

Donghyuk knew that he would have an easier time talking to Bobby, especially since Jinhwan seemed to be pulling a disappearing act.

The eldest had been acting weird ever since Sunday night, but Donghyuk didn’t want to bring it up to Yunhyeong and stress the pack alpha out even more.

Sighing, Donghyuk pulled himself up from his chair before heading to the kitchen.

The lack of sound was strange.

Usually, when Bobby (or Junhoe) was in rut, there would always be music playing to drown out _those_ noises, but Donghyuk hasn’t heard a single word from Bobby since the Alpha had gotten back Tuesday.

So here he was, being a good Beta and preparing a sandwich for his emotionally constipated pack-mate because he was a good fucking friend.

And he was worried.

Sandwich in hand, Donghyuk made his way to stand in front of Bobby’s door. He could practically smell the pheromones, but he knew it was just in his head considering all of the doors were scent-locked.

“Bobby-hyung?”

No answer.

This time Donghyuk knocked, “Bobby-hyung, I know you’re in there. Please let me in.”

A groan.

“Go away.”

 _Wow,_ he sounded like shit.

“I’m not gonna go away until you let me talk to you.”

Another groan, the bed creaked.

Bobby opened the door, and instantly Donghyuk was hit with a face full of _rut_ and the bitter scent of _despair._

He didn’t like that scent on Bobby.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” Bobby snarked, “That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now.”

“Shut up,” Donghyuk pushed past the Alpha, but not before getting a good look at him.

Bobby looked like he hadn’t slept, or showered, or eaten, or done anything that consisted of basic self-care.

His irises were already red from his rut, but the white surrounding it was almost as bad with the irritation. 

“I made you a sandwich,” Donghyuk spun around and shoved the plate at the elder, “You’re going to eat it and we’re going to talk.”

Bobby glared at the sandwich, “M’not hungry.”

“I don’t give a damn,” Donghyuk countered, looking at the Alpha’s bed with distaste, “I know that you’ve been hiding away because you don’t think you deserve to know what’s going on because you feel at fault.”

He spun around, finding Bobby leaning against his door while he continued to stare down at the floor.

“So you’re going to eat, I’m going to tell you about Hanbin, and then we’re going to fix this,” he continued, “Because I can’t stand to see either of you like this. I love you both too much.”

“How is he?”

“No, eat first, and then I’ll tell you about Hanbin,” Donghyuk knew that Bobby would probably just mentally shut down after, “God, no wonder you two are a fated pair.”

Bobby looked like he wanted to answer, but instead took a giant bite out of the sandwich, glaring at Donghyuk the whole time.

“Good boy,” the Beta deadpanned, “Jinhwan-hyung is PMSing. Both Junhoe and Chanwoo are basically puppies that have been abandoned by their owner. Yunhyeong-hyung is one problem away from his first grey hair, and I’m trying to not hit someone.”

“So basically everything is my fault?” Bobby was full on pouting, cheeks puffed out with food and shoulders slumped.

Donghyuk rolled his eyes, “I don’t know, is it? None of us know anything because you and Hanbin won’t talk to us.” He could see it in Bobby’s eyes, the way the Alpha wanted so desperately to know the condition on the leader. “Hanbin is doing exactly what you’re doing. Not eating, hiding, basically trying to waste away.”

Bobby let out an honest to god _whine_ at the thought of Hanbin not feeling well.

“I- I don’t know what I _did,”_ Bobby said, “One minute he was smiling at me and the next he was telling me not to touch him.”

“So there’s no girl?” Donghyuk asked, thinking of what Yunhyeong had told him.

The surprise was visibly on Bobby’s face, “Girl? What?” And then understanding, “Oh god, oh my god. Does he think-? Fuck.”

And the pacing finally started.

“Uh, care to share?”

Bobby didn’t stop his pacing, if anything, his strides just got less controlled, “Rosé went into heat at the company building and I…I think Hanbin figured out I was in rut before even _I_ knew. He probably thinks she triggered it.”

“Do you think it was?” Donghyuk asked.

“Maybe? Probably not. I hope not. I need to talk to Hanbin.”

Yeah, he did, but the problem was none of them wanted to put the two of them in the same room.

“Yeah,” Donghyuk started, “That’s the issue. You’re in rut, Bobby. Hanbin’s our pack’s Omega, your body’s gonna want to-”

“I want him, I know I do. I think I have for a while,” Bobby cut him off.

“Listen,” Donghyuk almost growled, “Imagine what Hanbin is thinking. If you really do want him, and it’s not just your rut talking, wait. Don’t make him think that you only want him because he’s just an Omega and you’re horny.”

Bobby _did_ actually growl, at that, “He’s _not_ just an Omega.”

Donghyuk, sick of everyone's shit, cuffed Bobby on the head, “I _know_ that you dipshit, but he doesn’t.”

Bobby softened, “I- I need to talk to him, Dong.”

“I know-”

“And I need to do it _now_ but I don’t know if I’ll lose it when I see him-”

“Hyung,” Donghyuk stopped him, “Please, shut up. I might have a really stupid idea.”

-

The idea wasn’t necessarily stupid, just really simple.

But that didn’t mean it would work.

Bobby was practically vibrating with nervous energy, having just stepped out of the shower to wash the heavier scents of his rut away, but he was already standing in front of the door to the upstairs dorm.

He was nervous.

Almost knocking (I know, really?) but deciding that was _too_ much, Bobby walked in, immediately being intercepted by Yunhyeong.

“Bobby-ah,” Yunhyeong trailed off, not quite knowing what to say, “Stay safe.”

And with that, Yunhyeong slipped out the door.

Part of Bobby couldn’t believe that they trusted him not to do anything, when he didn’t even fully trust himself.

Walking through the dorm alone was weird, even though it was usually quieter than his own, it was never _this_ quiet.

“Hanbin?” Bobby softly called, coming to stand in front of the leader’s door, “It’s- uh. It’s me?”

_No shit, that was dumb._

Silence greeted him.

Bobby didn’t understand how Donghyuk put up with him earlier.

“Hanbin, I need to talk to you,” Bobby tried again, voice growing a little bit more desperate, “Please, you don’t even have to open the door, well, you _shouldn’t_ open the door, considering I’m in rut-” Bobby’s rambling was paused when he heard something.

As soon as he said _rut,_ Hanbin let out a small sob.

At least, it sounded like a sob, and that thought actually _hurt_ Bobby.

Hurting Hanbin made his chest feel hollow and his bones heavy.

He only ever wanted to make Hanbin happy.

And then it hit him, hard and painfully and not at all how he thought it would be.

He had to close his eyes, falling forward to lean his head against the door, almost forgetting how to breathe because he loved Hanbin, and the irony of that was ridiculous. Hanbin, _fucking Hanbin,_ his best friend. The _one_ person he shouldn’t fall for, the one person he’s ever _truly_ hurt, the one person he was still hurting.

And it wasn’t even the fact that Bobby loved him, it was the fact that he didn’t know when he fell _in love._ He almost didn’t want to believe it because, well, _how do you miss something like that?_

But he did, Bobby loved Hanbin like he’s never loved anyone, and suddenly all of those stupid lyrics about a fake person and a fake longing and a fake heartbreak made sense.

“It’s you, Hanbin. It’s _always been you.”_

He said it so quietly that he didn’t even think it was heard through the door, voice cracking mid-way through, but a few tense breaths later was an answer.

“B-But, do you _want_ it- to be me?”

The answer was just as quiet as his original words, maybe even more so, spoken just as closely, and then he understood how his were even heard.

For a second, Bobby could picture Hanbin in much the same position as him, only held up by the door as they waited with baited breaths.

 _“Yeah,”_ Bobby exhaled, “I do.”

The door opened.

Bobby immediately backtracked, “Wait! Bin, I- I don’t think you should-”

“I thought- I thought you said this is what you _wanted,”_ Hanbin was standing in front of him, almost hysterical and looking just as _broken_ as Bobby felt, “Let me- Let me help, I can help.”

Bobby couldn’t even think about Hanbin helping him, not when the thought of hurting him now made him feel a physical ache, but Hanbin was shaking in front of him and it was his fault and Bobby felt like he was going to throw up.

“Hanbin, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

It was if Hanbin was a puppet, and Bobby’s words cut all of his strings, “No- _Please,_ I need to- I-” And he slid to the ground and Bobby couldn’t help but join him.

He instantly knew what Hanbin was afraid of.

“Hanbinnie, I’m not going to stop liking you if we don’t do anything now,” Bobby said softly, “You’ll still be my Omega-”

Hanbin visibly recoiled, “But I’m _not._ Y-You’re in rut, but- but I’m not in heat, anymore. You’re not- it’s not-”

Bobby, never one to think about anything other than what was happening at that very moment, did something incredibly stupid.

He crawled over to Hanbin.

Tilted his face up.

And kissed him.

Even though his only desire was to push Hanbin down and mark him, Bobby tried his best to keep it slow and soft.

After a few seconds of nothing, it was almost as if a switch was flipped, Hanbin tangling his fingers into Bobby’s still damp hair and pulling him forward.

Kissing Hanbin was so different than any girl he had ever kissed. Hanbin was somehow both rougher and softer, stronger and weaker, an enigma.

Hanbin ended up on his back, sobbing into the kiss just as Bobby pulled away.

Bobby dropped his forehead against Hanbin’s shoulder, taking several breaths the try and calm himself but only succeeding in making himself lightheaded off of _cinnamon._

“You’re an ugly crier,” Bobby mumbled.

Hanbin let out a choked laugh, and Bobby could feel the sound run through his body.

He could feel all of the shudders and jitters that quaked Hanbin’s frame, the younger feeling so much more delicate below him as Bobby continued to pant over him.

A shock ran through him, Hanbin having moved his thigh to be between Bobby’s own, just centimeters away from his dick.

“Hanbin, I- I have to go,” Bobby said, even though he didn’t want to. He knew that he had to.

Hanbin immediately started panicking again, “You can’t. You- _Don’t go.”_ He started grasping at Bobby’s arms before moving up to his face, trying to pull him back down.

Bobby resisted, “I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

The younger’s shaking only picked up, another quiet sob slipping past his lips as his eyes closed, face scrunching up in pain.

“No, no, Bin,” Bobby tried to soothe, “Not like that, I didn’t mean it like that. I…I want it to be special.”

Hanbin only slightly untensed, looking to Bobby with a wary confusion.

“I want it to mean something,” Bobby clarified, still caging Hanbin’s body below him as he stared down into the leader’s honey-gold eyes, “I mean- I don’t want to rush anything just because I’m in rut. I want to take you out and give you my jacket when it’s cold. I want to surprise you with that honey tea that you like from the little hole in the wall cafe down the street. I want to drag you away from the studio just to spend time together. I want to make you happy.”

“You al-already do that stuff,” Hanbin said, and Bobby couldn’t tell if it was a laugh or a sob that followed.

“I do?”

Hanbin didn’t answer, only got more desperate with his yanking but Bobby didn’t give in.

He did, actually, but not in the way the younger was trying.

Bobby pulled Hanbin up, the Omega completely pliant in his hold as he pulled him into a hug, trying to ignore just how warm both of their skin felt.

Bobby’s made sense, but Hanbin shouldn’t feel that hot.

“Binnie, I think you have a fever,” Bobby said, almost whining again at the thought of Hanbin making himself sick because of _him._

Hanbin did actually whine, nuzzling closer, “Please don’t l-leave, don’t leave. Please,” his voice was almost pleading, barely above a whisper but sounding so loud next to Bobby’s ear, “You can’t- You can’t leave me.”

Bobby was torn. Hanbin’s breaths were hot against his neck but far too shaky to even let Bobby think anything dirty. He wanted Hanbin, but he wanted Hanbin to be _okay,_ more.

And right now he wasn’t okay.

Should he get Yunhyeong? He couldn’t stay, the restlessness flowing through his body made it feel like he was seconds from snapping, and he knew Hanbin would let him do anything right now.

Bobby didn’t want to leave him, not when he just got him back, not when everything was so fragile. Not when Hanbin was so fragile.

He didn’t know how long Hanbin was alone before this, but it must have been Hell.

A _self-inflicted_ Hell.

Bobby let out a small whine at the thought.

Hanbin reached up to paw at his face, hands shaking, eyes blurry, and Bobby wanted nothing more than to give into every primal _want_ he had, but he couldn’t.

“I have to go, Bin. I have to,” Bobby tried to keep his voice level, head straight, “I’ll come back-”

“What- What did I do w-wrong?” Hanbin asked, words frantic and sobs still cutting his breaths, “Why don’t you want m-me?”

“No, no, no. That’s not it, Bin,” Bobby assured, “Not your fault, never your fault.”

Bobby punctuated his words with soft kisses against Hanbin’s neck, fingers scratching at the younger’s scalp as soothingly as he could manage in his state.

Each press of the Alpha’s lips brought out a whine from Hanbin, trailing up higher until Bobby’s breaths were brushing the shell of his ear.

 _“Ahhh,”_ Hanbin gasped, completely pliant in his arms. Bobby went to pull away again but Hanbin’s fingers were back in his hair, tightening as the younger let out a low whine, _“No.”_

“I’ll be back,” Bobby tried again, “I love you-”

“Liar,” Hanbin sobbed, “Y-You don’t, you _don’t.”_

“It’s not a lie,” Bobby pressed his lips against Hanbin’s forehead, words whispered against heated skin, “I do, I-” And then Bobby was crying too, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Hanbin.”

“Then don’t l-leave,” Hanbin cried against Bobby’s jaw, “Stay.”

He could. Bobby could stay.

It would be so easy.

He shouldn’t.

_“Please.”_

“Okay,” Bobby breathed, “I’ll stay.”

* * *

* * *

Sometime after locking Yunhyeong out, Hanbin started to think.

It was only a matter of time before he ran out of tears, and he knew none of the others would be able to bother him. It was by design, Hanbin was sick of everyone constantly being in his head and just wanted his fucking space. As soon as it was found out that their manager would be leaving their dorm, Hanbin quickly located all of the spare keys and hid them in his room. With everything going on now, he needed time to grieve by himself.

This wasn’t a pack issue, it was his to deal with.

Thinking was always dangerous when he was in one of these moods, Hanbin knew that letting it spiral could result in him dropping again, but he really didn’t care.

So what if he did? He was already fucked up as it is, what would one more added to the list matter?

He hadn’t talked to any of the others since Tuesday, it was currently nearing Friday.

Hanbin didn’t want to sleep alone again, but the idea of seeing anyone just felt like too much work.

Last night had been one of the worst nightmares he’s had in a while, sending him into a fit of hysterics in the middle of the night, waking Yunhyeong up before the Alpha tried to get him to come out.

Yunhyeong had used a command on him, the first one the pack alpha had _ever_ used on him when he had gotten back, last night being the second. Hanbin knew that Yunhyeong was really against using them, and the fact that he was to the point of that last resort showed how worried he was, but Hanbin still couldn’t face him.

Yeah, he was sad, but he’d get over it.

It may take a while, but Hanbin could get over Bobby.

He just wished he knew how long.

Even just thinking about the Alpha made him feel like he was burning, like he couldn’t think straight.

Everything hurt _so bad._

Hanbin had stripped his bed of its comforter, piling every spare blanket and pillow (except for _that_ one) into a corner in his room in some sort of comfort pseudo-nest.

The problem was that it lacked any sort of comfort. The only scents on it were Yunhyeong’s and Bobby’s, and he missed both of them more than anything, even though Yunhyeong was just a few feet away.

Bobby wasn’t.

Hanbin didn’t know- didn’t _want_ to know where the Alpha was. If he found out Bobby had spent his rut with Rosé, his heart would probably just stop beating.

 _God,_ he was being such a baby, but he couldn’t help it.

Hanbin knew he was being overdramatic but it felt like his ribs were all crushed and stabbing at his lungs every time he thought of Bobby with Rosé.

Bobby with anyone that wasn’t him.

He ached. His head ached and his heart ached and his whole entire body ached.

Hanbin knew that marks left from Alphas would always linger for longer, but it’s been almost a week and the bruise on his temple was still as dark as ever, but the fingerprints dotting his arms and thighs and waist were already fading.

Each day the marks from Junhoe got lighter, but Bobby’s seemed to be staying, like they were serving as a reminder.

Hanbin shivered.

Even curled up in his little blanket nest of misery, chills were still wracking his body.

How long had it been? He was so tired.

_“Hanbin?”_

Hanbin froze, had he imagined that?

Was he going so fucking crazy that his brain was willing to make him believe-?

“It’s- uh. It’s me?”

No, no- That was real. That had to be real.

“Hanbin, I need to talk to you. Please, you don’t even have to open the door, well, you _shouldn’t_ open the door, considering I’m in rut-”

Suddenly the voice stopped, cutting off in the middle of a sentence and it took Hanbin a few moments to realize why.

He couldn’t breathe.

He scrambled up from the floor, almost falling over after a wave of dizziness hit but somehow managed to get there, standing in front of the one thing separating him from Bobby.

Hanbin couldn’t do it.

He was just about to turn around and crawl back into his nest when-

“It’s you, Hanbin. It’s _always been you.”_

He barely heard it, but the words were ringing in his ears so loudly that he thought they would make him deaf.

He fell back against the wood, doorknob digging painfully into his side but it didn’t matter.

Somehow he found his voice, somehow Hanbin was able to choke the words out, “B-But, do you _want_ it- to be me?”

Silence greeted him, and Hanbin was seconds away from falling apart.

He couldn’t breathe.

 _“Yeah,”_ a heavy exhale, “I do.”

Before the Alpha had even finished the first word, Hanbin was already fumbling with the lock, trying to get the door open but his hands were shaking too hard to turn it.

Seconds bled into what felt like hours, but Bobby was standing in front of him and nothing else mattered.

Bobby’s eyes were wide with shock, “Wait! Bin, I- I don’t think you should-”

“I thought-” Hanbin cut Bobby off, “I thought you said this is what you _wanted.”_ His voice was edging on frantic, he didn’t know what to think anymore, “Let me- Let me help, I can help.”

His voice was shaking almost as bad as his hands were, his whole body practically trembling with the need to make Bobby _stay._

Bobby looked torn, “Hanbin, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Hanbin felt his knees go weak, “No- _Please,_ I need to-” Tears were running down his face, “I-”

He buckled, unable to stay up as he crashed to the floor, Bobby dropping to his knees just seconds after him.

“Hanbinnie,” Bobby whispered, “I’m not going to stop liking you if we don’t do anything now.”

_Wrongwrongwrong._

“You’ll still be my Omega.”

Hanbin flinched, head knocking against the door frame as another breathless sob slipped past his lips, “But I’m _not.”_ His stomach was rolling. “Y-You’re in rut, but- but I’m not in heat, anymore. You’re not-” He couldn’t stop crying. “I’m not-”

Bobby was kissing him.

Hanbin froze.

Seconds passed, thoughts danced around his head dizzyingly fast.

He threaded his fingers into Bobby’s hair as his lips parted slightly, moving in sync with the Alpha.

Bobby was kissing him.

Kissing Bobby felt like his entire body was burning, but the burn didn’t hurt. It was almost calming, like curling up with one of his heating pads.

Hanbin tipped backward, pulling Bobby down with him as he tried to press himself as close to the Alpha as possible.

_Was this real?_

Hanbin sobbed in relief, Bobby pulling back just seconds after and pressing his forehead against Hanbin’s neck.

Bobby took several deep breaths, “You’re an ugly crier.”

The mumbled words made him laugh, however wet and breathless it was.

Bobby was with him. Bobby was here. Bobby _wanted_ him.

Hanbin was never going to let him leave. Not again. Never again.

Bobby froze against him, “Hanbin, I- I have to go.”

_No. Nononono._

“You can’t. You- _Don’t go,”_ Hanbin pleaded, heart racing as he dug his fingers into Bobby’s arms, grip too weak to do anything other than trail soft lines down the exposed flesh.

Bobby resisted, so Hanbin moved his hands to the Alpha’s face, desperately trying to keep him there.

“I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

Hanbin flinched back, the movement so violent that he smacked his head against the floor, squeezing his eyes shut as the sobbing picked back up.

Bobby’s hand cupped his face, “No, no, Bin. Not like that, I didn’t mean it like that. I…” He took a breath, and Hanbin could feel the exhale against his cheek, “I want it to be special.”

Confused, Hanbin squinted up at the older, face still contorted into a grimace as he tried to hold back a whimper.

Bobby continued, “I want it to mean something. I mean- I don’t want to rush anything just because I’m in rut. I want to take you out and give you my jacket when it’s cold. I want to surprise you with that honey tea that you like from the little hole in the wall cafe down the street. I want to drag you away from the studio just to spend time together,” Bobby rambled, red eyes never leaving the Omega’s gold, “I want to make you happy.”

The dark feeling swirling in his stomach dissipated slightly, “You al-already do that stuff,” Hanbin laughed, sobbed.

Bobby seemed surprised by his answer, “I do?”

Hanbin went back to trying to pull Bobby back against him, desperate for the contact after days of going without.

Suddenly he was gently lifted, Bobby pulling him up as Hanbin pressed himself as close to the older rapper as possible.

“Binnie, I think you have a fever.”

Hanbin didn’t care. He just wanted Bobby to stay.

He let out another whine at the thought, “Please don’t l-leave, don’t leave. Please,” Hanbin begged, voice choked and shaky, “You can’t- You can’t leave me.”

Bobby looked torn, Hanbin was practically straddling him, begging him to stay. He needed the Alpha to stay, Hanbin couldn’t lose him again.

Bobby let out a low whine, and the sound was so foreign to Hanbin that he immediately brought his hands up to the elder’s face.

“I have to go, Bin. I have to,” Bobby said, voice wavering only slightly, “I’ll come back-”

“What- What did I do w-wrong?” It had to have been his fault, it was always his fault, “Why don’t you want m-me?”

Hanbin didn’t care if he sounded pathetic, he _didn’t care._

“No, no, no. That’s not it, Bin,” Bobby whispered against his neck, “Not your fault, never your fault.”

The Alpha’s fingers threaded into his hair, the whispers turning into gentle kisses along the length of his neck, all the way up to his ear, making Hanbin whine with each one.

Bobby’s lips caught his ear, nipping at the skin and Hanbin’s whole body jerked with the shock that ran through him. He hadn’t known his ears were so sensitive, but maybe it was just Bobby’s touch he was reacting to. His whole body felt like it was on fire.

All too soon, Bobby was pulling away, and Hanbin was back to trying to pull him forward, whining out at the separation.

“I’ll be back,” Bobby’s voice was barely even heard over his own crying, “I love you-”

_No._

“Liar,” Hanbin chocked out, cutting him off, “Y-You don’t, you _don’t.”_

If Bobby loved him, he wouldn’t leave him.

Bobby pressed his lips against Hanbin’s forehead, only pulling away enough to whisper against his hair, “It’s not a lie. I do, I-” Bobby let out another low whine, and Hanbin realized the Alpha was crying too, “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Hanbin.”

“Then don’t l-leave. Stay.”

Hanbin continued to muffle his sobs against Bobby’s neck, waiting, and waiting, and _waiting._

_“Please.”_

“Okay,” Bobby breathed, “I’ll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry. that was 8k of trash


	13. I'll make you smile as much as you cried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to 'together'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waaaaaa im sosososososo sorry this took so long
> 
> i've been v busy with work, and i traveled 10 hours to see stray kids in concert a few days ago and WO W lemme tell u it was GREAT
> 
> anyway, congrats to all the peeps that picked up on my foreshadowing wooo
> 
> im at work fuck proof reading someone be my beta

It was altogether too easy for Bobby to lift Hanbin up, and he had to bite back another whine at the fact that it was _his fault._ He’d have to make sure Hanbin started eating again.

When he walked into Hanbin’s room, Bobby was slightly surprised to see all of the blankets in the room arranged in the corner-

A nest.

Hanbin was nesting.

From what he knew, Hanbin’s only had a few instances where he started to nest, but this was the first _real_ one.

Bobby didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about the fact that all of those instances were because of something he did.

Hanbin was nesting because of him.

His eyes were gold.

That had to mean _something._

He set Hanbin down first, the younger blearily moving blankets and fluffing pillows before looking up at Bobby, a silent question.

When Bobby settled in next to him, he was immediately overwhelmed by the scent of _Hanbin,_ and it took everything in him not to lose it, but then he could feel the way Hanbin was still shaking next to him, and every thought that wasn’t _protect_ was gone.

“Come ‘ere,” Bobby whispered, almost as if he were afraid his voice would break if he spoke any louder. He opened his arms up, expecting Hanbin to fall against him immediately, especially after how he had been, but instead, he was met with the tired hesitation that he so often received.

Snapping at Hanbin was his only real regret, well, other than the comments he had made when they were younger. Bobby wondered what their relationship would have been like had Bobby kept his mouth shut, and Hanbin was honest with them. They would have been a pack much sooner, that was for sure, but what about just them? Would the two of them have mated already?

Hanbin blinked up at him, “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

 

In the time he took to get settled against Bobby, it was almost like Hanbin was left in a fuzzy, semi-awareness.

Bobby was in his nest.

However hastily made it was, his Alpha was _in his nest._

Hanbin couldn’t stop the small noise he made, almost like a purr, at the thought. He was vaguely aware of the grip he had on Bobby’s shirt, but too focused on the way their legs tangled together, the way Bobby’s arms felt so secure and _right_ wrapped around him.

His Alpha.

Maybe.

Probably not.

But the way they were intertwined made it so easy for Hanbin to pretend, he could close his eyes and just focus on Bobby’s scent, imagine that they were mated and everything was okay.

He felt like he belonged, in a sense.

Like the way him and Bobby fit together was almost too perfect, like it was a spot that was only meant for Hanbin.

 

“I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted,” Hanbin mumbled, nose pressed against Bobby’s collarbone.

Bobby made a small noise of disagreement, “What? No, Bin. _No._ It- It’s not like that.” He didn’t know if he would ever be able to convince Hanbin that he wasn’t disappointed in him, but Bobby was willing to repeat it until he ran out of breath. “I’ll admit, this wasn’t what I was expecting, and it may not have been what I wanted, _originally,_ but I think it’s what I need.”

Hanbin looked up at him in confusion.

“I mean…I’ve always wanted to…yenno, have that person. I didn’t think it would be you, or them, but I always knew that we’d be together, in whatever way that would have been,” Bobby said, not quite knowing what he was saying, “But if it is you, then I’m okay with that- _More than okay._ I-” Bobby hesitated, “I do love you.”

“Say that again,” Hanbin pressed his forehead into Bobby’s chest, but he could hear the smile in the Omega’s voice.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

Bobby grinned against Hanbin’s hair, “I love you, Hanbinnie.”

Any resistance or hesitation was completely gone from Hanbin’s body, pressed as close to Bobby as he could possibly be.

Bobby was sure that the way he loved Hanbin was different than how Hanbin felt about him, but he was willing to see where it took him. He was scared for their friendship, but with the idea of _Hanbin_ being _his,_ he was sure the rewards outweighed the risks.

He did love Hanbin. He loved all of them.

But Hanbin was different.

Hanbin was… _Hanbin._

“You’re perfect just the way you are, Bin, and I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise.”

Hanbin didn’t answer, but Bobby heard the small hitch in his breath.

 

Hanbin drifted off after a few minutes, hot breaths fanning across Bobby’s collarbones and he was so fucking thankful that they were much steadier than they had been, the shaking almost calmed.

Thankfully the boner stayed away until Hanbin fell asleep.

But now Bobby was left with an incredibly uncomfortable hard-on that he desperately needed to deal with before he started rutting against Hanbin.

Problem with that, Hanbin was fully on top of him, head pillowed on his chest and if the younger would move his hips slightly to the right, he’d be directly over Bobby’s dick.

_Fuck._

Almost as if the Omega _knew,_ Hanbin shifted, and Bobby sucked in a sharp breath as his erection brushed Hanbin’s stomach, praying he wouldn’t wake him up.

He groaned.

“Hmmpf? Wha’s it?” Hanbin mumbled, and Bobby cursed his inability to _shut the fuck up._

“Uhhh, nothing, Bin,” Bobby choked out, “Go back to sleep.”

Hanbin gave an experimental wiggle of his hips before lifting up to grin down at Bobby.

“That doesn’t feel like nothing.”

What the hell happened to the frazzled Hanbin from an hour ago? The boy settled on top of him had a sharp grin, peering down at Bobby like he was some kind of prey.

When Bobby didn’t answer, Hanbin sat up, ass pressing right on his dick and he swore he was going to lose it.

“Bin,” Bobby said warningly, “I told you, I want to wait.”

Hanbin _pouted_ at him, “Not even a blowjob?”

_A blowjob sounded real fucking nice._

Bobby still tried to argue against it, “Hanbin-ah, I don’t want you to think that you have to do anythi-”

“I want to,” Hanbin was quick to say, “I want to, but if you want me to back…to back off, tell me.”

There it was.

The small hitch in his voice that made Bobby realize that Hanbin was just as nervous about this as him, but covering it with layers of bravado.

“Okay.”

The smile Hanbin shot him was _blinding,_ and Bobby didn’t understand how someone could be so happy with the idea of having a dick down their throat, but whatever.

But then he remembered, Hanbin was an Omega, and Bobby was his pack-mate. An Omega’s first instinct was to _please,_  after all.

“Okay,” Bobby repeated, suddenly nervous.

It wouldn’t be his first blowjob, far from it, but it was _Hanbin._

“Okay,” Hanbin smiled back, but instead of the sharp grin, it was the goofy lopsided one that Bobby loved so much.

The way Hanbin scooted back shouldn’t have been sexy, but Bobby was too focused on Hanbin’s legs laying over his, lean and smooth and _fuck,_ Bobby was gone.

“Stop me at any time.”

Bobby snorted. He didn’t think Hanbin meant that, not even a little.

Hands found the waistband of Bobby’s joggers, cold fingers slipping under and he gasped at the tingling touch. Hanbin’s grin went back to a smirk, like he knew how his touch was affecting Bobby.

He probably did, Bobby wasn’t exactly able to hide anything, not now, not from Hanbin.

Another gasp was ripped out as Hanbin yanked his pants down, exposing his cock to the chilled air of the younger’s room.

Bobby wasn’t used to people treating him like that, but he wasn’t exactly against it. Hanbin’s sharp gaze was _burning_ yet he felt like _ice_ was running through his veins where cold fingers pressed into tense muscles.

Hanbin’s hands were still shaking.

“W-Wait,” Bobby grabbed Hanbin’s wrist, hastily pulling his pants back up, “I don’t think I can do this.”

Hanbin’s face fell, and Bobby had to look away because he felt sick seeing that heartbroken look once again.

“I just…This doesn’t feel right?”

It was like all of the breath was knocked out of Hanbin’s lungs.

Of course, Bobby wasn’t into him like that.

“No, _Bin._ You’ve gotta listen to me,” Bobby placed his hands over Hanbin’s face, forcing their eyes to meet. “I…It just doesn’t feel like the right time.”

“Will there ever _be_ a right time?” Hanbin whispered, not able to help the way he automatically sank into Bobby’s hold.

He felt like he was standing up in the cart of a ferris wheel, with Bobby at the other end. Every step he made towards the elder made the cart shake to the point that the rocking made Hanbin nauseous.

Hanbin just hoped the ride would be worth it, in the end.

“Come on, Bin. You still look really shaky,” Bobby’s voice was soft, placating, “Just let me, uh, take care of…this, and I’ll be right back.”

Maybe he was pushing his luck, but Hanbin really didn’t want Bobby to leave his nest, not after he had gotten the alpha back.

He gave another experimental rock of his body, feeling the fingers tighten around the back of his neck.

“Hanbin,” Bobby groaned out warningly, even as his hips jerked up, forcing a gasp out of the younger rapper.

 _“Please,”_ Hanbin whispered back, practically grinding down in Bobby’s lap, “Love me.”

“I do-”

Bobby was cut off as Hanbin’s lips found his, hands slipping under his shirt and Bobby was an _idiot_ so he kissed back.

As soon as Bobby’s hands tangled in his hair, Hanbin pulled back just enough to press his lips against the elder’s neck, biting and sucking marks as though that would make him stay.

Letting out another groan, Bobby tightened his grip, “Hanbin-”

“You said you loved me,” Hanbin cut him off again, “Prove it.”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Bobby mumbled.

“Whatever you’ll give me.”

Yet again, Bobby was hit with the most intense sense of déjà vu, mind flashing back to that night, a week had passed since then but Bobby still hadn’t stopped thinking about it.

 _“Love me,”_ Hanbin whispered against his neck, voice broken and Bobby felt sick.

He knew what he should do, if he was a better person, but he wasn’t.

Bobby wasn’t a strong person, he was weak, he was weak and he wanted Hanbin so _selfishly,_ and he knew that Hanbin would give into whatever he wanted.

His resolve finally crumbled as Hanbin gave another circle of his hips and Bobby couldn’t resist, could never resist him. If he were to leave Hanbin now, he wouldn’t believe Bobby ever loved him at all, he’d feel unloved and unwanted and _alone_ again and Bobby would rather die than let that happen.

So he let Hanbin continue the slow figure eights, pressed against him and it took everything in him to not to throw Hanbin to the ground and ruin him.

“Bin,” Bobby gasped out, feeling like he was seconds from the edge of a cliff as Hanbin’s lips found his neck again.

Hanbin bit down, _hard,_ just as Bobby gave one final push before finishing in his pants like a horny teenager.

“Mine,” Hanbin bit down again in the same spot, and Bobby had to fight back a wince from both the teeth in his skin and the hips still rocking against his, _“Mine.”_

Hanbin pulled him into another kiss, far too gentle for what had just happened and Bobby could taste his own blood on Hanbin’s lips.

Mind reeling, Bobby could only breathe out a sigh as Hanbin continued to bite at his neck.

“Binnie, I’m not gonna leave, you gotta calm down,” Bobby said, getting lightheaded from the possessive pheromones pouring off of the younger in waves.

Hanbin nuzzled his throat, pressing small kisses against each and every mark he left on Bobby, wanting everyone to know that the Alpha was _his,_ Bobby was _his._

 

“Uhhh, Hanbin-ah?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you just let go for like…a second? I’ve gotta piss, like, so bad- And I’m stealing a pair of pjs.”

Hanbin begrudgingly moved off of the alpha, sitting up to hug his bare legs as he watched Bobby walk out of the door, chanting _he’s coming back_ over and over in his head.

He didn’t relax until that came true, Bobby walking back in wearing a pair of Hanbin’s sweats that actually belonged to Chanwoo, or maybe even Yunhyeong, slung low on his hips.

Bobby took his spot back, Hanbin almost immediately wrapping his arms around the elder and squishing his face against his neck.

“Now will you go back to sleep?”

“Yeah,” Hanbin breathed out.

“Good night, Bin-ah.”

“Love you?”

That was the first time Hanbin had said it outloud to Bobby, even though he knew how the younger felt about him, and even though it was almost phrased as though it was a question, Bobby still felt a smile split his face.

“Yeah, Bin. Love you.”

- 

Hanbin woke up in a cold sweat sometime far too early for when he actually managed to drift off, body shaking once more and breath coming out in uneven rasps.

Considering the last nightmare, this one wasn’t even bad in comparison, but it still left him feeling off-tilt and sick. He didn’t like thinking about the _what-ifs_ of everything, because they never ended well for him.

“Han’in?” Bobby’s voice was rough with sleep, red eyes barely even open but looking at Hanbin just the same. When he noticed the slightly panicked inhales and darting gold eyes, it was visible how much more aware he became. “Come here, Bin,” he whispered, opening his arms for the younger.

Hanbin let himself fall forward, crashing against Bobby’s chest as the Alpha started releasing soothing pheromones that he didn’t even think the elder was aware he was doing. Bobby’s lips were pressed right over the claiming bite that sat on the left side of his neck.

He didn’t even think about it before he mirrored the action, nuzzling right at the matching mark he left on the Alpha.

Was Bobby his Alpha?

Hanbin had a different feeling with Bobby than he did with the other two Alphas, but then again, Yunhyeong made him feel different than Junhoe.

He wouldn’t know if Bobby was _his_ Alpha unless they actually did have sex, but Hanbin didn’t know if that would ever really happen.

Bobby said he wanted to, but wasn’t ready, and Hanbin didn’t blame him. He could wait.

But he still didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I’m not gonna leave you,” Bobby whispered, “I’m so sorry I ever did, you deserve better than what I can give you.”

“I don’t need you to give me anything, I just need you to be there for me,” Hanbin whispered back, closing his eyes as Bobby let out a slow breath next to his ear.

“Okay.”

-

The next time Hanbin woke up was significantly better than earlier, nose pressed against the back of Bobby’s neck as the Alpha snored softly in front of him.

He still felt kind of shitty, but better than last night.

His head was _killing_ him.

“Mornin’,” Bobby yawned, turning around to press his forehead against Hanbin’s, “It feels like your fever broke.”

That would explain the cold sweat covering Hanbin’s body, and probably also why he was so thirsty.

“You’ll probably feel better if you showered,” Bobby shut his eyes again, one hand rubbing along the omega’s side, “And ate.”

Hanbin groaned, “Too much work.”

Truthfully, he just wanted to go back to sleep, but the red numbers of his clock flashed a harsh 2:17 PM.

Meaning they slept for almost 12 hours, not including the time awake after Hanbin’s nightmare.

“C’mon, Bin,” Bobby laughed. He loved grumpy, ‘morning’ Hanbin. “I guarantee you’ll feel better when you do.”

“Don’ wanna. Standing doesn’t sound fun.”

Bobby hummed, “Want me to get Yunhyeong? Or Junhoe? I’m sure they’d be willing to-”

“You do it.”

“Wha-What?” Bobby stuttered.

Hanbin stared back at him with an almost bored expression.

“You’re already here. We’ve showered together before. You’ve touched my dick. I was sitting on yours last night.”

It was easy to tell when Hanbin was feeling like crap. If it wasn’t quite to the point of him being in tears, he was exceptionally snarky and sarcastic.

But that didn’t mean Bobby expected _that._

Even if it was true.

“Fine,” Bobby relented, willing to do whatever if it made Hanbin feel any better.

 

After a little more persuasion, and more than a couple kisses pressed against pouting lips, Bobby finally got Hanbin up and relatively stable, even if he continued to backhug Bobby while the Alpha shuffled them into the bathroom.

Bobby had originally wanted to keep their underwear on, but then he realized he wasn’t actually wearing any, and Hanbin kept whining about how unnecessary it was, so Bobby relented just to make him shut up.

Which is how Bobby found himself with a naked and pliant Hanbin plastered against him under the spray of water for the second time.

He was a little worried about just how out of it Hanbin seemed, but then again, Bobby didn’t know much about how Hanbin usually was around Alphas, except for what he’s seen of the Omega with Yunhyeong and Junhoe.

Even if Bobby still felt a bit awkward, it was made a bit easier by the fact that Hanbin’s eyes were basically closed, and he just had to avoid looking at the younger, and he’d be fine.

“Wash my hair,” Hanbin demanded.

Maybe Bobby wouldn’t be fine.

“Bossy.”

He still did as he was asked (read: demanded) and grabbed the bottle of shampoo, smiling softly at the honey scent advertised on the bottle.

After Bobby had given him the blanket, Hanbin had sleepily admitted that the smell of honey was one of the most calming things to him, and that made Bobby’s heart swell a little too much to be considered ‘just bros.’

Hanbin was basically like putty in Bobby’s hands, too scared of doing something to make the Alpha panic, but at the same time trying to soak up all of the attention.

 

“C’mon, Binne. Let’s get out.”

Again, after a little bit of manhandling and a few more persuasive kisses, Bobby had gotten Hanbin out and wrapped in a fluffy towel. His eyes were hazy, but Bobby was comforted by the scent of _content Omega_ that seemed to be clouding him.

Bobby wasn’t expecting to run into Yunhyeong right after walking out of the bathroom.

The pack Alpha didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow at the _smokey cinnamon_ that was surrounding the pair of them.

“Could you get him dressed?” Bobby sheepishly asked, “I need to run and grab some clothes and he won't let go of me.”

Yunhyeong took in the sight of the clingy and thoroughly _fucked-out_ looking Omega, sighing as he pulled him away from Bobby. “Go, I’ve got him,” he said, even as Hanbin whined and tried to squirm away, “And get the others up here for a pack meeting.”

Bobby saluted, running out the door in just his sneakers and a towel wrapped around his waist because he was bad at thinking ahead.

Walking into his dorm, Bobby _also_ wasn’t expecting Junhoe to immediately slam him back into the door just as he had closed it, the entire maknae line stood in front of him.

The rough shove almost made him lose the grip on the towel, scrambling to right it before it fully slipped down.

 _“What happened?”_ Junhoe growled, almost slipping into his Alpha voice as his crowded Bobby against the wall.

Both Donghyuk and Chanwoo tensed behind him, both wanting to stop the Alpha’s actions but also wanting to see what Bobby did.

There were a lot of different scents clinging to the older Alpha, all still very apparent even after showering.

Hanbin’s _panic_ was slightly more noticeable than the _content,_ but that was mainly due to the sour nature of the emotion’s scent, making it the easiest to pick out.

Not to mention all of the bite marks and bruises littering his neck.

“Nothing bad,” Bobby rolled his eyes as he flicked Junhoe’s forehead, “I’ll explain in a bit. Pack meeting in the upstairs dorm.”

Junhoe seemed taken aback by Bobby’s casualness, but the youngest Alpha leaned down and _sniffed_ at Bobby’s neck, relaxing slightly once he picked up the less sour scents.

Bobby jumped as Junhoe rubbed his cheek against his scent gland, adding the barest layer of _leather_ over the mix of scents there.

They both flinched away from each other as Donghyuk and Chanwoo started cackling at the awkward exchange.

The two Alphas turned red from embarrassment as they pointedly look anywhere but at each other, Junhoe shouldering past him to open the door, Chanwoo following close behind.

Donghyuk’s eyes lingered on the bruises, but Bobby was relieved that the Beta’s eyes held no disappointment, only curiosity.

“Nothing bad?” Donghyuk echoed back to him, Bobby’s nod relaxing the stiff set of his shoulders before he smiled and followed the other two out the door.

_Maknae line? Try Hanbin Protection Squad._

 

By the time Bobby was dressed and already standing in front of the door to the other dorm, he realized he forgot to knock on Jinhwan’s door.

Rather than journeying back down the stairs, Bobby decided to just spam the Beta’s phone with texts.

When Bobby opened the door, he was met with the sight of a pouting Hanbin, flanked by the two maknae Betas as Junhoe sulked on the other end of the couch.

“Uh. What’d I miss?” Bobby questioned as he kicked off his shoes, alerting everyone of his presence.

Yunhyeong emerged from the kitchen carrying a plate and a bottle of water, setting both down in front of Hanbin.

“Pheromone high,” was all the eldest Alpha said, pushing two pills into Hanbin’s hand as the leader turned the pout up at him.

That would explain the haziness and general actions the Omega showed earlier, and also why Junhoe wasn’t being semi-aggressively spooned right now.

But that also meant that Bobby _should_ probably keep his distance, at least for a little bit.

“M’not hungry,” Hanbin mumbled, pushing away the plate of rice and chicken that was probably leftovers from lunch.

His eyes caught Bobby’s, flashing for a second before flicking away, looking back down at the table.

Yunhyeong sighed, “Your plate’s in the kitchen. Please get him to eat,” He said, turning to Bobby.

Nodding, Bobby went to grab the food before almost sitting on Donghyuk to squeeze next to Hanbin.

“You could’ve just asked me to move,” the Beta grumbled as he moved next to Junhoe, leaning against the Alpha.

Bobby ignored him, settling against Hanbin as the younger rapper curled into him.

He barely even noticed the amused looks as he grabbed his chopsticks, picked up a piece of chicken off of Hanbin’s plate and held it in front of the Omega’s face.

Hanbin _huffed_ out a little rush of air, but ultimately accepted the bite of chicken, chewing slowly before swallowing so he could stick his tongue out at Yunhyeong.

 

This carried on a few more times before Hanbin decided he had enough and burrowed closer to Bobby.

“You should try and eat a bit more,” Bobby urged, poking the Omega’s cheek.

Hanbin shivered, “Tired. Feel kinda sick.”

Maybe it would take a bit longer for the anti-nausea pill to kick in, but Hanbin really didn’t feel like taking his chances.

“Get up for a second, Bin?” Bobby said, Hanbin looking at him in confusion as he shuffled away.

Bobby stripped off his hoodie, leaving him in just a tank top before dumping the item on Hanbin’s head.

“But, won’t you get cold?” Hanbin asked, even as he pulled the jumper on.

Bobby grinned, “Nah, and if I do, you’ll just have to warm me up.”

“Yet I wasn’t allowed to hug him?” Junhoe rolled his eyes, “Lame.”

Laughing, Hanbin turned so his back was against Bobby’s side, throwing his legs over Junhoe’s lap.

“So are either of you gonna fill us in on what happened?” Chanwoo deadpanned, looking at the two rappers that were once again curled together.

“We didn’t fuck, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Hanbin said, shutting his eyes and dropping his head back onto Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby let out a cough, choking on an inhale at Hanbin’s wording.

“Stop moving. I’m tired.”

“Okay, but what _happened?”_ Chanwoo tried again.

Hanbin froze, tensing up against Bobby’s arm, “Rosé triggered Bobby’s rut.”

Bobby was put a bit on edge by how cold Hanbin’s voice went, moving to sit up but Bobby laid his forearm over his chest, keeping the Omega against him.

“Hmm,” Yunhyeong hummed, “I don’t think so. Bobby’s been all over you for the past few days, even before that.”

_Was he?_

Oh. Yeah. Maybe he was.

“Sooo…Why is Bobby’s neck purple?”

Bobby coughed again at Donghyuk question, but Hanbin merely shrugged.

“I think he looks better that way.”

“How come you’ve never marked me?” Junhoe sulked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Hanbin rolled his eyes, “You’re a big baby, you know that?” He said, even as he slung a leg across Junhoe’s lap, straddling the Alpha as he bit down on his neck.

_Hard._

“Ow- _Owww._ Okay you fucking piranha,” Junhoe shoved Hanbin away from him and back into Bobby, “Fuck. You’re a little bastard.”

“Can’t handle a little teeth?” Hanbin snarked, “You’re almost as bad as Jinani.”

“Hey, where _is_ Jinhwan-hyung?” Junhoe asked, noticing the lack of their surly beta.

They had all to decided to give Jinhwan his space, especially after he had come back with Bobby in tow. It was probably one of the worst moods any of them had ever seen him in, and no one knew how to approach it.

Hanbin and Bobby were the best at dealing with Jinhwan’s mood swings, but with both of the rappers going through the almost sinking of the Double B ship, Jinhwan was left to brood on his own.

The Alpha’s question made Hanbin perk up, looking around before his eyes snapped to Yunhyeong.

The second eldest was sat on the edge of the table, pointedly not meeting Hanbin’s gold eyes.

“What do you know?” Hanbin question, voice flat as Yunhyeong’s shoulders tensed slightly.

He sighed, “Bin, it’s-”

“Don’t tell me it’s not a big deal,” Hanbin cut him off, “I’m the leader. It’s my job to know. _Tell me.”_

Yunhyeong bit his lip before letting out another sigh, raising his eyes to meet Hanbin’s narrowed ones, “Jinhwan-hyung left for Jeju yesterday morning. I didn’t find out until today.”

Hanbin blanked.

He felt sick.

Jinhwan left.

Jinhwan left and didn’t tell him.

Jinhwan left because Hanbin couldn’t keep himself together.

Jinhwan left him.

_Jinhwan left him._

“Bin-”

Hanbin sprung up from his position next to Bobby, jumping over both Junhoe and Donghyuk’s legs before running to the bathroom.

He slammed the door open before dropping down to his knees, barely making it in time.

_BadBadBad._

_Jinhwan was gone._

Bobby hit the floor just seconds after Hanbin, barely stopping himself from wrapping around the younger.

“Shhh, c’mon, Binnie. _You’re okay,”_ Bobby said as he rubbed Hanbin’s back, “Jinhwan’s coming back. He’s coming back. Yunhyeong said he’d be home before our interview Wednesday.”

Bobby’s words managed to calm him slightly, but Hanbin was sure it was less about what he was saying and more that it was the Alpha speaking them.

“That’s right. _Keep breathing,_ you’ll be okay.”

Slowly, Hanbin relaxed against Bobby, and the Alpha couldn’t stop the small surge of _pride_ at being able to calm Hanbin down as fast as he did.

Bobby had always had the easiest time calming Hanbin down, but he’s also the one that’s upset him the most.

Truthfully, he had no idea what he was doing, or saying, most of the time. He usually just ended up winging it, or saying the first thing he thought of.

“Do you want your nest?” Bobby asked, “Or do you want to sit with the others?”

The Omega felt a little too warm for his liking, maybe even higher than Bobby’s own temperature.

Hanbin shook his head, nodded, and then shook his head again, before looking to Bobby with panicked blue eyes, mouth slightly open.

_Right. Panicked Hanbin + Decision making = Bad idea._

“Okay, we’re gonna sit here until you’re feeling a bit better, and then we’ll see,” Bobby said, sitting cross-legged in front of Hanbin and unwrapping the Omega’s arms from around his legs to tangle their fingers together, “If you wanted to, we could bring some of your blankets out into the living room, that way we can go over a few things still. We need to talk about the interview, as well as your next appointment. Think you can handle that?”

Hanbin nodded. That was a good start. He could be useful.

“Just tell me when you’re feeling okay enough to move.”

 

It was after another few minutes of sitting in silence that Hanbin stood up, Bobby following shortly after as the pair silently made their way to Hanbin’s room.

The shake in his hands and the empty feeling in his chest lingered, but he was okay. He was okay.

Bobby ended up being the one to carry mostly everything, Hanbin following closely behind with a pillow wrapped in one arm and his other hand fisted in the back of Bobby’s tank-top.

Walking back into the living room, the first thing he saw was Yunhyeong’s head hung low, leg shaking as Donghyuk leaned into him.

Hanbin didn’t like seeing Yunhyeong upset, especially when he was the one to cause it.

“M’sorry.”

Yunhyeong’s head whipped up in surprise, “What are you sorry for?”

Hanbin didn’t answer, just stood in front of him in a silent question.

“Do you…Do you wanna sit?” Yunhyeong asked, raising the arm that wasn’t in Donghyuk’s grasp.

Without hesitation, Hanbin immediately fit himself against Yunhyeong’s side, humming in delight as the sourness started to fade from the Alpha’s scent.

“But, Bin, what about-?” Bobby asked, gesturing to the pile of blankets that were left in the corner of the couch.

Right, his nest.

Hanbin blinked a few times to clear his head before crawling over to where Bobby was, dazedly moving pillows and blankets until they somewhat resembled what they looked like before.

His head felt weird, like it was full of cotton, and his stomach felt kind of crampy, but he was willing to bet that the throwing up was at fault for that.

He curled up in the center of his nest, whining at the lack of Alpha.

_“Hyung.”_

Both Yunhyeong and Bobby rushed toward him, almost bumping into each other as they paused in a dead stop.

Well, that wasn’t what he wanted.

Hanbin reached out for Yunhyeong first, pulling the eldest down behind him before his fingers caught Bobby’s wrist to do the same.

Unlike Yunhyeong, who had immediately fallen into place at the slightest tug, Bobby stumbled slightly before he allowed Hanbin to pull him down.

When Bobby saw Hanbin reach for Yunhyeong first, he figured that would be that, and wasn’t quite expecting the warm fingers reaching for him next.

“Are you feeling okay, Bin-ah?” Yunhyeong asked, voice a worried whisper, “Is your fever back?”

Hanbin closed his eyes, pushing his face against Bobby’s neck as he debated on how to answer.

“Yeah, it’s back,” Bobby answered for him, “Not as bad as last night, though.”

From the other end of the couch, Donghyuk moved to curl up against Yunhyeong, before pulling back at the last second and looking to Hanbin. He wasn’t sure if the Omega would get territorial with his mate, or his nest, and didn’t want to upset Hanbin any more.

But rather than the growl he was expecting, Hanbin let out a low whine.

Donghyuk wasn’t sure the cause, but the sound quieted as he moved slightly closer, and completely cut off once he settled against Yunhyeong.

“Do you think he could be going into heat again?”

The four others looked to Bobby in confusion while the Alpha flushed under the attention.

“What?” Chanwoo asked.

“Well, he’s kind of acting like he was when he was in heat, plus the fever, so…maybe?” Bobby rambled out, trying to think back to what he had read about heat cycle abnormalities.

Yunhyeong hummed, wrapping his arms around the already dozing Hanbin, “You’re rut is just finishing up, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I guess that would make sense. Since you’re his Alpha, his body could be trying to match your cycle,” Yunhyeong said, “We’ll just have to play it by ear.”

 

It was another few minutes of silence before Junhoe spoke up, “Hyung, do you know why Jinhwan-hyung left?”

Yunhyeong winced at the tone of the youngest Alpha’s voice, knowing how he felt about Jinhwan, “I don’t know, pup. He left me a voicemail once he was already there, and won’t answer my texts or calls.”

He was worried. Jinhwan was known for his somewhat rash behavior when upset, but never had he just left without telling one of them. Jinhwan may have been the eldest, but he was still Yunhyeong’s Beta.

“And he’ll be back before the interview?” Chanwoo quietly asked, speaking up for the first time since Yunhyeong told them.

“He said he would be,” Yunhyeong answered, nose pressed against Hanbin’s hair.

-

“We should probably wake him up.”

Bobby looked down at Hanbin, body going warm at the sight that greeted him.

Hanbin was curled up on him, forehead rested on Bobby’s thigh as he ran his fingers through the younger’s hair.

They still needed to talk about some stuff, and if they let Hanbin sleep any longer, he wouldn’t manage to get any sleep that night.

That was the last thing they needed.

Yunhyeong nodded, “I volunteer you,” as Chanwoo snorted beside him.

Bobby rolled his eyes as a smile formed on his face.

“Hanbinnie~” He cooed, poking at the younger’s cheek, “Wakey wakey.”

Hanbin groaned and turned his face against Bobby’s stomach.

“C’mon, Bin. You can sleep in a little bit. Right now we need you to be our leader-nim.”

Hanbin groaned again, “I’d rather not,” he said, even as he pulled himself up, trying to ignore the beginnings of a headache forming behind his gold eyes.

He blew out a breath, falling into Bobby as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Y’okay?” Bobby quietly asked, rubbing along Hanbin’s side as the Omega shrugged.

“Dunno yet, just start talking.”

“Okay, well,” Yunhyeong took over, “You have that appointment tomorrow, unless you aren’t feeling up to it, then we can try to reschedule it. YG only wants one of us to go with you, and normally as the Pack Alpha and your mate, it would be me.”

Hanbin nodded, even as his fingers tightened in the fabric of Bobby’s hoodie that was still draped around him.

“But,” Yunhyeong continued, “Woohyuk-hyung won’t be able to take us, and instead we’ll be going with WINNER’s manager. So I asked if Bobby would be able to come with.”

Bobby looked at Yunhyeong in surprise, but the older Alpha’s warm smile was soon mirrored on his own face.

“Same place?” Hanbin asked, thinking back to Dr. Novak, and how oddly calm she kept him, even without any pheromones.

Which was strange, Hanbin would have thought that the lack of pheromones would put him on edge.

“Of course. Unless you would rather go somewhere else?”

Hanbin shook his head, wincing as the movement made his head throb.

He tried to assess how he felt, but his head was still fuzzy and laggy, yet he didn’t know why.

“I feel like shit.”

Bobby whined, the sound making Hanbin immediately try to climb in his lap to soothe the distressed Alpha.

It must have been some sight, because soon all three of the maknaes were snickering at them, Hanbin even caught Junhoe mouthing the word _whipped_ to one of the others.

-

Later that night, Hanbin’s nest had found it’s way back into his room, this time on his bed, with both Yunhyeong and Bobby curled up with him. Donghyuk and Junhoe had gone back to their dorm a few hours earlier, with Chanwoo making his way to join them just minutes ago.

He poked Yunhyeong in the side, the dozing Alpha letting out a snore in response.

“Hyung,” he tried again, voice almost slipping into a whine.

His back was killing him, and the dull cramps were still making his stomach ache with the proximity to both Alphas.

Hanbin took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly, _“Alpha,”_ and there the whine was, unable to push it away no matter how hard he tried.

In any other situation, the response would have been outright hilarious, both Yunhyeong and Bobby snapping awake at the call.

“What’s wrong, Bin-ah?” Yunhyeong askes, shoulders tense as he brushed the hair away from Hanbin’s warm forehead.

Was this a wave of Hanbin’s heat hitting?

Hanbin pushed his head against Yunhyeong’s shoulder, subsequently pressing his ass back against Bobby’s crotch and making the Alpha grunt in surprise.

Bobby looked to Yunhyeong in panic, trying to ignore the way his head said _run_ and focus on his body telling him to _stay._

It ended up being surprisingly easy, especially with the way his hands naturally gravitated towards Hanbin’s waist, palm splaying out over the Omega’s stomach.

“Better?” Bobby asked, slightly surprised as Hanbin immediately relaxed against him.

Humming, Hanbin nuzzled Yunhyeong’s collarbone, pressing his nose against the eldest’s scent gland as the Alpha starting making that soothing rumbling sound Bobby wished he knew how to do.

Hanbin wiggled around until his back was completely flush to Bobby’s abs, forcing the air out of the Alpha’s lungs as the younger’s ass made full contact with his dick, yet again.

“Better,” Hanbin echoed back, voice barely anything more than a breathy whisper against Yunhyeong’s shoulder, and the two Alphas shared a look over Hanbin’s head.

Bobby was still trying to come to terms with the mating, but seeing Hanbin with Yunhyeong barely phased him, anymore, even though Hanbin with Junhoe still made him feel oddly territorial.

He didn’t know if that was because Hanbin was only mated to Yunhyeong, or if it was because he himself was bonded with the Alpha.

Although, Bobby also had a feeling that it could be because barely anything seemed different. Yunhyeong and Hanbin were always the soft pair with each other, and now it seemed that they had fallen into the two leadership roles, respectively.

They were always the support pillars of iKON, Hanbin was their physical strength, and Yunhyeong their emotional.

Bobby was content with his place as the “greeter,” as Donghyuk had called him once. He liked being the smiles that balanced out Hanbin’s sharp stares, especially in the beginning.

They all had their own place in the pack, and now that it was solidified, Bobby felt more at home than he ever had.

Yet he couldn’t deny the pull that he felt with Jinhwan being gone. It may not take much to rile up the Beta, but never had he gone to such extremes.

Bobby tried to think back to the last time he had spoken to the eldest, when Jinhwan had picked him up from the company building. The Beta seemed even more irritable than usual, but Bobby figured it was just the stress they were all under with what happened with Hanbin’s heat.

_Hanbin’s heat._

Could that have something to do with it?

But…why?

He didn’t think that Jinhwan was still upset about finding out that Hanbin was an Omega, but maybe the secret had hit him a bit harder than they thought.

 _Hell,_ Bobby was still trying to process it, but he still wished Jinhwan would have talked to them, or even just him.

He knew what it was like, he might have been able to help.

It was upsetting, and he couldn’t even think to imagine how Hanbin felt about it.

It was the three of them first.

It was almost funny, how none of them really fit much into their respective dynamics.

Hanbin was always the prime example of an Alpha, Bobby was more lax.

He would have been a good Beta, even though most would disagree, but Bobby wasn’t nearly as dominant as everyone seemed to think he was.

Jinhwan was always their ‘Omega’, even though he was really their eldest Beta.

Since their pack, however unofficial, didn’t have one, Jinhwan had just fallen into that place.

“Bappie?”

Hanbin’s murmur brought him out of his thoughts, looking to see Yunhyeong already back asleep.

Somehow, the Omega had managed to turn around without him noticing, Bobby’s hand now lying flat on the small of the younger’s back.

“Yeah, Bin?” Bobby whispered back.

Hanbin’s eyes found his, and even in the dark, Bobby could see the tears forming in them.

“Jinani’s coming back, right?”

 _God,_ leaving him was the biggest mistake Bobby’s ever made.

“Yeah, Bin,” he repeated, this time with no question in his voice, “He’s coming back.”

-

“Feeling any better?”

Hanbin groaned, shifting on the uncomfortable tiles of the bathroom floor.

He’s been throwing up non-stop for the past 30 minutes, _at least,_ even though he had felt fine that morning.

Maybe he ate breakfast too fast, his stomach still not quite right.

 _Okay, thinking about food wasn’t a good idea,_ Hanbin bitterly thought as he leaned forward again.

“I’ll take that as a no?”

Every time Hanbin thought he was done, another wave would slam into him full force. Bobby had been sat with him for the past few minutes, taking Yunhyeong’s place as the Pack Alpha had to call WINNER’s manager.

Bobby placed a hand on his shoulder, just as Hanbin finally sat back on his heels.

The hand tried to pull him back, but Hanbin resisted.

“Nooo, I’m all gross,” he huffed, even though he wanted nothing more than to curl up against the Alpha.

He was both sweating and shivering, body shaking from the exertion of puking his guts up at 8 in the morning.

Bobby whined, “C’mon, Binnie. You’re not gross,” he said, trying to pull Hanbin into him again, “Please, just let me do this?”

The way the Alpha said it made it seem like Bobby needed it just as much as he thought Hanbin did, and that thought made his heart soar, even as his stomach churned again.

He still let Bobby wrap him in a hug, warm hands rubbing up his arms as the older rapper gasped, _“Jesus,_ Bin. You’re freezing.”

Hanbin shrugged, “Been in here for a while.” He closed his eyes, shoulders relaxing slightly as the nausea stayed away.

“Yunyeong-hyung and I both think you should push the appointment back,” Bobby said, carding his fingers through Hanbin’s hair.

“Why? If I’m sick, I’d rather just figure out what’s wrong with me now,” Hanbin argued back, voice hoarse and _tired._

But he would rather just get it over with, and he knew from the past few days that he would start to feel better after a few hours, so Hanbin figured he’d be fine.

“Fine,” Bobby sighed, even though he wasn’t completely on board with the idea, “Let’s get you ready.”

Hanbin let Bobby help him up, keeping him steady with an arm around his waist, hand pressed to his stomach, as he brushed his teeth, trying not to gag around the toothbrush but so desperately wanting to be rid of that god-awful taste.

It was made slightly better by Bobby’s gentle scenting, even though Hanbin was sure he was all sweaty and smelled _sick,_ he was thankful.

Bobby lead him back into his room, and Hanbin didn’t fight as the Alpha made quick work of changing him into something that definitely didn’t belong to him, likely Yunhyeong’s, as Hanbin did nearly none of the work.

“Okay,” Hanbin groaned, “Let’s get this shit over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet
> 
> follow my twitter @YGgetanAttitude and be my friend
> 
> next chapter won't take as long im sorry
> 
> pls leave me comments i luv
> 
> ill edit this in a few hours lol check back then


	14. I hope you're happy, for as much as you suffered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your fingertips pull me  
> With a soft feeling  
> Do you know? How meaningful that is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from Everything - iKON  
> summary is Touch - NCT
> 
> Um hi it's been a while
> 
> im at work rn lololol  
> this is only 6k, and im vvv sorry it's taken so long but ive been SO busy hahah rip me
> 
> check back in a few days, i have a little cute blurb im going to add onto the end of this chapter, as a little apology for being a twat haha
> 
> as always, hit up my twitter and my curious cat, both are @YGgetanAttitude
> 
> ill edit this later lol  
> (no i wont)
> 
> EDIT: End of chapter has a lil JunBin blurb bc i got bored lol, might add more later

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“For the last time,” Hanbin groaned, “I feel fine.”

Bobby raised an eyebrow at him, “Positive? How fine is fine? Like, a hundred percent? Or even seventy percent? Sixty?”

“Bap, I don’t think I’ve been a hundred percent since I presented,” Hanbin gave him a dry laugh, “Fifty-three, I feel like a fifty-three.” He raised his head away from the window, catching Bobby’s far hand in his own to press against his stomach, immediately feeling the cramping calm slightly, “Hmm, okay. Now it’s a solid sixty-five.”

He didn’t quite feel nauseous anymore, just crampy, but he’s dealt with the cramps before, he could deal with them now.

Bobby seemed slightly surprised at Hanbin’s move, but went with it none-the-less, hand slipping under a baggy hoodie to rub his thumb over heated skin.

Hanbin almost immediately relaxed into the hold, going almost boneless as Bobby snaked an arm around his back to pull the younger into his chest.

Exhausted from the past few days, Hanbin fell asleep within minutes.

Bobby took his hand away from the Omega’s stomach, wiggling to reach his phone in his pocket without waking Hanbin.

When he grabbed hold of it, the first thing he did was search up Hanbin’s list of symptoms.

He knew they were going to be at the clinic shortly, but he still wanted to see for himself.

Bobby also knew that he shouldn’t automatically believe the _CANCER_ glaring up at him, but he couldn’t help the way his breath caught, arm tightening around Hanbin’s back as the younger rapper whined at him.

He hoped that Hanbin would be okay.

-

It wasn’t much longer before they were pulling into the back parking lot of the clinic, Bobby having to support a golden-eyed and groggy Hanbin inside before letting them both fall into the chairs in the waiting room.

Yunhyeong gave the pair an exasperated look before walking up to the lady at the desk, signing them in.

Hanbin woke up just a few minutes before they were called, yawning into his sleeve while Yunhyeong pulled him by the other one, Bobby trailing a few paces behind.

“Ah, Hanbin. It’s good to see you again,” Dr. Novak pulled Hanbin into a hug as soon as he was in the room, much different than last time, “You’re looking much better, too.”

Yunhyeong and Bobby were both looking around the exam room, the same one that Hanbin had gone to before, painted a warm yellow like the doctor’s office.

“And you two must be part of the pack I’ve heard so much about,” she said, holding her hand out towards the two older members.

Yunhyeong immediately bowed, shaking her hand between both of his, “Song Yunhyeong, Pack Alpha.”

“A pleasure,” the doctor turned to Bobby, “And you must be Bobby.”

The Alpha stiffened, not liking the knowing smirk on her face, or the fact that she knew about him.

Well, more that he didn’t know _what_ she knew about him.

Hanbin had mentioned that his doctor was an Unpresented, but Bobby didn’t know that it would make him feel this uncomfortable.

She hummed, retracting her hand as Yunhyeong _thumped_ Bobby on the back for being disrespectful, “No worries,” she turned back to Hanbin, holding a thermometer in one hand, “Now, how have you been doing these past few days?”

Hanbin gave her a small shrug, slouching forward on the exam table he had taken a seat on, “Not so good, I guess,” he sheepishly admitted, now brown eyes flashing towards Yunhyeong.

Almost immediately the Alpha was by his side, taking a seat next to him and wrapping an arm around his back.

“Hoodie off.” Dr. Novak didn’t seem surprised in the slightest, rather amused actually, as she velcroed the blood pressure cuff around Hanbin’s bicep as soon as he listened, “Any new developments?”

As if he already knew that Hanbin wasn’t going to answer, Yunhyeong spoke up for him, “Uh. Fluctuating fever, cramps, back pain…He was throwing up for a bit this morning? And yesterday too, actually.”

“You just came out of a heat, yes?”

Hanbin nodded, “About a week ago.”

“Any reactions to the medication?”

“Uh…” Hanbin blinked before flashing her another sheepish smile.

The doctor shot him a look over her glasses, “You haven’t been taking them, have you?” At Hanbin’s little _‘No,’_ she raised her arm up to rub at her forehead, rattling off a language that none of them had ever even _heard_ of before.

Hanbin couldn’t stop himself from flinching back at the too-quick movement, body tensing slightly in _panic_ before Yunhyeon’s fingers found his neck, lightly pressing down on the mating bite sat there.

Yunhyeong saw how the woman’s eyes flashed in _confusion,_ then _understanding,_ and finally _pity,_ before being schooled back into a blank gaze.

She cleared her throat, busying her hands with Hanbin’s file, “So, tell me more about the cramping. Is it the sharp pains you had described last time?”

“No?” Hanbin rubbed a hand over his stomach before pausing, “Well…sometimes? But it’s more of a dull kind of ache.”

It wasn’t as bad as when he was in heat, unless he was alone, then the pain became almost unbearable.

“Any notable changes in scent?”

Yunhyeong started, “He doesn’t smell the same as when he _wasn’t_ in heat…” He trailed off, not knowing how to explain it.

“But it’s also different than when he _was_ in heat?” Bobby continued, still standing with his arms crossed by the door.

Hanbin was both embarrassed and thankful, cheeks burning as he fought the urge to hide behind Donghyuk’s? Chanwoo’s? (It had both of their scents in a strange mix of _apple_ and _mint)_ hoodie that sat balled up in his lap as the others continued to talk about him.

“Hmmm,” Dr. Novak mumbled something Hanbin wasn’t able to catch as she turned on the screen next to him.

“What’s that?” Came Bobby’s slightly wary voice from the back, but Hanbin was still staring at the strangely familiar monitor in front of him.

He thought back to when his mother was pregnant with Hanbyul, ignoring the way his throat tightened up at the thought of them and instead focused on the memories associated with the machine.

“U-Ultra…sound?”

“Mhm.”

Hanbin’s mouth fell opened as he put together the pieces, “Y-You think I’m _pregnant?”_ He practically screeched, “I literally lost my virginity a…a week ago?”

Bobby started choking where he stood, and even Yunhyeong lost his composure for a second.

Dr. Novak, however, did not.

“Well, you can tell as early as a week after, but a blood test would be more beneficial for that. Rather, this is the easiest and least invasive way of checking your reproductive organs. Now, lie back, please.”

Still somewhat shellshocked, Hanbin continued to stare at her.

It wasn’t until Yunhyeong moved to get up that Hanbin snapped out of it, unable to hold down the whimper as the Alpha’s warmth left his side.

“You don’t have to move, hun.”

At the doctor's words, Yunhyeong took one look at Hanbin’s pout before reclaiming his spot, pulling the Omega’s legs over his lap so Hanbin could lie back on the table.

It was hard to miss how tense and guarded Bobby seemed, even growling as Dr. Novak’s hands found the bottom of Hanbin’s t-shirt.

The Alpha at least had the decency to look embarrassed, even though the older woman was looking at him with amusement.

“Are you a boyfriend or a bodyguard?” She mused, rolling her chair back to grab something, “I’ve had more than three on one table before. Trust me, there’s nothing I haven’t already seen.”

He flushed slightly at being called out before scurrying over to the bed, sitting above Hanbin’s head but scootching down when the younger rapper lifted up slightly, resting his head back down on Bobby’s lap.

Both of the Alphas caught the poorly concealed look of fondness that flashed across the doctor’s face, and both were put on a similar thought track at it.

From what either of them could tell, she carried no distinct scent (save for Hanbin’s), had no ring, or any sort of bite on her person.

Not only was she an Unpresented, but packless?

“Okay, up,” Dr. Novak tapped her fingers over Hanbin’s ribs, waiting for the Omega to do as told, pushing his shirt to just below his nipples.

He winced when the fabric brushed them, unsure as to why they felt a bit more sensitive than usual but not wanting to look down to check if they were hardened or not. Looking down meant seeing his body, and seeing his body meant coming to terms with one of his least favorite things about his dynamic.

Instead, he shut his eyes as Bobby’s hand carded through his hair, gentle fingers making him relax almost instantly.

Hanbin wondered why his body reacted so strongly to Bobby’s actions, words, thoughts. It had to be because Bobby was _his_ Alpha, that was the only thing that would explain why Yunhyeong’s touches made his knees weak, but Bobby’s made it so he could barely walk.

And he wasn’t even _mated_ to Bobby like he was Yunhyeong.

Something cold touched his stomach and Hanbin’s eyes snapped open in panic, Yunhyeong immediately catching his hand before he could do anything.

His eyes finally focused.

_Right. Doctor. Ultrasound._

“A little warning next time,” Hanbin tried to jokingly snark out, but probably failed miserably with the way his heart was still racing.

Both the doctor and Yunhyeong’s mouths were drawn into thin lines, causing Hanbin to shrink back slightly because he knew he was the reason.

Looking at Bobby was almost as bad, the Alpha’s burning gaze locked on Dr. Novak’s hands, and subsequently, Hanbin’s waist.

Slanted eyes traced every dip and curve, following aged hands as the woman continued to spread the cold gel onto Hanbin’s skin.

He could feel Bobby’s thighs tensing up every time fingers skimmed the waistband of his track pants, hand stilling in his hair.

“Never thought I’d be in this position,” Hanbin once again tried to joke, but his voice was shaking just as bad as Bobby’s hands were.

“The best way to examine ovaries would be with a transvaginal ultrasound, but it’s a bit harder with male Omegas, so we’ll be using a low-frequency curvilinear probe.”

“A what?”

She sent an exasperated look at Bobby, “This,” raising the transducer up, “Will make pictures show up on that,” pointing it at the screen.

“Oh.”

Ignoring the Alpha, Dr. Novak placed the tip a few centimeters below Hanbin’s navel, just above the lowered waistband of his pants. A grainy image popped up as she rocked it back and forth slightly, the picture moving with it.

“Do you know what this is?” She asked, look at Hanbin.

He raised his eyebrow, “Should I?”

It was hard to really make out anything, just a bunch of fuzzy splotches in different shades of grey.

“You really know nothing about your dynamic, I’m guessing?”

Hanbin looked away, not sure whether his face was burning from embarrassment or shame, or _both,_ but not wanting to look at the screen any longer.

He spent years trying to hide what he was, ignoring every instinct he could while trying so desperately to be something he wasn’t. Of course, he knew nothing about Omega biology, it was by choice.

It was a lot easier to ruin his body when he didn’t know just how bad he was hurting himself.

Hanbin may have missed the look that flashed across the doctor’s face, but, yet again, both Bobby and Yunhyeong caught it.

Yunhyeong ran his hand along the outside of Hanbin’s thigh, legs still bent above his lap as the younger untensed slightly.

“This is your uterus,” Dr. Novak clarified, outlining a shape with her finger as Hanbin peeked back, “It’s where the fetus develops. It’s made up of the fundus, body, and the isthmus. This is your cervix,” she pointed a few centimeters away, “It’s the inferior third of the uterus and typically around 3 centimeters long in non-pregnant adults.”

Hanbin couldn’t form any words, left staring wide-eyed at the screen.

He had always known that there was a possibility he could conceive, but had shoved it away into the back corners of his mind, hating himself a little more every time he thought about it.

“It kinda looks like an eggplant,” Bobby mused, making Yunhyeong snort.

“Really?” Dr. Novak deadpanned, “I see more of a pear. Now, your uterus doesn’t exactly sit at the midline-”

“What does that mean?” Bobby panicked.

“It’s perfectly normal, don’t worry.”

The Alpha still looked worried, leaving Hanbin to reach the hand that wasn’t holding on to Yunhyeong’s up to grasp Bobby’s, using it to pull his arm to be sat across his chest.

Hanbin tried not to wince at the pressure on his nipples, but Bobby didn’t seem to notice as he was still focused on the doctor.

“So…” The Alpha started, “No l-leo…li…LMS?”

“Leiomyosarcoma? What makes you bring that up?”

Bobby noticed that she hadn’t clarified what they were talking about yet, so neither did he, instead offering her a barely there shrug as Hanbin squeezed his hand.

“That’s…That’s what your aunt had?” Hanbin quietly asked, remembering how broken Bobby was over that phone call all those years ago.

Hanbin never wanted to see him like that again.

Bobby nodded.

“Well, any large abnormalities would show up on screen, but we can run another test if you’d like?”

Hanbin felt Bobby give his hand a little squeeze, “Yeah, okay.”

“Alright,” she scribbled something on her clipboard, “But for now, shall we continue?”

Hanbin looked back at the screen just as she placed the transducer back down, slightly to the side of where she had it before. The doctor rocked it back and forth a few times before seemingly finding what she was looking for.

“Ah, there we are. See that?”

“…No?”

“That,” she pointed to a blurry oval, “Is one of your ovaries, where the ova develop. They’re also the endocrine glands that produce reproductive hormones.” Dr. Novak moved it again, “This is the gland that produces slick…” She paused, “Usually it gets slightly enlarged during heats, but yours appears to be a bit swollen. You had mentioned that the cramping was pretty bad during your heat? Well, this could be another effect of the suppressants. Since you had pretty much put a stop to it for a number of years, your body may be trying to overcompensate with its slick production now, while you’re not in heat, leading to the swelling and the cramps.”

“Is there anything we can do about that?” Yunhyeong asked, worry evident in his voice but clear of his scent.

“How long has it been since you last partook in any sexual activity?”

Bobby flushed slightly at the question, but Hanbin’s stomach hurt too much to feel bashful, “Like, yesterday. Unless you mean the last time I had something in my ass? Then, four? Five days?”

The woman hummed, ignoring Yunhyeong’s snickering (he had been the _something)_ and Bobby’s coughing to write that down.

“The gland can be activated by both internal and external stimulus. I would recommend doing so frequently, at least until the swelling starts to go down. Nightly, or at far every few days, just to avoid a build-up.”

Hanbin groaned, “So, you’re saying I have to get fingered every night or my stomach is gonna hurt?”

 _Great._ Another thing to add to the list of _Ways his body hated him._

“Sometimes I’m grateful I never had children,” Dr. Novak sighed, causing Hanbin to stick his tongue out, Yunhyeong giggling too much to reprimand him.

“Anyway,” she continued, “If you would listen to me. I had said that the stimulation doesn’t have to be internal. Just like you can sometimes stimulate the prostate through the perineum, the same goes for your slick gland. In male Omegas, the prostate has a direct connection to the slick gland, so any internal stimulus would have a faster result, but is ultimately not necessary.

Placing her hand slightly to the side of where she had the wand, closer to the center and in line with Hanbin’s hipbones, she pressed down lightly, causing Hanbin to jerk away in discomfort.

The doctor hummed, “I suppose it feels rather crummy when I do it, but if you’d give me your hand,” Dr. Novak gestured toward Yunhyeong, the Alpha looking at her in surprise as she guided his fingers toward the same spot, “It probably feels much better.”

Almost instantly the cramping dulled down slightly. Hanbin blew out a breath at the feeling, nodding at the doctor and squeezing Bobby’s hand.

“C-Can I try?” Bobby stuttered.

Hanbin moved their still-joined hands downward, all the way to where Yunhyeong’s had been, before he untangled their fingers.

He let Bobby explore the area before finding the spot that felt a little warmer, a little more tender, than the rest, pushing down firmer than Yunhyeong as Hanbin felt his breath catch.

And then he felt slick trickle out.

Both Alphas froze up slightly as the scent in the air turned heavier, _sweeter,_ Bobby glancing at the doctor before realizing that she couldn’t smell it.

Although, judging by the barely shown smirk, she could definitely tell what happened from Hanbin’s frozen face.

“And the cramping has calmed a bit, yes?”

 

“So…He’s _not_ going into heat again?”

“I don’t believe so. His body temperature is slightly higher than normal, but not at the degree of standard heat-level. It may still be a possibility, but it’s still too soon to tell. Even though many of the symptoms, such as the morning-sickness, point to pregnancy, that is a rather unlikely answer, but seeing as it’s only been a few days since any possible conception, it would be impossible to tell until the results of the blood test come it. Rather, he may be going through a pseudo-heat,” She explained all of this while poking around Hanbin’s neck, feeling his scent glands before addressing Yunhyeong, “Your rut cycle has just ended, I’m assuming?”

“No, it was mine,” Bobby gave her a sheepish smile.

“Ah, so you’re the lucky Alpha of this feisty Omega. My apologies.”

Bobby’s smile turned into a full grin, Hanbin had to look away.

Dr. Novak smiled right back at him as she continued to feel around Hanbin’s throat.

 

“So how have you been, mentally?”

Hanbin was still laying down over Bobby and Yunhyeong’s lap as the doctor prodded around his torso, almost lulled asleep by the fingers gently carding through his hair.

“Hm? Oh- Uh. I- You know how you said I was showing signs of Separation Anxiety?” Hanbin mumbled, “Think you’re right.”

She didn’t miss the way Bobby looked away from the Omega, eyes downcast as Hanbin squeezed his hand. “Deep breath,” she pressed down just below his ribs, “Let it go. Anything in particular happen?”

“Jinan- He-” Hanbin’s looked at Yunhyeong, blue eyes pleading as he felt his heart start to race.

“One of the Betas in our pack, he went back home without telling any of us. It’s been a few days without any messages.”

“Well, there isn’t any clear cure for something like PSA, rather it’s something you’ll have to work through. Another deep breath...okay. When your Beta returns, you need to make sure that he understands just how his actions have affected you. Your body won’t be able to handle going into another drop, right now. If you want to be able to have pups in the future, you need to take care of yourself-”

“Wait-” Hanbin cut her off, “Are- Are you saying-?”

She frowned slightly, “From what I’ve seen, your body would be too weak to go through a pregnancy right now, and probably incapable of even fertilizing any eggs, likely resulting in an immediate termination during the formation of the fetus-”

Hanbin visibly deflated.

 _“-But,_ there is still a chance that no permanent damage has been done to your reproductive system, and you may still be able to carry in the future.”

“And how exactly would that work?” Yunhyeong asked.

“You’re idols, yes?”

Hanbin nodded, he figured she had known.

“Your companies should really put more into educating you kids about this. Many of you drop out to pursue being an idol, leaving you at a serious disadvantage.”

Once again, Hanbin could only hear the disappointment in her tone, body automatically making him shrink back slightly at her words.

“Male Omegas aren’t _too_ different, but there are a few big things you should know…”

 

* * *

 

“June-yah?”

Donghyuk softly knocked on the Alpha’s door.

It was almost noon, Chanwoo having gone back to his room to join his gamer-squad, leaving Donghyuk alone.

“Jun-Juuuuuuuun.”

The door opened.

“What do you want?” Junhoe sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

From what Donghyuk could see, the singer’s room seemed to be more of a mess than usual, almost like he had deliberately trashed it-

_Oh._

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” Donghyuk asked sympathetically, taking in Junhoe’s tired eyes and defeated posture.

The Alpha shrugged, “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You could’ve come to me, or something.”

“You were with Chanwoo…”

Donghyuk shook his head, “You’re both my dongsaengs, I’m your hyung. Let me take care of you, sometimes.”

He took Junhoe by the hands, leading the Alpha into the hallway and to his own room. Dimming the lights, he pulled the younger over to the bed, pushing him down.

“Dong, what-”

“We’re gonna nap,” Donghyuk cut him off, “But first I’m gonna cheer you up.”

Junhoe snorted, “And how are you going to do that?”

The only thing that would make him feel better at this point was if Jinhwan were to come back.

“I’m gonna suck your dick,” Donghyuk cheerily proclaimed.

He’s had a bit of practice recently with Chanwoo, and was getting closer to being able to deepthroat without gagging.

Junhoe started laughing, but then he realized that Donghyuk was being _serious_ when the Beta climbed on the bed, kneeling in front of him.

“You- Really?”

“Comfort blowjob.”

Donghyuk all but climbed into Junhoe’s lap, positioning their hips together.

Junhoe groaned as the Beta ran a hand along his back, tracing down to his hip as he gently tugged on the younger’s earlobe with his teeth.

Donghyuk used his knee to spread Junhoe’s legs, straddling one of the Alpha’s thighs as he nuzzled down his neck, lightly nipping over the bruised bite mark Hanbin had put there yesterday.

“Let me help you,” Donghyuk murmured, “Let me take care of you.”

“Okay…Hyung.”

Smiling, Donghyuk pulled Junhoe into a kiss, the Alpha submitting to him as he let Donghyuk lead.  

Hands trailed down firm shoulders, traced over a broad chest and past hard abs.

Donghyuk’s fingers started tugging insistently at the bottom of Junhoe’s shirt, raising an eyebrow up at the younger until he complied.

The Alpha stripped the item of clothing off, and Donghyuk made quick work of pulling down Junhoe’s shorts.

“I always forget just how big your dick is,” Donghyuk mused, making Junhoe laugh at the Beta’s words.

Fingers danced along the base of Junhoe’s cock, circling there before tugging lightly.

_“Ah-”_

Junhoe’s hands fisted in the back of his shirt, barely giving the dancer any warning before yanking it up and off, nails tracing down his now exposed back.

Donghyuk pushed the younger male backward, Junhoe’s head hitting the pillows behind him with a small grunt as he peered up at him.

Trailing kisses down the line of Junhoe’s hard hipbone, Donghyuk grinned at how docile Junhoe was being before licking a wet stripe up the underside of the Alpha’s length.

Junhoe groaned again as Donghyuk took the head of his cock into his mouth, the singer giving a small thrust of his hips as barely-present suction was applied.

Sliding his mouth farther down, Donghyuk tried to ignore the slight discomfort in his jaw as he took Junhoe’s cock a little further, determined to make him feel even a little bit better.

“D-Hyung-” Junhoe panted as the Beta cupped his balls, gently rolling them between his fingers as Junhoe threaded his fingers through the elder’s hair.

He yanked lightly, yelping as Donghyuk pinched his thigh in retaliation before _humming_ around his cock. Junhoe could feel himself pulsing in Donghyuk’s wet mouth, could feel that he was already getting close, even though he could last for much longer if he tried.

But he was sick of trying, sick of holding out to please his partner when he had the chance to just _let go._

It seemed Donghyuk didn’t want it to end so quickly, however, pulling away from his cock and sitting up to strip his own pants and boxers off, discarding them somewhere on the floor.

He pulled Junhoe’s legs up, positioning them around his own waist as the Alpha hid his face in his hands.

Donghyuk reached forward, firmly gripping the younger’s cock in his hand and using the slide from his own spit to glide from base to tip, rubbing circles with his thumb over a sensitive head.

He could see Junhoe’s face growing red behind his hands as the Alpha tried to muffle his little intakes of breath, eyes closing as he let out a low moan.

Releasing the grip he had, Donghyuk giggled at Junhoe’s quiet whine before lining their cocks up, reaching a hand around both of their dicks as he picked up the pace.

Junhoe’s hand wrapped around the dancer’s, moving in sync as his own moans turned shorter, pumping faster and firmer as he neared the edge.

“Hyung, _close.”_

“Just let go,” Donghyuk smirked, _“Alpha.”_

 

* * *

 

Hanbin shifted, feeling slightly uncomfortable without the presence of the two Alphas with him.

Dr. Novak had asked to speak with him privately, Yunhyeong heading out to call their driver and Bobby promising to be right outside the door.

“Try not to look so scared. I know I can be intimidating, but you truly look terrified,” the doctor joked, making Hanbin shoot her a shaky grin.

“You wanted to talk to me, Dr. Novak?” He asked, worry evident in his voice as he thought about all of the negative things she could tell him.

“Casey is fine,” she smiled, “And just wanted to chat.”

Hanbin raised his eyebrow.

“Alright, I wanted to talk to you about seeing someone. From my understanding, you’ve been through a lot of things that haven’t truly had the chance to process and work through, leading to a lot of frustration and self-hatred.”

Hanbin wanted to argue back that he didn’t _hate_ himself, just what he _was,_ but realized just after opening his mouth that they were basically the same thing.

He watched as she slid a card across the desk and wordlessly pocketed it, chest too tight to say anything back.

“Now, that Bobby. He’s a cute one, huh?”

“W-What?” Hanbin gaped, “That’s really…unprofessional.”

She waved him off, “Both of those boys seem to care a lot about you.”

“Yeah?” Hanbin gave her a shy smile, eyes drifting to the floor, “I really care about them.”

Suddenly, he froze.

Hanbin barely remembered to grab the pharmacy slip before calling out a hasty goodbye, rushing away from the desk and out the door.

Only to come face to face with Bobby and some _girl._

Even through his haze of jealousy, he could tell that Bobby wasn’t the slightest bit interested.

But the _girl._

Was. All. Over. Him.

He growled, watching as she placed a hand on Bobby’s arm, only holding it together at the sight of the Alpha gave her a smile and shook it off.

Except she either didn’t notice, or didn’t care, trailing her fingers over his wrist and Hanbin lost it.

He marched over to the pair of them, trying to smile but knowing that his eyes were too sharp, grin too cutting, to be convincing.

“Bin!” Bobby smiled at him before it slipped off, a frown taking over as he noticed the Omega’s tense posture, “Y’okay?”

Rather than answering, Hanbin _huffed,_ plastering himself against Bobby’s back and glaring at the other Omega before she scurried away.

 _Stupid._ Couldn’t she see that Bobby was marked? She should know better than to get her nasty _honeydew_ all over his Alpha.

“Hey, calm down,” Bobby tried to placate him, “You didn’t have to do that. She was a fan, just being friendly.”

Hanbin gaped at him.

_Friendly?_

No wonder the Alpha had missed the fact that Hanbin has been in fucking love with him since before even presenting. He was dense as fuck to any feelings of attraction towards him.

“Friendly?” Hanbin choked, “You call that _friendly?_ She was all _over_ you!”

“She…touched my arm?”

And the worst part was that he knew Bobby genuinely believed what he was saying, and it was _frustrating as fuck because he knew_ that the interaction meant _nothing_ to the older rapper.

But it meant something to him.

Hanbin closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it go before opening them back up.

He immediately forgot why he was mad, left staring into Bobby’s completely unguarded eyes.

“She was just a fan, Hanbin-ah. I’m yours.”

Oh, right. The girl.

Hanbin’s golden eyes narrowed, ready to bitch the Alpha out before finding that he couldn’t, not when Bobby was-

Was-

“Stop looking at me like that!”

Bobby looked genuinely confused, “L-Like what?”

“Like,” Hanbin groaned, running his hands through his hair to tangle in the brown strands, “Like I’m your everything!”

His exasperated tone was mirrored in Bobby’s voice, the Alpha matching Hanbin’s volume, “I don’t know how else to look at you!”

“I-”

“Knock it _off,_ you two!” Yunhyeong whisper-yelled, one hand on Bobby’s shoulder and the other over Hanbin’s mating bite, lightly squeezing as the Omega went all but boneless.

Bobby lunged forward to grab him, pulling Hanbin against him as he ran his hands over a slightly trembling back.

“Bobby-ah, think about how you’d feel if you saw Hanbin getting felt up by a random Alpha,” Yunhyeong reasoned, trying not to smile as the younger Alpha visibly tensed up, “And Binnie, you need to think about how your actions have consequences, especially in public.”

Hanbin whined, whispering out a soft, _“Sorry,”_ against Bobby’s neck.

“Me too, Hanbin-ah.”

“Love you?”

“Love you.”

 

* * *

 

“So, you’re saying Hanbin has to get fingered every night as a doctor’s order?” Junhoe laughed, looking more relaxed than Hanbin had seen him in days.

“Yah! Why are you suddenly calling Dognhyukkie ‘hyung’ but not me?” Hanbin complained, climbing onto Junhoe’s lap to play wrestle him, quickly pinning the Alpha’s wrists against the back of the couch.

They had just got back from the pharmacy, picking up Hanbin’s prescription for a new birth control and lunch before heading back to the dorms, texting about a pack meeting in the downstairs one.

The messages had gone unanswered, however, and the three of them had gone home to find all three of the maknaes crashed in Donghyuk’s room.

Hanbin had woken them up by flopping across the three of them, alternating between tickling and playfully nipping at any and all exposed skin before both Bobby and Yunhyeong joined, somehow turning into a Hyung vs. Maknae wrestling match.

They had calmed fairly quickly, the idea of food too enticing to ignore and wanting to be filled in on the doctor’s appointment.

Hanbin had let Yunhyeong deal with both of those matters, instead crawling all over the maknaes as he forced Bobby to shower the _honeydew_ away.

Junhoe quickly broke his hold, him and Donghyuk ganging up on the Omega to pin his arms behind his back, held firmly in the dancer’s hands as Junhoe started tickling the leader, large hands prodding at his waist.

“Ow,” Hanbin winced, “Careful.”

He was still a bit sore, cramping coming back even worse than before, especially after having the brief relief from earlier.

“What’s wrong?” Chanwoo asked, just as Donghyuk let go of Hanbin’s wrists.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” Hanbin tried to give them a smile, quickly failing as it turned into a grimace, “Just a little achy.”

“You wanna-?” Junhoe’s fingers lightly pushed above Hanbin’s hipbones, making the Omega still above him.

Hanbin let out a small whimper as Junhoe continued to knead his waist.

He went almost limp, making Donghyuk and Junhoe work together to turn him around, settling him between the Alpha’s spread thighs, leaning against a solid chest.

With each gentle press, Hanbin felt the cramping get worse, scrunching his face up in pain as he waited for the relief.

“Might wanna get a towel,” Chanwoo snickered behind his hand.

Yunhyeong took the joking comment to heart, rushing out of the room to retrieve one as the three maknaes snickered at him.

The Pack Alpha came back into the living room bearing a towel and a pair of shorts-

“Hey! Those are mine,” Donghyuk pouted, “But I guess Hanbinnie-hyung can wear them.”

Hanbin wanted to smack the Beta for his greasy cooing, but didn’t quite get the chance as Junhoe hit a particularly bad spot, the rapper letting out a low whine as the ache got steadily better.

He was too annoyed to actually help Yunhyeong, so he made the Pack Alpha do all the work as he stripped his track pants off, eventually giving up on the shorts when Hanbin refused to move his legs.

“Fine, but you’re sitting on the towel,” Yunhyeong argued, “I don’t need Jinhwan-hyung bitching me out for ruining another couch.”

He regretted mentioning the eldest almost immediately after saying it, Hanbin letting out a quiet whimper as Junhoe looked away, even Donghyuk and Chanwoo going silent.

Yunhyeong was just about to open his mouth when Bobby chose that room to bound in, jumping on Donghyuk and Chanwoo and shaking his dripping wet hair over the pair of Betas.

He was sure the younger Alpha had heard what Yunhyeong had said, purposefully choosing now to slide in and attempt to diffuse the situation.

Plus, Yunhyeong was pretty sure he had seen Bobby peek around the corner, watching Hanbin with Junhoe.

He wasn’t being too obvious with the fleeting glances, but every so often Hanbin would let out a little moan, Bobby tensing up each time before going back to rough-housing with the two Betas.

Meanwhile, Hanbin was in ecstasy.

Sure, the slick that was steadily leaking out was really fucking bothersome, and he could tell how on-edge it was putting Bobby, but it was far too easy to lose himself to the rhythmic press of Junhoe’s fingers.

The youngest Alpha was leaned back against the corner of the section, Hanbin still lying between his legs as Junhoe’s hands danced along his stomach.

Even without the _Pure Heat_ gel, which Junhoe was too grossed out by to use, the feeling was fucking phenomenal.

Honestly, Hanbin didn’t really mind the idea of having this done every night.

In fact, that sounded like a fucking _dream._

 

* * *

 

**_Yo-yo 🌰☕_ **

_Hyung??_

_When are you coming back?_

_We all miss you_

_June misses you_

_Just promise me you’ll stay safe_

_We love you_

 

**_Jinhwan 🍋🍋_ **

_im ok_

_sorry_

 

* * *

 

“June-ya, can I stay with you tonight?”

Junhoe’s hands stilled at Hanbin’s quiet murmur, “I guess?”

Hanbin let out an airy laugh, the sound putting a smile on the younger’s face as well.

Junhoe loved the way Hanbin looked, sitting on his lap with a soft smile on his face, soft, blue eyes glazed over and scent _content._

Hanbin whined at him softly, making Junhoe peer down at him in confusion before he understood why.

Going back to the gentle kneading, the Alpha smiled again when Hanbin practically started purring in his arms, even making Bobby’s not-so-subtle side-eyeing soften.

Junhoe was slightly proud of the older Alpha, not that he’d ever admit it, that he was adjusting to everything so fast.

He knew that seeing Hanbin with him put Bobby on edge, that much was obvious, but the rapper was getting used to the sight.

“Ju-ne?”

“Hm?”

Hanbin let out another quiet whine, _“More.”_

Unable to stop his quiet chuckle, Junhoe pressed down slightly harder as the Omega whined yet again.

Hanbin’s scent had been getting steadily sweeter since Junhoe had started his impromptu massage, the towel underneath him catching his slick, the smell filling the room and causing more than a few boners.

Junhoe cleared his throat, “We’re gonna…go. Yeah.”

Ignoring several pairs of envious eyes, Junhoe pulled Hanbin against him, lifting the smaller male up and not bothering to bring the towel.

It was soaked anyway, might as well just get a new one.

He laid Hanbin down on the bed as he went to grab one, not wanting to have to change his sheets that night.

On second thought…He grabbed another.

By the time he was back in the room, Hanbin’s sweater and underwear were already off, the Omega curled up in one of the hoodies he had lying over his desk chair, slick shining on the backs of his thighs.

“I was literally gone for a few seconds,” Junhoe laughed out, shutting the door behind him.

He took another few seconds to place the folded up towel in the center of his bed, lying a small pillow just above it before settling below them.

“Hanbin-ah, come here~”

“I’m gonna ignore that-” Hanbin grumbled, pausing to push himself up on shaky arms, _“Just_ because you’ve been abnormally nice to me all afternoon.”

Junhoe felt his smile slip a bit before he could stop it, grinning even wider, “I’m always nice to you.”

Hanbin paused, frowning up at him before crawling over to sit himself in front of the Alpha, “You aren’t, but you’re always real with me.”

“Real?”

The rapper hummed, “Honest. Straightforward. I appreciate it.”

Junhoe reached out to run his fingers along Hanbin’s cheek, “Well…If I’m being honest, you look really good in my clothes.”

Hanbin blushed lightly, wanting to hide his face but instead, he kept his eyes locked with Junhoe’s.

Almost like he was trying to out-compliment the younger, “Your voice is one of the most incredible things. You add such a unique tone to our songs.”

“Your songs,” Junhoe surged forward, catching Hanbin off-guard with a gentle kiss, “Your songs are already amazing.”

The Alpha had never kissed him before, and it was safe to say that Hanbin was slightly taken aback, but he quickly responded.

“Your poems have improved so much,” Hanbin whispered against Junhoe’s lips, not wanting to lose their compliment-war, but not wanting to separate, “And you’ve gotten so good with the guitar.”

Junhoe _preened,_ body going warm as Hanbin kissed along his neck.

“And what about you, Mister Songwriter of the Year?” Junhoe teased back, even as his voice turned soft, “You deserved it, you deserve so much. Thank you.”

 _God,_ if Junhoe thought Hanbin praising him was hot, then seeing Hanbin’s reaction to receiving it was so much better.

He gently pushed Hanbin onto the bed, making sure the pillow was sat below his lower back as the Omega arched up, “Do something,” he whimpered, “Anything.”

“Anything?” Junhoe responded, smirking as he trailed his finger through the slick coating Hanbin’s inner thighs.

He pulled his hand back and up to his mouth, licking the slick off before groaning.

If he thought Hanbin smelled amazing, the taste was so much better, even more than Chanwoo had described.

“Juuuuuune,” Hanbin whined as he wrapped his legs around the younger’s waist, “Fucking _touch_ me.”

“I am touching you.”

Hanbin sent him a glare before grabbing the singer’s hands, placing them just below the hem of the stolen hoodie, over his hipbones as he arched up into the touch, “Don’t tease,” he grumbled.

Deciding to _not_ listen, Junhoe grinned as he pressed his fingers in the tender areas, wanting to hear every low groan and cut-off whimper.

He wanted confirmation that Hanbin was enjoying every single touch.

“Mmmmm, _fuck,”_ Hanbin groaned, “Touch my dick, you fuckface.”

“What was that?” Junhoe cheekily responded, “You want me to fuck your face?”

Truthfully, Junhoe wanted to see how long he could tease the leader before he snapped, see just how far Hanbin was willing to banter with him.

But Hanbin knew exactly what Junhoe was trying to do, and he wasn’t afraid to fight dirty.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before drawing them half-open, peering down at Junhoe, _“Alpha, please.”_

The response was incredibly satisfying.

Junhoe’s eyes darkened a shade as crimson started to bleed in, teeth clenched as he tried not to growl at Hanbin.

“Please, _please, Alpha.”_

Suddenly, Hanbin was roughly turned over, the air being knocked out of his lungs as he was pressed face first into the sheets. He barely had any time to even _think_ before Junhoe’s hands were gripping his waist, far too gentle in how he pulled Hanbin down the bed by his hips, folding his legs under to expose his hole.

Hanbin spluttered into the pillow that was now under his face, trying to remember how to breathe but then Junhoe’s tongue was in his fucking _ass_ and why didn’t anyone ever _warn him_ before doing that?

“A-Ah- June-”

He couldn’t see the Alpha’s smirk, but he could practically _feel_ it. The fingers of one hand continued to kneed at Hanbin’s waist, while they other slowly trailed along heated skin.

Junhoe was, in fact, smirking at how quickly he got Hanbin flustered, the rapper not able to even speak, just letting out soft _‘Ah-’_ s with every swipe of his tongue.

Pushing the tip of his finger alongside his tongue, Junhoe prodded at Hanbin’s rim until the Omega gave him a whiny growl, pushing back against it.

“C’mon, do _somethiiiing,”_ Hanbin whined as Junhoe pulled back, wiping the slick away from his mouth before tugging his now soiled shirt off.

He pressed his fingers against Hanbin’s perineum, “Beg.”

That one word pulled another growl from Hanbin.

“No.”

The Omega’s resistance only spurred Junhoe on. He pressed against the sensitive skin, smirking as Hanbin sucked in a harsh breath, “Beg,” he said again, making sure to keep any trace of a command out of his words.

He wanted to win.

 

But the problem was, so did Hanbin.

And Hanbin had never been one to back down from a challenge.

So, again, he was gonna play even dirtier.

He flipped back around, catching Junhoe off guard as he switched their positions and pushed the Alpha back on the bed.

Junhoe’s head landed just next to the slick covered towel, keeping his head hazy as Hanbin climbed over him.

“No. You beg.”

The next thing Junhoe knew, he was naked and his neck was being bitten by a horny Omega.

“H-Hyung,” he stuttered, hands catching Hanbin’s hips under the fabric of his hoodie, “Wha-”

“My turn to be in control, Ju-ne.”

Lips clashed in a bruising kiss, Hanbin’s hands threading through Junhoe’s hair as the Alpha whined at him.

Hanbin pulled back, but just enough to mouth at the corner of Junhoe’s jaw, “Well? I’m waiting,” he said, voice low and raspy and suddenly Junhoe forgot about their little ‘game’.

 _“Fuck,_ Hanbin.”

“That’s kinda the aim, dude.”

And then the moment was lost, both Hanbin and Junhoe laughing at the situation before the younger was cut-off by a groan.

“You fucking play dirty,” he complained as Hanbin’s warm fingers wrapped around the base of his cock.

Hanbin hummed, “I know, but you make it easy.”

He then proceeded to lift himself up, line up with Junhoe’s cock, and then sank down.

Now it was Junhoe’s turn to forget to breathe.

 

“C’mon, man,” Hanbin groaned after a few seconds had gone by, “Don’t make me do all the work.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON TWITTER AND CC WANTED JUNDONG SMUT IM SORRY ITS BAD I CANT WRITE IM SORRY
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave me comments, even to insult me


	15. I see a sadness like you've lost the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you say that and leave, you think I’ll be fine?  
> Stop pretending to be calm,  
> there are tears in your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Airplane - iKON
> 
> Waaaaa hi hi hi  
> I'm really sorry for such a long delay, and i'm about to be even more sorry aha
> 
> I'm gonna post the first part of this chapter now, check back in a couple days and i'll have the second part up i promise!!
> 
> I recommend rereading this, or at least skimming, because there is a little thing i added back in.
> 
> Most of yall probably dont remember, but i had a thing with eye color for a very brief amount of time before i deleted it, well i decided to add it back in because its my fic and i felt like it lololol
> 
> basically, alpha's eyes go red, omega's go blue. that's it, that's the tweet.

“Kim Jiwon?” 

“Y-Yeah?”

Bobby’s head lifted up to meet the eyes of a young nurse, wincing slightly at the _pins and needles_ feeling in his legs. 

“It’s your turn,” she giggled as Bobby scrambled to right himself, “If you’d just follow me~”

He followed the petit, Alpha nurse through the halls, the trip taking only a few seconds before she stopped in front of a half-open door. 

A familiar door.

He knocked.

“Uh, Dr. Novak?”

Bobby poked his head inside, glancing at where he knew the woman’s desk to be located before bowing as he made his way in.

“Oh my, if it isn’t our favorite bodyguard?” The doctor smiled, taking in the sight of the Alpha’s somewhat demure entrance, “What brings you here?”

Her confusion was warranted, Bobby supposed. He had made the appointment under his legal name, rather than his street name.

“You know why I’m here,” he huffed as he took a seat in the plush chair in front of the desk.

Dr. Novak let out a soft chuckle, “Yes, and I’ll admit I was a bit taken aback by an Alpha scheduling a solo appointment at a clinic that specializes in Omega-healthcare.”

“I know you,” Bobby shrugged, “Makes handling confidentiality easier.”

“I suppose that’s a valid point. How is Hanbin, if you don’t mind me asking?”

At the mere mention of his Omega, Bobby felt a smile split his face, “He’s doing a bit better, still feeling sick in the mornings, but he’s not throwing up as much. I think the diet you recommended to Yunhyeong-hyung is really helping…”

He trailed off slightly at the end, slightly embarrassed at the love-sick tone of his own voice. 

“And how are you?”

“I’m okay, just a little nervous, yenno?”

Bobby was more comfortable acknowledging Hanbin as his Omega than he thought he’d be, made only more obvious at the way Hanbin’s eyes _literally_ glowed because of him.

From what Bobby had read, an Omega’s eyes going gold was a sign of a _fated-pair,_ like Minho was to Seungyoon. 

Usually, it took until the pair mated before that would happen. Bobby would have to ask about that.

“So,” Dr. Novak started, pulling Bobby out of his thoughts, “Shall we get started?”

Bobby nodded, “Yeah. That’d be good.”

It was early, but he wanted to get back as soon as possible.

“Okay. We’re just going to run through a few tests to make sure you’re all good. No symptoms, though, correct?”

“Nothing as far as I know,” Bobby shook his head, “But I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’ve never…done anything without protection, but I’ve still gotten around a bit,” he admitted sheepishly.

If he was going to do anything with Hanbin, he wasn’t going to put him at risk of getting sick. Not Hanbin, never Hanbin.

“We’ll start out first,” a cup was placed on the table, “With this.”

Bobby picked it up, “I’m guessing you want me to piss in this?”

“If you would.”

-

“First, did you wash your hands?”

Bobby choked slightly, “Of course!”

Dr. Novak chuckled, “I’m just pulling your leg. Now, the results of the urine test will only take a few days, and I’ll be giving you a phone call. That will check off any possibility of chlamydia or gonorrhea. We’ll run a blood test now to check for HIV, herpes, and syphilis. Those results should be in around the same time, so you’ll most likely only be getting one call.”

The blood test was fairly painless, barely anything more than a prick of the finger.

“I…” Bobby started, shifting slightly in his spot, “I want to apologize for the first time we met. I- I was kind of a dick.”

Bobby did feel apologetic about how he had acted towards the doctor. He was rash and defensive, tensing up every time she so much as _touched_ Hanbin.

“It was understandable,” Dr. Novak chuckled, “It’s refreshing, actually, seeing you with him. It’s obvious how much you care about him, and it’s obvious how much Hanbin adores you.”

Thinking back to how Hanbin had described the strange _calm_ he felt around the doctor, Bobby decided to dig a little deeper.

“You seem very…familiar of Hanbin?”

The question visibly surprised Dr. Novak, but she quickly recovered, “I suppose it’s natural that Hanbin wouldn’t remember me, considering the lack of scent, but I consider his mother and I very close friends.”

Now the shock must have been painting Bobby’s face, the women giving him another chuckle before continuing.

“We met in college, when I came over as an exchange student. She ended up transferring around the time she got pregnant with Hanbin. I went back to Germany a few weeks later, until I graduated and returned to work in South Korea,” she explained, “I assisted with her second pregnancy, Hanbin happened to tag along frequently.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t said anything?” Bobby asked.

“Just want to see how long it takes him to figure it out.”

Bobby snorted, “He’s a little dense…But, then again, it took me almost five years and a lot of yelling to realize how he felt about me.”

There the smile was again, Bobby literally couldn’t keep it off his face when he thought about the younger, when he thought about what they were, about what they were going to be.

“Is…How do I know what to do? With the courting, and mating, and-” Bobby paused, “And helping with his heats? I don’t know how to take care of an Omega.”

“Hanbin is an adult, and a more than capable one, at that. You don’t have to take care of him, necessarily, but take care of each other. He’s a headstrong one, and it will take time for him to feel at ease with his dynamic and position in your pack. He’s just as new to this as you are.”

-

It was still early when Bobby arrived back at the dorms, arms laden with plastic bags and teeth chattering. The sun was still in the early stages of rising and there was a heavy chill in the air.

Bobby was thankful to see the door of their dorm building directly in front of him, his fingers dangerously close to feeling like they were going to fall off.

He practically flew up the stairs, only stopping when he had to wrangle his keys out to unlock the door before heading it to kick his shoes off.

The bags were noisy as hell, but Bobby was thankful that Junhoe’s snoring was loud enough to cover the plastic.

He knew Donghyuk had stayed with Chanwoo last night, and Hanbin was with Junhoe again.

The youngest Alpha had been quiet and sullen since news of Jinhwan leaving had been spilled on Friday. Hanbin had been practically glued to the taller male in the days following.

The insecurity was obvious in both of them, but Bobby was happy that both of them could find some solace with each other.

Bobby didn’t waste any more time before struggling to open the door to his room, still trying to be silent to avoid disturbing their resident noise polluter.

He wanted nothing more than to set these damn bags down and flop into his bed to sleep for another 2 hours before he would be woken up by Donghyuk bounding into his room demanding to do something.

Door shut, bags set down, pants halfway off-

“Bobby?”

“Jesus!” Bobby startled, back slamming against the wood of his closet while his jeans remained bunched at his ankles. 

He wasn’t exactly expecting a heart attack when it wasn’t even 6 in the morning, but life seemed to be throwing him plenty of curveballs recently. 

“Hanbin-ah? What are you-?”

Warm fingers gripped his wrist and _yanked,_ pulling Bobby down onto the bed so quickly that he barely had time to kick off his jeans, ending up sprawled out over the younger male.

Bobby, thankfully, caught himself before he completely crushed the Omega, but Hanbin disregarded his efforts, once again pulling Bobby to be pressed against him.

A sharp breath was sucked in, blown out as a shaky exhale, “Just…Just, _please-”_ Hanbin cut himself off, face shoved against the elder’s chest, “Stay here.”

The tremors that were running through Hanbin were reverberating through Bobby’s own body, and that’s when Bobby realized his mistake.

“Hey, Hanbin-ah.” Bobby murmured, “I’m not gonna leave, but let me move us, okay?”

Hanbin gave him a quiet affirmation, not pulling away from Bobby but losing a bit of the tension in his body to let the Alpha roll them onto their sides. He guided Hanbin’s head to be tucked under his chin, and they both relaxed at the familiarity of the position.

“You feeling less nauseous?” Bobby asked.

Hanbin was surprised that Bobby guessed that, but he supposed it followed the pattern for the last several days, “A bit.” He still felt sick, but not nearly as bad as before Bobby had come back.

“Why aren’t you with one of the other Alphas, Bin-ah? Yunhyeonggie-hyung and June could’ve helped.”

“I didn’t wanna bother them,” Hanbin softly admitted.

He had spent the past few nights, including last night, with Junhoe, him and the youngest Alpha finding comfort in their shared insecurities.

Except Junhoe was finally sleeping, and Hanbin felt sorry for always making Yunhyeong take care of him.

He just wanted a bit of time to himself, but had somehow ended up in Bobby’s room just to check on the Alpha before heading back to his room.

So when he found the room empty, and then the rest of the dorm, it had taken everything in him not to immediately go to Yunhyeong, but Hanbin wasn’t able to resist the need to surround himself with the Alpha’s scent.

“So you decided to smell up my bed?” Bobby joked, but Hanbin immediately stiffened in his arms before attempting to pull away, making Bobby tug him back, “I’m just kidding, Bin. I’m just kidding. You don’t have to leave.”

Hanbin squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden movement, feeling his chest tighten and stomach roll as he just tried to _breathe_ through it. 

“Stay here,” Bobby scrambled to sit up against his pillows as he held Hanbin against he chest, running a firm, but gentle, hand over the younger rapper’s front before resting on his hip, “I’m sorry I left.”

“It’s okay,” Hanbin melted back against the Alpha, “Just please tell someone next time.”

 _Yeah,_ just like Bobby realized earlier. Trying to slip out unannounced when he had an Omega with separation anxiety was practically impossible, as well as just a really fucking bad idea.

Thinking back on it, Bobby was surprised that Hanbin wasn’t more upset, especially considering Bobby’s track record.

“I was actually planning on finding you,” _After Bobby slept for another few hours,_ “I got you some stuff.”

Hanbin raised an inquisitive eyebrow, prompting Bobby to attempt to reach the bag he had dropped on the floor while also not leaving the bed.

When his fingers finally snagged the handle, Hanbin just barely caught him from landing face-first on the floor, helping to pull him back up.

“Thanks,” Bobby snorted while digging through the bag, “I don’t know if these will help much- Did I not grab them? Oh! Yeah, these,” he pulled out a small, orange box, opening the top to pull out something vaguely bandaid-like, about the size of his palm.

Hanbin leaned against his side, grabbing the box to read the front, “Cramp patches?”

“Yeah! I figured that they’d be worth a shot, plus they’re from the same company as the heat gel you like,” Bobby said while rubbing the batch between his palms to warm it up, “The adhesive is meant to be stuck against the front of your underwear and it, like, heats up? Here-”

Bobby turned towards Hanbin as he peeled off the plastic on the back, one hand gently pushing the younger to be lying back against the pillows before pausing, “Is this okay?” He asked, waiting for Hanbin’s nod before lightly trailing his fingers along the waistband of the Omega’s boxers.

Less uncomfortable than he thought he’d be, aided by the lack of light in the room, Bobby lifted the elastic up before adhering the patch to the inside of the fabric.

“That’s-” Hanbin paused when Bobby’s hand pressed overtop the cramp patch, lightly rubbing to help speed up the increasing temperature, “That’s actually helping. What made you pick these up?”

Bobby didn’t stop the gentle petting, “You’ve been dealing with the cramping a lot, and you’re not always going to be able to have one of us right there, so I figured now would be a good time to test what works, as long as it’s not putting you at risk. Speaking of- The patches should last about 8 hours, and it says you shouldn’t wear them longer than that, so maybe save them for when you know we wouldn’t be able to help, like interviews and shit.”

“I like them,” Hanbin mumbled as he rolled onto his side, tugging at Bobby’s hand until the Alpha laid down behind him.

“They also have them for your back and neck,” Bobby mentioned, “But I figured we should just try one for now. And they have a bunch of different scents on their website online-”

“Do they have ones that smell like you guys?”

Bobby thought back to what he had seen on the _Pure Heat_ website, “There was a _honey,_ a _ginger-apple, eucalyptus,_ and one other I can’t remember. Maybe _dark chocolate?”_

“Can we get some of those for my next heat?”

“Course, Bin.”

 

Hanbin wasn’t sure how long they had been dozing off for, but it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes before he was startled awake, wincing in pain as Bobby immediately pushed himself up.

“What’s wrong? Is the patch too hot? It had a warning about burns but I figured that was just a legality-”

“Bobby,” Hanbin cut off the Alpha’s rambling, “The patch is fine. Your hand was just pressing against my chest.”

“Does it hurt?” Bobby asked, gesturing to Hanbin’s front, “Your…yenno.”

“If you mean my nipples, yeah. Kind of.”

“Right,” Bobby mumbled, this time not struggling nearly as much to reach the bag beside the bed, pulling out a tube.

Hanbin started laughing, “I’m guessing that’s nipple cream?”

Bobby’s blush only confirmed it.

The fact that the Alpha had thought about that didn’t surprise Hanbin as much anymore. He was starting to realize that Bobby was pretty observant with his health, and the thought of that made his stomach feel all warm and tingly.

That also could have been due to the heat patch, but Hanbin was sort-of a hopeless romantic.

“So do you want to try it or not?” Bobby asked, eyes locking with Hanbin’s in a semi-uncomfortable, semi-arousing staring contest.

Hanbin was the first to break it by stripping off his shirt as he waited for the older rapper to make the next move. 

But Bobby stayed sat back as he stared wide-eyed at Hanbin under him. It wasn’t the first time he had seen Hanbin shirtless, not even recently, but somehow having the younger practically spread out in front of him took his breath away. 

The Alpha’s mouth was hanging open, and Hanbin couldn’t help the way he turned self-conscious as he tried to yank his shirt back on. 

He wasn’t quite able to get that far before Bobby’s hands clamped over his wrists, halting the action, “Stop that,” Bobby mumbled, “Why do you do that?”

Hanbin used to be so confident in his body, had worked so hard (too hard) to stay in shape, but this wasn’t the first time Bobby had seen him shy away. 

A few months ago, back when they were in Australia, Hanbin had been hesitant to lift his shirt up because he didn’t have abs anymore. 

That was probably around the time his suppressants started failing. 

“Hanbin-ah…You don’t have to be ashamed…”

The Omega’s head was angled down, eyes not meeting Bobby’s, so the older rapper tilted his chin up with a gentle hand, forcing their gazes to lock. 

“...Your eyes are gold,” Bobby mumbled, taking note of the honey glow in the barely lit room. 

“W-What?”

“Your eyes. They’re gold again.”

Bobby surged forward, catching Hanbin off guard with a gentle kiss.

Kissing Hanbin was still new, no matter how many times Bobby did it, and he hoped it stayed that way.

He loved the shock of it, he loved the thrill, even if it stayed slow, gentle, like now.

Hanbin had one hand fisted in the front of Bobby’s shirt, the other tangled in Bobby’s hair as his mouth parted slightly when the Alpha’s tongue swiped at his lower lip. 

Running his hand up from Hanbin’s chest to his jaw, Bobby smoothed his knuckles along soft skin before his own curled in the younger’s hair. Hanbin _melted_ under him as Bobby gently carded his fingers through the soft strands, and he knew without opening his eyes that Hanbin had the stupid, _adorable_ look on his face that he had any time Bobby touched him.

Bobby loved exploring Hanbin like this, taking his time to take apart every one of Hanbin’s walls until the Omega was quiet and pliant and _happy._

“You’re beautiful,” Bobby pulled back just enough to whisper the words against the corner of Hanbin’s lips, pressing another kiss there before trailing them along his jaw, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

 _“Hyung,”_ Hanbin whined, not able to stop the shy smile from splitting his face, “You’re-”

“-Right. I’m right,” Bobby giggled, kissing just under Hanbin’s ear as the younger tilted his head to the side, completely exposing his neck for the Alpha, “I wanna make you feel good, Bin. Can I do that? Can I do that for you?”

Another whine, this one longer, _higher,_ at the low rasp in Bobby’s voice. It was at war with the way Bobby was grinning down at him, so soft.

Bobby wanted to take his time to learn all of the things that made Hanbin melt. Things like the little sounds Hanbin made when you played with his hair, especially him and Chanwoo. 

 _God,_ Hanbin loved having his hair played with by those two.

It probably had something to do with the size of their hands, the way their fingers threaded through his hair, pushing it back and softly scratching at his scalp as their palms rested on his forehead.

Bobby’s fingers traveled down, down over his temple, running along the sharp bones of Hanbin’s cheeks before tracing a half-moon under his eye, skimming the side of his nose before cupping Hanbin’s jaw.

Hanbin let out a little whine every time Bobby tried to pull back, arms positioned to cover as much of himself as possible.

“Do you trust me?” Bobby asked.

“Always.”

 _Slowly,_ Bobby went back to Hanbin’s neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses all along the heated skin. 

 _“Ah,”_ Hanbin gasped. Each press of the Alpha’s lips had him dropping his arms, relaxing under the elder.

He wanted more.

“You- Will you-?”

Hanbin didn’t clarify any more than that, just tilted his head back a little farther in the hopes that Bobby would understand like he always did.

Voice slightly shocked, “You want me to leave a mark?” Bobby questioned, waiting for Hanbin’s nod that followed.

Marks left between bonded pack members was a normal occurrence, just shown less among idols. Scandals didn’t start unless there was reason to believe a mark came from someone outside of a pack.

Hell, a lot of companies capitalized on it, turning mating bites into the focus of a photoshoot.

Bobby’s own neck had just barely recovered from the attack Hanbin had waged against it those days ago, bruises almost faded to barely-seen discoloration.

He could visibly see Hanbin getting restless from his staring, the younger attempting to mold himself completely against Bobby, pulling the Alpha as close as possible.

The position left little to the imagination (and Bobby’s imagined it _a lot),_ Hanbin’s body flush against his, pouting and fidgeting against the sheets.

_Bobby’s sheets._

“C’mon,” Hanbin whined, “Do somethiiiing.”

_Do something._

It was just a hickey. Bobby has left plenty of hickeys on plenty of people. Has even left a bite mark on Hanbin. It was just a hickey.

But it wasn’t _just a hickey._ Never to Hanbin, and no longer true for Bobby, either. It wasn’t just a hickey, it was a reminder.

A reminder that Hanbin was his, and he was Hanbin’s.

Bobby was barely holding himself up at that point, so he let himself drop, covering Hanbin’s body with his own as he just pressed his lips against the claiming bite, swiping his tongue over the ridges dug into Hanbin’s skin.

Hanbin was pumping out _content_ pheromones like crazy, any lingering anxiety gone from both of their bodies as the room took on a sweet, _smoky-cinnamon._  

“Alpha- My Alpha,” Hanbin murmured, hands sliding under Bobby’s shirt to run over the defined muscles just as he slowly bit down. 

One day, one day Bobby would just _know_ the exact amount of pressure to apply, and which spots would drive him the craziest, but for right now he was content to learn.

Soft thighs parted even farther on either side of Bobby’s waist, hooking up and around as Hanbin pushed his hips up, making Bobby gasp at the friction.

“H-Hanbin, _fuck.”_  

A few more teasing nips were placed against Hanbin’s throat before Bobby took the skin between his teeth, sucking and biting in earnest as the younger continued to rock against him.

Before Bobby could even think about it, there was already a trail of bruises mapping the column of Hanbin’s throat, over his collarbones, until he was left a panting mess under him.

Hanbin whined as Bobby pulled back, lips feeling just as bruised and swollen as the leader’s neck looked.

“I’m hard now,” Hanbin pouted, yanking at Bobby’s shirt until the Alpha pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

Surprisingly, there was no spluttering on Bobby’s end, just a heavy whispered, “I can help you with that,” before he was back to mouthing at sharp collarbones.

 _“Lower,”_ Hanbin‘s voice was wrecked, raspy and lacking it’s usual high-pitch in situations like this.

Bobby couldn’t do anything other than comply.

He lowered himself down once again, this time able to feel Hanbin’s erection pressed against his hip as he licked just below the line of the Omega’s chest.

“Love your body,” he whispered, making Hanbin’s back arch up, pressing even closer to Bobby.

Hanbin let out a quiet _huff,_ “Even now?”

_That it’s different._

“You’re still the same person, still my Hanbinnie. Still the same loser I fell in love with without even realizing it,” Bobby responded, “I’ve always admired you, your passion.” He took a moment to circle Hanbin’s nipple with his tongue, shocking a loud moan from the younger. “I’ve always loved your waist,” he continued, one hand pressed between their bodies to knead at the sensitive area, “And your legs. Do you know how many boners I’ve gotten on stage because of you and that damn vinyl dress?”

Each word was whispered against a heaving chest, Bobby’s hot breath ghosting against Hanbin’s even hotter skin. Hanbin could feel the slick pooling under him, would have to apologize to Bobby for that later, but right then he was content to lose himself to the words and the press of Bobby’s fingers over the heat patch.

“If you don’t fucking _touch_ me-”

Bobby didn’t give him a chance to finish before the words were caught in his throat, being replaced by a high _keening_ sound as the scent in the air turned even sweeter when the Alpha took the hard nub in between his teeth, rolling his tongue over it before lifting up to bite at Hanbin’s neck again.

“But my favorite,” Bobby started, “Has always been your neck.”

One more bite.

“Ah- _Ahhh!_ Hyung!”

Hanbin came with an actual shout, fingers clawing down the length of Bobby’s back as the Alpha shuddered above him, “Jesus, Bin,” he panted, rocking his hips against the younger’s thigh in an attempt to get himself off.

A warm hand reached down to palm his length through his boxers just as Bobby’s eyes slipped shut, bucking against the fingers until Hanbin _squeezed,_ leaving Bobby gasping as he dropped his forehead against the other’s neck.

 

It wasn’t until a few minutes later, filled with heavy breaths as they both came down from their highs, that Hanbin spoke.

“Well now I’m sticky _and_ my nipples still hurt,” he complained, once again pouting as he carded his fingers through Bobby’s hair.

The Alpha gave him a sleepy grunt before lifting up slightly, pressing one last kiss against Hanbin’s stomach as he sat back on his heels.

It was a comfortable silence between them as Bobby rubbed the cream in, taking extra care of the right side after he had left it red and swollen.

Hanbin batted his hand away after a few minutes, “Stop or I’ll get hard again,” he mumbled, “I’m tired.”

Several minutes later found them under the covers, top sheet stripped off, as Bobby laid there, one arm slung over Hanbin’s waist to trace circles over his stomach.

Even though Bobby had been dead tired when he got back, he was content to stay up a little bit longer, just listening to Hanbin’s quiet breathing as he dozed off.

“‘yung?”

“Hmm?”

“Love you?”

“Yeah, Bin-ah,” Bobby smiled, “Love you.”

 

-

 

“Bab?” Hanbin sleepily mumbled, unsure as to what had woken him up.

_“Stop being so fucking childish!”_

That was a voice Hanbin hadn’t heard in almost a week.

_“That’s funny coming from you!”_

The was one of his maknaes. _His_ maknae. That was Junhoe, and he sounded upset.

He didn’t even bother throwing his shirt back on before scrambling out of the covers, elbowing Bobby awake in his need to _get to Junhoe._

“Wha’ tha- Hanbin?” Bobby tried to grab Hanbin’s wrist as the Omega vaulted out of the bed, “Wait!”

Hanbin didn’t even hear him, the only thought running through his mind was _JunhoeJunhoeJunhoe._  

He flung the door to the Alpha’s room open, immediately getting smacked in the face with several potent scents.

They weren’t ones he was particularly familiar with, not quite able to place their distinct reasons but still feeling his heart race and skin crawl at the thought of his pack not being _happy_ or _safe._

The screaming only got louder, and Hanbin skidded into the living room, just barely avoiding the wall, to find both Junhoe and Jinhwan arguing.

He wasn’t focused on their words anymore, couldn’t focus on them when _Jinhwan was back._ Jinhwan was screaming and Junhoe was _crying_ and Hanbin couldn’t _hear._

Jinhwan’s bags were thrown at the door, obvious that he hadn’t made it very far before being confronted by Junhoe.

Junhoe, his maknae Alpha, who was _crying and why was Junhoe crying?_

The tallest male was covered in _anxiousness_ and _distress,_ but Jinhwan had something _darker._

Hanbin could barely breathe around the _anger_ pouring off of Jinhwan, the emotions coming from the Beta were suffocating him. Junhoe was _sobbing_ and Jinhwan was still _screaming_ and Hanbin couldn’t fucking _think._

Betas weren’t _meant_ to be angry. Betas were the _calm_ in the pack, the negative emotions they put out hit in a different way than an Alpha’s. It made Hanbin feel _wrong,_ unsafe in a different way then he’s ever felt before.

Needing to comfort his pack was his first priority, Hanbin rushed over to Junhoe to try and _soothe,_ but as soon as he was close enough to touch, a low growl sounded across the room.

The noise had broken through the haze, leaving Hanbin frozen in place.

“Jinhwan, calm the fuck down,” Bobby tried to placate the still snarling Beta, having run into the room after, “You know,” he said, gesturing to both Hanbin and Junhoe.

“For once this isn’t about him,” Jinhwan turned towards Hanbin, making the Omega tense up, ”So just _fuck off.”_

Hanbin was shocked out of his stupor by the _emotion_ in Jinhwan’s voice, pulling a low growl out as he saw Junhoe flinch back.

“Hanbin- _Hanbin,”_ Bobby urged, “Let’s go get Yunhyeong-hyung, okay?” He tried to pull Hanbin towards the door, but the younger rapper was fighting against him as he tried to get to Junhoe.

Bobby’s first priority was to get Hanbin _out._ Bobby could see the toll all of the warring pheromones were taking on his body, and Bobby needed to keep him safe.

“C’mon, they’ll be okay.” 

 

Hanbin shook his head, still struggling against the Alpha even as he was pulled out the door.

He could still hear Jinhwan and Junhoe arguing, making him try to yank himself away once more.

“Let me go, Bobby! Fucking- Let me _go.”_ Hanbin continued to thrash and struggle and yell until his voice went hoarse, Bobby never letting go of him.

“Hanbin,” the Alpha tried to soothe him, “Hanbin! Calm down, _please._ You’re gonna end up hurting yourself.”

Hanbin only shook his head. Why did no one get it? Why didn’t Bobby _understand?_

This was _his_ pack. He may not be their Alpha, he may not be an Alpha at all, but he was their leader. He was their leader and they were his pack. 

With one final push, Hanbin was able to pull away from a gob-smacked Bobby as he launched himself at the door.

His fingers wrapped around the handle, a few more seconds and the door would open. The door would open and Hanbin would be able to _stop them from hurting each other._

He was desperate. So, _so_ desperate to keep his family safe. 

They needed to be okay.

Just as he was about to yank the door open, a hand on his own halted his actions, fingers clasping around his wrist and lips pressed against his bite.

_Mate._

Yunhyeong placed a chaste kiss just under Hanbin’s ear, hand rubbing down his bare side, “Be calm, pup. Let me take care of it, let me settle them down and then we can talk, okay?”

The second eldest never exercised his Alpha-ness on Hanbin a lot, so it was always surprising when it happened. Hanbin wasn’t quite able to resist as Yunhyeong gently pulled his hand away from the door, slowly steering the Omega back towards Bobby.

He fell against the Alpha, all of the fight draining from his body as he collapsed against the elder rapper. 

“Shhhhh, you’re okay, Hanbin-ah,” Bobby whispered, pulling Hanbin into his chest as he rocked them from side-to-side, “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”

Hanbin let out a little whine, hands finding Bobby’s arms as he pulled them tighter, pressing himself as close to the Alpha as he possibly could.

He completely missed Yunhyeong entering the dorm, Donghyuk following as back-up. He didn’t even notice Chanwoo breathlessly hovering in front of him.

The cramping picked up, Hanbin hadn’t realized just how much Jinhwan and Junhoe’s pheromones had affected him until now.

He felt sick. He felt dizzy.

He whined again.

Chanwoo rushed to stand just beside Bobby, resting his shaking hands on the Omega’s face, locking their gazes before tucking the rapper’s face into his neck.

Hanbin’s chest felt tight, but Chanwoo’s hand running down his back was helping to calm his erratic breathing.

“Hanbin-hyung, please don’t cry,” Chanwoo pleaded, and Hanbin realized the maknae was right. When had he started crying?

There was a point where he heard Jinhwan yelling again, but Hanbin’s ears were ringing too much to make out the words.

He felt the shaking pick up at each angered yell, helpless pleas and whimpers falling from his lips as Bobby’s arms snaked back around his waist, caging Hanbin between his and Chanwoo’s bodies.

Everything felt fuzzy. His knees went weak, Bobby and Chanwoo the only things keeping him up anymore.

Until Yunhyeong’s bark of **_‘SIT DOWN’_ ** echoed out, Hanbin’s eyes widened before he squeezed them shut, dropping to his knees as white flashed across his vision.

All he could hear was static. His body was numb, he felt separated from it. There was no more cramping, no pain in his chest, or where his knees hit the ground. He couldn’t feel Chanwoo’s nails digging into his skin in panic, or Bobby’s arm pressing into his chest.

Everything felt disconnected, it sounded like he was underwater.

_He was dropping._

Hanbin tried to stop it, tried to move, but he couldn’t unfist his hands from Chanwoo’s shirt, having dragged the Beta to the floor with him.

 

 **_“Not you,_ ** **Hanbin-ah.** **_You’re okay.”_ **

Bobby kept whispering in Hanbin’s ear, now all three of them rocking together in the dimly lit hallway.

He swallowed, “You too, Chanwoo-yah. It’ll be okay.”

Hanbin’s breathing had slowed to that almost catatonic state, and Bobby was sure if he looked, the Omega’s eyes would be glazed over and golden.

He couldn’t let Hanbin drop. _He promised._

 **_“Come on,”_ ** Bobby murmured, **_“You’re safe. You’re safe,_ ** **Bin.** _Just breathe, don’t worry, you’re safe.”_

 

Somehow it seemed to work, Hanbin giving a weak shudder before wheezing out a cough into Chanwoo’s shoulder, “Alpha-”

“Shhhh, Binnie,” Bobby cut him off, rubbing a hand over the younger rapper’s chest, “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” 

Hanbin gave another shudder before pressing his face into Chanwoo’s neck, almost climbing into the maknae’s lap as he pulled Bobby forward with him.

The Alpha stayed pressed against his back, still whispering to both of the younger males.

And then he stopped.

Any words got stuck in his throat, Bobby almost choking in surprise as he was rendered speechless.

But Hanbin sunk back into him, practically purring as he turned into Bobby’s chest.

“Hyung, you’re- you’re doing the thing,” Chanwoo gawked, “The Alpha thing.”

 _Oh._ He was.

Had he finally figured out how to do the rumbly noise Yunhyeong always made?

Hanbin was still limp against him, the _anxiety_ slowly bleeding out of his scent as he practically melted in Bobby’s arms.

Bobby couldn’t help but grin, he had always been a little bit jealous that Yunhyeong was able to do it but he couldn’t. 

Guess all he needed was an Omega to awaken that skill.

“You sound like an alley cat trying to growl around a fish bone,” Chanwoo deadpanned, making Hanbin huff out a tiny laugh as Bobby grinned down at him.

“Neko,” Hanbin mumbled, “Mine.”

“Yeah, Bin. Yours.”

“You guys are gross,” Chanwoo grumbled, “It’s…cute…I guess.”

Hanbin gave another weak chuckle against Bobby’s collarbone, “I want a kitten, or a puppy. Can we get a puppy?” He asked, blearily blinking up at the Alpha.

His brain always felt a little scattered after coming up from a hormone plunge, he barely even remembered why he was so upset.

Especially with Bobby doing that…that _thing_ Yun-hyung always did.

Hanbin really liked it.

“You really want a puppy?” Bobby asked, voice slightly surprised, before a grin broke out on his face, “Okay, Hanbin-ah, I’ll give you a pup- A puppy. I’ll buy you a puppy.”

Bobby glanced at Chanwoo’s blank face, hoping the maknae had missed his slip up, but knowing he hadn’t. The Beta raised an eyebrow at him, until he mirrored Hanbin’s soft smile back at Bobby, even with the quieted yelling, muffled by the door separating them, still in the background.

“Pups?” Hanbin sleepily grinned, “Pups sound nice. Wan’ one someday.”

“Do they? I’ll give you one of those, too. ‘Kay, Bin-ah?”

“Mhm.”

 

Hanbin continued to doze for a few minutes, exhausted but calm as he lay in Bobby’s arms, one hand still tangled with Chanwoo’s.

It that few minutes, the yelling had all but stopped, leaving them in a tense and uncertain silence. Bobby didn’t know what to say, and neither did Chanwoo. So they stayed silent.

Silent, until Donghyuk opened the door.

The Beta’s face was stormy, paled out in the low light of the hallway as he slips out, shutting the door behind him. The look immediately disappeared, however, at the sight of the three of them curled on the floor, Hanbin caged in between.

“What happened?” He softly asked, crouching down to rest a hand on Chanwoo’s shoulders.

“Think the situation was just a lot.”

Donhyuk nodded in reply to Bobby’s answer before standing back up, helping the maknae up with him, “If you want to take him upst-”

“No!”

The three others look to the leader in shock, not expecting the small outburst after seeing him look so sirene.

Hanbin shrank back slightly under the looks, curling a bit more into Bobby’s chest, “Is Junhoe okay?”

“Junhoe’s gonna be fine,” Dongyuk assured him, careful of his word choice.

But Hanbin was nothing if not observant, even in his current state.

“What do you mean? Are they still fighting?” Hanbin moved away from the Alpha, just barely able to stand before Chanwoo had to catch him as his knees went weak again, “If they’re still fighting, then I-”

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby whispered in his ear, having jumped up just after the Omega did, “If we go in there, you have to promise to try and keep it together, okay?”

Hanbin ripped his arm out of Chanwoo’s grasp, _“Fine._ Whatever. Now, let’s go.”

He shouldered his way past Donghyuk, still shaky but even more determined to get to the rest of his pack.

Opening the door, Hanbin was once again hit with every sour scent that had been building before. Junhoe’s _distress_ thankfully had calmed slightly, but the _angerbetrayalhurt_ was still rolling off Jinhwan in waves. 

Yunhyeong rushed over to them, panting slightly from the arguing and not quite as calm as he had hoped.

“Bin!”

Hanbin didn’t mean to flinch back into Bobby, but Yunhyeong was _too much, too close,_ and he couldn’t handle it.

The jerky movement forced a growl from the younger Alpha as Yunhyeong took a step back, raising his hands to show he had no intention of harming Hanbin.

“Are you okay?”

Hanbin nodded, head snapping to the side as a scoff rang through the room.

Jinhwan was obviously still upset with them, with _him,_ and Hanbin pulled Bobby’s arms to sit tighter around his waist.

It only took another shuddery sob from Junhoe for Hanbin to pull away from the older rapper, nearly knocking the youngest Alpha down with the force he crashed into him with.

“June, you’re okay. Hyung’s here.”

The words slipped out before Hanbin could stop them, rolling them around on his tongue for a bit to get a feel for them.

Usually, those very phrases were being directed at him, but now it was his turn to give comfort.

Not that he was in much of a condition to do so, seeing as his knees buckled for the third time, sending both him and Junhoe to the floor.

Just that showed how _off_ Junhoe must have been feeling, still whimpering in the crook of Hanbin’s neck as the Omega tried to push out as many _calming_ pheromones as possible.

“Can you knock it off?!” Bobby growled as Jinhwan scoffed again at the pair of them, “Can’t you see that you’re just hurting them?”

Jinhwan bristled, shoulders hunching up before he turned on Bobby.

“Is that all any of you fucking care about anymore?!”

The words sat heavy and tense in the room, Donghyuk audibly gasping as the situation truly sank in.

Yunhyeong steeled his gaze, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean!” Jinhwan snarled. He clenched his fists, somehow seeming both so much smaller, and so much larger than everyone else in the room, “You know what I mean,” he repeated, quieter, _hurt._

“You’re…You’re jealous.”

Everyone turned to face Hanbin, save for the Alpha still curled into him.

“You’re jealous. Of me. You’re jealous of me.”

The realization hit Hanbin out of nowhere, probably much later than the others. It almost seemed unfounded, why would Jinhwan be jealous of him? It seemed ridiculous, _wrong._

“I’m not!” Jinhwan yelled back, “Shut _up!”_

Hanbin’s breath was stuttery as he bite out the same phrase, “You’re jealous of me. Which is stupid.”

“I’m not _fucking jealous!”_

“You are!” Hanbin snapped back, making Junhoe flinch slightly from where he was under the Omega, “You are. You’re used to getting all of the attention. You’re used to being in the center. The small one, the protected one.”

His voice wasn’t accusing, merely observing.

Jinhwan shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, “You’re wrong! You don’t understand, you don’t _get it!_ You don’t know anything!”

“Do you-” Hanbin took another breath, keeping his head down, “Do you think I wanted to be an Omega?”

Jinhwan’s eyes snapped open.

“Do you think I wanted my dad to beat the shit out of me for three years?”

The Beta faltered slightly.

“Why didn’t you talk to us? Instead of running away?”

Hanbin finally looked up, peering at Jinhwan with dull, gold eyes as the eldest stared back.

“Why didn’t I? Why didn’t _you?!”_ Jinhwan sneered at him. 

“You know why I didn’t!” Hanbin growled back, Junhoe’s arms keeping him in place as he tried to lunge forward.

 _“Do I?_ Is it because you didn’t trust us? Well, maybe I don’t fucking trust you! So just _stay away from me!”_

The way even Bobby flinched back at the hostility in Jinhwan’s voice shocked the eldest, left in a stunned silence as he watch Hanbin yank himself away from Junhoe.

The door slammed shut before any of them truly understood what had happened.

Barely another second passed before Bobby was following.

 _“See?”_ Donghyuk cried, Chanwoo’s grip on his wrist the only thing stopping him from running out after the rappers, “Weren’t you the one that said we needed to _talk?_ That we needed each other?”

“Donghyuk, calm down,” Yunhyeong tried to soothe the younger Beta before turnin to the eldest, “We’re a family. We’re going to hurt each other, but we have to work through it. I understand that you’re upset, but we need you to talk to us.”

Yunhyeong threw Jinhwan’s words back at him, and as soon as the eldest noticed-

He burst into tears.

“I- I just felt so _replaceable._ I-”

Jinhwan choked on a sob, no longer struggling as Yunhyeong slowly walked towards him, gathering the smaller up in his arms.

“And that was never our intention,” Yunhyeong mumbled into the elder’s hair, “We’re still new to this whole pack thing, and we need to talk to each other. I should have noticed how you were feeling, and I-”

“No!” Donghyuk cut him off, “It’s not your fault, hyung.”

Jinhwan only sobbed into Yunhyeong’s shoulder, thinking about how Hanbin must have felt, how _Junhoe_ must have felt.

He looked past the Pack Alpha to meet Junhoe’s watery eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Jinhwan whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

Running away had seemed so much easier than facing the jealousy, and the guilt from feeling like he was. 

Jinhwan knew it would hurt the others. He had known that, yet he did it anyway.

In fact, he _wanted_ it to hurt. He wanted them to be worried about him, selfishly occupying their thoughts.

He left Junhoe.

 _His_ Alpha. Jinhwan had no doubt in his mind that that would be true, had he just been born an Omega.

Junhoe, who was one of the loudest and most obnoxious people Jinhwan has ever met, but still one of the most insecure. He wanted nothing more than to make everyone around him happy.

And then there was Hanbin.

 _Their_ Omega. 

Their leader.

Someone that Jinhwan had held as one of his dearest friends, and he had hurt him over petty jealousy.

“Wh-What about Bin?” Jinhwan choked out, pulling away from Yunhyeong to wipe at his eyes.

“Can I go?” Donghyuk asked the eldest Alpha, restless beyond belief.

“I’ll go,” Yunhyeong tried to placate the Beta, “I need you and Chanwoo to get the nest ready, can you do that? I think we need a pack meeting, one where we aren’t screaming.”

Donghyuk and Chanwoo had taken to helping Yunhyeong put the finishing touches on the new nest, something that was meant as a surprise to Hanbin and the rest of the pack.

Both of the maknae Beta’s nodded, letting Yunhyeong pull them out of the door.

The last thing any of them saw was Jinhwan falling into Junhoe’s arms.

“Okay,” Yunhyeong said once the door was shut behind them, “Maybe go put some tea on, find Hanbin’s blanket and heating pad, maybe get something light for everyone to eat?”

“Hyung, don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuk nodded, “Just go get Hanbin and Bobby-hyung.”

“Ah, right.”

Yunhyeong watched the two Betas make their way up the stairs to the dorm he shared with the maknae and leader before he turned to follow the trail of both Hanbin and Bobby’s _panic_ down the hallway.

What he found was already a much better scenario that what he expected.

Bobby was sat with his back facing Yunhyeong, sitting almost at the bottom of the steps as Yunhyeong jogged down.

The Alpha had managed to catch Hanbin just before he made it out of the building.

Yunhyeong approached the final few feet slowly, not wanting to spook Bobby when his instincts were probably screaming _protect._

“Bobby-yah,” Yunhyeong softly called, crouching next to the pair, “Is everything okay?”

“He’s shaking really bad, hyung,” Bobby looked up at him, eyes red and voice strained, as he buried his face in Hanbin’s hair.

The younger was curled between Bobby’s legs once again, tucked tightly into the Alpha, both shivering slightly from sitting in the chilled hallway with no shirts.

Yunhyeong ran a hand though Bobby’s hair, the rapper leaning into his hand before pulling back slightly, letting the vocalist get a better look at the one curled into him.

He placed a warm hand over Hanbin’s bite mark, thumb rubbing across the younger’s check

“Hey, pup. We need to get you back, okay?”

Hanbin shook his head, turning away from Yunhyeong’s hand to hide his face in Bobby’s neck.

“C’mon, Bin,” Yunhyeong tried again, “I promise you’ll be okay, but you can’t stay here.”

_“Nani.”_

“Jinhwan-hyung is still here.”

 

It took a little bit more persuading for Yunhyeong and Bobby to get Hanbin up and mostly walking on his own, even as Bobby stayed close just in case.

It was a good thing, too, Hanbin tripping slightly about halfway up the steps before finally letting Bobby carry him the rest of the way.

Hanbin really didn’t feel well, hasn’t since the first altercation. 

Now that everything was catching up with him, he could barely lift his head from Bobby’s shoulder without the hallway spinning.

Before he really knew what was happening, the three of them were crossing the living room of the upstairs dorm.

Hanbin let his head fall back down, grip tightening on his own arms that were locked around Bobby’s neck.

“Blanket?”

“Okay, Hanbin-ah, I’ll get your blanket.”

Bobby attempted to place him down in the middle of the mattress, but Hanbin stubbornly whined and clung to him, refusing to let go.

“Shhhh, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay right here, right here. As long as you want me too,” Bobby was quick to soothe, spotting the grey, fleece blanket folded up close by. He snagged the cloth and attempted to wrap it around both him and Hanbin with only one hand.

“I got it,” Yunhyeong offered, helping the younger Alpha out and tucking the blanket around Hanbin’s body, the Omega untensing slightly as he was completely surrounded by his Alpha’s scent. “Do you think you’re good to have the others in here, pup? Or if you don’t want them here yet, we can go to the living room.”

“This is your nest now, Hanbin-ah,” Bobby added.

The rapper whined, pressing his forehead against Bobby’s chest, right between his collar-bones.

“Nani said—He doesn't—” Hanbin tried to mumble the words out but couldn’t bring himself to repeat them.

_Maybe I don’t fucking trust you! So just stay away from me!_

Jinhwan wanted nothing to do with him. Jinhwan didn’t want him. Jinhwan left because he was upset. Jinhwan was upset because of him.

It was his fault. Always his fault.

Jinhwan would have been a better Omega, better than Hanbin. Smaller, prettier, more delicate. 

Hanbin was a mistake. A fluke. Unwanted.

He pulled himself away from Bobby, rearranging his nest in an effort to distract himself from the buzzing in his ears, the noise blocking out anything Bobby or Yunhyeong were trying to say.

Each pillow and blanket held a different scent, _Junhoe, Donghyuk, Yunhyeong, Chanwoo. Bobby._

No Jinhwan.

Of course, why would it smell like Jinhwan?

Hanbin spotted a hoodie he frequently stole from Chanwoo. He snatched it up, ignoring his Alphas’ worried glances as he buried himself in the corner. 

If he was more aware, he’d notice how perfect the nest actually was, especially for him. There was no main light, but a lamp at each end of the room, as well as a string of fairy lights above the nest mattress.

“Hanbin-ah, talk to us,” Bobby tried to lay a hand on the Hanbin’s shoulder but the Omega shrugged it off to hide deeper in the covers.

“Is everything okay?”

Hanbin cowered away from the sound of Donghyuk’s voice, knowing both Betas had come in based on the scents filling the room.

_Lemon. Sadness. Vanilla. Regret._

Jinhwan.

He couldn’t stop the growl that was pulled from his chest at the thought of the Beta in his nest, someone angry with him, upset with him. Someone that hurt both him and their pack.

“Bin,” Yunhyeong mutters, seeing Jinhwan flinch back, “Don’t be like that…”

Hanbin shook his head, ripping the covers back as he snarled at the Pack Alpha.

“No. _No._ I am sick and fucking _tired_ of people telling me what I should be, how I should I feel. I’m sick of it!”

“Hanbin-ah, it’s okay—”

“I just wanna be _happy,_ why—why can’t—”

“Baby, please listen—”

“There you go again!” Hanbin shrieked, fisting his hands in his hair, “Stop telling me _what to do!_ Just stop!”

It was like something in him _snapped._ Something that had been pulled too far, stretched out ever since Jinhwan had left, maybe even before.

He was sick of it, he was _sick of it._  

Bobby cautiously attempted to move closer to the Omega, narrowly avoiding the hand the younger flung out in his direction.

The next time it happened, Bobby was able to catch it. He moved their hands to the side, leaving Hanbin exposed as he tried to curl back up.

“Hanbin-ah, you know I’m not trying to order you around, but you can’t work yourself up, okay?”

“I know,” Hanbin breathed out, “I know, I know. _I know!_ I—”

“Shhhh,” Bobby tried to quiet him, “C’mon, baby.”

“I’m just—I’m so fucking sick of—of feeling like I have no control,” Hanbin cried, “Like I’m a fucking _stranger_ to my own body. I’m—I’m sick of my feelings being disregarded, or feeling like I’m overreacting because I can’t control my fucking _hormones._ I hate always being in pain, I-I hate—I hate…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Bobby repeated, trying to calm, trying to soothe.

Hanbin wasn’t having it. He didn’t want to calm down. Why did everyone else get to be angry? Why did they get to yell and run away?

“Don’t—Don’t _touch_ me!” Hanbin yelled, yanking his hand out from Bobby’s grip to curl back up. He wanted to just disappear, tried to hide himself in the pile of blankets and pillows surrounding him. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m fine.”

He kept repeating the words until no sound was coming out, just mouthing the syllables. 

 

Donghyuk moved to wrap the Omega in his arms as soon as he saw Hanbin digging his nails in and pulling at his hair, halting the actions as he pulled the rapper forward, “Hyung, we’re here for you, we’re not gonna leave—”

“Bullshit!” Hanbin grit out, struggling against the Beta, “Bull-fucking-shit! Don’t give me that!”

“Hanbin—” Jinhwan tried, only to be cut off.

“No! Shut up, _shut up._ You don’t get to say anything!”

Hanbin tried to yank himself away again, only managing to make Donghyuk tighten his hold. 

“Bobby,” Donghyuk started, gritting his teeth as Hanbin elbowed him in the ribs, “You’d be better for this.”

But Hanbin had said not to touch him, and Bobby was hesitant to do so in case he upset the younger even more.

“Let me _go.”_

They watched as he broke down, body wracked with sobs as Bobby reached for him, pulling the leader away from Donghyuk and into his lap.

It was harder to start the Alpha-rumble when he was trying, but Bobby was able to choppily get it going, getting him several surprised looks from the others.

It was only a matter of time before Hanbin lost it, and truthfully, Bobby had been waiting for the breakdown. He figured it would happen when Jinhwan came back, but he still wasn’t prepared for it.

“Bin…” Jinhwan whispered, “I’m sorry,” He tried to grab the Omega’s hands before he yanked them away.

The Beta leaned forward to rest his forehead against the shaking hands.

“Not fair, it’s—it’s not fair.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jinhwan repeated, tears choking him up as Hanbin’s head dropped to rest on his own.

 

Mid-sob, Hanbin pulled him forward into his body, subsequently pushing himself back against Bobby as the three of them collapsed onto the mattress.

Jinhwan buried his face in Hanbin’s heaving chest, just under the necklace of bruises laid out across his collar-bones, as Hanbin pulled him closer.

“Don’t leave again,” Hanbin muttered into the eldest’s hair, “Please, don’t go.”

Breathing out a sob in time with the younger, “I won’t.”

Hanbin knew this wasn’t the end. They needed to talk, some time when he was feeling better and Jinhwan wasn’t exhausted from the fighting. 

And Junhoe wasn’t—

_Where was Junhoe?_

Hanbin’s head snapped up, startling both Bobby and Jinhwan as he frantically glanced around the room.

His eyes found Yunhyeong and the two Betas, and Hanbin could feel his face crumple as the tears started again, “Junhoe—Where?”

“C’mon, June,” Bobby softly called the youngest Alpha over, the singer peeking out from behind the other two maknaes, “C’mere.”

Junhoe slowly made his way over, steps careful as he settled himself behind Jinhwan and Hanbin laid back down. Their eyes met over the Beta’s head, Junhoe’s red contrasting Hanbin’s blue and gold.

The others soon joined. Donghyuk behind Junhoe, Yunhyeong sat with Junhoe and the Beta’s heads on his lap as he carded his fingers through Hanbin’s hair.

Chanwoo had managed to wiggle his way between Bobby and Hanbin, face pressed against the Omega’s stomach as Bobby threw a leg over his side.

 

 

“I shouldn’t have left you,” Jinhwan murmured, sometime later when the tears had finally dried up.

Hanbin tightened his grip on Junhoe’s shirt, pulling himself closer to both Jinhwan and the Alpha, “You could’ve talked to us,” he whispered back, “We’ve only got each other. I—I can’t lose you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“We were so worried.”

“I know, I know.”

“Why?” Junhoe choked out behind him.

“You were right. I—I was jealous,” Jinhwan admitted against the Omega’s chest, “Seeing the way everyone was suddenly falling over themselves to help you, myself included. It wasn’t right, not for me, at least. Jeju is 80% Betas, and Seungyoon was the first male Omega I had met, but he never acted like one. You made me feel like I had to take care of you, even though my brain still sees you as our Alpha.”

“I’m still your leader. I’m still me,” Hanbin said, “I’m still me.”

“I know you are, I’m sorry. I’ll be better.”

 

* * *

 

“Haaaaaaaaanbin-aaaaaaaaaah, your phone’s ringiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.”

“Hyung, shut up,” Hanbin grumbled as he tightened his hold around Jinhwan’s waist.

In the few days since the eldest returned, Hanbin had barely let Jinhwan or Junhoe out of his sight, the Alpha currently sprawled on his back just behind the rapper.

“He get sick again?” Bobby asked Jinhwan, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress to lay a hand on the Beta’s arm.

Hanbin snorted, eyes still shut as Junhoe groaned behind him, “Could just ask me, yenno.”

“I could,” Bobby mused, “But if you wanted me to know, you would’ve told me.”

“Because it’s gross, and you don’t like it.”

“Yeah, but I like _you,_ dummy,” Bobby chuckled, “I want to help in anyway I can. Liiiiiiike bringing you your phone.”

Hanbin _huffed,_ blindly reaching a hand out towards the Alpha, “Press 2 on speed-dial.”

Bobby did as told, handing over the cell as Hanbin let it fall against the side of his face, waiting for the dial tone to come to an end.

_“Why do you never answer your phone?”_

“Hmm. Sorry, Ma. What’s up?”

_“I’m filing for sole custody of Hanbyul.”_

“You’re _what?”_ Hanbin sat up, knocking Junhoe awake in the process, “Did something happen?”

He ignored Bobby and Jinhwan’s questioning glances, waiting for his mom to answer.

_“They’re reopening the investigation. After the news about you came out, people started speculating why you hid it. It was obviously not due to the company, looking at the others under the label. Someone at your father’s business started spreading rumors.”_

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Bin?”

He waved the Beta off, mumbling out a _hold on_ as his mother sighed over the call.

_“Your uncle wouldn’t let anything happen, you know that.”_

“Where is he?”

No answer.

“Mom, _tell me,”_ Hanbin pleaded, “Where is he?”

 _“We’re not sure,”_ She breathed out, _“The company hasn’t seen him in a few days.”_

“Days?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Bobby was getting visibly agitated, wanting to know what was upsetting his Omega. Jinhwan, too. 

Betas were like sponges when it came to pheromones, Jinhwan was realizing. Maybe that was why both him and Chanwoo were so affected by the others. Betas naturally wanting to be the middle ground of the pack. 

_“Lose that tone right now.”_

“S-Sorry…” Hanbin trailed off, smiling softly as Jinhwan flopped over in his lap, rubbing his face against the Omega’s stomach to scent him. 

 _“I am too. I should’ve told you,”_ She paused, taking a moment to collect herself, _“You’re an adult now, and you have a pack to help you.”_

Hanbin ran his fingers through Jinhwan’s hair, “I may have my own pack now, but you’re always gonna be my mom.”

She laughed, a sound Hanbin missed more than anything, _“I miss you, sweetie. Come home soon. And bring the others so I can meet them.”_

“You’ve met them before?”

_“But not as my baby’s pack. I need to make sure they’re good enough for you.”_

Jinhwan snored softly in his lap, him and Junhoe already back asleep. 

He looked to Bobby, the Alpha looking at him with the dopiest grin on his face. 

“I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about there, mom.”

 

They may not be a perfect pack, but they were perfect for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted the first chapter of my JunBin uni au!! I'd really appreciate if yall went and checked that out~
> 
> 9-9-19 Again, sorry the second part of this cuts off at a weird place. There was actually a fair bit more to this chapter but I got lazy so imma put it in the next one lmao.  
> (If you want mindless double b smut, check out the fic I just posted Over It. hehehe)
> 
> I like how I said a couple of days for the second part but it’s been a month lol. 
> 
> Also, neko sounds like “mine” (my thing) in Korean. Yeah
> 
> 12-9-19 lol hey wassup adding another 2k to this that I was too lazy to finish writing when I last updated so here ya go. 
> 
> Also, look at the next “chap” and pls lemme know what u think


	16. You make me happy, I wish you would be happy because of me too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is from Lean on Me by Bobby
> 
> long time no see, eh? what's new haha
> 
> so, hate me if you will, but i'm going to be putting this chapter up in three, maybe two parts. So this is only about 3.5k, and i apologize
> 
> this part is almost entirely binhwan  
> but double b shippers, stick around. you'll like what comes next, i promise hhehe

“Think m’gonna be sick…”

“Just breathe, pup,” Jinhwan ran his hand over Hanbin’s back, “I can ask Yunhyeong to make you some tea. Ginger and honey, yeah?”

“Maybe—in a bit. Really feelin’ sick righ’now,” Hanbin shifted slightly before stilling when the movement made him even more nauseous, “Really, really sick.”

Jinhwan sighed, they had spent the past few days falling asleep curled together in the nest, Hanbin protectively wrapped around the Beta with the others coming and going during the night. 

Junhoe spent a lot of time with them, and Hanbin just slept better with either Bobby or Yunhyeong with him. 

“Bathroom?” Jinhwan asked, growing a little frantic when Hanbin nodded, “Okay, okay. Bathroom.”

He tried to slip out from Hanbin’s death grip without jostling the Omega too much, helping the younger to stand up. Almost immediately after getting vertical, Hanbin pushed past Jinhwan to rush out the room.

The eldest followed once his brain caught up after a few seconds, passing a sleepy and disgruntled Chanwoo drinking orange juice straight out of the bottle.

“Hyung?” The maknae questioned, “Was that…?”

“Hanbin? Yeah. Is Yun still out?” 

Chanwoo nodded as he stepped to the side to let Jinhwan grab a bottle of water, “Yeah, Donghyuk-hyung is with Junhoe, and who knows what Bobby’s doing.”

“He said he was planning something for Bin,” Jinhwan mentioned in passing, “Speaking of, I’m gonna go see how he is.”

Hanbin was really weird about people seeing him get sick, no matter how often they told him they’d rather be with him, and Jinhwan learned that it was easier to wait a few minutes for Hanbin to calm down slightly.

Knocking on the half-closed door of the bathroom, Jinhwan waited for Hanbin’s groan to actually walk in, finding the leader sat back against the sink as he turned his head up to the Beta.

“This is getting really tiring,” Hanbin complained, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the cabinet, “And I wish it would stop.”

“I can only imagine,” Jinhwan sat on the edge of the tub, “Com’ere, Bin.”

Hanbin sighed before scooching across the small room to fit himself between Jinhwan’s legs to plant his face against the Beta’s thigh.

“Did the doctor say anything about why you’ve been getting sick?” Jinhwan asked.

“There’s nothing physically wrong with my stomach,” Hanbin’s voice was resigned, muffled slightly by Jinhwan’s bare thigh, “But Dr. Novak has an…idea…”

“Well,” Jinhwan chuckled softly, “Are you gonna tell me?”

In the past week, Hanbin had been in contact with Dr. Novak a few times just to make sure nothing was actually wrong, and nothing _was,_ as far as he knew.

“It’s embarrassing…”

“Well if we know what’s wrong, maybe we can help?” Jinhwan ran his fingers through the younger’s hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, “I just want to help.”

He couldn’t stop the _guilt_ from leaking into his scent, making Hanbin tense up slightly.

“She…thinks it’s…Ugh. _Hyung,_ it’s embarrassing,” Hanbin whined, “She thinks it’s because of the hormones after…when you guys…with the slick…”

Hanbin usually woke up feeling less nauseous after falling asleep to someone (usually some combination of Yunhyeong, Junhoe, Chanwoo, and Donghyuk) _stimulating his slick gland_ (ew) and offering at least some relief.

He hated his body.

“When I don’t do… _that…_ my body could be reacting to enlarged gland as if I was in heat…or…”

“Pregnant,” Jinhwan finished for him.

“Yeah, that.”

“But, y-you aren’t actually, right?” Jinhwan’s voice shook slightly.

Hanbin shook his head, “No, but the levels my hormones are at right now match with the pattern of pregnant, male Omegas. That’s probably why my back has been hurting too, and my chest.”

“So, you’re basically getting morning sickness without actually being pregnant?” Jinhwan asked and Hanbin nodded against his leg, “That sucks.”

“No shit,” Hanbin snorted.

 

Jinhwan let him sit there for a little while, the Beta absentmindedly playing with his hair as Hanbin lazily rubbed his scent glands over the vocalist’s thigh.

“Okay, you should probably shower, you smell sweet and gross at the same time and it’s bugging even _my_ nose,” Jinhwan tried to rouse him slightly, “I can get one of the Alpha’s in here with you?”

“No!” Hanbin shot up and wrapped a hand around Jinhwan’s calf, looking embarrassed of his reaction a few seconds later, “No,” he repeated, softer, “Can you stay?”

Jinhwan’s eyes widened slightly before softening, “Yeah, Bin. I’ll stay. Bath or shower?”

Hanbin hummed, “Probably shower.” If he chose bath, he doubted he’d want to leave soon enough to be ready for their interview, “Get in with me?”

Not giving him a verbal agreement, Jinhwan stood up and pulled Hanbin up with him, helping to steady the Omega after a brief dizzy spell.

“I’m good. I’m good,” he repeated, “Thanks, hyung.”

“You can always lean on me, Hanbin. I hope you know that, and I hope you know I’m really sorry for leaving,” Jinhwan pursed his lips as the _guilt_ returned, looking down at their joined hands, rather than the leader’s face. 

“I know you are, and I’m sorry too, hyung,” Hanbin said, wrapping the eldest in a tight hug, “Should’ve told you guys from the beginning. Should’ve trusted you.”

Jinhwan gave a humorless chuckle against Hanbin’s (Donghyuk’s?) shirt, fisting his hands in the material, “I know why you didn’t, and I’m sorry for that too. We all are. I’m sorry for doubting you, and for excluding you, and—and leaving you. I’m so sorry,” he choked out. 

“Don’t cry, hyung,” Hanbin squeezed him even tighter, “Hey, how about we do take a bath instead?”

“Yeah,” Jinhwan sniffled, “I could go for a bath.”

 

Jinhwan was midway through pulling his shorts down when Hanbin dropped to his knees in front of him, and for a second the Beta panicked at what might have happened, but then the Omega was staring up at him through lidded eyes.

“Bin?”

“Can I?” Hanbin asked, nuzzling his face against Jinhwan’s thigh once more.

Backing up to lean against the wall, “If you wanna…” The Beta gently carded his fingers through the younger’s hair, “You know it’s impossible to say ‘no’ to you.”

Hanbin grinned at him, crooked and _happy_ before placing a single kiss to Jinhwan’s hipbone. He lowered the elder’s shorts all the way, taking his time with nosing at the base of his cock.

Of the Betas, Jinhwan was definitely the thickest. Long, but thankfully not too long because Hanbin didn’t think his gag reflex could handle much right now.

He went from mouthing at the base to licking a slow line up before taking Jinhwan’s length in, bobbing his head a few times before pulling off with a _pop._

“Go slow,” Jinhwan reminded him, even if he wanted Hanbin to be anything but _slow._ He’d rather the younger be comfortable than worry too much about getting off.

But this was the first time Hanbin was doing anything with Jinhwan, and he wanted nothing more than to please his pack.

Jinhwan’s hands started to card through Hanbin’s hair once more as the younger picked up his pace, “Don’t force yourself,” he said as the Omega took him all the way down, but Hanbin was determined.

“Wanna make you feel good,” Hanbin breathed out, “Missed you.”

“I missed you too, Bin.”

Hanbin went back to blowing him, if it could even be called that, barely anything more than kitten licks around Jinhwan’s tip before swallowing him down again. 

“You might even deepthroat better than June,” Jinhwan groaned, “Don’t tell him I said that.”

That almost made Hanbin snort, but he refrained when he noticed how close the Beta was. 

He would hope he was better, even if Junhoe had more experience, and knew Jinhwan’s preferences better, Hanbin’s body was literally _made_ for this. 

He’d make sure Jinhwan never wanted to leave again, or Bobby, or anyone. 

Play his role better as the pack’s Omega. 

Jinhwan came after a few more thrusts, cum spilling into Hanbin’s mouth as he eagerly swallowed. 

“Jeez,” the Beta laughed, “Not even I like jizz that much.”

His words only made Hanbin giggle, “You taste like a lemon square.”

“And what do you taste like?” Jinhwan shot back, now grinning at the younger’s flushed face, “Sweet? Or spicy?”

“Don’t call me spicy,” Hanbin giggled again, “And I think it’s pretty sweet…”

“Have you tasted yourself?”

“Uh…” Hanbin felt the color rise back into his cheeks, “Y-Yeah?”

His first blowjob, actually, when he was with Yunhyeong and the maknae Betas. He used his own slick to lube up Yunhyeong’s cock when—

He whined.

“Yeah?” Jinhwan slowly flipped their positions to sit Hanbin down on the edge of the tub.

Hanbin willingly followed, and for a second Jinhwan was lost on how to handle the uncharacteristic submissiveness.

He wasn’t expecting the behavior, Hanbin was usually a bit more take-charge with the Betas. Actually, he was only out-right submissive with Yunhyeong, maybe even Bobby at times, but not with Junhoe.

Which was odd, considering Junhoe had the strongest pheromones and could knock any of them to the floor when he was angry.

Jinhwan knew his own were pretty mild in comparison, only Donghyuk’s being weaker. So he didn’t understand why Hanbin was staring up at him with hazy eyes and pouting lips.

Like he wanted Jinhwan to take control.

“How about a bath instead?” Jinhwan tried to change the direction, reaching past the Omega to turn the water of the tub on.

He tried to ignore the _confusion_ in Hanbin’s scent as he grabbed a few towels, draping two over the heater in the bathroom and setting the third at the bottom of the tub.

“You want me to get in first?”

Hanbin shook his head before slowly moving to remove his clothing to climb in the tub.

Jinhwan frowned, “Wait,” he said, Hanbin stilling as he was about to swing a leg over the side, “Lean forward.”

The rapper looked at him with a raised eyebrow before complying, just like Jinhwan knew he would, bent over the edge of the tub as Jinhwan settled behind him.

“I—I don’t really know what I’m doing,” Jinhwan gave him a forewarning.

He’s only ever done this to himself, and even then, it wasn’t all that frequent. That was Junhoe’s job.

“Hyung, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

Hanbin whined again as Jinhwan ran a comforting hand down his back, “Nani, please.”

“Your waist is so small now,” the Beta mumbled, staring at his small hands still managing to span most of Hanbin’s waist.

Over the past months, Jinhwan hadn’t noticed just how different Hanbin’s body was from even just a year prior.

“Nani…”

“I know, Bin. I know.”

Jinhwan could see the slick glistening over Hanbin’s hole, even trailing down his thighs, and he was almost entranced by the sight.

The only other time he’d really seen it was Junhoe’s first night with Hanbin, but Jinhwan tried to stay as detached as he could in that situation, not looking anywhere close.

It was shinier than he expected, and smelled almost offensively sweet, but Jinhwan was curious now.

He ran a curious finger over one of the lines that were slowly trickling from Hanbin’s entrance, making the Omega gasp in surprise.

“Are—Are you _sniffing_ it?” Hanbin asked, affronted.

Jinhwan paused, his finger still positioned in front of his face when Hanbin looked back at him.

“Oh, my god. You are,” he laughed.

“Hey,” Jinhwan found himself laughing along, “If I’m being honest, this is the closest I’ve been to anyone’s asshole.”

“Don’t phrase it like that!” Hanbin whined, “It’s dirty.”

“Hanbin, you’re bent over a tub and leaking almost as much as the faucet in front of you,” Jinhwan deadpanned, finger sliding towards where the slick was coming from, “Maybe more, actually. How do you deal with this?”

“It’s not usually that bad, unless I’m—” Hanbin was cut off by a gasp, _“Horny.”_

Jinhwan had stuck his fucking finger in with _zero_ warning, clumsily feeling his way around before deadpanning, “You feel different than I do.”

“W-Well,” Hanbin stuttered, “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“What—” He paused when Jinhwan pressed another finger in, “What do you—What do you mean?”

“You just,” the Beta paused, like he was thinking about how to phrase his question, “Do _that.”_

The _‘that’_ was punctuated with another finger joining the first two, settling in with ease.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Jinhwan didn’t stop his inquisitive prodding, and Hanbin was just barely able to pull himself together enough to answer, “Omega’s are—They’re meant to—”

He didn’t know what to say. Was he at the risk of setting Jinhwan off? That was the last thing Hanbin wanted to do, but he also didn’t want to leave the Beta’s question unanswered.

“Meant for this, huh?” Jinhwan mumbled, still just watching how Hanbin’s body adjusted around him in seconds. He could easily add a fourth if he wanted to.

It made sense.

Hanbin’s body was meant to take knots. 

Jinhwan’s wasn’t.

“You don’t—don’t have to continue,” Hanbin said. Gasped. Choked. Whatever.

Jinhwan didn’t say anything, didn’t give any acknowledgment towards the leader’s words in the slightest, just continued to work his fingers in the younger.

It wasn’t bringing either of them pleasure, Jinhwan had no interest in what he was doing and Hanbin was now too on-edge to enjoy it, but the Beta didn’t stop.

“Nani.”

Jinhwan added a fourth, making Hanbin whimper from everything but the stretch.

“Nani, stop.”

He didn’t.

“Stop. Jinhwan, _stop it.”_

Finally snapping out of it, Jinhwan’s head snapped up to find Hanbin with his forehead resting on the lip of the tub, arms caging his head as his back trembled.

He yanked his hand away, “Fuck, Hanbin. I’m—Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” Hanbin flipped over, pulling Jinhwan against him, “I’m fine, it’s—it’s fine. Just wasn’t feeling it anymore. And the tub’s gonna overflow.”

Jinhwan hurried to turn the handle to stop the water. He hoped it wouldn’t be too high for the both of them, but—

“Do you want me to go?” He meekly asked.

“No, no, no,” Hanbin had a habit of repeating himself when he was nervous, it seemed, “Please don’t. Don’t go, unless you want to,” he quickly backtracked, “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“But you want me to?”

“Of course,” Hanbin stressed, “But, if you—”

“Okay,” Jinhwan cut him off, “I’ll stay.”

Hanbin almost wanted to argue back. Of course, he didn’t want Jinhwan to leave, but he didn’t want the Beta to feel like he had to stay just because Hanbin wanted him to and—

Wow. They were kind of a mess.

“We really need to get better at this whole _talking_ thing,” Jinhwan mumbled against Hanbin’s neck.

“I was just thinking that.”

 

Well, Jinhwan stayed, and they managed to get settled in the bath with minimal spilling and even less talking.

Hanbin was worried he was at fault for ruining the mood, but then Jinhwan moved from the opposite side to climb in between Hanbin’s legs. He leaned back and rubbed a hand over the Omega’s thigh. A silent apology.

“Can I—?”

“Can you, what?”

_Right. Communication._

Hanbin took a slow breath before mumbling the words out into Jinhwan’s neck, “Can I leave a mark?”

“You know it won’t last, right?”

Because Jinhwan was a Beta, not an Omega.

And Hanbin was an Omega, not an Alpha.

“I know, but that just means I can make a new one when it fades?”

Hanbin’s voice started to rise at the end, making the phrase sound more like a question, so Jinhwan nodded.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Maybe Hanbin could leave a matching mark on everyone in the pack, show everyone that they were his.

Starting with Bobby, and now Jinhwan.

He nuzzled the side of Jinhwan’s neck again, a few inches away from where the pack bite sat on his shoulder, before biting down lightly.

The biting turned into sucking, and then Hanbin pulled back to lazily run his tongue over the mark.

“Do you have to lick my entire neck when you do that?” Jinhwan complained, but the effect was ruined when he started laughing halfway through, “You’re gross.”

“You love it,” Hanbin bit down again, “You love me.”

It wasn’t as noticeable that time, the slight inflection at the end, a raise of pitch that _almost_ made it seem like a question.

_You love me, right?_

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Good,” Hanbin said as he snuggled even closer to Jinhwan’s back, “You better.”

 

Yeah, they had an interview to prepare for.

No, they didn’t leave the bath until Yunhyeong started banging on the door to rush them out.

-

An hour or so later would find Hanbin dozing off in the seat of their van, wrapped in a stolen hoodie (Chanwoo’s? It was Fortnite, so. Probably) with a heat patch tucked under.

This was going to be their first official appearance since the news got out, and it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it was.

Hanbin had lied about his sub-gender, and iKONICS may not have cared but the media will use anything and everything for a story. It was only a matter of time before the rumors about his father turned into even more headlines, and Hanbin wasn’t ready.

He wasn’t ready, but that didn’t matter. They had to get this done.

The longer they let it sit, the worse it would look. 

“I don’t see why your secondary gender is anyone’s business,” Junhoe grumbled when they first got into the van, and Hanbin had only been able to offer him a nervous laugh before Donghyuk started to scent him on his other side.

Junhoe seemed to realize that talking about it was only going to make Hanbin more nervous, so he held off on the rant to gruffly take the leader’s hand, not-so-subtly rubbing his wrist over Hanbin’s arm.

It helped, it really did. 

His pack keeping their cool did wonders to keep him from panicking, and being surrounded by their scents was even better.

Junhoe tugged the sleeves of Chanwoo’s hoodie past Hanbin’s hands, only offering a shrug when the Omega looked at him in question.

“Your hands felt cold,” the Alpha mumbled, the gruff words being the exact opposite of the gentle touch.

Hanbin gave a little hum, “Can I take a nap?”

He was tired, mentally exhausted from all the things going on recently. He wanted to sleep, and Junhoe was warm.

The vocalist just pulled Hanbin’s head down to rest on his shoulder, meeting Donghyuk’s eyes as the Omega nuzzled his shoulder.

“Dong-ah,” Hanbin whined, “Cuddle.”

Junhoe dropped his head to rest on top of the elder’s as Donghyuk happily snuggled into Hanbin’s side.

There was no anxiety, no discomfort, no pain. Just warmth and security.

And naps.

 

“Yunhyeong?” Jinhwan softly asked once he was sure Hanbin was asleep, “I have a question.”

“Hmm, yeah, hyung?”

“Why…Why does Hanbin get so submissive with you? Have you noticed that?” 

The question made Bobby perk up from where he was leaning against Yunhyeong, “Hanbin-ah?” He sleepily mumbled, “What about’im?”

“Shhhh, don’t mind,” Yunhyeong _shushed_ him before turning back to Jinhwan, well aware that Bobby was going to listen in, “And as for Bin, can you elaborate a bit?”

“You’re an Alpha, yeah,” Jinhwan started to explain, “But so is June, and his pheromones are a lot stronger. Except, Hanbin gets really submissive with you, and only you.”

“Yeah,” Bobby mumbled, lifting his head up to join the conversation fully, “He’s only sometimes like that with me, not that we’ve really done much.”

Yunhyeong hummed, “I think it’s because he’s not too in tune with his own instincts, and he spent so long keeping them away, so Bin’s not as connected with normal Omega mannerisms, like submission.”

“Okay, but why you?”

“I baby him more,” Yunhyeong answered Jinhwan’s question.

“That would make sense with why he’ll sometimes get like that with me,” Chanwoo mused, even though the others thought he’d been asleep most of the trip.

Jinhwan still wasn’t understanding, what did babying Hanbin have to do with anything? Did Jinhwan ‘baby’ Hanbin? He didn’t think so, not any more than he did the others, at least.

“I still don’t get it,” he mumbled, “Why?”

“Well, he’s able to ignore the more submissive parts of his nature usually, right?” Yunhyeong rhetorically asked, “When he’s being taken care of like that, I’d imagine it’s harder to ignore, and will just naturally come out.”

Okay, Jinhwan supposed that was a reasonable possibility. He was being softer with Hanbin than usual earlier.

He wanted to be able to continue being like that, but he didn’t want to be expected to lead Hanbin. Jinhwan just wasn’t a demanding person, unless it came to how he liked being fucked. He didn’t think he could be that for Hanbin.

Although, maybe that was fine?

Hanbin had the others to take care of him in that way, Jinhwan could offer his help in other aspects.

That’s why they were a pack, right? To be there for each other?

He glanced back at the seat behind him, Hanbin was curled between Donghyuk and Junhoe as he slept.

Cute.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude) for twit aus and actual updates on updates wowza
> 
> see ya when i see ya  
> (aka when i put the next parts of this chap up lol)

**Author's Note:**

> Hihi!!
> 
> Thankyu for reading!!
> 
> I’d appreciate if you dropped a comment or leave kudos :P
> 
> My [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude) is @MvgetanAttitude pls say hi
> 
> (Check out my other Hanbin-centric fics!! I’ll probably post a decent amount for the Kitten-Bin series, so go check those out between updates!!)  
> ((Yeet))


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